bella5425

I hate myself right now, I feel like a total failure. I was banded April 22, 2008 and have lost about 170 pounds including my pre-op weight loss but I fell off the wagon during my anniversary for the 4th of July and am having a hell of a time finding my way back. I currently have an enormous bag of skittles by my bed, crunchberries in my kitchen, just garbage and I don't know how to come back. I am extremely all or nothing, black or white so when I fail, I fail big and when I'm on, I'm on big. I cannot exericse due to a spinal injury, nothing. no water aerobics, walking, nothing. I am on pretty constant bed rest so I feel like food is the only control I have in my life. I feel lost, I can't appreciate what I've lost because I've gained some back in the past few months. I want to get to 165 before I have plastic surgery and weigh maybe 210 now but was at 195 last summer and my highest was close to 400. I hate myself

it will be 2 years for me on april 22nd this year and i have fills every 1-3 months. have lost about 170 pounds. i measure everything, am a vegetarian and do my best but damn my sweet tooth. sometimes it little squares of chocolate w/ nuts so i pair it w/ a protein and sometimes i go all out and eat donuts or pie or whatever. some days i hate myself. i am getting to the point i don't want to go in anymore bc i am embarrassed at the gain. i feel like a failure. my doc says this is normal based on the amt i lost and at the stage i am. he's happy with me but i'm not. the whole point of this for me, was to learn how to deal with stress and i haven't. i quit smoking but i munch, i am in school at 44 yrs old maintaining a 4.0 but i munch on sweets. i even bought hemp hearts which are proven to reduce a person's addiction to sweets and i still have it. ughhh....

Nice to see this thread, I was banded April 22, 2009. I have lost 170 pounds. I had major restorative dental surgery which made me super sick for about 6 months so I did unjury the whole time and that helped. I had a revelation of why I overate, an internal change to match the outside. I am back in college 23 years after the first round and majoring in Psychology with a 4.0. I grew up in a small town in Mississippi and I thought I overate because of a domineering mother, the pre-mature death of my dad when I was 3, a gradmother I was afraid of or the fact that I was adopted and felt very lost. The truth was, I was and am a lesbian and always have been. I always knew it but could never voice it. I grew up in a super religious household and there was no support, no nothing so recently I came out to my entire family, all of my friends of facebook after I chopped about 200 insignificant people that never spoke to me and noone has said anything negative. I feel for the first time that the inside matches the out. I had lost 170 pounds but still looked in the mirror and couldn't see any changes, I was miserable. Once I came clean with my authentic self and didn't worry about the outcome or consequences, I could see the slimness of my face, the gentle curve of my body. I went from a size 30 to a 12/14, I have a great deal of excess skin so I really prefer a 14. I will be having plastic surgery once I get the final 20 pounds off. I have never regretted the band and feel amazing, truly. Thank you for allowing me to share. Peace and Blessings......Katie p.s. this picture is very old, only one month in, I had only lost about 17 pounds here

you will do great! i didn't have to do pre-op, usually if it's not dr required, it's an insurance requirement and i was a self pay. there are no regrets for me w/ the band. i am a little over a year and a half in and have lost 170 pounds, if i can do it, trust me anyone can. good luck to everyone getting ready to get on this adventure!

i haven't posted in a while, i went in for a fill last week and was down almost 10 pounds. i am at 209 now, my highest was 353 and i was at 315.5 on surgery day april 22, 2009. my goal is to get to 160 then stabilize for 3 months then i am going to l.a. to have plastic surgery done by dr drew ordun. i have recently become a vegetarian and have never felt better!

I am interested in trying the supplement Chitosan to help get my cholesterol under control. It works by forming into a gel and when you eat about 50% of the fat you consume sticks to this gel and it's not digestable so it comes out through bowel movements. One of the bonuses is that you can lose a lot of weight but I am wondering if anyone has used it w/ the lapband and whether or not it causes things to get stuck in there b/c it forms into a gel. i asked my md and he said it probably didn't work and to go another route to try and lower my cholesterol but i really want to try this chitosan. anyone familiar w/ it? Pros....Cons? thanks Bella

thank you for your information. i will take it under consideration. i do eat very healthy but cholesterol is found in animal products primarily and i drink a fair amount of milk and eat fish which is why i am having an issue with cholesterol. i cannot exercise right now due to severe spinal trauma and a broken tailbone although i am in physical therapy three times a week. i eat approx. 900 cals a day which is how i have lost 140 pounds in the last year. thank you again for your info but i am eating very healthy and was just considering secondary options. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i have met w/ 2 plastic surgeons so far and was told that once you have stretch marks, the skin will never bounce back or elasticize back. it is damaged muscle at that point. i am going to l.a. in 3 weeks to meet w/ dr drew ordun from the doctors to get my 3rd opinion. my friend works for him and she recommends him. i am not at goal but i am just trying to be prepared. good luck kate

i have to take high doses of motrin and my doc says if you are taking high doses daily to take something like a prevacid or prilosec also. i haven't had any issues

i haven't had a fill since september b/c of all the other issues i had going on but i am down almost 130 pounds. i have 60 more to go until my initial goal but would like to be at 150 which would be 70 pounds but my doc says 160. i am about 5'9.

i am doing better - went to see my surgeon yesterday and he is scheduling me for an upper gi in 2 weeks but he is encouraged. i am not eating the healthiest but i have to eat what will stay down right now, like mashed potatoes, ravioli, etc. with all that i still lost 2 pounds this week and i have a really understanding surgeon. i got in 6 hours for my uterine biopsy. sooo not looking forward to that. i hope it doesnt hurt. hope everyone is doing well!

Definitely re-learning how to eat was a big one for me. I also had some major dental surgery 5 months after my band and that caused some problems for me for a while but overall I have been quite happy, I am down now 130 pounds in 9 months and about 60 pounds from my goal. If you are disciplined and follow your drs. instructions you will be fine. The nausea and vomiting and sliming are a definite possibility but it's not like it is when you are sick say with a stomach virus. When I have thrown up, it's quick and an immediate relief and most always happens because I take too big of a bite. My surgeon gives out these plastic cups for measuring and a tiny little baby fork and you really should take a bite no bigger than your pinky nail and you should chew it several times, that was the biggest change for me - and not drinking with my meal but like anything, it's a learned behavior. Good luck with your surgery! :tongue:

nope it was Hef at Madame Tussaud's wax museum last year in Vegas. It was one month out of my band surgery and I had only lost 20 pounds. I need to update my profile pic on a side note, no vomiting or nausea for 3 days - yaaay! hope everyone has a great weekend!

i never thought about gluten allergies - thanks for mentioning that, i will look into it. yesterday was a good day, no anti nausea meds needed, no vomiting, all my food stayed down. i did see my doc who said they want to do another barium swallow next thursday to make sure there wasn't a slip and if it was, i had to have it repositioned. praying it doesn't come to that.

thank you so much for the concern and compassion. it means alot. they did do round the clock fluids. they were putting anti-nausea meds, antibiotics, electrolytes, and morphine thru the iv round the clock for 4 days. the thing of it is, i was in the e.r. 12 days earlier for the same thing and they rehydrated me and sent me home. i just ate a very lightly scrambled egg and am having some yogurt and not having any problems at all which is a blessing. i live in arizona, i am sure there are other band docs around but it's not the band that's the issue - at least according to the hospital. somehow...somewhere...i picked up a heinous bacterial infection and it has wreaked havoc on my system. i can't even imagine eating not only what i used to eat before band but eating just a proper meal like a meat, a veg and a fruit like i did after the band. i am just so thrilled a scrambled egg is sitting well, i am beside myself, lol. i am wondering if there is a possibility of some issues w/ my uterus that could have caused this nausea. they did a ct scan 2 weeks ago when i was in the e.r. and found some problems in the ovaries and i went to an ob and they found problems in the uterus and they did a test and found that i had a high cancer cell count. i am scheduled for a biopsy next week but the medication they have to put me on for that causes...you guessed it.....severe nausea so they can't do that until my stomach calms down. you guys are so great and i love this forum just so i have the chance to vent w/ my soul sisters and brothers who truly understand what it's like to have this little alien inside of us :biggrin:

they did the barium swallow and everything looked good, i believe there is a cc and a half or less in the band still. i have an appt tomorrow, i may ask him to just take all the fluid out. i'm still losing weight. they released me b/c at the time i had been nausea free for about 16 hrs or so and hadn't vomited for 2 days and was keeping small bits of food down. i got home and made a really tender pot roast in the crock pot, fork tender and took 2 bites and it came up again...violently. i am getting to the point where i am afraid to eat. that is really an unhealthy place for me to be in mentally. i appreciate the support and love. i'll keep everyone posted after my follow up tomorrow.

thanks BG, i am on a couple of anti nausea meds as well as cipro for the infection but they don't know how it started or where it started. since jan. 1st, i have been on - and i'm not exaggerating - an ounce maybe of vitamin water a day and about 3 ounces of chicken broth a day and that's it. i am losing muscle mass at this point and hair. my dr took out 2 cc's to give my stomach a break but i still can't really tolerate much beyond yogurt. thanks for the well wishes and support. i don't regret the band at all, it's not the band even tho that was the 1st place the hospital looked...funny how that is. i'm going to try some pureed carrots tomorrow and maybe some mashed sweet potatoes. my dr told me not to worry about calories at this point b/c i'm so depleted. hoping things get better. my bday is 2/15 and i am really ready to ring in a healthy awesome 43rd year!

congratulations and i wish you the best. dr simpson did my band also, i live in east mesa. he's the best, hopefully we will meet up at a support group sometime. i have 3 close friends and we go to group then we will go to dinner sometimes together and we email every day. keep in touch! katie

i hope you guys will forgive the vent. i am a little discouraged. my highest weight was 350, when i had the band put in - april 22nd, 2009, i was 315.5, i weigh 225 as of this morning and i have no regrets but i have come down w/ some horrible infection and am extremely nauseaus. i am barely able to keep down yogurt in a day, along w/ some vitamin water. i try to eat things like cottage cheese and some pureed veggies but i stay sick pretty much daily. i only have a cc and a half in a 10 cc band and have had an upper gi very recently to make sure the band didn't slip which it hasn't. i was hospitalized over the weekend, pancreas, kidney, gallbladder are all fine. they only say the nausea is due to some mysterious infection. i am making enemies w/ food and am stressed b/c i can go like 14+ hours w/out food and i'm fine. i have to force myself to get yogurt down. psychologically, it's messing w/ my head b/c i've always used food to comfort myself and now i see food as bad and don't want anything to do w/ it. sigh...sorry for the vent. i am so frustrated right now.

i have 1.5 cc out of a 10 cc band and have lost close to 130 pounds. i was banded april 22, 2009. i do either a scrambled egg w/ fresh dill and reduced fat cheese for breakfast along w/ fat free cottage cheese, i do things like chicken or tuna salad for lunch w/ those quaker mini rice cakes (ranch is the bomb) and for dinner i do lemon pepper tilapia w/ baby carrots, spinach or sweet potato rosemary french fries or some type of veg and if i snack i do protein like cottage cheese, string cheese, something along those lines. i also drink a lot of fat free milk.

just checking in, have been really bad nauseous past few weeks. lots going on physically, am down 124 pounds from my highest at 350, weighed in today at 226. having trouble keeping anything down. not pregnant, band hasn't slipped (recent upper gi) have no idea what is going on. hope everyone has a good weekend

i stalled a little at the 8 week mark also then things just settled down and i started losing fast. i am 8 months out and 122 pounds down. look for the nsv's - rings are looser, bras and panties looser. lock that scale up girl. i was an obsessive weigher in the beginning but i had to quit. now i just weigh when i go to support group or to my md's. good luck!

i don't measure. i just eyeball it. it's like 2 scoops of powder and a couple of tablespoons of peanut butter. just enough to make it easy to form little balls. www.unjury.com may have the actual recipe since they sent it to me w/ my order. hope you like them!

i was really craving reeses peanut butter mini cups big time but i found another option. take chocolate unjury protein powder and add it to crunchy reduced fat peanut butter, mix well, form into little balls and freeze. they are just as delicious and way healthier for you. good luck! i am a total snacker by nature, it's a miracle i've lost 122 pounds.

i don't know about other people but i have lost 90 pounds in 8 months and 118 from my highest and that's w/out exercise. i have a severe spinal injury that stops me from working out right now. i'm 42 w/ an underactive thyroid and i'm losing pretty steadily. no regrets on my end. i need to update my profile pic tho - it's one month post surgery and 20 pounds down. i'm a lot smaller now