cramerk

Test run to see if my avatar pic shows up.

Good morning ladies. up early this morning. Trying to get it together enough to go for a bike ride this morning while it is still cool. Drinking my coffee that isn't Cafe Vienna and then to the bike. It hit 95 yesterday and is expected to hit there again today. I love spring, but it only last a couple of weeks this year. I feel REALLY cheated. I'm not overly fond of winter or summer, too hot & too cold. Fall is depressing, everything is dieing. It is just too full of death. I wonder, is there a place to live that is spring all year round? Right around 77 all the time. Candice, 40 degrees celsius is 104 degrees farenhiet. Damn that's hot. I would be sitting in air conditioning swearing at the weather. Montana gets in the 100's during August and I hate it. Unfortunately my house doesn't have central air, so we sit inside sweating or go outside and sweat. Sweating is my least favorite thing to do, right up there with slogging to work when it is 20 below zero. I really need to find a different place to live. Steph is even hotter than I am because she is on the 'flat land', I am at least in some kind of mountain. Speaking of Steph, I called yesterday and left her a message. I haven't heard back. I know she needed to go to Bismark to get an unfill, and that her DH was really missing her with all the traveling she has been doing. I think she was heading to Lincoln after Helena, but I didn't think she was planning on staying. Steph, where are you. I'm headed to a jewelry party tonight at a friends house. We are planning a little post school celebration of drinks on the deck. So I will have to nurse my drink because of the calories. I did find a place that you can order sugar free margarita mix. I'm thinking on ordering some. I'm not a huge drinker, but I would like to know that when I choose an adult beverage I can consume it without ALL the guilt, just some. food plan for today, Protein smoothie, chicken salad, and haven't thought of dinner. I'll check in later, have a good one.

Janet, you are right, i thought the chicken salad would be fine for dinner, yep it didn't fill me. I had a little pork loin left from last night, but after 2 bites, it stuck. Oh well.

Calories today 840, road my bike for 20 minutes, not long, but I needed to clean the house and do some cooking. Dinner didn't really make me full, I had about 3/4 c chicken salad and watermelon. I have some extra calories for later. figure I will have FF fudge bar and some popcorn later. Gave up the Cafe' vienna, I miss it. Tried to call Steph, and left a message so I hope to hear from her. Karri, thanks for the 4th suggestions. I will have to be carefull since I will be at my dad's. We will have to take our own food, mom won't buy anything to eat. Dad pretty much lives off of ice cream and coffee, maybe eggs & bacon.

Morning ladies... Note the new ticker....I broke the 50 mark!!!! This last 5 pounds has been the hardest so far, but I made it. Down to 203!!!!!! So ladies, I have lost 4.5 pounds for the new challenge... Now in regards to the challenge...I know that I have an advantage (if you can call it that) because I have so much more weight to lose. I have no problem making my weight loss more to qualify as the winner. BECAUSE..as I said to Linda when she threw down the weight loss gauntlet...I WILL be enjoying my strawberry margaritta while you all call me from Canada to listen me slurp away. PCGirl, I am a newbie here, I have only been banded since March 31. So I was thinking since our weights are similar, maybe we need some private challenges? You said that you are not losing like you would like, so a couple of questions... based upon what I have learned from these lovely ladies: Are you exercising? Are you tracking your daily foods? Do you need a fill? Are you too full? Are you eating solid protein at each meal? Protein first? PCGIRL...I know that was more than a couple of questions, but these are the self-checks that I have learned from these incredible ladies. Also, being honest with yourself. I have a tendency to eat 'slider' foods because I am a little tight and haven't had a chance to go back for an unfill (unfill Dr. is several hours away). Also, partially from fear that if I get an unfill I will lose control and eat everything in sight. Another important thing is to keep coming back here, it helps to keep the focus. Does any one know where Steph is at???? I am going to call her today and find out what is up. She hasn't posted in days, this is NOT like her. Moving on,

Candice what beautiful pictures!!! I love the 'shrimp in the belly'. Some day one of my 5 DD will have a shrimp of her own. But I can wait, they are busy finding their careers and getting to know their significant others/husbands. I think it is fabulous the young people today are waiting to start their families. Finished the pond at work today, it was blistering hot and in the sun. I didn't even want to eat..What did you hear that? I DIDN'T WANT TO EAT. Now that is a new event. Finally about 2 I had my lowfat cottage cheese and berries, with some slivered almonds. It really didn't want to go down. I think I was probably rushing it because I had so much work to do. So I think I earned my salary today, finished the pond and set up 2 more water features. I moved a ton of rocks. Unfortunately, dropped a 2 person rock on my thumb and swore infront of one of the teenagers who was helping me. The pond has several shelves for water plants, surrounded by rock, and has a rock water fall. The boss seemed please, if she wasn't I would have told her to move the rock herself. My boss has suggested that I open a quilt/nursery. Quilt during the winter and plants during the spring and summer. It's a thought. I am BBQ some ginger pork loin chops later. maybe a little mashed potatoes and watermelon. check in later.

Karri, THANK YOU FOR THE recipes. They all look delish, you are a gormet cook. My idea of cooking is BBQ. I have a fabulous enchelada casserole that I will send you for remake. About the only good thing about it except for the taste is that is has chicken, everything else is fat. Linda, isn't it crazy that our mothers have to 'work' on us. I would love to tell mine to take a hike, but as you said we are all still trying to get their approval. My mom too is obese, except she has never tried to lose it during my life time. My mom is extremely selfish & self-centered. She would never think to bake something for someone else. Actually, she had an affair for many years, my sister and brother actually 'caught' her, but that didn't change anything. I am sure that dad knew, but dad stayed for us kids. I don't have any respect for her. I am somewhat closer to my dad, mainly because he stuck with us. But I was never the 'favorite'. When I was young, dad favored my sister, & mom favored my brother. I was just left on my own, many times I was literally left alone. I still remember the night that I had a concert or something and no one picked me up. We lived about 20 miles from town, after wondering the streets until midnight and checking all the bars for my parents, I finally asked one of the bartenders for the coins to use the pay phone to call home. No one even noticed that I wasn't home. Linda, we need to learn to let things go. We will never get our mother's approval, we need to accept that. The question is: what is the worst that would happen if you told you mom not to bring baked goods over? Or if she does, it needs to be 1 portion for you DH. Give it some thought. I will also give my relationship some thought. Linda, for the most part, I enjoy being single. I no longer have to ask for someone's approval. I know that I will be doing everything alone, but at least I don't have to deal with anyone letting me down. This is probably NOT the best attitude. I have a tendency to focus on the negative, this is what I need to work on. I try to look at the glass 1/2 full, but I struggle with the glass 1/2 empty. Oh, and I do miss sex, but only in the spring. Well need to get ready for work, I don't think I have a muscle that isn't in pain this morning. You all have a good day, and tomorrow I have a day off!! Only the 3rd since school got out. I am going to sleep in, then park myself in the shade of my willow tree and work on a quilt or read!!! I will deal with all the summer chores on Tuesday.

Home from work, I had to rebuild the nursery pond. not my idea of fun. Dug out, filled in, dug out, tomorrow, I will dig out again., i can't seem to get it right. So tomorrow we will try again. I am going up to my dad's next week. hopefully we will be able to get him to the 4th of July parade. We are hoping that will help him cheer up and give him some feeling of normalcy. calories were good today and I probably worked everyone of the off. I'm to tired to eat tonight. I will try some left overs when I have the energy. Karri, hope your move went well. I hate moving, I just have tooooo much crap. Janet, I don't necessarily go for the bad boys, I just usually pick control freaks. I usually lose myself trying to become what they want. Which is why I have been single for 15 years. It's easier that way, or so I think. I have been using the SF syrup, I will try the SF creamer. I'm not thrilled with the syrup, but it is better than nothing.

Janet, sorry, even though I reread you post, I STILL said Back Street Boys instead of New Kids One The Block!!! Must have been some subliminal thing... Had popcorn last night, didn't have any pain. So I will save the calories for that at night. I am also a evening snacker, okay, I'm an anytime snacker. Have given up my Cafe Vienna....drinking coffee with skim milk & SF flavor...NOT the same thing. But I figure I am losing a lot of calories to coffee. This is one thing that I will add back when the weight is gone. Who knows, I might not make it with it now. You all have a good day.

Calories today 792, mowed the lawn/weedeated for 5 hours. I figure I will have a FF Fudge bar and try some popcorn for snack. I'm a little achie from the mowing, but the yard sure does look nice. BBQ'ed some small steaks, I was able to eat about 2 oz., 2 bites of sweet potato, and 1/2 an asparigus snack. Lunch was 1/2 c lowfat cottage cheese with 2 tbles craisins, 1/3 c blueberries, 1 tble slivered almonds. BF was 1c skim, 1 c strawberries, and protein powder. Janet, the Back Street Boys??? that is right up there with Donny Osmond and Mac Davis, I figure since you were 30 for the Back Street Boys we are now even. I will work tomorrow, I'm going to BBQ some pork loin chops, then figure out something else to go with it. Has anyone heard from Steph?? I hope she is alright. I miss chatting with everyone, where are you all?

78 kg = 171.6 pounds Candice, have a glass of wine for me. You sound like you are having the time of your life. Have been a slug for most of the morning, slept until 9 am, got up and had a nap until noon. So now i need to kick it in gear, need to go to the store, yard work....

Thanks Janet. I figure I will try to go up later next week. I have been gone for 2 weeks and only been home to head off to work at the nursery. I think the nursery is closed on the 4th. So if I head up on Thursday I can help get dad to the 4th of July parade. He has NEVER missed it. I think we have a plan. Figure we will get a lawn chair and find him a place in the shade, drop him off early, go park the truck, and that way he can sit and enjoy the parade. Well weighed today, am going to rejoice in the 1/2 pound loss, that's what I'm telling myself anyway. I exercised, and counted calories and it is 1/2 pound. Well I haven't had a good 'BM' since I was gone, so I'm hoping there is another 1/2 pound in that. I know TMI. Today's goal is to be VERY accurate in my measurements. I know that cottage cheese with fruit and nuts keeps me full, so I am going to go get lowfat or fat-free cottage cheese and measure accurately. Then I am getting deli turkey and lettuse leaves for lunch, probably ditch the cheese and increase the turkey slices, more fill for the calories. Tonight is BBQ steak and aspargus. Then somewhere in there, yard work and a walk. I'll take the 'babies', it will be good for them. With Elyse still not feeling well they haven't had a walk in a week. Janet, I agree with you about MJ. How could he not turn strange after not having a childhood. I liked him, but I will confess to being more of a ....wait for it....yep this is embarrasing...Donny Osmond fan. I even belonged to his fan club and can STILL remember his birthday. Oh, his song 'Puppy Love' would melt my teen heart. I also was a Mac Davis fan, sad but true. I went to 3 of his concerts. So that you know that I'm not a total geekoid, I also saw Three Dog Night and KISS. But I am a love song groupie. My own version of a knight in shinning armour.

Came home early from the workshop, we were suppose to stay until Friday morning or at the earlies thursday. the workshop this morning was SO boring, we almost died. Think of the guy who acts as a PC in the Apple computer comercials. Not only did he sound like him (dry) he looked just like him. I got a phone call from my mom saying that dad was not doing well and that they had to cancel his PT because it wears him out to much. Mom went into talk to the onocologist and the Dr. has NO idea why dad isn't getting stronger. He still is too weak to walk without help and can not walk more than a few steps. Needless to say I lost it and my principal said to go home. I really think that the cancer has moved to the bones, dad says his back hurts all the time. Maybe I am just being an alarmist, but dad is totally frustrated with his quality life. He actually has NO quality of life. So I need to get things organized at home, work this weekend, then head up to Roundup. When will my summer start? I just want to sit in my yard with a glass of tea and read a book and watch my Koi. I know I am being selfish, but I'm tired.... well I will go weigh in the morning. I have no idea if it is a loss or a gain. So I guess we will just see.

Oh Linda, This sounds like a dare??? I'm thinking you all will have to be sending ME the money and then making a conference call to listen to ME enjoy my margaritta from Montana while you acknowledge my 'ever shrinking profile'.

Night you all, awful quiet.

Phyl, hand in there, just remember that all this stuff is what you need to get your surgery!!! I'm on a cpap also, I am hoping to get off it when I lose weight. It costs me about $200 a month and I sure could use the money for something else, like my house payment. I am going to tough it out house payment wise for this next year, then I think I will sell and buy a condo. I'll miss my koi, but not mowing the acre. Unfortunately I probably won't be able to afford the repeat sleep study. Last time it cost $3000 and my insurance only paid half. If I didn't have medical bill I would be able to afford to go to Canada with you all. My house payment is half my paycheck and medical expenses, even with insurance, takes half of the other half. Leaving me only 1/4 for groceries and utilities. I have never been able to take my girls on a vacation and I dearly would love to before the all get busy with their lives. Actually 3 of them ARE already too busy with their lives. Oh well, going to go take a shower. I bought more farm land today and need to get back to plow and plant before I fall asleep.

I just had them most fabulous dinner. Seared Ahi Tuna where it is seared on the inside and just hot on the inside, but not cooked. The most tender piece of fish I have ever had. It had a seasoned grilled rice cake. the rice was crunchy on the outside and delish. I ate EVERY bite and I don't think any of it was slider food. calories for today, naturally I'm not sure since it was dinner out, but it didn't taste like there was much oil, was about 900 calories. Naturally it could be higher, the tuna was about 3 oz, and the rice cake had about 1/2 c rice, and then there were seared zucchini and peppers. If I could live in Bozeman, I would have this meal every day!!!! I am full, my taste buds are satisfied, and I don't feel deprived. I know I am a slow learner, but I am learning.

Done with workshops for the day, only one day left. Janet...I walked 50 minutes today and for one of the first times I felt full. Calories today are 579, and burned 322 cal walking. I actually had ton's of energy and never felt hungry, I still don't!!! I upped my lunch calories because I seemed to be having concentration issues and feeling rather 'weak'. AND I didn't feel ANY pain while eating. Now, I WILL remember how this feels. Energized, not groggy.... Candice good to here from you, continue to have fun... Steph are you home yet?

Good morning ladies...hope you all got a good night sleep? Evening food was good, had about 8 almonds. Only 2 1/2 days of workshop left, whohooo. then back home to work at the nursery, THEN I get to start my summer!!! Sleep in if I want, work in my yard. Find the darn ole' house. Strangely enough I am looking forward to finding some organization. Meals for the day are pretty much the same as yesterday. I still need to know if deli turkey and scrambled eggs are a slider. I imagine cheese is, oh well. I do limit it. Have a good day!

Karri, I would love to have your alfredo recipe and meatloaf. I am a pretty simple eater. I have been avoiding carbs because I am a total carb addict. I do feel better when I avoid them. I actually enjoyed my lettuce wrapped 'sandwich' today and I'm not much of a salad fan. But man do I love pasta and bagels and muffins, and ice cream. dinner tonight was casadeea (sp), we went to a mexican resurant and there just wasn't much selection that wasn't fried or smothered in something. I ate 2 slices of casadeea with fruit salsa but only ate the center part of them not the 1 inch trim that didn't have any peppers or chicken. Yep I know the cheese wasn't great, but I was at about 1/2 to 3/4 of a cup. I don't feel deprived I actually feel full. Didn't mind not having chips and salsa or fried ice cream. I am learning to not drink with my meals. I still have some '1st bite' pain, but if I relax and wait a few minutes i can continue my meal. Is scrambled eggs, fruit, deli turkey, cheese considered 'sliders'? I know that steak wasn't and I was able to eat it last night. I know that I shouldn't eat cheese, but I have included it in my calories. Janet, I know that I have 'doubting Doris' on my shoulder. I guess too many times of getting thin, only to fail makes me skeptical that this will work for the long term. I want it too, and at least I have felt more in control than I ever have. I have an unhealthy relationship with food. Partially related to being raised on surplus potatoes and beans with what ever wild game dad could hunt. To say we were poor is a bit of an understatement and the money we had, mom & dad drank. I can live without food very well, living on 1 bag of popcorn and a glass of skim milk a day. I have had bouts of bulemia when I got divorced. So now you know all my secrets, well the food related ones anyway. I would be happy if I never had to eat again. Yep, probably should go to a councelor for those issues, but let's get real, all of these are excuses. Janet is right, it is time to stop making excuses and embrase reality. sorry can't seem to spell worth anything today. So today...it is my choice to be healthy. Tomorrow...

I know....Janet, I did 40 min of walking today and will walk again after dinner. I know it is about attitude and I know mine sucks. I am in a negative mode. Slap at will. I KNOW I need to realize that this is a life change, not a diet. I don't THINK I think about what I will eat when I reach a healthy weight. I never have actually set a goal weight because I am afraid that if I set it and reach it, I will go back to bad habits. I also know that food is my sanctuary. It is easy when I am tired. I also look for it to 'perk' me up when I am exhausted, which I am most of the time. Today was better, Lunch was 2 slices of turkey lunch meat, 1 slice of sharp cheddar wrapped in lettuce leaves. Snack was 3 slices of dried pear and a SF, skinny latte way after I ate the pears. Calories today 570. Dinner out with the faculty...

Just went for a 40 min walk, BF 80 cal yogurt w/berries & scrambled egg, snack about 1/2 oz jerky, heading for lunch...probably some meat,

Morning ladies.... Hum...life in the dorms at 50... A double room all to yourself No homework... Neighbor that brews her own coffee... Neighbor that brews her own coffee AND shares... Calories yesterday...1170...let my guard down and the next thing I knew, a 270 cal protein bar was gone. Yep, never should have bought them, they are my 'emergency' meal plan for while I'm at the workshop. I am going to try the popcorn thing when I get home. I do REALLY great until almost bed time. I am also going to write up a meal/calore schedule. I thought I had it under control. Yeah right, who am I kidding. Damn, Damn, Damn

Oh, I'm in on the competition. What if we did %?

Janet, I will probably end up at about 900. I am going to have a protein bar 130 cals, and I just ate about 5 almonds, and about 7 grapes, so I am sure that it will be between 900 & 1000. It sounds like Green was a sweatheart. What happened that he died so suddenly? I understand the 3rd person now that we know Green was male. But what the hell, who gives a rats dareaire. It only matters that he was a good person who was loved. I bet his partner is just devistated. I can't imagine loosing a soul-mate. I admire people that find that relationship. Okay...I down right jealous!!! Someone who respects you as well as loves you. Someone who misses you when you are gone. OKAY enough of that.....