A New Woman

Bandster Hell is unfortunately a necessary evil because our bodies need time to heal. Remember "this too shall pass" and you will get through it. I just have to caution you, though, to not expect it to be completely resolved with one fill. It sometimes takes several fills before you really feel you are where you're supposed to be. And sometimes you get your fill and you feel great restriction for 2 weeks and then it suddenly feels like you're back in bandster hell. But, again, with time and patience you will get there. It is a slow process, but like you said, a learning process. It's taken me 15 months to lose 62 lbs but I am in such a better place mentally and physically. A year from now you'll look back and see how far you've come. My lifestyle has improve 100% and I'm so thankful for this wonderful tool. Best of luck to you on your journey. Oh, one more thing... if you continue to tell yourself you're going to fail you are going to get exactly what you expect. I tell myself every day that I will reach my goal of 98 lbs and I'm getting there slowly but surely. You CAN and you WILL do this!

BTW, I'm not saying I agree that the bypass is a better solution. It's a personal choice. Just like we make a personal choice, I think surgeon's have a personal preference too. Some are pro-band and other's pro-bypass. My surgeon just happens to be pro-bypass and I found that out after the fact. Find a pro-band surgeon.

I don't necessarily buy into the surgeon is just being "hard" on you theory and this is why. When I went for my one year check up my surgeon was disappointed in my 50 lb weight loss and made the comment "but YOU wanted the band. I told you bypass is faster." I was very upset and frustrated by his behavior and felt like he did not consider me a success and that I was lowering his statistics. I posted about it on here and several folks told me to find another, more band-friendly surgeon. Well, guess what? In the Detroit area, none of the surgeons I called will take another surgeon's patients unless that surgeon moves out of the area or stops practicing bariatrics. They all said, you're supposed to research your surgeon before you have the surgery to make sure you have a good fit. When I went back to see my surgeon and told him how I felt we had a very good talk and he apologized for his approach, but he did confirm to me that he is not doing many band surgeries as he said the success rate is not that of bypass. He said there was a study by a bunch of doctors in Michigan to confirm this. So while I am very, very happy I had the band and I have lost 50% of my excess weight, make sure you find a surgeon that is also going to be there for you and not remind you that you could have done it differently. The Lap Band is a slow weight loss, they did tell me that in the beginning. But as long as you are okay with that (which I was), please be sure you have a surgeon that supports your decision. I found it's not so easy to switch surgeons after the fact. Best of luck to you. The band is a beautiful tool!

Hello everyone. I have been banded for 14 months. My weight loss has slowed considerably. Due to acid reflux I had to have some fluid removed. The acid reflux has improved and I only experience it now once in a while. However, I've noticed the last few weeks that when I eat I don't really experience any pain, but about a 1/2 hour to an hour after I'm done eating I start to experience pain and discomfort. It seems like as the food is passing through from the top to the bottom that it hurts. Even soft types of food cause this discomfort so I'm not sure it's a lack of chewing on my part. It's starting to concern me. I'm going to do liquids and puddings/yogurts for a few days to see if that calms things down. It's almost like the tightened part of my stomach is irritated. Has anyone else experienced this problem? If so, what did you do?

Okay, so I have two topics here to discuss and they kind of go hand in hand. First a little background on my story. I was banded on 3/12/09. I am 5'2" and started my journey at 233 lbs (BMI 42). This morning my scale (naked and on an empty stomach) said 178.00 so that gives me a weight loss of 55 lbs in a year. I am thrilled with my weight loss because I know that I would have surely gained in that year and I have not consistently lost over a years period like that without losing/gaining/losing/gaining. I went for a one year visit with my surgeon on Monday 3/15. In preparation of my visit he wanted me to have an upper GI which I did. He wanted to check the placement of my band and the restriction. He was getting a little concerned about how tight my band was (9 cc's) before he would ever consider any more fills. Makes sense to me. So I go for my appointment and I tell the nurse that basically my band is fickle. Some days I feel like I am exactly where I need to be and other days I feel like I could be just a little tighter as my portions sometimes are a little bigger than I'd like. Not an every day thing but happens on occasion. I was in no way begging for a fill. So surgeon comes to the door and motions me out of the office (no hello BTW) to follow him. I follow him to a computer screen where he shows me the my upper GI and shows how well my band is doing, says hes happy with the placement, all looks good and that I have some good restriction. I'm still okay with that because I wasn't 100% convinced I needed adjusted. I really just wanted to talk it out and find out where I should be, but I think he automatically was on the defensive that I was going to insist on a fill. As we are walking back to the room he says to me "you smoke?" To which I reply "No." He then says "well, I smell smoke, does someone in your house smoke? So I kind of shrug my shoulders because I'm confused by this and say, "Well, I don't smoke but yes, my husband is a smoker." I'm confused though because I came from work to the appt. He then goes on to say "Well, the one thing I can smell is smoke and you smell like smoke." So I again say, "well, I've never been a smoker, in fact I lost my mother to COPD, and my sister and father to lung cancer. I'm not a smoker." Well the subject finally drops but what gets in my craw is that I can tell he still doesn't believe me. First thing that bothered me about the appt. Then we move on to talking about my diet, what I've been eating, he tells me my choice for the afternoon lunch was horrible (3 chicken fingers and some mashed potatoes). Which, okay, I can agree with that. But I remind him of the other meals that were good choices. He then proceeds to remind me that "you would have done better with bypass but YOU wanted the band". So I tell him that I'm very happy with the band and I say "You know Dr. X, I've lost over 50 lbs (it was 52 at his office) in the last year, don't you think that's good. So he tells me that it's okay but not exceptional and how only 5% of his patients are bands now the rest bypass. The thing that really got me was that I could tell that I am a disappointment to my surgeon. I think he only views me as bringing his statistics down which makes me really upset because I think I should be applauded for what I have accomplished and not made to feel bad. He ended up giving me a .5 cc fill (which I told him I was surprised he was giving me that much) and he had me drink some Water (first time ever) before I left the office. I think he thinks I'm insistant on fills (only one visit was I ever insistent) because I don't come in and say I'm at my sweet spot. I never throw up, rarely feel stuck and at times still felt my portions were too large. But I guess because I wasn't telling him what he wanted to hear, I'm not successful and he's taking it personally or something. The whole experience was so negative I just don't know what to make of it. If your surgeon acted this way, how would you feel? Second question, since he told me that he's only doing minimal bands now, and said the stats for the whole state of Michigan for bands were "lousy", are we becoming a dying breed to bypass?

First of all, everyone on here has had one intention and one intention only -- to support me. For that I say THANK YOU SO MUCH! Your posts did help encourage me to resolve this with my surgeon. I do not personally think he is an ass or any of the other words he's been called because I think that we mis-understood each other. Even so, I have not taken any offense to any of the things that have been said about my surgeon by posters because they were said out of anger and support for me. Sometimes people just need to vent and if it helped support what I was going through I'm okay with that. And you guys all validated me so much! Again, thank you. I also appreciate Spartan's feedback because she did have some good points. So if it is my surgeon and I am the original poster, and I'm okay with everyone on here, let's let this drop. I can't thank you all enough for your support. I really needed it and you came through big time.

Un-Freakin-Believable!!! Fan-frickin-tastic! Aaaamazing! There aren't enough words to shout out! What an inspiration you are! You must feel wonderful. Buy yourself a diamond ring or some other non-food treat and pat yourself on the back. Stay on the board and keep people motivated.

**UPDATE** I had to go back to the surgeon today to get a slight unfill because of reflux I've been having since last week. I told my doctor that I thought we had to have a discussion because I thought we didn't understand each other. I told him exactly how I felt about him not thinking I was successful, about not believing me about being a non-smoker, etc. It ended up that we had a very nice chat and he admitted that he is not all that gung-ho about the band as he was when he initially started to do them because since people can cheat and eat around the band they are not as successful. He apologized about the smoking thing and also said that he does not consider me not-successful and if I'm happy with my results he's happy. So although I'm not happy to have experienced the reflux, I am very glad we had the discussion. I feel much better.

I totally agree. If it serves the greater good I have no probelm with paying a little more. My 24 year old daughter has Type 1 diabetes. She is an RN and a working person. However, if she were to lose her job today (rather yesterday) she would have been denied health insurance because of her pre-existing condition. She would die in 1-2 days without insulin. I can sleep better at night knowing that should she ever need it, health care will be there for her and all the others like her.

Woo hoo! Love it, absolutely love it!

Thanks for your reply. In past visits he was not this negative. Did he ask if I was happy with the results? No. But when I sensed that he was not happy with my results, I told him I was happy and proud and came right out and said "Dr X, I have lost a little over 50 lbs in a year. Isn't that good?" To which he replied "good but not exceptional." This is what I plan to do. The nurse that first saw me was a new nurse. His regular bariatric nurse (whose also a bariatric bypass person) and has been with him for a long time was on vacation. She comes back in a week. I am going to call her and talk to her and let her know how I felt and go from there.

Thank you for your very thought provoking post. I can tell you put a lot of thought and effort into your response. I don't necessarily think my surgeon is a bad surgeon. That's why I haven't jumped on the bandwagon yet to get a new surgeon. Until this last visit, I didn't see him in this light before. And I've really been trying to think of why he was so negative. As I've said before, I think he feels that I push too hard for fills and that he was reluctant to give me a fill and I didn't push for it at all. I was really, truly on the fence as to whether or not I needed one. And I was disappointed in myself in the past for not losing more. But at this particular visit I was quite proud that in a year I lost over 50 lbs. The average weight loss advertised for the bands is 1-2 lbs. a week, so I do fall in the average -- the low end of the average but still average. So I thought he would at least feel I was successful. I don't necessarily think that bypass was a better surgery for me with the exception that the weight loss would have been faster. I chose the band because I wanted a surgery that was reversible if I had complications and I knew it was a slower a weight loss and that it was a tool to use. Do I occasionally get frustrated myself with the rate that I lose? Sure, but I think most of us do at some time or another. I truly, truly think that this particular surgeon just prefers the bypass based on the results over the band and that he does view it as a personal failure. Especially since he told me that he only does 5% of his patients now as band. He obviously encourages bypass over band. As far as my exercise goes, I didn't mean to imply I do all those things every day. After my surgery I started walking and I walked at least 5 times a week 2 miles. In Sept I joined a kickboxing class 2 times a week and I would supplement that with still doing my walking on nice days until November. I then started doing a Kathy Smith kickboxing tape when the weather turned and did that to supplement my classes. In January I joined both a Zumba (2x's a week) and kickboxing (down to 1x a week) and then was doing the Wii I got for Christmas on other days. About a month ago my sciatic nerve started to bother me so I have reduced my workouts but until the last month I consistently exercised at least 5 days a week, and I told the doc that my exercise declined due to my sciatic (which I now have a Physical Therapy appt scheduled soon to start to correct). Exercise, combined with what I thought were still too large portions, yes, at times I felt I needed a fill and maybe that rubbed him the wrong way. I do think that he was having a very bad day because when he didn't believe me about not smoking it just went downhill from there. And it made me feel like he didn't believe me about anything else I was telling him either. I would have loved if he would have said "you can do this Lisa, you're doing great. If you lose the next 40 lbs in the year, that'll be great." Anything to support me and make me feel like I'm a success. But in all honesty, I didn't hire a cheerleader, I hired a surgeon and most doctors just don't have the bed-side manner we crave. Today, I saw a co-worker who has been off work for serious health reasons for 5 months. The first thing she said when she saw me was "You look GREAT!" She wanted to talk about me and not about her own health, which I was thrilled with how good she looked. She validated my success so much. Nearly every day someone says something to me about my weight loss. So I have to remember that my battery gets charged elsewhere and not look to him to recharge it. Maybe I just expected too much. I do appreciate you and everyone on here for your honesty and for your support and helping me feel like a success. I needed that stroking and I think everyone expressed anger at my surgeon out of care for me so I really feel the love on this post from everyone. Thank you.

Thanks everyone for the support. You guys all ROCK! To answer someone's question, yes, exercise has been a big part of my post-band life. And to answer someone else's question, I have gone from a size 20 pants / 2x tops to a loose size 14 pants / Large tops. I was so excited recently when I went to Dress Barn and got to shop on the skinny girl's side of the store! I even told the surgeon that day what my clothes sizes have changed. I've been really trying to think of my part in this relationship with the doctor and I think he thinks I'm disappointed in my results. One visit last fall I was kind of disappointed and insistent on a fill. So I don't know if that was what he was expecting and he was immediately on the defensive. But he is very clear that he prefers the results of bypass over band. I think I really wanted an "atta girl" or pat on the back because I was pretty proud of myself and I guess that's really not his job. He said that when I had my band done last year 25% of his patients were band and now he's getting away from them and only doing 5% of band's now. So it's obvious he's not happy with the results and I think he takes it personally too. He said he doesn't need to see me for 6 months and I'll wait until then unless I have any problems and decide then how things are going to go from here on out. I think what really irks me is that he didn't believe me about not smoking. You have to have trust in your doctor and vice versa in the patient and he obviously didn't believe me. So I think he doesn't believe me about my portions, my food choices, my exercising. Any one who knows me knows I can have my bad side, I can be a bitch along with the rest of them if I'm pushed, but the one thing I'm not is a liar. If he wants to call me out about food choices that might be bad, I'm okay with that. That's his job and that's what I expect of him. But don't call me out on something that isn't true and then not believe me. Thanks again everyone. I know my posts have been quite long. I appreciate you letting me vent and also validating my feelings.

Yes, I did the psych eval and saw a nut before and in the beginning after being banded. I am not 100% on my food choices. Sometimes I'm excellent; sometimes not. But I am well aware of the choices I make when I eat and am accountable to my choices. I do exercise regularly too. I do zumba, kickboxing, walk at least 2 miles and do my Wii. I have made so many positive lifestyle changes over the last year and I 100% follow the band rules about eating/drinking, etc. What I think is odd with his attitude was initially I was told it would probably take me about a year and a half to reach my goal. They actually considered me "skinny" compared to other patients since I "only" had to lose 100 lbs. so I was told it might not be as fast for me. My bariatric nurse often says "it's a marathon, not a sprint." So why in the world would my surgeon make me feel like I'm a failure? I truly think it's all about his "stats" and I'm bringing down his success rate. He told me to come back in 6 months and I tried to get some positive encouragement out of him when I was leaving and I said "well, maybe by then we can start talking about a tummy tuck" and he basically said in a derisive voice, "well you have to lose another 50 lbs." as if it wasn't even a goal to shoot for in the next 6 months. It was just plain weird. I was the last patient of th day, I think. I think he was in a "mood" and I got all his frustrations.

I tend to graze if I'm bored. Looks like you are in NY and are probably snowed in most of the time like I am here in Michigan. I seriously think that part of our need to graze this time of year comes from our bodies needing to store fuel from millions of years of evolving. I think the best advise I can give you is to stay busy. When my hands are busy doing something (if I can't exercise) then my head starts to think of food. I think once the weather improves you will find your motivation again. Hang tight and don't be too hard on yourself. You recognize your habits and that's the first step to changing them. Best of luck! Lisa

Time is your friend with the lap band. It may not seem like it at the moment but in time the pounds will start to come off. This is very typical after surgery. Some people even gain during this time. Don't get discouraged. It may take 2 to 3 fills before you really start to see the pounds come off consistently. Just keep doing what your doctor says. I think that is a great idea by your NUT to stay off the scale. I, for one, become obsessed with the scale and it plays terrible mind games with me. If I want to eat I can use the scale to influence me either way. If I'm down I think "okay, I can slide a little, I have room." If I'm up I can think "screw it, I'll eat what I want." The less I weigh myself the better, but I still have a hard time resisting that damn scale. Funny thing is this wasn't the case when I wasn't dieting (or banded). I wasn't in any rush to weigh myself but we want instant results when we go through this. My bariatric nurse tells me all the time "this is a marathon, not a sprint to the finish line" and she is 100% right.

Hi... March 12th will be my one year bandaversary. My scale today says I've lost 55 lbs. I had hoped to lose 2 lbs a week when I started this journey because I would be at my goal right now, but I am so happy with the 55 that I have lost and know that I would not have been able to do this without my band. I have an appointment with my surgeron on 3/15 for my 1 year check-up and he wanted me to have an upper GI before my next appointment just to check my band placement. I'm curious about what info the test will give him. I know that it would show if my band slipped (it hasn't). But does it also meausre the amount of restriction you have? I currently have 8.5 cc's in my 10 cc band and I know they are relunctant to tighten me any more. As we all know, our bands are fickle. Some days I feel I'm right where I should be and other days I can eat way more than I think I should. I've never had a problem with drinking liquids and I rarely ever throw up (rice is about the only thing that bothers my band). So does anyone know if the Upper GI will measure how easily the barium goes through the band and if that is proper restriction? I, of course, was watching on the screen and the barium seemed to go through quite easily so I don't know what to make of all this. Your thoughts are appreciated.

Thanks Linda! I appreciate your comments.

A great and informative site Gloria. Congratulations on finding the courage to help others. I have added your site to my favorites.

You must be a Michigander if you say "pop" or maybe Ohio? I'm from Michigan and gave up pop 2 weeks before my surgery last March. I'm going one year without it this month with the exception of Christmas time. I thought I could treat myself to some diet Ginger Ale. I won't make that mistake again. I had horrible pains for several days and had to go back on to liquids to settle my stomach down. Not worth the price to me and I was a diet pepsi freak pre-surgery. The temptation will pass if you don't give in to it. Or if you're like me and just have to find out, you'll find out the hard way. I have a lot of fluid in my band so maybe it depends on how tight you are. I think the gas got trapped in the stomach below the band and it was painful. Bottomline, I'd follow whatever advise your surgeon gives you.