cramerk

Candice...maybe you should take Wood into the vet and get an IV to rehydrate him. That should hold him until DH comes home and then you can make the 'hard' decision. Thanks Steph for reminding me about the paleo stuff at the U. I'll check into it. I have been working on powerpoints it is just so time consuming. Soda....actually my lap doc says soda is okay as long as I listen to what my band says. I drink it without any problems. I just no longer have a 'taste' for it. Probably have had 3 soda's in the last 3 months. Didn't really enjoy them. Now offer me a Skinny Iced Hazelnut Latte.. different story. Sad news, I have worked my espresso machine to death...it is whimpering...barely spirts a spit. So...yes you may yell...but I have my priorities...I may not be able to buy clothes or afford latte's at Starbucks, by the way I LOVE their instant....but i'll be DAMNED if I'm going to live without latte's...So...burned some plastic...ordered a new espresso machine. There I said it, if you tell anyone I will deny it, and say that you all bought it and sent it to me. I get my flavorings at the liquor store for $4 a big bottle, like a 5th of hard liquor. That lasts me a week, so I feel like I am pampered for $16 a month. Yep it is a luxury, but I'm NOT going to appologize for it and I'm not giving it up. I'd say sex goes first, but that went 13 years ago.

Morning Ladies, Miss Molly decided to get up at 4:15...so I guess I'm up as well. Got on the scale this morning and shock of all things...I lost another pound! So I guess the Bcomplex and amino acids are working. I did not DESERVE to lose a pound after eating the entire box of Samoa Girl Scout cookies this weekend AND sitting on my butt. But I'm going to take it and run like the wind and hope the weight fairy doesn't catch me. If I go with what Dr. Ortiz said, then I have only 12 more pounds to go!!!! However, that won't change how I eat. Right now I'm in a blueberry, yogurt, Kashi kick. I'd eat it for every meal if I could...and sometimes I do. It's my backup meal. Yesterday I was realling craving carbs, so I had some Laughing Cow on crackers for lunch. Light Laughing Cow only has 35 cals per wedge and the crackers were some large multi-grain ones. I could have 3 crackers for 70 cals. Wrapped it up with a pear. Not much stick-to-itness, but if fed the cravings. Here is where my trouble lies. Typically I have breakfast at about 7 am, fruit/veggie snack around 11 am, then Lunch around 1:00. Then I'm hungry from then on, no matter what I eat. So 6 hours between breakfast and lunch and 5 hours between lunch and dinner. After dinner, watch out...I'm on a see-food diet. I could eat non stop till I go to bed. I do have my SF Fudgebars, 100cal popcorn, and occasionally a small skinny decaf latte that I make. Of all the things, the coffee, seems to satisfy the hungry monster. It doesn't seem to be about bulk or type of food, which tells me it is head hunger. Any suggestions would be appreciative. On weekends I have to remember to eat...during the week...ooooooooh watch out, if your fingers got in the way, I may bite you. Gee, shall we analyze a little stress here? Steph, we are glad that you are back, we miss you. I'm with Janet, Karri needs an intervention. If she can post on facebook...she can pop in once in awhile. Do we have germs?????????? Karri, just giving you grief, but we miss you also, along with Linda, and Kari. The Lucky 7's seems to be a 4 person gig? Anyway, you all have a good day, TTFN

Sorry, lost my post. So Janet, was the 'eating crow' their way of bribing you all not to scream when they furloughed you? To hell with the check, give me the hours. Steph, I'm glad things are going okay. So where is Michael's facility? Billing? The Boys' & Girls' Ranch? Janet, on teaching, I use to love it and the money didn't matter. Now each year because they keep changing my schedule I have to start over. Yesterday, excluding teaching time, I spent 7 hours trying to come up with earth science lessons. But didn't come up with much. I have to create everything from scratch, every reading, notes, worksheets, lab, quiz, projects, and tests. I work and work and can't find the top of the pile. I don't know what to do. Cry is on top of the list. It use to be worth it, because I made a difference now I'm just babysitting. It is to the point that I pretty much wipe their noses. there is no such thing as a failing grade or late assignment. Oh well, that's life.

Janet, my daughter loves the Zoomba classes, she says it is a great exercise. Phyl, way to go on the shopping spree!! You make me proud!!! Janet, on the food amount...I'm with you. I can eat 2 cups in the morning, but by evening I still struggle with solid protein, which then makes me lazy and I eat blueberries & yogurt, which is back to 2 cups. Last night I ate extremely slow and was able to get down about 3 oz of Salmon and about 1/2 c pasta. Not the best choice, I should have had veggies instead of pasta. Snack was good, I had my SF Fudge bars and some fruit. All the puppies are up and grouchy. Usually the 2 older sleep in with DD#4, but this morning they decided getting up and barking at 4:45 was a better idea. So now they are bickering about who gets to sleep in my lap. What a way to start the day. Did not get all my school work done, even though I worked on if for 4 hours. What a pain, good thing I don't have a life. Tonight will be a repeat. It would be nice to just be caught up once in awhile. Oh well, another day, another $1.25. You guys have a good day. TTFN

Janet, I know that he was my 'night in shining armour' and it may or may not have worked. I'm just ticked that I didn't have a chance to find out. But mainly I'm sad that his life is over, he was a good man. Took care of his ailing father until his dad passed. Worked with his brother, worked for the VA Admin., taught adult computer classes. He had a lot to offer and was only 51. Decent day at work. Couple of teachers asked how the 'coffee date' went, just said 'no show' and left it at that. Suppose to be evaluated by the master's program tomorrow, but I am giving a test, so have to reschedule. Oh well. Need to read and write a paper, develop a unit by Nov. 8th, come up with a Leadership project, what was I thinking. And they say this is the easy time. Next year will be even crazier. Tonight is the night to get it together, I will spend all night doing lesson plans, writing a test, and figure out how to teach earth science without supplies. NO MORE just winging it. Dinner tonight is salmon. I've got the stress going so it may stick, hope not. Back on the food plan and doing well today. Check in later. TTFN

Phyl, you'll get back on track!!! It's tough when you aren't doing your own cooking. Plus family wants to shower you with 'love' and we all know that means food. Plus now that you can exercise more, the weight will just fall off. Back to school today, and don't have a single thing ready, oh well. I'll get it together today. Then come home, work out and eat some tilapia. That's the plan anyway. You all have a good day. TTFN

Back on the food program, in fact haven't been able to eat much today, everything is sticking. I did call Jeff's brother and left a message asking him if he would send me some pictures and the wedding ring I bought Jeff. I don't know if he will send them, but I'd like to have the rings together as a pair. They have little or no value because neither of us had much money when we bought them. Maybe a couple of hundred all together. But as Steph says, use this as a reminder to not let moments pass. The rings will be a good reminder. Steph, glad you made it home safe. Fill us in on the birthday dinner. Thanks everyone for the support. I appreciate it. And I learned something. I can 'fall off the wagon' and get back on. Usually when I fail I never get back to eating right. However, I do need to do some retraining with my kids. They knew how upset I was so the showered me with chocolate gifts. So the bag of chocolate kisses will go in the freezer. Well going to watch Three Rivers. TTFN

Yeah tomorrow is another day. I will need to get back on the program. I didn't pay all this money to gain back the weight. I just can't stop beating myself up over why I didn't call him years ago. I miss him, I want him back, and it pisses me off that it is too late. Its not fair, I thought there was time. I figured I'd loose some more weight then call him and find out if he had someone and if not I was going to invite him up to Montana. Nothing is making me feel better. I tried food, I tried exercise, there isn't anything else that is going to work.

Just ate and entire box of girl scout cookies.....

Walked my 3 miles. Got some soup on the stove and a latte at my elbow. I'm going to celebrate the little things. Karri, glad you checked in. Sounds like you are working hard. I need to do some reading for my master's class. I'm telling myself that just because I don't have to pay for it, doesn't mean I don't do my best. Right now my focus sucks. Need to figure out how to teach earth science with zero materials. Yeah, teach about rocks and minerals with a rock or a mineral. Teach about mapping without a map or globe. Should just be a blast. But if the school doesn't feel the program needs materials, there isn't anything I can do about it. Maybe when the superintendent's kid AND the high school principals kid complains some money will come through. We can afford to put a teacher on 2 weeks of administrative leave while they 'investigate' whether she 'delibrately' scratched a kid. Hum...a sub costs $70 a day, and they paid for 10 days worth, $700 would have bought a lot of science materials. But it makes my job easier, if I don't have supplies, I don't have to do labs. I refuse to pay for anything myself. For one, I can't afford it, for another, schools rely on teachers buying what they need and spend their money elsewhere. How about an $8000 Adobe program that no one knows how to use, or a pitching machine that is set up only for 'little league'. Or the 8 football coaches? Hey we aren't here to teach, we are here to entertain.

Battling depression eating...failed miserably last night. Should have just gone and bought the ice cream, probably would have eaten less calories.

Finally got my fat butt moving, cleaning and laundry. Managed to waste 2 days. Oh well. Hope you all are having a good weekend. Steph drive safe. You always have made a home. Love is what it takes and you have more than enough to go around.

Steph, can I be your charity???? Just joking. I think the idea of donating your Christmas to charity is fabulous. No I haven't shed tears over the fireman, but many over an old love who I just found out died. One of the reasons I didn't call him was that I was ashamed of how I looked. I had gained so much weight since we were together that I didn't want him to see me. But in the back of my mind was once I lost the weight I was going to give him a call. I can still hear his voice, "Hi babe", he always called me that. okay lock it up! Sorry. Steph hope the birthday dinner was good!

Janet, Candice, I'm jealous!! You both will have a blast. Play some slots for me (actually i like craps better) and win me $10,000. That would get me totally out of debt and then I could breath again!!!

Janet, I'm not calling tonight, I need to not talk about things. I have things under control, by a thread. So I'll probably call later this weekend.

Went for a walk, didn't make 3 miles, but at least it was some exercise. Candice hope to do some sewing tomorrow. I need to get my head together. I've wasted 2 days. Janet, what's the news on the job furlough???

Wallered in some Russel Stovers chocolate now going for a walk. Had 4 pieces, yep I know, shouldn't have, but its done and over with and I don't want anymore so it won't be a problem. Use to eat the entire box, so in comparison 4 pieces is better. Have a roast and carrots in the crockpot, accomplished nothing today other than giving myself puffy eyes and a headache. So hopefully the walk will clear the head and the heart a little bit. Thanks for listening, its time to put a wall around it and lock the door. Nothing can be gained from wishing things were different. Life goes on.

Got a return call from my old love's brother. I guess he was killed in a motorcycle accident and that he still loved me and talked about me frequently. He had beaten the drugs and had found some peace in his church. Both of us had thought the other had moved on, but neither of us had. I guess my life is a soap opera. So I'll cry for awhile and then go forward. His brother appreciated my call and is having a rough time of it. So when you find happiness hold onto it tight and never let it go. Jackie, do what you have to so that you can find happiness. Live your life without regrets! It's the 'would haves' and 'should haves' that you don't want later.

Janet, does furlough me 'laid off'? Oh girl I hope not! I'm okay, I'd like to find out how he died. I called his brother and left a message, but don't know if he will return my call. I AM going to get something accomplished today. Just haven't figured out what yet. Sitting here drinking my latte, I do make a good one. Then eat some Breakfast, then throw a roast in the crockpot. Need to run to the store and get some carrots. Phyl, sounds like you need to kick back a little. Candice thanks for the IM last night. Janet, I may give you a call tonight, just needing a chat. Check in later. TTFN

Quiet night...I accomplished nothing today, so hopefully tomorrow will be better. Stuck on dinner, oh well. I know I need to be positive about life, but it is hard tonight. I want to start the next stage of life, but it seems like fate has me stuck. I used the Secret this morning and it didn't work. Just ignore me, I guess I have to have a bit of a pity party. You all are great, but I am giving up. I will just live out my life as it is.

Just found out an old friend, actually an old love died in May. It was a wonderful man that I was engaged to when I lived in Nevada. I dated him after my divorce and we planned on getting married, but 2 weeks before the wedding, he got busted for drugs. I didn't even know he used. Despite the drugs, he was the one man who loved me for who I was and never tried to control me. But because of the drug bust we couldn't get married because my 2 youngest girls were still young and I couldn't run the risk of their dad using that to take them away. Yep I still loved him, but only called him when his dad died a few years ago. I figured that he had moved on with his life and I was the only one who had some feelings. He died alone. I'm trying to get up the nerve to call his brother and find out what happened. He was only 51. Damn, I'm mad...talk about would haves and should haves. He tried to get into a drug treatment center, but they told him he didn't have enough of an addiction to be given a bed.

Janet, technically the timezone map only shows us as 1 hour different, but it appears that it is 2 hours apart. Do you guys to the Daylight savings time, the 'spring forward' or 'fall back'? I know that Arizona doesn't do it. So probably you guys don't either, so you will catch up with us in a few weeks. That or I went at the wrong time. Yeah that's my luck. Dozed off and on most of the afternoon. Finally got rid of my headache. Big accomplishment, loaded & ran the dishwasher. whup whup.

Yeah, the meeting was at 10, I got there at 9:55, waited until 10:15, then left. Yep, I'm still crying. Hell with f him and his horse, how about shoot him and sell the horse.

Janet, I use to love Christmas too. Made Christmas candy from my favorite aunts recipes. Decorated EVERYTHING, played carols, etc. now I'm lucky if I put up a tree and it comes in a box. Actually Christmas is hard for me. I don't like to go out and about during December because I see all the couples strolling hand in hand and I HATE IT. My kids are scattered around and have to spread themselves between in-law, dad, and me. I keep telling them to skip me totally and give me a gift of a long weekend with all my girls home. But they don't take me seriously, now I am crying. CRAP, CRAP.

Well, Janet you were wrong, coffee date was a no show. I thought positively all the way into town. "He'll be there, He'll be there", but nope. I had a good iced latte, and now a headache, so I'm home in my comfy clothes and some grapes (better than chocolate) and I'll read a book. I am TRYING to tell myself...His loss...but it is only kindof working. I will NOT take it personally...yeah that's really working. So all worked up over nothing.