Phranp

Cleo's Mom, You may have followed the rules ... but your original surgeon DID NOT. He did you a big disservice. The original poster of this thread is not talking about you or others like you. I am really sorry that you went through such a horrible experience and I wish you the best. ~F

My story is about the same: I can lose it ... again and again, just couldn't keep it off. But with my tool (i.e., lapband), when I lose my drive to "eat right" I can get back on track quickly because I have restriction. It is good that you are doing your research. Please keep reading so that you know and understand what the labpand does. It is a "tool" that helps us, we still have to do the work. But you will hear from me, and many others that it is well worth it. Good luck! ~F

Congratulations! It just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it! Keep up the good work! ~F

Congrats Kimmy and everyone else too! So nice to have a noticeable difference. This morning I put on a pair of slacks and a blouse for work ... I have been tired all week and not paying much attention to my attire ... whatever is easy, you know? But when I put these slacks on and headed for the kitchen to make Breakfast I noticed that they were dragging the floor. ??? I'm like what the heck??? Why are my pants so long? I don't remember them being this long before ... finally I took a look in the long mirror and noticed that they were big all over and the blouse too .. duhhhh ... This week I have only been making a cursory look in the mirror before rushing out the door to get my kid to school and me to work. I knew my pants were loose this week but THIS is getting ridiculous -- in the best possible way. YAY! I think a shopping spree is in order!

I agree, but ... I would add one more thing: LEARN ABOUT THE BAND: Understand that it is a "tool", not a magical device (you still have to participate in your weight loss); learn exactly how it works (i.e., without restriction you are the same as you would be without the band); it will not stop you from eating ice cream, Cookies and cake; it will not change you mentally and emotionally (that's part of the work YOU have to do - once you get this under control it will help you work with your band) ... ultimately, you need to read, read, read so you will know what to expect and then act on it. The band is a TOOL and it works if YOU work.

You're right, it is a struggle, especially when you don't have restriction. Sad to say you still have "bandster hell" to look forward to (unless you are one of the rare lucky ones - I wasn't). I would suggest that, if possible, you see an eating disorder therapist to help you sort out why/how you eat. It can be helpful to you while waiting to get to your "sweet spot". Also, a week out from surgery your body is still healing. The reason the docs give us a food plan is so that we don't do damage while healing. Don't beat yourself up. Do take whatever steps necessary to get the help you need to understand and help you eat healthier so that you can reach your goal. This is a great forum. Great suggestion/recommendations for any occasion. LOL Be kind to yourself. ~F

In your initial post you ended with "any ideas?" A myriad of experienced and caring people responded with support, recommendations and sympathy/empathy. You thanked everyone, but you also shot eveything down as not being possible for you. I said to myself "I think this is something he will have to work out on his own, right now it seems he can't hear anything others are saying." So, I decided not to respond until you posted this: "Obesity is a disease and according to research may even be brought on by a virus and it is contagious!!! It is not a habit, not a mental issue, and not cureable and may never be." I imagine you are speaking of the "adenovirus 36" which may actually be rewriting fat cells in children, causing them to gain more weight. I suggest you keep reading because even with the parts that could be valid it still does not apply to EVERYONE that is overweight. Not everyone is overweight because they have "a virus". Seriously? And, if it's so contagious why am I the ONLY "fat" person in my immediate family. Afterall, I shared a bedroom with my sister for many, many years as a child. When she got sick, I got sick (and so did my brother) and vice versa (measles, chicken pox, etc.) and yet today my sister is 5'6" and weighs 124 lbs. Hmmmmm, curiouser and curiouser. But okay, I'll bite, we have a virus and while it is not impossible for us to lose weight it will take work. Still, according to you "You are 100% right that you control what you put in your mouth. My point is you should not have to worry about that..." Seriously? You think that food/weight issues are the only thing that challenge people in life? How about the dyslexic? The person with dyslexia is NEVER, EVER going to see words the way you and I do. No one is going to change the way books are printed to suit them. Yet, they learn to read and write. Is it struggle? YES! But, they know they have this disorder and still they OVERCOME it no matter that they may struggle the rest of their lives. Overcoming their struggle enhances their lives (just as losing weight - no matter the difficulty - improves our health). So, even if I have a "fat" virus that makes losing weight a challenge, I think it is worth it to lose the weight, no matter the struggle. I also have spinal stenosis with NO option for cure. But you know what helps? Strengthening the muscles in my back. You know how I strengthen the muscles in my back? By doing PAINFUL exercises until my back is stronger AND THEN I continue to exercise so that the muscles STAY strong. Who said life had to be easy???? Hell, my back problems are just the tip of the iceberg ... but I won't go into that because IT DOES NOT MATTER. Life goes on and I, for one, am SO glad it does. I am happy and thankful for my life every single day. The good AND the bad. Do I wish I had the same attitude about food that my sister does? Sure. She can forget to eat for an entire day and think nothing of it. But hell I'm almost 55 years old. Where would I be if I had spent my life lamenting the fact that my sister doesn't even think about food while, during periods of my life, I could think of nothing else? If you want a reason to give up on yourself, you're not going to get it on this forum. No matter how much sympathy and/or empathy we may have for your plight, THIS is not the place to go to find people that believe that "all is lost". That's not what we are here for, not this site. WE come here to support each other and to help each other when we are struggling. We never say "okay, you're right, you should just give up". AND, we are NEVER going to believe that obesity is not curable, mostly because ... IT IS curable. So, you can bring every pseudo scientific study under the sun to this forum that you can find, but you will NEVER convince the HUNDREDS (if not thousands) of successful lapbanders that have lost hundreds of pounds, that there is ANYTHING they cannot achieve. Please know that I do not intend to be mean, but you struck a nerve with that comment about it being impossible to cure obesity. Pish-Tosh! LOL I sincerly wish you well and hope you have a happy life.

LOL, okay "outside", what do you mean by your kids got "boo'd" and why do you have to buy more candy so your kids and "boo" other kids???? LOL I've never heard of this, but it sounds fun -- for the kids -- lots of candy to be bought. LOL Please explain. :smile2:

My sister (who has always been thin, 5'6", 124 lbs) brought over a bunch of miniature halloween candy on Sat for the "kids" (they are 20 and 21). All the good stuff: reeses PB cups, almond joy, heath bars, bubble gum, snickers ... Initially I thought, "oh nooooo you didn't!" But, amazingly -- and I don't know whether to credit my band, or healthier eating or what -- but I ate 2, count'em 2 pieces of candy last night and that was it! I don't even know who that person was that could just eat 2 miniature candies and be done!!! I could have brought some to work with me this morning .. .I didn't ... I just ate a piece of fruit!!! OMG! I don't even know who I have become ... BUT I SURE DO LIKE HER! I will not pretend that I don't still enjoy chocolate candy. I don't use "willpower" and deprive myself. But, with the help of the band I am able to eat 2 miniature candies and be satisfied. For me, that is amazing. I am almost 16 months out and I am thankful every day (even on the bad days) that I have my band. I have been slow to get into the groove of healthier eating and consistent exercise, but I never gave up. And I continue to lose weight. Take heart newbies that are being challenged by halloween candy, in a year you may feel very differently about candy -- especially when you get to choose between a chocolate bar or a size 6 or 9 or 12 dress! LOL

You felt restriction after your first fill??? CONGRATULATIONS! I don't think I felt any restriction at all until maybe my 4th or 5th fill. You will be on your way to the sweet spot in no time! But seriously, if you compare yourself to others it is a slippery slope to self-sabotage. Learn everything you can about how this tool works. I have read here that people have been told that having the lapband was "taking the easy way out". Nothing could be further from the truth. It takes work, and your success depends on how much work (i.e., exercise, healthy eating, etc.) you put in. Some of us have physical issues that slow our progress, some have emotional issues (i.e., emotional eating, compulsive eating, sugar addiction, etc.), bottom line is you have to keep working at it. Don't give up. Your doctor has an eating plan for you, figure out how to make it work in your favor. (Unless you are like me - my doc would give me a fill and say "tomorrow eat solid foods, no alcohol, no dessert". LOL Funny, but true.) Take your time, learn what works for you and do it! The band takes time and effort. You can succeed. This forum has a lot of support, take what you can use and leave the rest behind. Oh, one more thing, when I kept gaining and losing the same three pounds ... I STOPPED WEIGHING ALTOGETHER. Now I only weigh at the doc office. I let my clothes do the talking. And, believe or not, they are talking prettly loudly lately. YAY! Don't let things psyche you out. Keep a positive outlook and surround yourself with supportive people. You can do this! All the best to you on your journey. ~Fran

Glad to hear you are up and out. You know my doc has talked about that "strengthening the muscle" thing too. What I want to know is, how long will it take and how much walking do I have to do to get to that point. LOL Yeah, it's hard but I'm going to keep trying. My plan tomorrow morning is to park about a mile from my therapist's office and walk to my session then walk back. Wish me luck! :biggrin:

I totally agree with the previous posters. That gas pain can be a BEAR! I will add one thing, if you are not feeling well enough to return to work you might consider speaking to your doctor about giving you a written medical excuse/letter for a few more days off. Not everyone recovers quickly, so if you need more time and can take it, do so. I had my surgery on Monday and scheduled myself to return to work on Friday for half day. Fortunately, my workload was very light but I will tell you this, I was sooooo glad to get home after working half a day! I spent the weekend resting and felt much better on Monday. If you need more time, if at all possible, take it. Good luck. ~F

Have you considered using the Protein Shots to get more protein? They are 2.9 oz with 25 g. protein. It might help you have more energy and will also keep hunger at bay. You can take them temporarily, until you are able to drink more fluids. Hope it helps. ~Fran

I, like BetsyB, have severe back problems. I had back surgery in 2004 (running is NOT an option for me) and have since been diagnosed with spinal stenosis (arthritis of the spine). My doc says that it is so widespread that surgery is not an option. But, I have had the epidural injections and BetsyB is right, they can help. It's been a while since my last injecttion and I lately suffer from spasms in my legs and pain in my back. The spasms (with the accompanying leg cramps) can come during the day or wake me at night. BUT, and this is a big but (no pun intended, lol), I walk as often as possible because I know that it will help my weight loss AND the less I weigh the better my back feels. Also, the less you weigh the more successful the epidural injections are apt to be. Please know that I understand that the pain you (and I) experience from our back problems can be crippling, but we have to make every effort to keep our bodies moving. My ortho used to tell me that walking was good for my back pain, that it would help it get better. I thought he was crazy because in my mind I couldn't imagine standing when in such pain let alone walking! But, I've decided that if I don't try something different I am going to get the same results -- slow weight loss and still in pain. So, I took an extremely long walk last week and while I did have some pain the next day, and I have had spasms since, I was thrilled to be able to make the walk! And, yeah, I had trouble this week with leg pain and spasms but I have been walking it off. Please know that I would not begin to tell you that I know how much pain you are experiencing. I only know that we have similar ills and want to share some of the ways that I get past my pain. Talk to your ortho about the injections and that Water walking is pretty cool too. I tried it and liked it. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of using the water weights which awoke my spinal stenosis and left me in excruciating shoulder/arm pain :thumbup:, BUT the walking in the water part was a success :thumbup:. I guess what I'm really saying is that I know that it's sometimes difficult to consider doing something that we know is going to cause us pain and discomfort, but we have to continue to look for answers that will help us succeed on our journey to lose the weight. Research your condition beyond what your ortho has told you (if you haven't already), the internet (including this forum) can be a wellspring of information. When we have "special" problems that keep you from doing what everyone else can do, we have to learn to think outside the box. Don't give up, we can do this! All the best to you.

I am sorry to hear that so many of you lived post op nightmares in the days after their surgeries. I hope you all feel better soon. I have been banded well over a year and the only pain I remember is the gas pain that was in my left shoulder. It was awful and no amount of pain meds would make it go away. The heating pad they gave me at the hospital helped best. I did not know it was gas (and the nurse didn't mention that it was gas pain either) until I read about it on this forum. I have a bad back (surgery in 2004) and spinal stenosis so I thought the docs had left me on my side at some point during surgery and that was the source of my pain. Alas, it was just gas. Anyway I did not suffer much after surgery -- I took my pain meds religiously ... LOL That may be why I didn't feel miserable or depressed or anything like that. Now, as for the scars, many of you will see your scars fade over time -- mine will never fade. They protrude and will always protrude because I keloid (overgrowth of granulation tissue). My scars are dark and one is about an 1 1/4 inch -- not pretty. But, I am okay with that because last week when I dropped my car off at the dealership for a detailing I WALKED 2 miles to the beach, sat for a little bit admiring the beautiful day and the incredibly blue ocean and then walked back to the dealership. Before this surgery and weight loss that would have been IMPOSSIBLE for me. With the weight I was carrying my back would have never allowed my legs to carry me on such a journey. So, I will live with the scars forever, I don't mind. Your scars will likely fade with time and I am so happy for you. Be kind to yourself and take your meds -- they should take the edge off ... LOL Barring any complications, it is going to get so much better. As many others have said this particular pain will be a distant memory in the not-to-distant future. Hang in there and please know that the lapband comes with challenges, we have all been there and the people on this forum will help you get through them all. This is a great place for information and understanding. All the best to you on your journey.

So glad to hear that things are going well for you Cathy. After reading the posts here I would not have been surprised if you were afraid to take even a bite of food. LOL Good to know all is well. This is the first time I've seen your post or I would have responded sooner. My doc is very liberal with fills. I had my post op one week after surgery and started getting fills every two weeks after that. My fills were not as big as yours, he started with 1 cc, then 1.5, then another 1.5, etc. I have a 10 cc band. At one point I thought I was at my sweet spot so when I went in for my next fill I asked for less than he intended. It worked out okay. It took a while before I hit my sweet spot, but I have been there a while. I was supposed to go back to the doc about 3 months ago, but ... I really don't need a fill, so I didn't go. My doc was liberal with my fills and I have had no problems with slippage or any other problems with the placement of my band. The one thing I will say is that being so tight so soon you probably should heed what others have said and pay close attention when you are eating. Be sure to chew your food well. I say this because, whether you get to restriction fast or slow, you still have to adjust to new habits with the way we eat food. I wish you continued success on your journey.

True, I hear that walking is the best thing for the gas pains. I, didn't realize it was gas pain until I read about it on this forum, so I suffered for days after surgery. I am sure that your headache makes you want to just cover you head and stay in bed. Are you able to take something for the headache? Are you hydrated? You are early in the healing process so be kind to yourself. Make sure you are getting the nourishment/water you need to help you heal quickly. One day in the not-too-distant future this will be but memory ... and you will have a new body and your only worry will be how to get the bags of new clothes into the house without your husband seeing! LOL! Hope you feel better soon.

It will get better! :thumbup: In the interim, are you getting enough Protein? I found that protein helped me get through my toughest days. Also stay hydrated. Seems kind of early for "Bandster Hell" but apparently you are there. Don't give up, make sure you take your Vitamins, drink plenty of Water and protein. You are so fortunate to have a husband that will be going through this with you. You will have a support group right in your house! I can hardly wait until I read your future post saying that you have lost 50+ lbs! All the best to you on your journey!

I am lactose intolerant and cannot get food down in the morning (even eggs :drool:). I buy the Muscle Milk (Chocolate) powdered protein, 26 grams per scoop. I use 8 oz water and 8 oz Silk soy milk. Initially I used all soy milk, but when I wanted to cut calories I started mixing with water. Holds me till lunch when I can tolerate food. I love the taste too.

When I woke up from anesthesia, I was hungry, I didn't feel sick I wasnt sure if that was normal... You are soooo lucky. When I woke up from surgery all I could think about was the stabbing gas pain in my left shoulder. You got off easy! LOL I am having a hard time differentiating between head hunger and real stomach hunger. I am trying to sit with the feeling but when a person has eaten to "complete fullness" it is hard. All of us bandsters know how hard it is to make the changes necessary to reach our goal. Some are better at overcoming our old habits than others. I would suggest that you keep trying and pay attention to what works for you. Don't compare yourself to others and don't sabotage yourself by beating yourself up when you don't "measure up." Remember that each of us is on our own personal journey. You will lose as fast - or as slow - as you are willing or able to. It does require sacrifice and perseverance. "Bandster Hell" is just down the road for you. Read up on it on this forum so you know what it is when it happens and understand that it is a "temporary state". You will get better with the "head hunger" and "stomach hunger" the closer you get to your sweet spot. Please know that getting there can take several months and many fills. (But that is not written in stone - it depends on the person and how liberal their doc is with fills. You just might be one of the lucky ones.) I am bombarded with sights when I go to the store, tv ads about food everything seems amplified!!! How about you fight fire with fire and start doing some reading about changing your diet, achieving better health, exercise and overcoming emotional eating. If you can be effected by the sights you see at the store and tv ads, why can't you be effected by things that will make your lapband journey successful? YOU have the power to change what you see most often. Bet there are no ads for Cookies and cakes in an exercise video. Did you know that if you travel around the outer rim of a grocery store you will find that, that's where the vegetables and grains and dairy and Proteins are? Take a look. The cookies and sweet cereals and stuff like that are almost always together. You don't HAVE to go down that aisle at all. YOU ARE IN CONTROL - accept it. This band is a "tool" that can change your life IF you are willing to do your part. I have never realized how much my life revolves around food! I cant keep my mind off it. I bought a small note book to log what I eat. I am still recovering but I feel like I am "when can I eat again?" Look at you! You are learning already. YAY! That feeling of "when can I eat again" will subside when you are thinking about food differently. That will take time but you can get there. While you are logging what you eat try writing what you are feeling as well. After some time has passed go back and read how you were feeling when you ate a particular food and see if you still feel that way. Make note of the changes you are seeing in yourself. Take a risk every now and again and don't give in to the urge to eat something that you KNOW won't get you to your goal. Write about how you are feeling. And, most important, when you don't give in to the urge for something unhealthy, give yourself credit for changing and recognize that YOU have the power to change yourself. You can do this! And the band can be a great tool to get you there. And finally, three things: 1. Remember, the lapband is a "tool" not a miracle worker. You get out of it what you are willing to put in. 2. Don't beat yourself up. When you falter, start again. As you get restriction you will have fewer slips. 3. Read this forum, it is full of useful information and great people. Use this forum to your advantage. Take what you can use and leave the rest behind. (That includes my post too! LOL) All the best to you on your journey. Keep the faith!

4them, I read about your complications here in a previous post, and I have to say you are AMAZING. After all you've been through you don't sound the least bit bitter or angry AND you are still optimstic about losing the weight when you are completely healed! KUDOS to you. You have all my good wishes for a speedy and complete recovery. I'll bet you will have an terrific journey once your band is working properly. All the best to you on your journey.

The most important thing I have learned about the band (mostly by reading it here on this forum again and again and again) is that the lapband is a TOOL. It does not work miracles and it only works if you work it. So, should you decide to get the band, help your family understand that it is a TOOL and that it works in conjunction with behavior changes that are separate and apart from the band. I am not only a compulsive eater, but I am also a sweet eater. THE BAND STILL WORKS FOR ME. It works because I know that being a compulsive eater isn't like being 5'8" tall -- that's something that I cannot change. Being a compulsive eater IS something that I can and have changed. I see a therapist that specializes in eating/food disorders. She has helped tremendously. I have learned to make CHOICES. And, any compulsive eater that can wait 2 hours to act compulsively isn't compulsive. LOL Initially, you do diet and exercise because you have to in order to lose the weight. Eventually it becomes a lifestyle change. You change the way you have always done things because you learn that by doing so you get the desired effect. I never feel like I am dieting when I eat. But I eat sooooo much less than I ever did in my life ... AND I AM SATISFIED. That's how this TOOL works. It helps you to get to where you want to be and stay there. Best thing I ever did for myself; wish I had done it sooner! Read, read, read this forum. You will get every possible opinion and experience, then DECIDE WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU. All the best to you on your journey. ~F

BetsyB, in one post you say "Fiber One" in another you say "Fiber Sure". I only find the General Mills Fiber One ... should I be looking for "Fiber Sure" instead? I need some fiber ... really. lol Thanks much.

FANTASTIC! Been there, done that -- LOVED IT!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!

We can't change anyone else, but the minute we change ourselves, our behaviors, our attitude, etc. -- LOOKOUT cuz everything around us starts changing! People expect us to stay in the little box they have put us in. Often, when we are overweight, there are people in our lives that feel secure because they feel our weight makes them superior, or at the very least equal. Problem is, that's THEIR issue, we have nothing to do with it. So when we change our lives and get healthy, lose weight - all their insecurities come to the surface. Oh well, so be it. Your true friends will always be there; and, this friend that you're having the problem with may actually come to her senses and realize that it's not about you, it's about her. She may apologize to you. Time will tell. As for your husband, I am so sorry to hear that this is happening. I hope that, if it is your desire to repair your marriage, you and your husband can get whatever help you need to get it done. I wish you well, whatever you decide to do. All the best to you on your journey.