laurie39

It wasn't really a list of "demands", it turned out to be a list of concerns. They were valid. One of his concerns was that I was just wanting him to move in so that he could pay the bills and not wanting something more. He was also concerned about the sleeping arrangements. I told him straight up that the only reason I wanted him to move back in was so that I could be a stay at home mom. It would be a long-term temporary thing. Meaning that it would be a couple of years before my daughter goes to school full-time. I would still work part-time for now but the ultimate goal is for me to be home full-time. We do have a respect for each other and we are better friends now than when we were married. Just because its what I want doesn't mean that I'm doing it for any other reason than to be with my kids. I told him that we could rearrange my bedroom so that another full-size bed would fit and neither of us would have to sleep on the couch. I only have 2 bedrooms and the boys have one, my daughter sleeps with me. My sister is worried that I can't afford to have the lapband surgery done. We are talking $1800 for 3 months of insurance plus another $500 for the max out of pocket expenses. For some I know this isn't that big of deal but to a single mom of 3, that's a lot of money. I know I won't regret having the surgery. My ex won't think its fair that he has to work to support his family while I sit at home and do nothing (his thinking). The bills that I am expecting him to pay are bills that he'd be paying anyway if he had his own place.

oh and I tried to do the Ticker and I want to see if it works.

It's been a while since I've posted an update. I went for my 1st of 3 visits to the nutritionist before my lapband surgery. I am down 8 1/2 lbs. I've decided to go ahead with the surgery instead of waiting. I've also found another job that I don't like. Its as a cashier for a national discount chain. I'm not used to standing all day long. I've sat on my butt for 10 years and standing, turning and twisting to sack stuff is hard on my lower back. The physical therapist gave me some stretching exercises to do and they've helped a little but I really don't like this job. I told my ex husband that what I want is to be a stay at home mom. If I can maintain my health insurance until my surgery I can drop it afterwards, the fills cost $150 each and that is more do-able than $600 a month. As for the stay at home mom thing, I will only be able to do that if he moves back in here...That's up in the air at the moment. He has a list of "demands" before he decides for sure. Until then I can't really make any plans. I will still qualify for COBRA insurance because the new job doesn't have full benefits. Anyway, this is my update. Everyone have a wonderful day!

In Northwest Missouri, its $13,400 for the surgery. The bariatric clinic I go to also has a $350 program fee that covers 3 months before surgery for consults with the dietician, physical therapist and psychologist. It also covers all of the pre-surgery testing like EKG, sleep apnea testing. My insurance will cover 80% but my max out of pocket expense is $500. The clencher for me is that the fills are $150 so if I want to cancel my insurance after the surgery and pay for the fills out of pocket, it'll save me $600 a month in COBRA insurance premium. Its confusing I know!!

Day 3...completely and totally sucked!!! To eat I had 3 oatmeal creme pies and a bacon ranch salad from mcd's. Now for the downer, I was terminated today. COBRA insurance will cost me $1600 per month for me and my 3 kids. If my ex puts the kids on his insurance mine will be $600. I walked out with 2 checks totaling $1700 for my last week worked and all of my accrued vacation time. I have worked there for the last 10 years and now I'm wondering what I do now. With the money today, my bonus check next week and my fed tax refund, I could make it for 3 months but my kids have to have insurance. I've got 2 kids on ADD meds, one with cerebral palsy...them not having insurance isn't an option. Do I let the lapband surgery go for now? I will still do the eating plan and the exercise. If I do the same insurance through cobra the coverage should remain the same. But what if I can't afford the payments 6 months from now or insurance from another employer doesn't cover bariatric surgery, will I be paying out of pocket for all of it? So many questions...well crap!!! I guess tomorrow I start all over. If I get a job at the hospital I would have access to the fitness center, that's a thought!! Everyone have a good night!

Well, I started day two of my 13 week doctor supervised eating plan. I go back in a month for another round of visits with the nutritionist, the physical therapist and the psychologist. I hadn't weighed myself is months and was guessimating my weight when I used the chart to figure my bmi. I was one pound heavier than I said. This center requires that I lose 10% of my excess weight prior to surgery, I have to quit smoking at least 30 days beforehand and give up Diet Coke. I was guessing I had to lose about 20 lbs but she said 18 would do. I can do that in 13 weeks. Smoking will take some work but I will do it. Diet Coke, I am cutting back and will eventually switch over to water. I'm afraid to go cold turkey on that stuff, I get migraines so I need to ween myself off. The PT had me walk for 6 minutes, not bad. He said I was in good enough shape that I would be able to start an exercise program with no problems. I'm starting with walking, 20-30 minutes 2x a week and building up from there. It's not a marathon but baby steps. I'm looking into getting the Wii Fit, which will thrill the crap out of my kids because then they get the CONSOLE and its not even Christmas! lol! I told my 12 year old that he had to do the exercise with me. The eating plan the nutritionist gave me was a point based system. I can eat anything I want but can have 22-26 points per day. Each point is 75 calories. So calorie input per day is 1600-2000. Yesterday I had 24 points. The Center also gave me a book of point conversions for all of the local restaurants. I can still do McD's with the kids but instead of a Big Mac or Quarter Pounder I get the Bacon Ranch Salad with Grilled Chicken. That's not to say I can't have a Big Mac, I just have to plan for it. She also said that I need to work on eating slower, chewing my food well and not drinking liquids with my food. I know from reading on here that that is to get me prepared for post surgery.

My son was born 12 weeks premature, the 1st check of many was just for the bed, no doctors, no drugs. That check was $316,000. He was 2 lbs 13 oz and had a grade 3 brain bleed that resulted in his having cerebral palsy. I don't understand the need to have so many kids but I won't sit here and pass judgement on the woman. She has 14 kids and the whole world is coming down on her. I feel sorry for the kids they will require special attention, who's going to give it to them? What can be done to help the kids?

I meet with the nutritionist and physical therapist tomorrow afternoon and I'm getting a little queasy about it. On top of all this my mom is having surgery to replace a hip. So many what if's are going through my head. I've done the research and think I know what they'll tell me. Losing weight is scary. One of the program requirements is that I lose 10% of my excess weight and be on their supervised diet for 13 weeks. I'm afraid they'll tell me that I didn't try hard enough to lose weight on my own, that I didn't consult my family dr enough. I know it won't be that bad when I get there. Its just taking the first step.

Furious, I think its about perspective. If you can see it for what it is you're a step ahead of everyone. You took a major step towards changing your life. You've done a wonderful job so far. As you become comfortable in your new skin, I believe it will be easier.

Honestly...I don't have a clue but when I asked my 12 yr old what piece of exercise equipment I could buy that he would use too, it was a Wii Fit. From what I can find out you can do yoga, strength training, cardio and a bunch of other stuff.

Oooh AC/DC would be good too!

Does anyone know the weight limit for the Wii Fit?

I think its just a matter of personal taste. I like 80's early 90's stuff but have pretty much everything on my mp3 player. whatever will get you going. When I walk the track I listen to kid rock.

Ronni, can you call now and find out if there a weightloss surgery rider on the insurance? I have always been able to call to see if specific things are covered. They have always been more than happy to tell me. My employer also has a copy of the policy on our HR website.