cramerk

Okay, I have some zanax left, I'm thinking I am going to have to take some. I am so totally jittery. Close to hyperventalating, mind is racing. I know this is stupid, but I just can't stop my head or my heart. I'm pacing the house. AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHH

Janet, I've never done sheetrock, but with all the new taping supplies it isn't to hard from what I understand. I am so incredibly tight, I was suppose to go in for a fill this week, but stress has be sticking on yogurt, so I think I better put it off for a couple weeks. Tried to take a nap after getting home, yep I went and bought the mirror, but my mind painted the new livingroom 3 times and put in french doors at least twice. So I gave up on the nap. I work at the nursery tomorrow. Our weather has been glorious, a real spring, it will probably snow when I try to move. Got the livingroom packed so I can wash walls and shampoo. Most of the kitchen is packed except 2 plates, saucers, cups, and silverware. tomorrow I tear apart beds so I can shampoo bedrooms. We will move everything so we are living in just the 'family room' that has laminent floor and the kitchen and bathroom. I figure IF we close this week it will be on Thursday, so I plan on moving everything to storage on Wednesday. It will just be DD#4 & I. Well best get back to something, TTFN

Okay, I'm here, but the computer was giving me grief, touch one key and 3 letters would show up. But now after a reboot it seems to be working. It is one of many things that seem to working VERY weird. Washing machine floods, I played with the hoses, now it is fine. Dryer quits, pull it apart, but can't get into the moving parts, now it works. Refrigerator quits, I move it away from the wall play with the temperature regulator, now it works. This has been too weird.!!!! Went to Red Robin for dinner, had a 1/2 bowl of french onion soup, 1/4 of a salad, and ice cream to celebrate. Other than the ice cream, it was a good food day. I have really been focusing on eating solids and that seems to be working. I seem to be having the first bite pain, which has had me stop eating and moving to easy food. Yesterday, I nibbled through and the pain went away, and I was able to eat about 3 oz of turkey and was full. So that is my goal today. Found the most perfect big mirror for the new livingroom. Didn't get it, but I after sleeping on it, I'm going back into town. It is a large beveled mirror with the antique brown that goes with my furniture. Well, best get going, packing, packing, TTFN

My birthday isn't until the 30th, but I have to work at the nursery. Yeah, I know DD#5 doesn't have clue, but it still hurts. Anyway today was the last day before a weeklong break from school. I'll be working at the nursery every day, but if the plants talk back, I'll just snip their little roots! I'm actually going out tonight. Going to meet up with the couple that did my roof for pizza and beer. I probably haven't gone out for over 10 years. Don't know if I remember how to act like an adult. I'm going to try my computer tonight, it has been 48 hours for it to dry out, I can't imagine that the milk from my latte did to well. I did get the washing machine working, don't know how, and had to work on the dryer, it decided to quit last night with a load of wet blankets in it. I it is working for the time being. I looked up when I bought it and found out it was only 3 years and 8 months. The warrenty is only for 3 years, figures. I probably should go groom up a bit, so I'll check in later, TTFN

I haven't tried my computer yet, so you are all right, I'm on DD#4's. I'll give it a shot tonight. Candice, I missed the whole thing about going to work, ARE YOU CRAZY!! Take the time and enjoy every moment of freedom. I'm suppose to work this weekend, but I'm taking it off. DD#3 is coming up to celebrate my 29th birthday for the 22 time. I will spend the entire weekend packing. The realtor says we MIGHT close next weekend. I went over to the new house to inspect the required corrections the sellers made. I must say, the owner is one handy guy. Everytime I go in the house gets smaller and smaller. This is a good thing...RIGHT! I'm having a bit of a pity party. DD#5 is on spring break and is NOT coming home for my birthday or to help move. The university is only 20 miles a way and I have only seen her twice since Christmas and Christmas was only for 4 days. She is going to Colorado with the boyfriend and then going to Roundup to spend 4 days with ex #1 and his wife. (Remember, he is my first ex, and DD#4's dad is my 2nd ex.) Well the ex's wife's birthday is the day after mine, so DD#5 is going to Roundup to celebrate her birthday. It hurts. I know it shouldn't. Now if we close next week, none of my children, except DD#4 will be here to help me move. Because they all will be in Roundup to celebrate the ex's wife's birthday. Am I really that unloveable of a person? I must have really messed up raising them. I didn't date this last 14 years so I could be a good mom. Worked multiple jobs to buy them what they needed and evidently it wasn't enough. I really thought I did a decent job, I guess none of it really mattered. Sorry, emotions are hyperstrung since dad died. DD#5 never even went to see dad this last year. I figured it was because she couldn't handle it, but maybe it is because she didn't give a rats behind about anyone but herself. She isn't coming come this summer. She is going to go live with DD#2. Okay, sorry about all the complaining, that is all I seem to do lately.

I do believe yesterday was about the worse day ever. Besides getting locked out of the house and not getting my nap, I may have destroyed my computer (using DD#4's right now). I was settled in for the night, shower done, latte at hand getting ready to watch a little TV AND...the latte jumped out of my (all on it's own) and did a swan dive onto my laptop, an entire super hot milk and SF Irish Cream latte. Called the Geek Squad, so currently my laptop is sitting inside a pillow case, inside a garbage bag of rice. SUCH an idiot!!! The darn thing isn't even paid for yet! I doubt that latte accidents are covered under warranty. So we will see if it works later today. grrrrrrrrrrrr On other notes, Phyl I will buy one of the rounds to see you 'over indulged'. Janet, we love your food cop! Candice, I hate having to load ANYTHING on my computer. If they would just write the instructions in English it would help. Or even better, when they don't write the instructions on paper, but they are in the program. DUH, if I could load the program I wouldn't need the stupid instructions. Just made a running trip outside, forgot to take the garbage out to the curb (okay we don't have curbs), road, I forgot this morning was garbage day and they pick up between 4 and 5 am. I was lucky, got it out with one house to spare. Let me tell you about our garbage men, just think of the soup guy on Sienfeld. IF the can isn't just right, they won't pick it up. If you have one item out of the can, they charge you $30 to open the cab door and pick it up. I want that job!! The school had a special board meeting on Tuesday to discuss our budget deficiet (sp). Anyway, many community members and one board member stated, on the record, that teachers should take a 5 to 10% cut in pay because teaching is not a 'real' job. Also, if the band parents can fund raise enough money for the band to go to Disneyland to play in a concert, they could fund raise to run the school. Naturally there is NO discussion about cuts in sports. I guess the atmosphere was so anti-teacher, that most teachers who attended were pretty skeeved out. There was concern that the middle school would loose positions, so most middle school teachers went to see what was going to happen. It is pretty sad when we work our butts off and still get slammed. If we are forced to take a 5 - 10% cut in salary, plus the increase in insurance premiums, I will have to seriously think about leaving. I can make more money working at McDonalds and not have the grief. I really thought the community had a better understand of what we do. Heck we don't really teach any more, I spend more time on discipline and emotional issues than I do teaching. Oh well, no big deal. Best get going, TTFN

Hey Steph...did you and Rose find a treadle sewing machine in the basement? Hey if all else fails all us montanians can meet and Rose's house and party like crazy with Candice. Came home with the furries, took the garbage out and was locked out of the house. My realtor has my only key and I never lock the handles just the deadlocks. Well after the appraiser left, my realtor locked all the deadlocks and all the handles. So when I went outside I couldn't get back in and all the furries where running rampant through the house. Had to walk to a friends house, call the realtor to let me in. By the time I got in the furries had tore apart a bunch of 'realtor alert' decorations, pine cones, seeded balls, etc. Then go outside again and lock myself out again. Fortunately this time at least one door was totally unlocked. so much for my nap. Food was all healthy today, just too much, stress eating. Janet, I need you to come live with me and food cop me! Well, I'm tired, so I'm going to go for now, I'll check in after dinner, TTFN

Okay folks, today is the day, the last hurdle...the appraisal of my house I'm selling. So at 1 pm mountain standard time, keep fingers crossed, prayers asked. The roof will be done. I'm nervous as all get out!! Simon is feeling a bit better, he ate a couple bites of food. The pepto went down okay. It's bad enough I stress myself out, but now I stress out the dog. Dinner last night was heavenly....spinach salad and FRESH strawberies. This is the type of food I wish was available everyday. I put just a small amount of poppyseed dressing, 1/2 egg, cheese, and chopped bacon on the spinach. Strawberries I put a package of Sun Crystals, 5 cal sweetener, and they were glorious. Just link summer!! Well you all have a good day!!!

The vet called, Simon has stress colitus. He is overwhelmed. So we are giving him some pepto and a bland diet for a few days. Is there anything else I need to deal with. So the furries go to the kennel tomorrow and hopefully the day away from upheavel will help Simon to calm down.

I have a sick puppy. Simon, our wired haired doxi has been vomiting all day, clear, and now has some rectal bleeding, oozing, but bleeding none the less. Called the vet and waiting for a return call. His tummy seems tender, so I think he has some type of digestional irritation. So do you think I need to rush him to the emergency vet. It will cost $300 just to walk in the door. The appraisal is tomorrow...I think I am hyperventalating. This is the last hurdle...I had an anxiety attack at school today. I am just going crazy. My face is broke out, I'm either overeating or pbing.auuuuuuuuuuuuhhggg

Phyl, gorgeous set. So did you nag at Earl for 'staying' out so late? A little payback! You know, I really hate "limbo land". STILL don't know when the appraisal is going to be done....They are going to have a nice surprise if they try to close on April 16th. There is NO WAY I can close that weekend as I am on campus AND DD#2 can not come and help. Dinner last night was not good, got down about 1 inch square of steak and pbed it, nice. I chewed and chewed. I was still starving, but nothing stayed down. Ended up eating some blueberries, yogurt & Kashi. I am way not pleased with DD#4...she has ran up a cell phone bill that is in my name so high that NO ONE will tell me what it is. I know I could just look, but I probably don't want to know. I DO know that she paid $800 yesterday that she begged off her dad and that the cell phone company now has her on a payment plan. I am kicking her off, but can't until the bill is paid. NOT HAPPY, she needs to grow up.

Made a fill appointment for next week. Hopefully that will help get back on the 'band'wagon. Found out today that I have to pay a monthly fee for water and sewer at my new house. DUH, what was I thinking. I pay $50 a month and then if I go over the 'basic' amount I have to pay per gallon. There is going to be a lot less grass put in. I can't afford to water grass and trees. Trees are more important. Also found out that I have to install a water meter at $210 and have a plumber do it. the seller's didn't disclose this in the listing, so we are try to get the sellers to pay half and to install it. We will see. I can't wait to move, my mind is just racing of all the decorating ideas. but I will have to go slow, because of $$$, that really irritates me. Oh well. I have decided that painting all the kitchen cabinets indigo will be too dark. So I am going to paint them a dark cream and then paint a Frank Lloyd Wright 'window' pane on to top ones. I think it would be cool to use metal tiles as a backsplash, and I won't need many, so I think I will be able to afford those.

Way to go Candice!!! It looks like Steph's RV sleeps 4 if you knock the table down. I don't know what type it was, but it is about the size and look of the little ones you can rent. Candice, I'll take you up on that challenge, we will have to find a suitable 'prize'. Steph thinks her mom might have a treadle sewing machine that she would be willing to part with for a price. We will see. Washing machine just overflowed and flooded the utility room. Evidently the water level sensor for the cold water malfunctioned and won't shut the water off. So for right now I turned off the cold water valve and switched the hoses. Not a perminant solution, but one that will work. I'll have to check into fixing it, if it is too much, I'll just junk it. The new house has an old washing machine in it that should last me awhile so I can save some $$ to replace it. When it rains it pours...literally. Helped the roofers this morning so didn't make it into town for costco. I'll have to run in after work sometime this week. I still need to clean house. I'm just tired. The Beast is up and running. The mechanic says that it wasn't just my imagination the Beast DOES purr. He said the engine is in great shape. He also checked all the belts, etc and says it is good to go. AND my CRV IS designed to run 85,000 miles without a tune up, infact it is designed to run 110,000 miles, so she doesn't need any work!! Was going to cook some steak tonight, but DD#4 is on a date, so I don't feel like cooking just for me. We hit 75 degrees today, but rain clouds are now rolling in and we have an 80% chance of rain tomorrow. My cabinets are faky dark wood covered, think the 70's. The don't have handles or anything. Maybe I should go with a warm tan, almost a latte? or just continue the grey throughout.

Had a good time with Steph!! They were buying a little RV to take to her kettle korn events. It is very cute. We didn't get to go to dinner, it was prom night for most of the schools, so all the restraunts where packed. Well, I bit the bullet and stepped on the scale yesterday....I gained about 5 pounds, 177, I SWORE it was 20! No, I'm not saying 5 is good, but I am excited to know that my body is adjusting to its new weight and can recognize a gain. In my fat life time, it would be 20 pounds before I realized I gained. So new start, AGAIN, Roof is almost done, been browsing magazines for paint and decorating ideas. I know I am painting the livingroom Escape Grey (it's what I have now), a beautiful color that has green, blue, and turquise undertones and goes well with my brown and grey furniture. I will carry this into the kitchen with the wall that is shared with the living room. The other walls will be a bisque color. I'm still debating on the color of the cabinets. I'd like to bring in some indigo. Originally I thought I would go with indigo cabinets, but now I'm leaning towards the grey or even the bisque. I'm thinking on painting some of the cabinets to look like a Frank Lloyd Wright windows and bring in the indigo there. The kitchen is pretty small so I'm afraid that if I paint them all indigo, they will overwhelm the kitchen. So what do you all think? Well should get busy, need to run to town and be back in time for the mechanic to work on The Beast. Then he is going to give my CRV a tune up, who knew that a car is not designed to go 85,000 miles without a tuneup? hum, TTFN

Sorry Candice, got home last night after school, went and got the furries from puppy daycare (they can't handle the roofers), came home and took a nap and didn't wake up until 8 pm! I guess I was tired. But guess what!!! Steph's in Missoula and we are getting together today! Congrats Candice on the weight loss! I USE to be at 172, now I don't know. I have gained, big time. My pants that were loose are getting snug, so today...I guess I will step on the scale. It won't be fun. I do fine all day and then evening just sucks. I need to get it together! Talked with a couple of old friends. One my mechanic who is going to come to fix The Beast (1977 Silverado truck). The Beast's ignition switch collapsed around the key. Then he is going to give my CRV a tune up. He tells me that she probably should have had one 20,000 miles ago. OOOPs! but she hasn't complained. By the way, my mechanic has a psychic connection to vehicles. He can 'feel' what is wrong with them and they 'talk' to them. My CRV told him, that she was a girl and that she liked the name Honey. OKAAAAAAAAAY. But he is a HECK of a mechanic and does my work on the 'side' so it doesn't cost me as much as if I took it into a shop. I feel like I am going to be running around in circles this weekend. Too many committments and not enough time. Need to feed the roofers, mega grocery shop, meet Steph, go check out a mattress (new Queen size pillow top on Craigslist for $259), be here for the mechanic, work on packing, laundry, take dogs to kennel, pick up dogs, pay bills. It is going to be a rollercoaster today and tomorrow. Anyway, check in later, TTFN

Dang I can't believe I missed you all, but I just got home. Had to run to the nursery, about 30 miles south of here in hamilton. My boss was doing spring clearing of some of the older B&B trees, they are heading for the burn pile, so she said I should come down and tag as many as i want. So I got a scotch pine, a HUGE Austrian Pine, 3 big flowering crab, 3 thieves poplars, a twisted Japanese Lilac, 3 - 20 ft birch trees, and 3 of something else. About $2000 worth of trees for free, my boss is a sweetheart. Then had to turn around and go north for 50 miles into Missoula to pick up a table someone was selling and my latte frother died, then turn around and head home, 20 miles. So I am just getting ready for dinner. By the way Candice, you are one beeeeeeeeeeutiful woman!!! Absolutely gorgeous!!! Well I'm hungry, so I best go eat, TTFN

Had a nice long Skype chat with Janet. Too much fun! Gosh this morning I hate mornings. I'm just beat. So tired I'm nausious! Went to be at about 10 pm, but couldn't shut off the brain. Candice, I think I would have hurt the man!! You are nicer than I am, but then again, that probably is why I am single. I don't like anyone telling me what I can or cannot do, especially with money. But then again, that could be why I am broke! House stuff moving along. we start roofing today and hopefully will close by the 31st of March. The only hurdle is the appraisal for my old house, so hope all goes well. Got my insurance set for the new house. I'm calling today to find out what the fencing regulation are about and to the mechanic to get my truck fixed. Need to pull the stering column and change the oil. Well best get going, TTFN

Happy St Patrict's day!! to all you Irish! We have a staff member who is Very Italian, so I have to decide, do I go with wearing of the green for St Patty's day, or do I go for the wearing of the ORANGE! I look horrid in orange, so it will probably be green. talked to my realtor last night. We could close today IF the people who are buying my house had all their stuff together, unfortunately they do not. They haven't even ordered the inspection. Oh well, keep your fingers crossed for good weather for the next 4 days so we can get the roof done! One week, 3 days until a week off from school. I have to work at the nursery everyday so it won't be a total vacation, but it will be different and I need different. Have been enjoying the last couple of days being home by myself. DD#4 is doing an overnight babysitting job. Connected up with an old friend, okay...old lover through facebook. Nice to visit with, but have ZERO plans on 'hooking up'. He is a control freak, and I don't need that type of relationship again. Well still tough getting up this morning. I can't wait till the weekend!! of course I'll still be getting up early, just not at 4:30. They did the well log yesterday, my well runs 17 gals per hour. Pretty darn good for this part of the country. Also only took him 2 hours instead of 6, so it only is going to cost me $250 instead of closer to $800. I have been finding some really sweet stenciling ideas for the new house. I think I am going to paint a sky sceen on the ceiling of my sewing room. It is pretty low and has slatted pannels, so I'll make it look like a lattice and put sky and vines and maybe some birds, etc. on it. NOW I'm started to get excited!! Well be get going, TTFN

Feel better Denise... Candice, man you make me tired jjust listening to you! Congrats on the PS appointment. That will be so exciting! I know that my mom would qualify as a horder, but only because she is too lazy to throw anything out. My parents house has buned down twice, so we joke about it being time for another fire. It is the only thing that makes her house livable. Well okay it isn't livable, it is so dirty that you don't take your shoes off and sleep in your clothes with your hood up on your sweatshirt so something doesn't crawl on you. Embarassingly enough it also smells like dog urine. Her carpet is almost 30 years old (since the last fire) and it has never been shampooed. I think that is why I shampoo the daylights out of mine! Oh and good job on the food!! Hard time getting up today, DD#4 is doing a several day overnight babysitting job, so you puppy can't settle and gets up several times a night. I sure could sleep more. Have a field trip with my 7th graders today. Films at the Internation Wild Life cinima (sp). Then pizza and ice skating. Have to drop the furries at puppy daycare since the well man is coming to pull the well and make a well log. Other than that, all my paperwork is done for the house selling/buying. We start reroofing on Wednesday, pray for no rain!!! Suppose I best get going, TTFN

Love the necklace Phyl. Okay folks, we all need to get on Skype, it is an internet video call where you talk and see the person. I just got off from chatting with DD#5, and it was a hoot. She actually TALKED!!! You actually can have more than 2 people on at a time even, its like a video conference and it is FREE. Give it some thought, I could have DD#5 walk everyone through it.

Food was much better today, I ate 1/2 a small hamburger with a little ketchsup and mustard. Snack as a banana & almond butter, 100 cal popcorn and my normal breakfast. I actually stayed full for most of the day and could have skipped the popcorn. I let 'habit' win, but I didn't let mindless snacking win. I'm still over on calories, but it is better. I finally am able to say, "I'm hungry, so what." Hunger has never been my issue, it is stress that get's me. I am home alone for the next few days, so it will be a bit of a challenge. I get lazy. I have some salmon in the frig already cooked, but it ended up dry and it sticks, so I think I'll toss it. I did look at my favorite Marie Callendar meal at the store, but when I read the 530 calories it stayed at the store. Another win for me. I think I'll put my fill on hold for now, I don't think I'm really eating solids like I should. Oranges don't seem to be a solid for me. I plan on being lazy today, no school work to do!! a rare event. so I think I'll take my shower, watch a little TV, I need to mop, but that is about it. Already oiled all the wood in the house when I got home. Phyl is quiet today. Janet, put f--- Y--- under the stamps of the envelopes, I't will make you feel better, check in later, TTFN

Exactly right Candice, I have been so self absorbed I didn't notice Janets new pic until this morning, I LOVE the pic!! We could talk about clutter, this was the first weekend without realtor alert, so I actually have dirty dishes on the counter...I was SO looking forward to that, but guess what, it is bugging me. Actually I have a small excuse. I had a huge master's project due today, and I didn't really start until Sunday afternoon. NOT my best work. Saturday, DD#5 and her boyfriend came home from college for a home cooked meal, and SHE did the cooking. I feel REALLY honored, because rarely comes home even though she is only 20 miles away. Sunday, I spent ALL morning with the realtor, responding to the inspection on my new house. Nothing big, needs a new hotwater heater or at least a new element, a couple of minor electrical issues (new braker in the braker box) and 3 windows that have lost their seal (double pane with moisture between the panes). I'm tentatively scheduled for a fill this week, but now I'm not sure. Every time I tried to eat solid protein, I stuck. So maybe I will postpone it for a few weeks. I don't know. Candice you are doing a fabulous job. I am doing 'better' on my eating, but it is still too much crap. I don't know about the rest of you, but I had a heck of a time going to bed and 4:30 (3:30) came WAY too early. But it was a glorious day yesterday. I need to head down to the nursery later this week and tag the trees I want. We field grow most of our own trees and then burlap and ball them in the spring for sale. My boss also identifies the ones that are too crooked or lost their tops to go into the burn pile. These trees I get for free. They may not start out pretty, but after a few years you can't really tell that they were garbage material. Well since I didn't do much cleaning this weekend, I best get going and get some of it done before work. See you all tonight. Hang in there Phyl and make a doctor appointment.

Unfortunately the mattress will stay where it is until I move. The Beast (1977 Silverado Crew cab truck) needs its steering column pulled, so it isn't running. Plus I never feel too comfortable driving it in Missoula, but what can you expect for $500. I'm going in today to give the owner a deposit and then they will hang on to it until I move. Buy then the Beast will be running. Yeah Janet, I'm with you, I HATE spring forward. The only good thing is that my students will be comatose for a few days because they can't handle it either. Need to clean today. bleck!! TTFN

Howdy, went outside and dug in the dirt, makes me feel SO good. I wasn't about to leave my ginkgo tree behind, so dug it up and put it in a huge pot. Hope it lives, I probably didn't get as many roots as I should have. But it is 10 ft tall and grows extremely slow. I replaced it wil a cheapo amur maple that I had in a pot on my deck. Ginkgo, big bucks, amur maple...less than $10 for me on wholesale. I am resisting digging up my pussywillow, I can get those pretty cheap at work. Janet, Phyl, sounds like you had a good time. I don't think I've ever had cornbeef & cabbage. Just bought a new queen sized pillow top mattress & box springs, still in the plastic for $250 on craigslist, whopwhop.

Long day, got two of the repairs done on my house, roof starts on Thursday. Had the inspection done on the house I'm buying. Yep feeling pretty overwhelmed. I don't know HOW I'm going to live without garage storage. Found out that one of my new neighbors has a BIG @SS dog and their house/yard is trashed. Junk everywhere, overgrown, house looks ready to fall down. My brain is on overdrive, so many things to think about. Got a call from the mortgage co people and we are going to have to put everything into overdrive. The government funding is going to run out of money at the end of April, so if both my buyer and I want to get the Rural Development loans, we need to get everything done & closed by the first part of April. The only hurdle left is the appraisals, the one on my new house will be done on Monday. Food was good today, breakfast was my normal blueberries/yogurt/Kashi, lunch was a chef salad & about 1 tble of ranch, 100 cal popcorn, & blueberries/yogurt/Kashi for dinner. I have a really bad headache. I'm having some strange pain in the front part of my shoulder when I eat something solid, weird.