cramerk

Steph, only 8 pounds to go.. Denise, I'm glad your mom is back home. Now you can relax a little. Has anyone heard how Karri is? She was talking about some medical issues associated with her rapid weight loss. Phyl, one week.... Janet & Linda...it's 'hump day', all down hill from here. Candice enjoy your trip. Keep us posted.

Steph, so far so good, 6 months and the endangerment will be off!!! You can handle that. The drive to Williston will be a pain, but view it as some quality time. From what I've read/heard/experienced, don't be surprised if Michael has some 'testing' time either right before or right after his sessions. You're doing great! Now it is time to get back on track. Why...because you need to stop putting yourself down. Michael's issues are NOT your fault. You are punishing yourself through your eating. You figure, "Hell, I suck with everything I do, so if I beat myself up physically (eg. overeating) then I will be punished. I don't deserve to feel good or look good." TAKE CONTROL BACK!! You deserve to be healthy, pull out that before picture. Do you want to go back to that? I know it is easy to hide underneath fat, we are invisible when we are fat. You have inspired me, do you really think I'd be here if it wasn't for you? You told me I was worth it, so now I'm telling you: YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! Okay Steph, this was said with love and tears. You are my hero.

I'm amazed Earl can walk. We take our 6th graders on a hike up St. Mary's Peak. Probably a similar sized mountain. It takes about 3 hours up and about 2 hours down. The ONE time I did it, I could hardly walk for 3 days and had to call in sick. I'm suppose to do it this fall, so hopefully being 65 pounds lighter will help. It was the jarring on the way down that killed my knees & hips. Dinner tonight, steak, a spoon of potatoes, veggies, & watermelon. Janet, I'm glad you suggested to Phyl to go onto liquids, I was thinking that. I have been really lucky about acid reflux, the fill doc asked me about it. Is this something you guys had trouble with right away or did it come on later? Candice, don't forget to christen the RV. I'd suggest a nice chardenay (sp) broken over the bow, but I'd drink the wine, and sprinkle a little over the bow. Have fun, keep a list. My sister, who has the 'RV' that cost 3 times the amount of my house, has a check list for departure and set up. But on this maiden voyage there will be things that you wish you had and things you wish you left. Don't leave it to memory, put this list where you can add to it easily. I dream of having a mini-winni to travel around the country. I don't sleep well when I'm not in my own bed, so this would allow me to have my bed and my space. Now picture it,,,my mini-winni with my featherweight (1957 mini sewing machine) and a bright green moped on the back. Then I can go and visit all my grandchildren (should I ever have them) and friends and go to quilt shows around the country.

Did my hour of brisk walk. I was dragging a bit at the beginning, but got into stride after a few minutes. But the puppies were dragging. You'd think that I was torturing them. I didn't even have to stop them from barking at loose dogs, they were too focused on keeping their tongues off the ground. Janet, nope we don't have a leash law, this is Montana ... big open spaces, where men are men and the livestock are scared. Anyway, my circle (yep it is actually a circle) requires each home to be on a one acre lot because of wells and septic tanks, no city water for us toughies. So people just let their pets and children run wild. I'm actually one of the few who has a fence, mainly to keep the kids on the dirt bikes from tearing across my front lawn. I live next to an empty lot that the kids (and dad's) have built jumps, so the kids are constantly tearing around. Let's just say, Jordan, Simon, & Molly don't like it much. But I just had to tell someone....I made myself a hot turkey/reduce cal provolone on a SMALL tortilla for lunch. Believe it or not...I was full after eating half the sandwich!!! I rarely feel full at lunch time, I stop eating because I'm out of calories not because I'm full. So I must be making some progress. So total cals for lunch was about 140. Phyl, your mind is probably racing trying to think of all the things you want/need to get done before next week. Be sure to take some extra time for yourself.

Morning ladies...hope you all had a restful night. Candice, is the RV ready? Tell you DH ANYTIME he thinks he need to wash & wax something, my car is in the garage! I frequently wash, but wax...what is that. Are you able to take your computer so we can have updates on the maiden voyage? Steph, I hope you got some rest. Hopefully you found a facility for Michael. Let me know what I can do to help. Janet, is your office unpacked? It is so unsettling to have to move. Build you nest and make the space your own. Phyl, did you get to sneak into the kitchen?

Janet, yep, I'm logging every bite/drink. But tonight I walked another mile with all the babies, 3 dogs at one time is not really the best idea. actually they were pretty good, it was all the unfenced, unleashed dogs and kids on dirt bikes. Finally had to 'pin' our dogs even though they were just reacting to everyone else. I wish we had a leash law. Princess Molly even got out of her harness (it's a little too small), but at least she came back like she was suppose to. Made parmesan tilapi, not bad. Kind of made up my own recipe: broiled tilapi for 2 min on each side, mixed up shredded parmesan, a little olive oil, plain yogurt, lemon juice, basil, onion powder, pepper, parsley and put it on top of the fish and broiled it for about 2 - 3 minutes. I think next time I will marinate the fish in some wine & garlic. but the kids actually ate it. Also had sweet potatoes with SF maple syrup and watermelon. I think my kids have decided I am nuts, I'm cooking & cleaning. Janet, good job working off the ice cream, proud of you. Yep, DD#4 has to buy a new battery. I couldn't get the old battery out of her car, so I had to buy jumper cables so we can jump it in the morning and I can take it into the shop. Burn plastic burn. grr. Phyl, when is your surgery?

Good job Linda, you put into words what the rest of us were thinking!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI just finished quilting my daughters oriental quilt, my first big quilt on my quilting frame and machine. For the 1st big project it looks pretty darn good. Just as long as no one looks too close. Just snarfed a nectorine and paybacks or a b-----. To excited, pb, here we come. grr

On a separate note, I did go for an hour brisk walk. I plan on walking a half hour tonight. Maybe that will get the scale moving.

Steph, you need to go for a walk. Can your mom take the little ones for a couple of weeks. You are strong enough to handle this, but it stinks. Can you find a residential facility for Michael. I don't know if outpatient is going to do what he or you need. This is just a thought, please don't think I am being over harsh, I don't mean it that way. Call when you needs to talk. I'm not calling, because I know you are busy trying to find a solution. But I am here when you need me. Love you girl, be strong!!

Candice, did you see the block of the month on the Fat Quarter Newsletter by Robyn Pandolph? I love her stuff. I actually took a class from her when she was with Moda. She is who taught me how to applique. I want it BAD!!!! But alas, the budget does not allow, or the stack of block of the month/kits that are occupying 2 drawers in my sewing room. But the price is excellent, $20 per month with about $5 for shipping AND it makes almost a queen size quilt.

Candice, water intake is good, but that is also where the SF lemonaide is coming from. I don't like 'plain' water, so I put it over ice, and then toss in some SF lemonaide powder. I usually exceed the 64 oz. per day. Janet, your battery issues are contageous. DD#4 went out to go to work this morning and her car wouldn't start. I'm REALLY hoping it is the battery and NOT the starter. So I'll put the battery charger on it today and see if it starts, that will give us a clue on what it is. Needless to say, I got to drive her to work in my pj's. Was REALLY hoping my car didn't die. I always have visions of the mom in her robe & rollers out there changing a tire in the rain. But fortunately God was looking over me and made it back home safe & sound. My lobster print bottoms would be okay for public, but the no bra t-shirt wouldn't have been pretty. Then there was the hair and teeth, ooooo, scary. Who knows why I'm not loosing anything. But so far I haven't gotten TOTALLY frustrated and binged. That is always a risk for me.

Came home and planted my fir tree, it only took 1 1/2 hours to dig the darn hole, another hour to wrangle the thing out of the truck and back fill. Needless to say my arms and shoulders are complaining. The tree weighed 500 pounds, but it is in the ground and will be gorgeous in a few year. I remind myself how much it will increase the property value. Around here having trees on your property is like striking oil. In 10 years there should be some good height on the 20+ that I have planted. Most were nursery rejects, so they were free. Candice, thanks for the fish recipe, I am going to try it tomorrow. Phyl, hope you enjoyed your cruise around the neighborhood. You better get it in now, it is almost surgery day. Please remind me again what date, so I can say an extra prayer, and send you positive vibes. Earl BETTER, keep us updated, or we will hunt him down and skin him!! Steph...are you home yet? Denise, how's your mom? Janet, what have you been up to today. Candice, I'm also the baby of the family, and everyone pretty much treats me like a child yet. Irritating. But I really hate it when I start acting like a child when I'm around them. It is so easy to fall into that trap, heck, I am intimidated by one of my own child, oh heck, by two of my own children. they have their head's on straight and very focussed. In comparison, I can find myself falling into the trap of being a ditz. Well, I think I found another job. One of the ladies who works at the nursery on Sundays, owns a consignment shop and needs someone to work occasional Saturdays. So I guess I'll add that to the other 3 jobs. Anyway, I'm heading to bed, you all have a good sleep and I'll chat in the morning.

Linda I am so with you.. Hang in there, we definitely need to find a way to run away. We all are needing some R&R. Remember to take time for you. I also understand the situation with the 'perfect' family members. My brother has his own business, my sister married a wealthy person, and I'm the fat looser with 5 kids that I could ill afford. AND at 50 yrs old I still done have enough money to make it. What's also irritating...2 of my children are those 'perfect' people with lots of money... So hang in there... Question.. have any of you heard of people gaining weight with SF stuff. I have been drinking a lot more SF stuff lately, SF flavoring in my coffee (2 per day) and SF lemonade. All these things SAY the have 0 calories, but I haven't lost an ounce in 3 weeks and that is with my daily calories staying right at 1000 per day. I read somewhere that Splenda is really sugar but has a molecule that is too big to be absorbed by humans. But the article said that some people can absorb it. I was just wondering, I can't figure out why I haven't lost anything. Looking for an answer, thanks, I'll take any suggestions,

Candice, thank you for the kind words... Phyl, do you have the nose mask or full face mask? I have the full face mask because I am a mouth breather. They tried to put a chin strap on me, but it drove me nuts. Awful quiet out there... Steph should be heading home soon. Linda, are you surviving your family?? My last day of work at the nursery. Glad and Sad. I do get to take home a B&B (burlap & ball) 6 ft fir tree. The main leader died, so I get to take it home for free. It is about a $200 tree and will grow a new leader, so who cares, it will be a little ugly for a couple of years, but then it will be fine. My kids aren't too thrilled, planting it requires a mega hole, & it weighs about 500 pounds so I can't plant it by myself. They HATE digging tree holes, lots of rock. Cool today, it is only suppose to have a high of 65 degrees, last night we were around 40 degrees. So much for summer. Janet are you feeling better?

Back from town and buying groceries an Super Walmart. I hate not shopping locally, as my income comes from this community, but I saved A LOT. Basically bought almost a months worth of groceries and misc. for $250. I have even started searching online for coupons, saved $4.50. Every little bit helps. I picked up some tilapi fish, so if any of you have recipes for it, please let me know. PB'ed on lunch, I guess I stressed the stoma last night. Gave up and am skipping lunch today, had about 100 cals. I'm going to take a little nap. Candice you sound like you are really haveing fun with the RV! You comments about the cpap make sense, I didn't think of it that way. My respiralogis (sp) said we could try lowering my pressure since I have lost weight, but the doc that did my sleep study says that weight gain contributes to apnea, but weight loss doesn't seem to help, so who knows. Check in later.

Finally quit puking/pbing, my throat just burns, so I did eat a couple, okay 3, SF fudge bars. I don't know if I will eat tomorrow, or maybe i'll just do the protein smoothie. I couldn't take my sleeping pills until about 10 pm, so won't get to sleep until midnight. Denise, I'm glad the docs identified what was going on with your mom. Hopefully she is on some major antibiotics and on the road to recovery. Sometimes it just never ends. Hang in there, it sounds like your mom is in good hands. Janet, NEVER apologize for venting to us, that's what we do!! I am glad that you can carve out some space. We will pray that no fires start in expensive buildings. What frustrations. Don't you love it when someones lack of planning creates a crisis that we have to deal with. My job will work out AND I should be glad i have one. So I need to quit complaining about it. I guess I'm frustrated. I will figure out how to deal with it. The say that God only gives you what you can handle, so I pray I don't have to handle it, but if i do, I'll pray that I can. Should go take a shower and at least crawl into bed. My head is killing me along with my throat. i wonder if it is possible to puke your brains out your nose. It feels like it tried. Night

Janet, we each can only take so much, usually it is the little things that finally send us over the edge. Baby, you go ahead and cry, here is my shoulder...Okay, so you had some chocolate and bought ice cream. So the ice cream is in the freezer, now you have some choices, eat a reasonable portion spread over a period of time, give it to Andrew, throw it away. All are options. Each of us have things that we have to deal with, and no one's problems are more important, just different. AND that is why we are here, to listen, to advize, to slap, and mainly to support!! in regards to buying and eating junk food, I'm still pbing/puking dinner that was 2 hours ago. I don't think i will NEVER eat again. I never want to see food again. I can't even keep the papaya down.

I'm with you Phyl, I don't get it either....my suggestion...try it at 12, check your stats on the machine, if they are at 3 or below, reduce the machine. Another option is to use the button that starts the machine a lower level then gradually increases the pressure over a 1/2 hour or so. I think I'm going to die, ate one too many bites of pork chop. Now I'm pbing/puking,,,,significant pain. I can't seem to keep the papaya enzyme down long enough to do their job. Nothing like a lapband forehead slap to make you be careful.

Phyl, I think my cpap is at 11, and I had 60 to 100 apnea episodes per hour, so 12 sounds horridly high. You do have the option of setting to 8 while the tech talks you through it, and just don't tell anyone. I have loved my cpap machine since the day I got it, I finally feel rested. But I will be honest, the last couple of weeks I can't seem to keep the mask on. I seem to be taking it off during my sleep, so what the heck is that all about. Linda, have fun with all the company, should be crazy!! Finished interview the last ditch canidates for the 8th grade math & science position. Both were better than the 3 we interviewed on Wednesday. But here is the rub, one is an experience science teacher, great, but has a secondary certificate, not so great. That means that in the middle school he can only teach science. The other can is a newbie, with a music and elementary certificate. Which is great, she can teach any subject in the middle school. What is not so great is that she has no experience and has worked primarily with primary students. In other words, the 8th graders would eat her alive. It is a no win situation. If we hire the newbie, she can teach any subject, which is really good since middle school classes are constently changing, but we would really have to work with her. If we hire the experience teacher, he could only teach science and everyone else would have to take up the slack, but he would survive the 8th grader. What that means for me...If he hire the science guy, I loose ALL my science classes, and would only teach math, AND I would have my favorite student back from last year. Can I just slit my throat now? I was asked how I felt about that...yeah right, like I'm really going to say, oh hell no... Naturally I have to say, well, I will do what ever is best for the students. Before I left the building...I was cruising for food. Just the thought of reliving last year put me back at the beginning of my struggles. I came home and had a piece of Jerky and a nectorine. I made it through, but who knows what I will do if I have to deal with the same students. I only have 1 1/2 weeks of freedom...can I cry now.

Okay let's try this again....last night the internet was down, and this morning my computer decided to complete and update & shut down in the middle of my post. Phyl, you won't regret the ice pump. Everyone says they are a real life saver and keeps the swelling down, which speeds recovery. Janet, congrats on the flirt. There is nothing that makes a lady feel better than a well aimed flirt. But I agree, "Was there a ring & did you get his #? Candice, Have fun outfitting the RV! Hey if DH is too busy, you just go on your own. Head south, turn right and "Meet me in Montana". Okay love that song. Okay, now I'm tearing up. Long story...short version....wonderful guy I knew in NV, I moved to Montana, we were engaged, calls 2 weeks before the wedding....from jail, was busted for drugs, I was clueless, couldn't have him around my girls, so goodbye. Maybe he is the real reason I haven't dated in 15 years. Okay, TMI, sorry. Don't know where the hell THAT came from. whewww.... Linda & Janet, there are times that jobs stink, most of the time. Janet, if you are like me, I really like routine, a move throws everything off. Does the new boss even HAVE a reason for moving you out of your office, other than a power play? Linda, I know we went into teaching because we loved it and thought we could make a difference, but when did it change. I know for me, a lot of the time, teaching has become 'what I do' instead of 'who I am'. I don't seem to make a difference anymore. I use to, I still have cards from students/parents that I helped. Now it seems that we only get complaints. I have been avoiding thinking about school. I know that many times my heart isn't in it anymore. Well, stepped on the scale, no movement for a week. I KNOW it will change, but right now it doesn't feel like it. I'm going back to staying away from the carbs, they don't seem to fill me up, just make me hungry. Cal's are right around 1000, so just ignore me, I'm just whining. This must be where the statistics come from. I've lost 65% of my weight, feel better, so what the heck, let's get lazy. But I have all of you to remind me that this doesn't have to be it. I can make it through this....okay have I convinced all of you? Question is...have I convinced myself? Rainy day, have to go to school to sit in on more interviews. fun.

I'm quilting, finally got the gynko pattern to work on my daughter's quilt and I'm in the groove, so spending most time doing that. I do need to put part of the privacy fence back up since it blew down during a wind storm this week. I was focusing!! Still really battling the hungries today. I made sure I ate on time. It is like my body is saying...oh hell no, you are NOT going to make me shrink. I'm sure it is a phase, and I made sure my Protein was high, so I'll just endure it. Just a dad update (okay, if I type I can't eat), he has finished his first round of the study medication. He will go in for a CAT scan in 5 weeks. He has been able to keep his oxygen levels in the high 90's. His back has really been painful, but had a CAT scan and it is 'clean', just arthritus. I was convinced that the cancer had spread to his bones. He has his vision back, the optometrist did a quick laser to his lenses and he is able to drive again. His energy level is improving, and is even talking about coming up to my house. So this is the best possible scenario at this time. Two weeks before DD#5 moves into the dorms, she is so excited to be 'free'. I don't blame her, she will have a blast, but she is also a very hard worker. DD#4 is taking some nursing classes to see if she would rather be an RN instead of a radiologist. I hope she enjoys it, her job oportunities will be greater. Janet, by chance is Sheba a Manx? I am searching for a manx for my dad. He had to put his baby down last year and he is really missing having a lap warmer. Well, I have rambled on long enough, catch ya later!

Denise, I'm sorry about your mom, it isn't easy. You are in my prayers. Linda, where are you. Steph, busy, busy, no time for even facebook? Karri, we know you are busy, but I see you on facebook, we are feeling ignored!!

Phyl, hey we know he is a sweetie, otherwise he wouldn't be with the most fabulous lady I know!! But men will be men. You are right, it is easy to fall into habits that are easy for us. Continue to be assertive, just lovingly say, "Hon, I love that you help me, but I need to be more active!" then give him a kiss and squeeze on the butt, and he is yours forever. The pasta was elbow macaroni. I don't know if it was the meal or just me, but I was starving all night. It was the first time that I really ate any amount of carbs, and nothing would fill me. I ate my alloted snacks and was cruising for more. Finally ate an extra fruit, but even that didn't do it. So calories last night sucked. Dinner is usually focussed on a solid protein, chicken, salmon, or steak (1 buck chuck), with some veggies and maybe a tablespoon of rice or potatoes. Instead of the extra fruit, i should have had popcorn or jerky. I was really frustrated with myself. I don't know if it was the stress of being at school that tipped me over the edge (if so, I'm in BIG trouble) or because I skipped lunch. I KNOW, STUPID. I wasn't hungry at lunch time and was busy quilting. I didn't think about eating until almost 3 pm, so I figured why bother, I'll just wait a couple of hours and have dinner. That way, I can have a piece of bread. Again, more carbs. So now I see, that I have to eat on schedule, just to keep the hungries under control AND I have to stay way from those damn carbs. Very frustrated with myself.

Dang forgot the link Eat Better America give it a try!

Dang, I lost my post again!!! Anyway, short version. Janet, thanks for the Eat Right Am. website. Made Mexican Pasta Skillet, only 370 cals per 1 1/2 cups, I made it with super lean hamburger so my cals were less and I only ate one cup. yummmm