Hello! This is my first time on this site . I am a 26 year old mother of three and a military wife. I have always been a giver and always put everyone else first. I am trying to change that now. It's time that I start taking care of myself and I know this, it's just really hard for me to do. It is really hard for me to admit that I weigh 235 lbs. I hate the way that I look and feel horrible about myself. My husband is a fitness leader at work and I am embarassed for people from his work to see me. I am a nurse and am embarassed b/c I am totally a hypacrite to tell people to live a healthy lifestyle. I know something needs to be done and I am considering the lap band. My insurance has approved the consultation, all thats left for me to do is to make the appointment. One of the biggest fears I have is for me to have a horrific complication and not making it through the surgery. What would my children do? My husband? A horrible thing to think about! I know that lap band is 10X safer than gastric bypass but I am still afraid. I'm also afraid of failing. What if I go through all of this for nothing? I have never been honest about my weight and this is very hard for me to write to complete strangers but I know that I need support and I feel that I am in the right place. I need a place that I can write and be completely honest with myself and others, a place that I don't have to hide.