Phranp

I am sorry that you have been made to feel like an island by family and friends. Sometimes you have to take what you can get, where you can get it. This forum provides a lot of support, a well spring of information, and it is a great place to vent. That said, I have to say that as an African-American my experience has been just the opposite. Most of the people I know that have had WLS (mostly gastric bypass) are A-A and there's been no stigma attached to any of us. As for myself, my family and friends are super supportive. (With the exception of a former sis-in-law, but that's a story for another time) I was telling my best friend that my sister was my "biggest fan" and so proud of my weight loss and she said "hey, I'm your biggest fan". I was like "yes, you too, you are both my biggest fans" LOL My brother and his wife are full of compliments when they see me and make every attempt to accommodate my food needs when I go to their house for dinner. Even though I tell them just to cook as they normally do. Another friend that had gastric bypass about 9 years ago was absolutely thrilled when I had lapband surgery and her mom called me a few weeks ago to ask about the band because she is considering the surgery. Her granddaughter is considering it too and came to me for information. I always send them to this forum. I guess my point is that from my perspective the A-A community is very accepting of lapband surgery. Heck I know A-As that have had breast enhancements, tummy tucks and even a nose job (that was due to a medical sugery that resulted in damage to her nose so ...). At the same time, I have no doubt that your (and the Noturningback's) experience is real and that in your circle this is the way lapband is viewed. I just would not view my experience (or yours) as the norm of the entire A-A community. We are a diverse group. As it happens I live in L.A. which may (or may not) be the reason that WLS surgery is accepted in the A-A community. But most of all I would hope that knowing that our community is so diverse, you will not feel so much like an island. Thanks to the internet and forums like this you will find many A-As that have a lot in common with you. You will also learn how much you have in common with other cultures, especially when it comes to the lapband. This is a good thing. We are all in this together and can help and support each other. All the best to you on your journey. ~Fran

It sounds like you were not given much information about the band before surgery. This happens sometimes, you are not alone. I would like to suggest that you begin doing research (on this forum and/or other places online) on the band and how it works. Hopefully with a better understanding you will have more success. With respect to drinking water ... everyone needs to drink approx. 64 oz. of water everyday. Water is essential to staying healthy with -- or without the lapband. It absolutely aids in weightloss, but more importantly, if you become dehydrated after having lapband surgery you will likely find yourself in the emergency room. Please stay hydrated. Knowledge is power. There is a lot of info on this forum. Read, read, read. You are ahead of the game because you have already had the surgery. Now you just have to educate yourself. All the best to you on your journey. ~Fran

First, what kind of insurance do you have? I had the same thing happen to me TWICE. My PCP sent me t a wonderful doc and his team was really great ... only to find out they were out of network. So I checked the website for my insurance and found another doc (I have BCBS). Once the new doc started the paperwork they found out that he was no longer on my insurance! So I found yet another doc ... I was careful and made sure he was on my insurance ... jumped through every hoop. The date was set and about a week before surgery I got a call from his office, they told me that my surgery had been cancelled because the surgery center that the doc uses (whichalso had a contract with my insurance) refused to accept my insurance because they said BCBS does not pay them enough. They just flat out refused! I couldn't believe it. Finally I searched and searched and found a general surgeon who in turn found a hospital that accepted what my insurance and was willing to pay. I had my surgery 2 weeks after the original date that had been set. When all this happened I was disappointed just like you, at first. But I kept plugging through because I was determined to have this surgery. I am so glad I did. Check with your insurance directly and ask them where on their website you can find their policies for this surgery, then get to work making it happen. Keep your head up, all is not lost. It may take a little footwork on your part, but you can make this happen. All the best to you! ~Fran

Yes, my band can be fickle as well ... but, whenever this happens to me the first thing I look at is how much liquid I have consumed in the previous 24 hours. I often find that I am a bit dehydrated. Once I drink more fluids I am able to consume food again. Good luck! ~Fran

I was 53 when I was banded. Had back surgery in 2004 (L3, L4, L5 fusion), and I have spinal stenosis. Tragic, huh? NOT! Thanks to the weight I have lost with the lapband I walk 2.5 miles every morning before work and 3 miles on the weekend. I would walk farther ... but my life is too busy, I don't have the time! Once you have had the surgery you might wish you had done it sooner ... but you won't stay in that thought too long because your life will be moving so fast you won't have time to think about all the "iffa, coulda, woulda, shouldas" -- you will be living life like it's GOLDEN! This is the best thing I have ever done for myself and I don't regret it one bit ... and being 55 now doesn't make it any less fantastic! Oh ... just for a moment, let me get real -- I am a slow loser. A lot of that is due to the fact that I cannot do strenuous exercise because of back surgery, spinal stenosis, etc. But, when I started this journey in June 2009 I was wearing a size 26, I am now wearing a size 14 -- and still losing. I am 5'8" so a 14 looks pretty good on the old girl. So, yes, your journey may be different from some but it will be very similar to a lot of others -- like me. Either way, success is on the horizon. All the best to you on your journey! ~Fran

"nerdy-goodie two shoes and SO careful since being banded": ME? Not so much. I have always been a rebel and I am toooo old to change. I do try ... in spurts. LOL But if that is how you want to make your journey I say GO FOR IT BandedKitten! This is YOUR journey and you can do it any way you like. I admire your desire to "do the right thing" and I wish you the very best. Also, my doc was extremely lax with the "rules" ... mostly because he is a general surgeon. Good surgeon, nice guy ... just not a lot of hand holding. No prob. I learned a lot about lapband on this forum. Good luck! ~Fran

All the best to you! You are in my prayers and I know you will come through the surgery just fine. Welcome to bandland! ~fran

Sounds like a good plan. Skip the middle man!

First things first: "Most people say that it is the easy way out" False ... you'll see "you will gain all the weight back" It can happen, but it would be your choice "it doesn't deal with emotional eating issues" TRUE ... but it gives you a chance to lose and keep the weight off while you are dealing with the emotional eating issue "So, how do we get those negative things people say out of our minds?" <STRONG>Educate yourself about the lapband ... the better you understand how it works the less you will hear their ignorant (because of their lack of knowledge) comments in your mind

I love, love, love getting up at 5 a.m. to go to the park and power walk 2.5+ miles before work ... who just said that? Wait, it really was ME! It's true, I love my morning walks ... even when I have to talk to people. I know that sounds bad, but I like to listen to my iPod and meditate/pray while I walk. It's Sunday morning and I am about to go to my "weekend" park at the Marina. I will walk a mile to the Water and sit in the gazebo, read my Bible and write in my journal. It is wonderful, and a total surprise to me that I love walking so much. I had back surgery in 2004 and still have some pain ... but I don't care, I just walk through the pain because I love being outdoors walking. I am seeing a physical therapist and they have a machine that takes away 75% of our body weight while you walk the treadmill and as lovely as it is not to feel any pain in my hips ... I still prefer walking outdoors - pain and all. It's the best! Also, I like shopping for new clothes ... so much so that I am currently low, low, low on disposable cash. No more clothes shopping for a while. This is actually a good thing because I would like to go down a few more sizes before making a purchase. There are many more things that I am happy that I traded the food for, but walking and shopping are my top 2. Good question, glad you asked. It made me think and appreciate. ~Fran

I totally get that you feel like you are being jerked around. And, maybe you are ... but maybe ... not so much. Here's the thing, if your docs office does primarily WLS, perhaps they haven't sent your paperwork because it is there practice to gather absolutely everything BEFORE submitting. But, here's the thing, while I truly understand your anger and frustration, that's not what will get you your lap band. So, my suggestion is this ... just like you called your insurance company and rreceived the info that led you to the the conclusion that your docs office is lying to you, you should call your docs off and get all the prerequisites that theyrequire for lapband. You can usually find it on your insurance company's website and your insurance company can help you find exactly where that is. Once you have the information make a check list of all the things you have given to your doctor's office. IF you find that you have submitted everything required, make an appointment with your doc and bring the prerequsites supplied by your insurance and your check list. Calmly discuss it with your doctor. If you do no like his/her answer, send a request - in writing- for your medical records and find another doc. Now, if when you get the prerequisites from your insurance you find that you do not have everything you need, complete the remainder before your doc even asks for it. Submit it and THEN make the appointment with you check list, etc. The bottom line is that more and more our medical health (as well as other areas of our life) is completely our responsibility. I know there was a time when professionals cared about "doing the right thing" and doctors were truly "caregivers", but that time is just about gone. WE have to take our medical care in our own hands and do the research necessary to get what we need. I know it's not always easy, and from you name "meanmom" you have kids and THAT in itself makes everything more challenging because you are not only responsible for yourself but your entire family -- including hubby. LOL But, just take a deep breath, and after the kids are asleep sit down with pen and paper and make a list of things you need to do to get to where you want to be -- in the surgery room getting your lap band. Many of us bandsters have had challenges on the way to getting our bands (myself included), and some of us have had challenges AFTER getting our bands, be it insurance or the doc. Trust me, I know you are anxious, I was too. It's good to have a place to vent and this forum is definitely the right place because so many of us understand your frustrations. You WILL have your surgery, patience was never one of my virtues - still isn't - but I'm afraid you, like myself, will need it to reach our goals (be it getting the surgery or getting the weight off after the surgery). Good luck and God bless. ~Fran

I have two words for you: BANDSTER HELL it's no fun, but pretty common here ... do a search on this forum (upper right hand corner) and you will find LOTS of info about those first few months and how, until you reach your sweet spot, you can (please note the word "can" as opposed to "will" ... this is because many [not necessarily me] here use other methods - i.e., consistent exercise, strict diet, etc. - in order to lose during this phase) have difficulty losing ... these posts will also tell you why. Very informative. Hang in there folks, barring complications, weight loss is in your future. All the best to you. ~Fran

I had something similar happen. My doc was approved by my insurance and the surgery center he uses was also approved by my insurance. But, just days before my surgery I received a call from the docs office saying that my surgery had to be cancelled. Why? Because, even though the surgery center has a contract with my insurance they did not feel that the amount that their contract said they would be paid was enough! I called the surgery center and spoke to a woman there who said "Yes, it's true. We do not agree with the amount your insurance will pay us, so we won't do your surgery -- unless you pay the difference." (which was THOUSANDS of dollars). I was sooooo mad I could have exploded ... I cried instead, of course. So I called the benefits person at my job who, because the woman at the surgery center had given me information that she was not supposed to, almost got the surgery center lady fired! It was just awful. Long story short, within days I found a new surgeon and my surgeon found a hospital that would do the surgery for the price my insurance (BCBS) would pay. My surgery was originally scheduled for June 1, 2009. I had my surgery on June 15, 2009. This is just a minor bump in the road to the new you. Find a center of excellence that is on your insurance and match it up with a surgeon on your insurance that uses that facility. Won't take but a couple of days and you will be back in business. BUT, I tend to agree with you that the hospital IS a center of excellence and your insurance was given the wrong info. Either way ... if it God's will, you WILL have your surgery. Let's touch and agree on you getting your surgery, shall we? God bless, ~Fran

I'm with vrt ... the Vita Gummies are tasty and they get the job done. The price for 200 at Costco beats any price I have seen thus far. Good luck. ~fran

You look FANTASTIC! Congratulations!

Therapists only delve into things you are willing to talk about. This therapist is not my first. On a side note, all therapist are not good therapist, so don't give it a thought if you are not a good match with the first one you choose. Just move to the next one, you'll find the right one for you. I trust my therapist, but I will honestly say that she does not know absolutely EVERYTHING about my past. And, the truth is, she doesn't have to in order to help me with my food issues. That's because the things I have done in my life that I might be most ashamed of, are related to the simple things that I have done that effect my relationship with food. When she helps me connect the dots on the simple things, I can recognize for myself how the dots connected with the things that I feel shame over. Maybe one day she and I will talk about those things, maybe we won't... doesn't matter as long as "I" come to grips with the "secret" to my overeating. ~Fran

LOL!Funny you should ask. I just returned home from a great walk at the Marina and a visit to my therapist (her office is in the Marina). I started seeing my therapist (an obesity specialist) 8 months before my surgery. I knew long before I got my lap band that I am an emotional eater, so I wanted to be sure that I would be able to deal with my food issues, that had nothing to do with physical hunger, once I had the band. I continue to see my therapist because, as you will read here, there is no "band around your brain". LOL The band provides me with restriction and a cessation of physical hunger (I was rarely physically hungry even before banding). Therapy gives me the tools I need to recognize head hunger and deal with it in the moment. All the best to you on your journey. ~fran

Hi Awright, I am thankful and happy to report that I haven't had any real complications. I haven't seen my surgeon since I reached my "sweet spot" about a year ago. I will send you a private message with my story. Too long to bore everyone else. ~Fran

Thanks so much for your response. I totally "get it". I live in CA where EVERYONE is expected to be "green and lean". Me, not so much -- to the point that I needed lap band surgery. LOL I too am a Christian and I definitely believe that "through Christ all things are possible" and I believe that Christ made it possible for me to have this surgery and through this surgery I have seen the promises of Psalm 103, which I used to read every morning before work for about a year in 2001.Only recently has it occurred to me that my "youth has been renewed like the eagles". I also agree with your perspective that God puts doctors in place. I wish you the best, whether you choose to go ahead with the surgery or not. ~Fran

Welcome to LBT! There's a lot of good info (and some not so good too) on this forum. You can ask questions about absolutely anything. Again, welcome. ~fran

I walk for exercise as well. I started out by parking far away from my destination, then I went to the park and walked the track. I started on the track at one mile. I now walk 2.5 miles every morning before work and 3 miles on Saturday and Sunday at the Marina -- it's soooo beautiful when I finally make it to the Water. I do a power walk through the week, starting moderate and building to almost a jog (can't run due to back surgery in 2004). Several weeks ago I added a 2 mile walk during my lunch hour and tried to add a mile after work as well. My feet went CRAZY! They hurt soooo bad. I went to the podiatrist and he gave me orthotics. Eventually I will have them made to order ... I think. I am not sure I will because I have been having more trouble with my feet lately (not to mention my back, but that's another story for another time -- I am now in physical therapy). Back to the feet. When my feet became very sore I started soaking them every night before bed. I soaked them in RiteAid/CVS/Walgreens Foot Soap (whichever is on sale). It helps a lot. I have been having problems with my feet again lately, but I refuse to let anything get in the way of my walking. I will see the podiatrist again soon and the physical therapist and ortho doc next week. One of my toes has been numb for a week! Congratulations on your commitment to exercise! Take good care of your feet. Pamper them. Walking is great exercise, especially when you first start out. All the best to you on your journey! ~F

You were very wise to follow their suggestion and see a therapist. I began seeing my therapist 8 months before my surgery. I wanted to be sure I was having the surgery for the right reasons; that I didn't expect a miracle; and that I had the tools needed to achieve my weight loss goals. I continue to see my therapist today. I intentionally sought an obesity specialist. She is wonderful. I am not a binge eater, but I do eat compulsively -- emotionally. My therapist has given me tools to combat my need to eat in order to "make everything all right". My obesity is 90% head hunger. I am not one of the people that is physically hungry often, but my head hunger can strike at any time. I have learned that when I start looking for something to eat and it's not meal time, I need to look at what is happening in my life at that moment. So for me, the band and the restriction I have, has been a God send because I do not have to start from square one everytime my life goes awry (which can happen often with a stressful job and two college age kids at home). Before the band I had specific foods I would eat when under stress. I did not binge eat, but I would eat a pint of a particular ice cream or large slice of cake -- no more than that, but if you do that day after day for a week or so ... you can gain a LOT of weight. The band and my therapist saved my life, and gave me a life at the same time. I agree with the poster that said that this journey is mostly mental. There are those that do not believe in therapy and I say "good for you". If they can do it without help more power to them, but I wouldn't trade my therapist for all the world! Congratulations on your success in conquering binge eating thus far. I know that you will be extremely successful once banded. ~Fran

Ok, I agree with everything Dawn said and will a acouple of things. Take some time and read through this forum, there's a lot of good info here (and some that's not-so-good). You will also learn that the band does not work for everyone. Personally, I find it a God send. But, some people have had problems -- big and small. I didn't get bypass because I have had all the "invasive" surgeries I care to have in my lifetime -- the back surgery in 2004 was enough to make me not want to see a hospital for a long, long time. But, there I was 6 years later, lying on a table waiting to go under for lap band. I am glad I did. I am a slow loser -- something else you should know, some people lose fast, some slow, all depends on how you choose to work your band. The lap band experience is unique to each person for the most part. The similarities have to do with the way the lap band works, and even then it is not the same for ALL. For example, if you are a person that has frequent bouts of physical hunger you are going to expect the band to ease that hunger in order for you to achieve your weight loss goals. But, if you are like me and suffer from head hunger more than physical hunger; you are going to be looking for the restriction that the band can give (there are those that say they never reach restriction, and you won't know if you are one of them until AFTER you have the band surgery). Fortunately I have restriction and it helps me not to overeat, that, along with therapy with an obesity specialist has helped me go from a size 26 to a size 14/16 and I am still losing. YAY Band or bypass, it is a personal choice. Do your research (and you also have firsthand experience from your sister) and decide what is best for you. Now, I have a question: What does being African-American have to do with wheter or not you would have considered WLS? I am African-American and most of the people that I know personally that have had WLS are A-A, I don't get it? A-A's get WLS all the time ... am I missing something? Please don't take my question the wrong way, I really don't get the connection and would be happy to hear your response. Sometimes it's a matter of perspective and maybe I have a different perspective so, know that I respect your opinion either way. Thanks. ~Fran

I tried Zumba, it's great! I walk for my exercise, I was even walking in the rain. I didn't like walking in the rain much so I searched the internet and found some great Zumba routines. I connected my computer to my TV so I would have a big screen (closest to being there I could get LOL) and voila! I was in Zumba Land! It killed my back ... but it was worth it. I thought I was going to have a heart attack... but still it was worth it. Glad you found something that you like, your journey is going to be fantastic! Have fun! ~Fran

My doc told me that I have arthritis in my knees as well. I think it was at 50 lbs lost that I felt a noticeable difference when walking. I now walk 2.5 files every morning before work. I had my first physical therapy appointment last Friday. I have arthritis of the spine (spinal stenosis, also fusion surgery on L3, L4, L5 in 2004), as well as other areas. I take Tylenol arthritis, which is not great, but helps a little with the pain. My back is a lot stronger since I started walking regularly. My knees rarely bother me anymore. Hope yours gets better soon. ~Fran