cramerk

Good luck Phyl, remember to breathe! hehe

Well, I'm ignoring the hungries tonight. I was only able to eat about 2 oz of steak, then PB'd part of it. Later had a couple of FF Fudgebars. Decided to not eat anything else. Since I can't seem to figure out the hungries I figured I'd just not eat unless I'm sure I'm hungry. The only time I know for sure that I am really hungry is when my stomach really growls. I'm thinking about skipping lunch for a while. I'm not usually growly hungry at lunch time. I need to figure out something so that I can eat a real dinner. I'm just tired, cranky, and have a headache. See you all tomorrow. Let's hope that tomorrow will be a better day for us all.

Thanks Steph, I needed that. I guess I'm with you on the blues. Mainly because I let my sister get to me.

Wow Candice, how wonderful for your DD, being reconnected with his brother after all this time. There are all kinds of gifts God gives us when we need them!! Thanks for all the suggestions on port issues. I know that part of this is just 'Doris', the other is just realizing how much I depended upon child support. I know...shut up already. It's not like I didn't know it was coming. But I guess I played mind games with myself. By the way Candice, I LOVE Coq au Vin. I haven't made it in 15 years. It was one of my ex's favorite meals. Linda, I think you and I need to get together and get drunk. We could grouch to each other and I bet before long, we both would feel better.

Steph, I just spent sometime on the sleeve forum and wasabubblebutt has a lot to say about the band vs sleeve. Unfortunately all it managed to do for me is get me depressed. How so many banders did great for 2 years and then started having difficulties... Well, suppose to be cleaning carpets, decided to go outside and weed and move plants around. Now I think a nap is calling me. Damn, I just realized that I let 'Doris' depress me, 'If you had....' what are you going to do when....' LET IT GO!! So here is my official mantra for the time being. The band will work, the band will work, the band will work...and if it doesn't...I'll...heck I don't know what I will do.

Steph, do your research, however, remember wasabubblebutt went to the sleeve and is very happy with it. I think the only real issue other than not be reversable is the ability to stretch the pouch with the sleeve, but I think you can stretch with the band. As I said before, IF I COULD DO IT OVER, I would go with the sleeve. TJ is only 10 minutes from the border which made be feel better. I figured if I had to I could crawl that far if all hell broke loose. There are a lot of armed, and I do mean heavily armed trucks driving around, police & military. But as I said, I never felt nervous while in TJ, just crossing the border but I alone. Keep researching.

KSaulsb1 Welcome, I'm a relative newbie by these awesome ladies standards, Banded 3/31/09. Doing well, I've lost 52 pounds, have a ways to go, but with these ladies' help I know I will make it.

Ah Candice, it sounds like soooo much fun. I'm bummed that I'm missing out, but maybe next year. Reread my post from last night, I was more tired than I thought, I can't understand half of what I wrote. I am still struggling with the evening hungries. I hope that it is head hungry and that I can get it under control. I REALLY don't want to go for an unfill. One, I'm a pauper at this moment, two, I'm afraid that I messed up my port and will have to have it repositioned. I do a lot of heavy lifting and the nursery, and every once in a while I forget about the port and 'hug' a heavy pot to my chest to carry it. There have been a few times that it hurt like the blazes at my port site and now my port isn't flat against my skin. I think I tipped it. This is when I really wish that I had gone with the sleeve. I know it is more invasive and not reversable, but if my port is messed up the added cost will be equal to what the sleeve would have cost. Of course 'Doubting Doris' could also be at work. I'm just worried. The evening seems to be my challenge time. I have been budgeting calories for the evening, but I also realize that evening calories stick around. I feel as out of control as I did before the band. Part of it is that I imagine my dinner is low on overall calories. I always have hard protein for dinner. Last night it was 1/2 a chicken breast, probably 2 oz, 1 bite of low cal coleslaw, and a lot of watermelon. I tried to eat more chicken, but as Steph knows, chicken is not my friend. I did have a 98 cal adult beverage before dinner which is uncommon. But lately, I am going into a feeding frenzy at 9 pm. Last night is was 2 FF 50 cal Fudgebars, 100 cal popcorn, and a bowl of watermelon. So today, I am going to get it under control. I'd appreciate any suggestions. Steph, I am so glad Jeff is considering getting banded. Remind him of how important he is to your family. I was very please with Dr. Ortiz's clinic. The only uncomfortable moment is when you are dropped off at the line to cross the border, you have to walk across with all your luggage, go through the border check and then be picked up about a block away. Remember that you know have to have a passport to get into MX now. If Canada's cost is close to MX, I'd consider going there instead even though I had an excellent experience at Dr. Ortiz. Hey, tell them that I refered you, maybe they will give me a finder's fee. Also Steph, I need your mailing address so I can send you my pack that I bought for the 3 day walk. It will cover the cost of the t-shirts AND I would like you to use it, so I somewhat feel like I was on the walk. I am REALLY bummed that I won't be going. Also, I will get you the yardage required for the hats. I would be honored to sew anything you all need, hats, capes, etc. I hate this having to penny pinch. There won't even be any quilt shopping this year. I am taking Alexa to orientation at the U, then home to shampoo carpets. Actually, maybe a little nap. Staying up until midnight and then getting up at 6 am is taking a toll. You all have a good day. I have a bit of the blue's going today.

Evening ladies, just settling down from visiting with my sister and her husband. It went well. Got home about 6:30 from work and then BBQ some chicken with coleslaw, watermelon, & pineapple. Turned out pretty good. The list a fire in the firepit, made smores and visited. I'm tired tonight, so I will keep this short. Candice what a heart break to lose you camera with all the quilt pics, I be it was wonderful. Steph, sounds like a perfet day. chat in the morning when I can

Good morning ladies!!! Need to do a quick pickup of the house and then heading to work. My sister and her husband are coming for the night. She is a clean freak and since I have been gone or working since school got out, my house is a disaster. I use to be a clean freak, and then life happened. Okay, I'd rather be quilting the cleaning. But tomorrow after she leaves I am going to clean carpets and then quilt while it dries. The first quilting day of the summer.

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHH Steph, look at that ticker!! Keep going girl.

Candice, I forgot to ask...did you pick up any fabric or patterns? Dinner, pork loin chops, about 2 - 3 oz., with 3 bites of peas. Boy this band is fickle. Why when I am the hungriest, that I can eat the least...I know...small bites and chew.

Absolutely gorgeous!!!! I plan on shampooing carpets on Wednesday and while I am blocked out of the livingroom while it dries, its me and my quilt room. Now if only the livingroom was between me and the kitchen.

Quilt???? I better see that ASAP! hungry today, grrrrrrrrrrr

Went on an hour long bike ride this morning. whowho

Candice, I'm glad you are home safe and sounds! Sounds like a wonderful trip. Phyl, congrats on your surgery date. All will go fabulously. Just think of all the things you will be able to do! Get ready to put a 'For Sale' sign on your scooter. The good lord was lookin over me. I stepped on the scale this a.m. and I held my last weight loss!! So today will be forcussing on the healthy eating and ignoring my head hunger. I want to be below 200 by the end of the month. So today, even though it will be hot, I am going on a bike ride. DD#5 got a new bike for graduation from DD#2, so I have her convinced to go riding this morning. Although it will probably be later. She is a night owl and probably didn't go to bed before 3 am. I just don't understand the child. Yesterday was HOT for us and it feels like it will be the same today. Once the thermometer goes over 90 I start to melt. Also need to get all the yard watered and need to figure out the rest of the summer chores. I need to shampoo carpets, do the deep clean, consider doing some painting (dependent upon the $$$), and sit down and figure out a new budget now that there is $1000 LESS in the monthly fund. I thought I budgeted for loosing my child support, but evidently not enough. Yep, I am a little depressed about it. I could go to court and have part of the support reinstated since both girls are in college, but it would cost more in lawyer fees than what I would get, so we tighten the belt. Steph...did you get your lawyer? Karri, how's the curriculum going? We will need to do some earth science chatting, since this will be a new class for me. PCgirl, you well could be eating too little. Good job on the exercise. That is my area of weakness. I hate indoor exercise and I hate hot weather, so I need to bite the bullet and get real. Exercise needs to be a perminant part of my life if I want to get healthy. Here is the strange question??? I think my port shifted, is that normal? I use to be able to feel it nice and flat against the skin. Now I can't seem to find it? If I can't find it how will the dr? I have NO problem staying were I am, fill wise, but if it needs repositioned, there is no way I can afford that. Okay, quit worrying about it. Karri, dropping my kids off my insurance isn't an option. First the modification date has come and gone. Second, Elyse has some meds that wouldn't be covered if she had an insurance laps. Third, both girls have corrective lenses (they are blind as a bat), and dental issues as well. I will figure this out. I'll tighten the belt. I have 3 jobs now, so add another isn't really an option. I am thinking on putting some of my crafts on ebay. I have a variety of things that I use to sell at craft shows that I make: purses, felted wool hats, thimbles, magnets, hand-dyed flannel, hand pieced and hand quilted baby quilts. I don't do craft shows anymore, because I can't handle the rejection. I figure that since I love my stuff, everyone else should... Actually, the biggest reason I quit doing craft shows is that I won't use cheap materials, and people won't pay the prices I have to charge to make a profit. When I make a baby quilt that has $100 in material and almost 200 hours of labor, I am not going to sell it for $50. Anyway, enough of me, gosh I sound like my mother... I promise to stop talking about myself so much. I guess I am using you all as a sounding board, that I just like to hear myself think. Chat later.

Back home from my Dad's, he is doing much better. We took him to the parade and then lunch at one of his sisters. We left the house at about 9:30 am and returned about 3pm. I found out that mom has been feeding him 'Dinty Moore' dinners off the grocery shelf. Dad loves fruit & veggies, steak & potatoes, and she hates them, so she has NOT been buying him any of them. No wonder he has been weak. He's living off of lousy high carb meals and Ensure. I blew. So I went and bought him a watermelon, salad, steak, cherries, veggie tray, & potatoes. He couldn't eat a lot, but he sure enjoyed it and later said he felt the best he has in a long time. So I spent the entire time cooking for dad...and mom. I arranged to have my sister, who's going to dad's at the end of the week, to bring some more veggies and fruit. Then I will talk to my brother and see if he will drop fruit & veggies off every week. I'm still REALLY ticked at my mother. The entire time I was there, all she did was bitch about how much work she has to do because dad can't do anything. Now I find out that dad is having trouble seeing. I just don't really like what is going on, and there is nothing I can do about it. Food while I was gone, I can't really say, it just became a blur. I know that during the day was great, but I did have a piece of cake on Saturday. Friday night, I know that I over ate during the night. Let's just say there was a feeding frenzy of popcorn and protein bars. I will weigh tomorrow and face the music. I didn't get any exercise in, so I am planning a bike ride tomorrow. I know that I let depression and frustration rule me on Friday. I was upset with my mom & frustrated with my finances. The trip to Roundup, kenneling the dogs, buying food for my dad cost more than my entire month's budget after bills since my child support has ended. So Steph, I am going to have to officially bail on the 3-Day. Even if I would raise the money I can't afford to get there. Honestly I just can't face the stress of dealing with trying to work it out. I'm sorry, but right now I need to figure out how to keep my house.

Janet, I couldn't resist checking in this morning before we leave. Yep, small bites and long chewing. I don't know if anything tasted so good as dinner. I was still hungry, so at about 10 pm I had 2 (yes 2) FF Fudgebars, 50 cals each, and a 100 cal bag of popcorn. All kinds of foods were calling me, but at least I had the healthier choice, and I had made allowances for these extra calories. Calories for yesterday, 1091 with 88 grams of Protein. Stephanie asked, Can you live with what you are eating?, yesterday, yes. I know I need to work on NOT having a protein smoothie for Breakfast as it doesn't keep me full very long, but it is a decanet treat. Right now I can live with the morning hungries so that I can have it. When school starts I will need to change it to something that sticks longer because I have trouble with the stress eating. The one good thing is that I haven't been snacking in the morning or afternoon. Folks, if this thread dies, I will hunt you all down, and it won't be pretty. You all are experienced, think of the newbie here???? Can she make it without your support and knowing that you are looking over my shoulder AND cheering me on? That being said.... How is the challenge going? I'm feeling a little Margahittaville coming on. Steph, are you taking your meds? Also, you can tell that the lawyers think this is a joke? Not easy to live with, but there is NO WAY in hell that it is going to court, let alone a conviction. Janet, you sound like you have had quite the party life. We need to talk girlfriend. I know you and I would hit if off and be able to regail each other with our exploits. Okay, mine weren't as exciting as yours, but I can make them sound that way. How about the story of me taking out a black angus bull??? Sliding down a glacier? The end of the school year party that the next morning I slinked out (of the party), not one of my finer moments. Okay, I better stop there because what I just erased was definitely not something I want the world to know. I'll save that for a more personal moment. Karri, I admire your committment. I was once there. I hope to get it back this year. Phyl, how did the appointment go? Candice, have a glass for me. Linda, have a good 4th. Ruby, where are you girl.

I leave in the morning and won't have computer access, so I will not be chatting until Sunday evening. Hope you all have a safe and enjoyable holiday. Remember Karri's advice for food.

Yummmmmmmmmmmm, I just finished dinner, late, but delish and man could I eat, what's up with that. Just when I finally think that I need to go for an unfill. Lunch was 1/2 a small cantalope and 3/4 chicken salad. Dinner 3 oz chicken, 6 aspargus, 3 tble of risotto. AND I'm still hungry!!!!!! Karri, so what happening to having some time off this summer. I hope they are paying you for this!!! Janet, the weekend is almost here. What's everyones plans for the weekend?

Steph, sometimes it seems that it never ends. I'm so sorry about the news of your friend. But this to will pass. It reminds us to take joy in our daily lives, fat or thin, alone or partnered, children or none, stupid actions or smart. These are NOTHING without joy, so use this as a reminder that right now things suck, but it could suck worse. I sent you an email regarding licensure on your gmail account, I don't seem to have the other address right, so stop by and read it. Also, let me know when you are in Helena for lawyer visit/court, etc., I want to be there for you, unless you'd rather I not. Just give me a call and I'm in the car. I am going to take your advice and closely look at my eating. I am satisfied with BF and lunch, but not with dinner. Am I really trying to eat the solid protein, or am I just giving up to quickly. Plan on going for a walk tonight, I need to destress before I go to dad's. I know it will drive me crazy to be there. Fortunately Elyse and Alexa won't have to stay at the house, they sleep with their hoodies up and tied to a small breathing hole because mom's house is so filthy and infested that they are afraid they will be attacted. They will go into town and stay at Jamie's, DD#2, dad's house. Although he and his wife have no real relationship as that he is ex #1, they treat DD #4 & #5 as their own. I guess we could all take a lesson from that. I'm heading off to quilt with a friend for a couple of hours, Candice, have you looked at fabric on your trip, quilt patterns?

Great, my post disappeared...grrrrrrrrrrrr. Karri, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Have a good day. Short version of the lost post. Less that 5 hours of sleep, boys barking. Took my dinner to party last night. Avoided cheesecake, dip, & chips. Had a glass of wine, zinfidel, hoping it was the lowest in calories. Need a nap or a bike ride to clear my head.

Well ladies, got home about 40 min ago, took a shower and had a snack, had to make my bed, who thought it was a good day to change the sheets and NOT put them back on, so now I am just crawling into bed and it is almost 2am. I haven't been up this late since the baby who is 19 was 2, I guess I'm a wild and crazy party girl. Had a fabulous visit with my friend. We sat on her back porch and drank a little wine and solved the problems of the teaching world. Now because of Phyll I can't shut the light off yet because I have crops that will waste if I don't go and harvest. I want that white farm house on farm town and if I don't harvest tonight I will lose 70,000 coins. Steph love to you, we have talked it out and you know I am only a call away AND if you need me there in person, say the word and I'll be there!!!! Good night you all, or should I say good morning.

Question for tonight discussion.... Do I need an unfill? There are times that I can eat a 'normal amount', ex: 3-4 oz of steak, or 2 oz of pistrami with lettuse, 100 cal bag of popcorn, others where 2 bites will cause me to stick. I 'think' I am eating more solids, ex: chicken salad with chopped onions, celery, and pineapple tidbits. I can eat cooked carrots, corn, peas, greenbeans, but not aspargus. I know that my 1/2 c lowfat cottage cheese with blueberries, craisins, & almonds is probably a slider, but it does keep me full until dinner. I'm not anxious to go for an unfill, because I won't be able to afford to go back for a refill for months. But I am putting the question out there. I am so affraid to start gaining weight. I'd appreciate your imput here. Should I be able to eat more? Am I not eating enough solids. I know we have hashed this out before, but I am a slow learner, and I need to make a decision about whether I should go for the unfill.

Steph, glad to know you are alive. We were worried, hell, I was worried that Jeff chained you to a chair so you wouldn't leave again. I know you thrive on curriculum stuff, me to, but maybe you need to slow down a bit. Now don't throw anything at me, I love you and am just worried. I know that if I was as tight as you that you'd come and slap me and then haul me off to the dr. Do we need an intervention? IF you don't get an unfill next week, the intervention is on!! How do you expect to function without your depression meds and thyroid meds. The thyroid is NOTHING to mess around with. Have you read the impact on your body without it? I have to be honest, everytime I go to the dr. they check my thyroid. Each time I hope that it finally is at the right number. But alas, it is ALWAYS just below the # needed to be on synthenoid. Okay, enough lecturing, see, Janet is starting rub off on me. Just remember it is all with love. Okay ladies, road my bike to the grocery store this morning, 6 miles round trip, not a huge amount, but I am still recovering from the pond building at work. Some bitchy lady yelled at me from her car about not being on the bike path. Well first of all, were I was, there wasn't a path, second, I was observing the bike in traffic rules. So I guess I won't ride to the store again. I will go the other direction. When I got home, I sprayed weeds and pulled weeds for 2 hours. I figure the both will go towards the calories I will have for tonight's adult beverage (s). Going over to a friends for a jewelry party and then after everyone leaves we are celebrating the end of school (I think I mentioned that already, sorry, early alzheimers). Talked to mom this morning, I guess dad had a better day yesterday. He was able to walk into the dr. office with his walker. This is a first. When they were done, he wanted to go out for dinner and he went into the restaurant WITHOUT his walker. Naturally he is exhausted today, but he has some normal living. I guess his lung has some Fluid in it, but the doc is going to leave it alone for right now since dad is feeling better. I head up on Thursday and mom only has landline at a snail's pace so I probably will be out of touch until Sunday night.