cramerk

I have no DH to ask, so my only issues will be money. I want SO MUCH to go. I'll have to bunk with Janet, yep Steph I didn't manage to beat the smoking demon. Actually, the doc says that as long as I keep it down to about 6 per day, it isn't a big issue. I'm game for either spring break or June after school. June would be better, money wise. But, right now, count me in! Maybe by then I could wear a swimsuit. Now my only demand is that there are cute, buns of steel, cabana boys. maybe after 15 years I will finally get lucky. Janet, I'd share with you.

Finally home from school at about 7 pm, finally got the biome projects graded whohoooo. talk about a mind drain. Food: breakfast, Protein smoothie; snack 130 cal protein bar; lunch 1/2 c tomato soup; snack 130 cal protein bar; dinner 1/4 c chicken. Need to have less Protein Bars and more solid protein. It doesn't hurt as much, but I can't eat more than 1/4 c at a time. Alex made her famous chicken paprica which is very soft and juicy. I'm also not getting to the veggies, let alone carbs which is ok. So ladies what do I need to change. I probably need a little 'unfill', but it is going to have to wait until after school. Then there is there is a fear that if i get an 'unfill' I will be hungry all the time. Right now I am not really hungry, more head hungry when I am at school. Steph, I'm not bailing yet, but I just can't think about it right now, like you said, I'm in survival mode. Let me get through graduation, and school. I have to deal with my dad's issues, he isn't coming for graduation, mom says he is afraid he will collapse. He isn't getting stronger, the question now: Is it physical? or is it depression? It isn't unusual for heart patients to have bouts of depression. Dad has been on depression meds (as well as mom, me, 2 of my daughters, can we say genetic) for a long time and they have increased the dosage. I am going to have to call the doc and find out what he thinks. Dad is 'going' to physical therapy, but isn't exercising at home. Well best go get something done... check in later, k

Kari, I love the idea of your daughter organizing our trip AND the 'right' after school works for me. If we are talking this year afterschool there is not way I could afford it, but if we are talking next year, I could cut some corners, actually a whole darn highway and find the money to go. I actually, I am trying not to think about how poor I will be after June. With the 'baby' graduating I will have to say goodbye to childsupport which happens to be almost my house payment. Unfortunately I will still have to pay for medical insurance on both girls and that it $600 a month. Hummm...is it possible to work 4 jobs? Karri, I know I am a newbie, but Janet is right, you have to have fuel to work out. I know you are careful about the quality of the food, but less than 1000 isn't going to fuel the exercise beast. Well, best get going, I need to put Molly's kennel together since she can't play with the boys today. Janet you are right, where would we be without our 'babies'.

Enjoy your celebration, Michael and you deserve it!! He'll love the bike, it gives them some independence. naturally we will miss you. Karri, you go girl, work those buns. Steph my fundraising sucks... I haven't even made $100, the reality is that I'm not any good at it, but also right now I feel to overwhelmed to think about it. So I'll loan you my awesome pack. Also if we are going to do a trip this year with the 'banders' I'll have to save mt personal days.

Ruby where are you? Janet is right we haven't heard from you lately and we all know that we post to keep us on the straight and narrow.

Just got home with Miss Molly, she was the last surgery of the day so they didn't get her off the table until about 3:00. Poor little thing is groggy as all get out. Can you believe that some people don't let the vet give their babies pain med!! The vet had me sign extra to give Molly pain meds, would you let your child have surgery without pain meds!! But then we know that I have filled my soon to be empty nest with Molly. I guess I just thing that if you take on a pet, it becomes part of the family. Love me, love my pets. But all went well and she should be up and about by tomorrow afternoon. Well, I think I'll take a nap with molly. See you later.

I may have to break down and buy a wii, you all make it all sound so much fun. I tell myself that no I won't spend the money, because it is better for my to take the puppies for a walk for exercise. But then I get so crazy I don't get anything done. I have decided that a bomb set off in my house would be the best solution. The entire place is a disaster. I spent the last 3 hours dealing with the stacked up mail to find all the bills. I also pay bills,etc. for a couple of teachers that are teaching in China. AND I realized I hadn't sent their tax info in to their CPA, good thing they always get an extension because they are out of the country. But jeez, how could I forget. Sitting here and eating some lunch, refried & cheese. Not bad. Well, I best go farm or something, I'm not in the mood to clean house even though graduation is 1 1/2 weeks away and I will have people all over. I just pray is doesn't rain and we have to move inside. Just what I need, my ex's walking through my house seeing what a dump I live in. Sorry, pity party. Steph go punch the daylights out of the wii bag, hit it a couple of times for me!!

To hell with it being a little thing, it is huge!!! Michael has worked hard to get this far and she can well get her ass in gear and get there. But easy for me to say to your mom, when I can't say it to my own. It hurts... but we still try to get our parents approval. However, we will never get it and we need to stop trying. They can only hurt us if we let them. If she gets drunk and complains to your siblings does it REALLY doesn't hurt us. Yeah right, like I have ever been able to stick up for myself with my mom. And yep, it still hurts and then we blame ourself and then we become codependent. I don't know the answer, however, here is my shoulder, cry on it, I'll wipe your tears and shed some with you. If she chooses to drink, there really isn't anything we can do about it. Hang in there, enjoy Michaels promotion and move on. And while you are moving on, could you drag me along with you.

Oh, Linda that baby girl is just the cutest!! I am looking forward the the grandbabies, but I have to share them with my ex & wife. LET IT GO!! I'm sitting here with my 3 babies, well actually 2 belong to my 2 daughters and the Miss Molly is mine. All 3 of them are giving me the sad puppy dog eyes, literally. They all are on a fast until Molly goes to the vet for surgery. They ARE NOT happy. Jordan has pawed his food bowl all over the kitchen, Molly expressed her displeasure by having an accident on the floor. Went in this morning to finish up my sub notes and to my surprise (not) they forgot to get the sub. Now I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't groom up for writing sub notes. I had to start my class in my sweats, hair up in a clip (not very attractive) AND NO makeup. Fortunately it was my 8th grade math class and they think I'm alright (at least to my face). I guess that is what I get for playing hookie. Breakfast so far... protein smoothie. I am going to pick up the stuff for Steph's chicken salad, sounds extremely yummy. Got an email from the new fill doc, and I will have to go in to officially become his patient. I am hoping to wait until after school's out. If I take another sick day they may just fire me. With the pneumonia I had this year and the OPI work in Helena I have missed more days this year than the last 3 combined. By the way, thank you all for 'listening' to me rattle on about non-lapband topics. You all are my 'family' that I can rattle at and gripe to. I know I am substituting LBT for food, but it has lower calories. Catch you all later, I need to clean the kitchen and find the counters. Then pay some bills, and....

Well, I had real food today, okay partially real food. Breakfast, protiein smoothie, SF jello, 1/3 c yogurt w/ 2tablesoons of granola for lunch. 2 small pieces of jerky for snack, 1/2 c fresh pineapple & 1/4 of a SMALL piece of pizza for dinner. I finally feel full, probably too full. I was so excited to actually eat food that had trouble stopping. I could have been good with 1 piece of jerky and skipped the pizza. Now that food is going down, I need to work on making sure my protein level is higher. I am sure that tomorrow i will have trouble eating. That life, but hey this is the first time I have felt full since before March. You all sleep well. Chat tomorrow,k

Steph, thanks for the recipe, it sound delish. And I know that it is hard for you to not be in the classroom this year. Even though Karri & I grumble we know 'who' we are. You probably feel like you lost your identity when you decided not to teach this year. We are teachers, for the good and the bad. But remember, right now you are teaching the most important people in the world, your kids. Don't they deserve the best? You will ALWAYS be a teacher, you just have selected a more important group to teach! Now here is the really crazy thing, I was really hungry today, so I ate a piece of jerky. Now lately I have been spitting it out after I chew, yeah I know bad habit. But today I decided to do a 'test' swallow. Nothing, no pain. So what gives? I can't eat soupy oatmeal, but I can eat a piece of jerky. I totally planned on making an appointment to get 'unfilled', but now I thinking I need to wait and see what happens in the next few days. You guys talk about things you can eat and things that ALWAYS get stuck. I understand about the chicken being dry, I am going to try some salmon tonight. But now it all just makes me shake my head. We won't talk about last nights dinner...I SO understand how we can get into trouble when food sticks. After little for lunch, PBed most of it back up, I tried all kinds of things for dinner, ended up with...okay you can yell now... cheese garlic toast. Again, if I can't eat a piece of chicken that it smaller than a 1/2 in cube, how can I take a bite of garlic toast and have it go down with no problems. I am playing hookie tomorrow. As I said, Miss Molly has her 'fixed' operation tomorrow, and after all, she's family, right. So I have a 'doctor' appointment tomorrow. Well best go get ready for NCIS, Gibbs could put his shoes under my bed ANY time. I just love salt/pepper hair. Oh, Miss Molly just lost her first tooth. When am I going to get some grandchilren so I don't have to be so obsessed with my puppy. Catch you all later, as Karri said, a stack of papers to grade.k

Oh Steph, dont' forget the sugar free gum!!! I live off the stuff now!

Good morning everyone, I think we just skipped past spring. Last week it was cold, in the low 30's at night and yesterday we hit 90+. So much for yard work. Good job Steph, you made it the 5 days!!!, Enjoy 'chewing'. tell me about the chicken salad. You all have a good day. I need to write sub plans for tomorrow, little Miss Molly get spayed (or neutered, I can never keep it straight) and my girls can't miss school or work. So I'll be taking her in myself. For everything else, my vet comes to the house, she doesn't have an office, but she leases time and equipment from a local vet. This week isn't the best timing, but I don't want to deal with her going into heat, the puppy, not the vet. Yesterday at our staff meeting, our principal said to collect book and finish grades by June 2. Student's don't get out until June 11 and I was planning on teaching until that point. If I was a parent I'd be throwing a fit, if the kids are there until June 11th, shouldn't the time be more than babysitting? Oh well, just had to grumble a little. We have to go back to school on June 12, normally we are done the afternoon of the last day for students, but someone goofed up our PIR days, so we go back on June 12th and have meetings until 2:05. It should be a great time!! I figure I will make an appointment with the fill doc in Kalispell. We won't think about the money right now. From what you all said, I am probably too tight since it hurts to eat. Although there is a perverse side of me that is afraid to get the 'unfill', if it hurts to eat, then it is easier NOT to eat. But then reality smacks me and reminds me that if my calories get to low, I won't loose. Or the otherside,,,I eat way to many 'slider' foods that have higher calories. I think the slider foods are my greater concern. Last night for dinner I made a Lean Cuisine, couldn't eat it although everything was 'mushie' style, but yep I could eat a piece of cheesie herb bread. Where in the heck does that come in. I know so don't slap me. If you take a small enough bit and chew like crazy it disinergrates (sp) and goes down way too easy. Anyway, best get going, I have been getting to work just a few minutes before I am due and that is not the best thing. I like to get there in time to 'mentally' prepare, oh and then there is the biome projects that I still haven't finish grading, but I only have 4 left. We also could look at the foot high stack of math papers that haven't been graded, OR the lesson plans I haven't finished yet. Okay, so I'm slacking.. Chat to you all later, have a great day and enjoy the weather.k

Hello ladies, frustrating day. I emailed the fill guy in kalispell with some questions. He said he can not give me ANY medical advise since I am not his patient...I thought we already covered that. But evidently not. He refered me back to the fill dr. in Great Falls, life sucks and then you die. So I guess I ask you all: I still am not able to eat any solids and very few mushies. I can guzzle liquids like crazy, but nothing else. When I try to eat something more firm it hurts like heck. It feels like the food is moving through the band. If I was tight enough wouldn't the food sit there until it is digested? What am I doing wrong? I take small bites and chew like crazy, but I can only eat about 2 tsp. before it hurts. I can drink protein smoothies just fine, but when I try to eat a mushie before 8pm it hurts. So, I had my 1st fill a week ago,, shouldn't I be moving on? Just go my next years teaching schedule...well, after developing a good math program I am having it taken away. So all that time with the math curriculum didn't count for anything. Instead I get the 'privledge' of teaching 6th grade earth science. One, I am a lousy 6th grade teacher, second, I have NEVER taught earth science. The 'new' 6th grade science teach didn't want any of the lab equipment so he threw it all away. Needless to say, my budget won't change and it doesn't cover the cost of materials for life science now, how am i going to develop a program for a new class. Oh well, I'll end up developing an earth science program and then they will give it to someone else. I have the most seniority in the middle school, I would have at least been asked if I would teach 6th grade. Maybe working at starbucks is an option, don't they give benefits?? So again, I would appreciate your suggestions for food, I'm hungry, but I am afraid to eat anything. Thanks everyone, k

Steph, what you need is a good pair of gloves for the gardeing. I also HATE stuff under my fingernails, but we have these fabulous gloves that still breathe and allow you to 'feel' what you are doing, I'll bring you a pair. Janet, it is so hard when our 'fledglings' leave the nest, even when we think it should have been years ago. My almost 23 year old has decided to go to Spokane or Chicagoo this fall to finish college. She is moving in with her older sister. I have been trying to convince her that Spokane is the better choice. Chicago is 'liight' years away. I know that it is goood for her to go, but I can't seem to picture her on her own. Her main goal is tomove in with her sister, daughter #3. DD #3 lives in Chicago, her husband is in the Navy and they were transfered from Hawaii last year. Unfortunately my DD found out that her husband is cheating on her and will be getting a divorce and DD#4 feels that she need to move in with her for support. Okay, that being said, DD#4 has a learning diability and Vocational Rehab pays for her college, she will lose that if she goes to Chicago. I KNOW it is time for her to 'fledge' and get out there on her own, but Chicago? I'll never be able to afford to go bail her out when needed. But maybe that is why she needs to go. So Janet, I to will be an 'empty nester' this year. We will just need to stick together. On a different note, do you all realize how many muscles we have in our hind end? Saturday I pruned and weeded all day and Sunday I worked at the nursery. My butt mustcles hurt like hect this morning. I guess I used my butt for something other that sitting. I feel like I am moving like an old lady, Okay, I am one, but I hate feeling like one. You all have a great day!! I need to go get ready for the thrillss of 7th graders. We may find out 'what' our next years schedule is today. I am hoping I won't have 5 differrent classes to prep for. You all make good food choices!! We all will succed!! OOOOOOOOOOOOh, DD#4 is going to paint my toe nails this morning. I can't bend over to reach them. k

It bear repeating, THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME GROUP ON LBT! Three weeks until freedom!! And I'm only working 2 days a week at the nursery!! Next weekend is Memorial Day so it is a 3 day weekend!! Then alexa's graduation and I'm taking Friday & Monday off, so that's a 4 day weekend and even though both my ex's will be here for graduation, I can live through that because all my girls will be home together. This will be the first time since my eldest wedding 3 years ago that we will all be together. Well it is bedtime, and the sleeping pills are kicking in so I best go. Love you all, and Steph, I will be there in June!! Karla

Karri, you said everything perfectly!!! I think what we all have to remember...the band is not a fix, it is a tool. We all say it, but we forget to listen. Steph, what I find that really helps is to plan my food for the day. I know you know that, but with the little ones you have, it is easy to get wrapped up with them and then grab something quick. It is the quick grabs the are high in calories. Thank you for still being there there for me. I am home from work, talk about a crazy day. It was one of the first nice weather weekends. I loaded tons, okay probably 20 loads of bark, soil pep, potting mix. My crowning moment was when I loaded a B&B (burlap & ball) spruce tree into a suburban. They weigh about 500 pounds and I have to use the loader without taking out the inside of the vehicle. I found out that the building that housed the quilting shop that I would love to buy is for sale, a renovated church, for $300,000 AND that you can not get a business loan for inventory that can be 'moved' from the location. Thus, not having money to invest, I can't buy the business. In other words, I will have to let this dream go. So I will continue teaching, and maybe I can retire early. Lord willing, I will find something to keep me from getting negative. The kids don't deserve it. Steph, I'll look into how far it is to Whitefish from here. If it is to far, I'll just drive. I need to go find some dinner. It was so crazy at work that I only had time to snarf a quick Atkins bar. How can that go down without any problem, but I can't get a piece of chicken down. I'm tired and cranky. Steph, I really like the Syntrax protein powder, vanilla & chocolate. I've never tried the brand you have. Catch you all later, k

Okay, now that I am done crying, yes Steph I cried, because I feel your hurt, but also because I am scared. Damn I am still crying. Steph, so here's the deal. Today while I am at work you are going to find out where I can board the train close to Missoula and how long it will take me to get to your house. I am coming up as soon as school gets out!! We are going to go do yard work. We are going to buy a butt load of flowers and we are going to plant. Do you have big pots??? If not start looking. Pots take daily care, if you are on the couch they will die, you have to go out there and water, and dead head, fertilize. When you get hungry, go work your pots. How about an herb garden? Fresh herbs to use daily. What about a garden for your little ones. They pick the plants and make it their own. I have to get to work so I better hear from you by the time I get home at about 5 pm. Steph, I love you. Make me proud!!

First Steph...fat is where we are comfortable. It is were our security blanket is. We KNOW how to be fat, and how the world is going to treat us. What we DON't KNOW is how the world is going to treat us when we are thin!! They may find out all our secrets. What is going to be expected of us!! How can I handle those expectations? Okay now the bitchy part. As you said..TOSS IT ALL! Your kids don't need that crap either, do you want them to have the weight issues we have. Notice I said we, because I'm in that boat with you. My two youngest have always been super thin, but now that they are hitting 19 and 23, the are having some weight issues. Nothing big, but since I got rid of the JUNK, they are doing much better AND they say that they feel better to. When they want a treat, I make protein smoothies for us all. NO MORE ICE CREAM. You want ice cream, there are FF fudge bars in the freezer. They naturally have their own pocket money because they work, they feed their junk habit out in the world. The best thing,,,they say how much they look and feel better!!! Although I love the 'how many chins does it take to make you smile',,, ask yourself, Those extra chins may even applaud when you smile (jingling that is), but do your eyes smile also? Stephanie, you are one of the most sexy wemon I have seen, stay that way. Now for the really harsh and tough reality and it is said with true love. YOU are my role model...you are my light at the end of the tunnel, is it a train, is it all just a bad joke, if YOU CAN'T beat fat, how can I? I need you to NOT let me down. I NEED to know that I can beat Doris, I need to know that if Stephanie can do it, so can I. Please say you can beat this, I am counting on you. Do you really think I could have gotten the band with out seeing your success. Remember the pride you showed when you told us at the math meetings how much you had lost. DON'T YOU DARE LET YOURSELF DOWN!! YOU ARE WORTH IT!!

Thanks everyone for your answers, they helped a lot. Today is the first day that I am home all day since my fill, so I am hoping that I will be more relaxed when I eat. I am sure that I am tensing while eating, waiting for the pain. Anyway, you know that I will let you know. Steph, good luck on your speech. I assume that it is for the school's graduation, I missed what it was for. You must feel honored!! and you will kick some major booooooootae.. They will be honored to have YOU!! So lets see, Phyll is off the the high seas, Karri is tramping in the wilds as bear breakfast and the rest of us??? I am going to work on the yard, one of my favorite things. Get the roses pruned and epsoned salted, dig up the DOA's that I never got around to mulching, plant some bulbs, work on my pots...should be relaxing and fun. I did email the lady who owned my favorite local quilt shop about selling. AND the shop is for sale..what is left of the stock and the 'name', and I am waiting to hear if the building is for sale as well. The shop was in a restored church building, complete with tower, thus the name the 'Bell Tower'. I talked to my nursery boss about buying a business in a lousy economy. She said that she bought the nursery during our worst economic slump in recent history, AND that the nursery had been hit by hail that stripped the branches and bark off of a good portion of the trees (we field grow most of our trees). But with hard work she has made it a success. Her advice is to go for it, and offered to work for me during the winter. So folks, I am asking for a huge favor...Please pray about this. Doris does tend to be noisy about things like this..."are you crazy? Are you ready to work 24/7? What are you going to do when it fails? You have NO start up money." I know I need a change, I am becoming a disappointment to myself as a teacher. I just don't have the passion anymore. One thing that I would like to offer at the shop is kid's sewing/crafting classes. These are soon becoming the lost 'arts'. So I am asking for prayer to show me what is the right path. If I believe and 'call it to me' (The Secret) the right path will be shown to me. Please help me find the path. Janet have fun with the trainer, is he a hottie??? I'd train hard for him if he was... Ruby, go shopping, buy the good foods. My kids are nagging me to get busy, I don't know what I will do with them gone next year. Elyse (soon to be 23) is transfering to a college in either Chicago or Spokane, & Alexa (the baby soon to be 19) will be in Missoula at the University. You all have a good day K

Phyll, I'm glad Earl saw the light and packed another bag. Enjoy your trip and stay safe. We will think of you while we are trapped at work and you are on the high seas, getting drinks from cute waiters with teeny tinny umbrellas. Have part of a waffle for me,,,a very small one, I am so craving a waffle with strawberries. I have lots of fruit and veggies that my mouth is watering for. have fun

Tried to eat some dinner, didn't work. I ended up having mushy/soupy tuna. Frustrated. I know, it is still early...ended up crying. Doris is sitting on my shoulder. :grouphug:

Did Stephanie, just make a suggestion....I cruise for the Lucky Sevens???? Ohh, I could get into that. I'd have to save for a year, but I think we could really have a blast. Especially if we have Phyll in charge since she is the world traveler. My only requirement...can we go on a cruise that does NOT allow 7th graders of any gender or species???? Let's see where would we go...Some where that has hot guys with little clothes AND like middle aged women?? Of course we couldn't go until I have found my hip bones. Phyll have a great time and tell Earl he will be buying another suitcase for the trip home. It is Friday and I don't work tomorrow!! Karri, I know I probably missed you, but just in case...enjoy your weekend of wilderness. Personally it isn't the bears that scare me, it is the bugs that suck your blood or crawl in your hair, or even worse...go in your ears. I KNOW there has to be a bug that does that....Yep I am a science teacher and I hate bugs. So here are today's list of questions: Does it quit hurting??? I have no problems with my morning coffee, but anything else... Well that isn't exactly true..after a couple of hours I can drink my protein smoothie. I tried my watery oatmeal first and I could actually hear it gurgling through the band, and yep hurt like heck. Today was the first time I have been starving since Tuesday. I was so hungry, that I had DD bring me pulverized tuna, avocado mushie. Ate it at about 1:00, man it tasted SO good, but it was about a cup. So explain this to me...how can you be so tight in the morning that liquids are tough and 6 hours later you can eat a cup of something. I know I should only be able to eat 1/2 cup. Is it because it is a mushie and that right now that is okay??? I guess I am trying to understand how to work with the band. So when you guys eat your chicken do you feel it stack up? or does it go through? Before the fill, I didn't feel anything as long as I chewed, I guess the food just moved through. If we want the food to stack up, why do we chew it so well? Am I getting pain because food is moving through? I finally got so hungry today that I chewed jerky and spit it out. Okay I'll leave it at that. Karla

I think I am in mourning, just found out my favorite local quilt shop closed. Yep, now you know how long it has been since I had the time to quilt. This is so depressing, but it then raises some interesting questions...Is the business for sale? Could I find the funding to buy it and operate it? Do I have the spunk to make it a go? One of my many dreams for the future include a quilt shop were ladies could come in alone or with their group and get pampered while they quilt. A fire place with comfy chairs for hand work. Gourmet tea & coffee served with dainty cups, delectable snacks. You and/or your group come in and get some quilting done, get away from the world, and NATURALLY spend some money while getting help as needed. Okay, now that is really out there, one must have a dream. One that occupied my brain for many months a few years ago. Okay let it go. So on another note, you all have a great day, it is Friday, whoohoo.

I'm up and can't sleep, so much for the sleeping pills. Steph, be careful, I thought you said you back hurt??? Anyway, I seem to get comfortable in bed even though I'm tired. Just feel achy all over. I am sure it is just a result of stress. Let me just live through tomorrow, I'm going to see if I have to work on Saturday. The water plants came in at work and need planted, but I think the boss had someone else do them. finally took some ibuprophen, so hopefully will get to bed soon,