nolagirl2

I wrote this yesterday when LBT was down: Today I read Augusten Burroughs memoir Dry, which details his struggle with alcoholism. And I couldn't put it down. Even though I wasn't relating to his experiences, there was resonance in me. I'm a food addict. Occasionally, I ignore this fact. But it doesn't go away. For the past month or so, I have been doing whatever I wanted - band or no band. I ate carbs and junk food (even fast food on two separate occasions - both times made me feel like hell). I didn't exercise (except maybe twice in the course of a month). I sat around and read, or watched tv. But I ate bad food, ate too much, ate too often, and didn't move unless I was going to the fridge. So finally, about a week ago, I realized that I needed to stop this. I am only halfway (at most) through this process. I still have a good chunk of weight that I want to lose. So why did I stop trying? In the course of that month, I gained 3 lbs. Luckily, I have since lost those 3 lbs, and 2 more to boot. I started eating only 3 meals a day (with option of 1-2 Snacks if necessary, but I try to avoid them and keep them snack-sized, like 1-2 oz). I am keeping up with my Water (at least a gallon a day). And I have exercised the past three days in a row. My problem is... I try to pretend that I'm not a food addict. I go out with friends and eat what they eat. I buy things that sound delicious from the grocery store, instead of just the food I need. I started eating more soft foods, which go down easier. I stopped weighing myself regularly. And I stopped losing weight. So this is what's difficult. An addict is an addict. They say the first step is to admit you are powerless before your addiction. But how are you supposed to admit you are powerless before food? And am I truly powerless? Haven't I spent the last few months trying to learn how to eat? Even in my monthlong what-have-you, I didn't binge. I ate my Protein first. I didn't eat a whole meal of Pasta and french fries. I didn't make good choices, but I didn't eat the absolute worst things for me. But then again, there were moments. Moments I ate a pastry that I didn't want/need. Moments that I sat there even when I wanted to exercise. Moments that I knew I wasn't hungry, but I continued to eat. And those moments are always there, no matter what I'm doing. Even in the past week, doing as well as I have, I'm still compelled to keep eating, after I finish my meal. A handful of nuts, a bite of cheese. I've started to love chewable Vitamins, because its one more thing I get to eat at the end of two meals per day. So how do I fix this? What do I do? I don't know. So far my only answer is just to do the best I can.

Here's the updated food for today. http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showpost.php?p=285836&postcount=35 It's #35 on this thread. I am committed to not eating anything more today except a SF Jello if I need a snack later. So let her rip. I did do a nice, serious workout. That denise austin dvd definitely gets me sweating. I ordered a bunch of low-carb food on netrition.com - low carb tortillas, instant mashers, pizza crust, chocolate bars, Pasta. i'll let you know how it is when it gets here. anybody else out there?

BTW robn, looks like you kicked butt yesterday. 88 oz of water? Woohoo!! I'm telling you, it's so much easier to just use water bottles and count from those. I like the 24 oz. because they're not too little and not too big. And once you hit 3, you're already over the mark!

i would say i've had the same problems. the lucky thing (for me) is this - i've never lost 76 lbs. before. i've never dieted myself to a normal weight. so even though in my head i fear failure and think i'll stay fat forever, i know i've never come this far before. i only wish i had gotten the band back in high school/first year of college when i was the weight i am now. i find myself so jealous of people who only have a total of 80-100 lbs. to lose. Having 150+ lbs to lose really just maeks me feel like I'll never truly have the body I want. I mean, I know I can get to 180 or so eventually. But the more I think about it, the more I want to be around 150. Yikes.

Thanks robyn i'm working on it. i definitely need to figure out when/how to get a fill, because I would say I can eat about 30 oz. per day.

Today 24 oz Water (24) Breakfast: Fajita burger, 4 oz. Refried Beans, 2 oz. 2% cheese, 2 oz. salsa 24 oz water (48) 24 oz water (72) 24 oz water (96) lunch: About 4 oz. shrimp fajita mix, 1.5 oz black bean chips (probably about 20 g carbs net), 1 oz. sour cream, 1 oz salsa, 2 oz. chunky guacamole (i.e. chopped avocado & veggies, not pureed), and 2-3 oz. queso. --I'm doing the atkins style limit carbs, not fat. I had big breakfast and lunch, so I will probably scale it down for dinner. I am also definitely working out. I'm just trying to figure out what works and doesn't work. btw, all above is homemade, so i know exactly what is in it -- Did 40 minute workout (Denise Austin Cardio Dance & Sculpt - Warm up, cardio, first half of Sculpt/strength, and cooldown) 24 oz water (120) 24 oz water (144) Snack: 1/2 oz. nuts 24 oz water (168) Dinner: Same as lunch Dessert: Low-carb ice cream bar (6g carb) 24 oz water (192) So today is the day I test my limits...

Yesterday: 24 oz Water (24) Breakfast: Fajita Burger, 4 oz. refried Beans, 2 oz. 2% cheese, 2 oz. salsa, 1 oz. mixed nuts. 24 oz water (48) 24 oz water (72) 24 oz water (96) Lunch: Mozzarella cheese (4-6 oz.), 1.5 roma tomatoes, balsamic vinegar, 1 oz. mixed nuts 24 oz water (120) 24 oz water (144) Walk 30 Minutes Dinner: Tuna burger with asian sauce 24 oz water (168) Snack: 2 oz. mixed nuts

have a good walk! good water! goodnight!

Ok did 30 minute dvd workout. Feel better about the ice cream now Also 24 oz. more Water (168 oz. total) PS ROBYN WOOHOO on the -3 lbs! Congrats babe! And wtg ang for losing a lb! And welcome to your collarbones! we're all such big losers :mad:

thanks robyn. i think as soon as i'm done watching this tv show i'll try to work off some of those carbs!

I just use & refill a 24 oz. bottle of water. I start first thing in the morning (after weighing), and make sure I drink at least that much before breakfast. Then an hour after eating, start up again. I drink as much as I can between every meal, then usually 24 oz. after dinner before bed. I just love water and have an oral fixation, so it helps me not overeat if i keep drinking

Ok had some dinner! Tuna burger with asian sauce, 2 oz. cheese

24 oz. water (total 144 oz.)

Another snack: 1 oz. nuts 24 oz. water (total 120 oz.)

I'm open and have had no issues with it. I might not bring it up to someone all the time, because sometimes its annoying and can monopolize a conversation, but I feel like most everyone important to me knows. I choose my choice, and that's the bottom line for me.

Cynthia I am soooooo excited for you! I know you have had a difficult case, but now that you have your tool, you are going to kickass and take names! If you lost 60 lbs. without a band, just imagine what you will be able to do now!!!! 4-6 weeks first fill, sounds about right. I had mine right at 4 weeks, which was right about when I started to get hungry. And starting exercise right away does soooooooo much for healing and for just starting good habits. In sum: You go girl!

1) Lost 75 lbs!!! That's a new one (as of today), and it is the biggest thing in my life right now. 2) Moved to New Orleans. Most fearless thing I've ever done. 3) Lived in NYC for 4 years. 4) Took a second spring break senior year and went to Italy for a week to visit a friend. 5) Had my car, ipod, and sunglasses stolen, then had my computer die two days later. Didn't give up or move home.

Well, ladies, today I indulged. But I don't feel guilty about it. One of my friends here has been out of town a lot, and we made a lunch date today. Here's the rub: 9:30am wake up (like clockwork) Drink 24 oz. water (24 oz. total) Do 20 minute workout Drink 24 oz. water (48 oz. total) 12:30ish-1ish: Eat lunch at my FAVORITE sushi place, ninja. Eat probably 1.5 rolls (12 pieces). Peel off as much rice as I can (probably about 1/2c - 3/4 c - A LOT) Drink about 24 oz. at lunch (72 oz. total) 1:30ish - Ice cream cone, all of it. Single scoop (Flavors: I Scream Fudge and Creole Cream Cheese on a sugar cone). Sugar overload, but totally worth it. 2-5ish - Shop (Best Buy, Target) 5ish (drive home) - Snack on SBDiet Nut mix (cashew, macademia, almond). Probably about 1 oz. Drink 24 oz. water (96 oz. total) For dinner, I am thinking I will do a tuna burger to watch my carbs. I'm still hungry, but I'm going to finish this water and then make dinner. And tonight I WILL do another workout, even if its 10-20minutes. So go ahead, hold me accountable. I ate bad food, but I enjoyed it, I didn't overeat or binge, and I don't feel guilty.

Cynthia woohoo!!! I'm so happy for you that you're banded now. I can't wait to hear the stories of restriction!!!!!

Got up this morning and I am at 258!

Late Night Snack! So Hungry! Really tummy growling. So I had a beef/veggie/cheese/low-fat-sour-cream/asian-seasoning mixture (leftovers). Plus 24 oz. more Water. Now time for bed!

No I should, i just am not motivated at all!!!!!!!!

Robyn My stuff for today is post #5

Wake up 9:15am Drink 24 oz. Water (total 24) 10:45-11:00am/ Meal 1 Tuna burger (3.2 oz), 4 tbsp asian sauce, 2 oz. mixed nuts Drink 24 oz. water (total 48) Drink 24 oz. water w/ 1 crystal light on-the-go (total 72 oz.) 2:25-2:45pm/ Meal 2 Fajita burger (2 oz), 4 tbsp. salsa, 4 oz. refried Beans, 2 oz. 2% cheddar Drink 24 oz. water (total 96 oz.) 5:10-5:20pm/ Snack 1 oz. turkey pepperoni, 1.5 oz. cheese cubes Drink 24 oz. water (total 120 oz.) Drink 24 oz. water (total 144 oz.) 7:35-7:50pm/ Meal 3 Weight Watchers Smart Ones Meatloaf with Mashed Potatoes and Gravy

One thing I'm always good about is Water. Oh and I decided to eat something sweet, and found a small serving of SF Jello. That's hittin the spot.