Eleda

I'm thinking very seriously about obesity surgery and found this site as a part of my research. I would really like to get something done but my husband needs more convincing! He's worried about the risks of surgery, and also about the impact it'll have on our relationship - as eating out forms a large part of that! I'm 35, 5'7" and about 248 lbs. I carry it pretty well, but I want to lose weight so that pregnancy will be easier, as we're thinking about having children over the next year or so. My family has a history of HUGE babies - I was 11lb 8oz:eek: and my husband was 9lbs, so I reckon any weight I can lose pre-pregnancy, has got to be a good thing. I'll be paying for the surgery privately here - out free health service will pay for obesity related drugs, but not the operation. I'd really like to hear off those of you who had resistance from your husbands/wives, and how you got around that, and got them to support you.....:help: Many thanks Eleda, London

Blimey that's cheap! I've had quotes admittedly mostly from Central London for about £7800, and this includes follow up and some counselling. Which hospital is that? Thanks for the link to Obesityhelp.com - I'll have a look and may see you over there!!!

Thanks Donna! That really helps to put it in perspective. I'll show him your posts. I think the point you made about people resisiting change, is very interesting - we're going through major major change here - we got married 6 months ago, moved in together, I've changed job and now we're moving out of the area, and although I've moved house and job a lot, my husband really hasn't at all. He's friends with the same guys he was at school with, and to move away from them is a HUGE leap of faith for him, so me saying I want surgery, just seems to be one thing too many at the moment!!! Poor lamb! I've overloaded him a bit, I think! As for places to visit next time you come to the UK, the Cotswolds region is so gorgeous it's breathtaking. It's full of cute little cottages, great pubs with open fires and lovely 'boutique' style hotels. Bourton-on-the-Water is my favorite - my friend bought the Manor House here and I love staying with her! They're only about 90 mins from Heathrow Airport (London) and they get proper snow, as you can see from the picture of the Christmas Tree! Here's some links to keep you going till your next visit: www.bourtoninfo.com/default.aspx www.broadway-cotswolds.co.uk/bourton.html By the way, the pictures of the River Windrush make it look like it's really deep, but it's only about 8"!! Very handy for cooling hot tired feet! Thanks again for your comments and support, I'll keep you posted with my efforts! Off to bed now, it's 2.30am here!!! Kind regards Eleda

That's really helpful, thanks tons! I'll show your post to my hubby and see does that help a bit. I'm sure he thinks I'll be sitting there, playing with a piece of lettuce, while he tucks into a steak! I know the reality isn't like that, but this kind of surgery isn't common here at all, so when I said I was thinking about it, he looked at me like I'd said I was going to get my lips sewn up! :speechles I have to think about the time-off thing and it's reassuring to hear that you could have been back to work in a week. I get paid sick leave, but I don't know if that covers me for elective surgery, or just general unplanned illness. Hmm. Thanks again Melody! Eleda x

Thanks Donna, that's an interesting perspective! I think I should add that we're both very stressed at the moment - we'll be moving house on Friday, :nervous to a new area 70 miles away from my husband's home town, and all his friends, and he's worried that he'll feel isolated, with a wife who doesn't feel like going out to eat much because of the banding. He said "at least if you were just on a diet you could have a blow out once in a while...." :phanvan I think it's the permanency of it which is scaring him - it's not like I can have a night off from it, like you can with a 'normal' diet. I also think that, seeing as he has about 100 lbs to lose, it sort of brings his own weight issues into focus, even though we've not really talked about that - it's all been about MY wanting to lose weight, not him. I've assured him that when we move, if I have this done I won't become a hermit! I think he's also worried that if there are compliacations, then it'll be him that has to pick up the bits if I'm ill. I don't think he's bothered about me becoming more attractive etc if I lost weight - he says that's fine so long as I don't lose too much off my chest!! I think I'll get this house move over with, let the dust settle and then revisit things in a couple of weeks, and in the meantime keep researching! As for coming to the UK when it snows, the best time to be most sure of snow is February. Sadly, with global warming, and all the heat from buildings and cars, it doesn't really snow at all in London - or if it does, it lasts for less than a day. But certainly further north and Scotland get more than enough! I'm glad you had a good time here!:clap2: If you have any further advice and thoughts I'd love to hear them! (Like - Did it hurt? How long did you need to take off work for the operation etc? )Sorry to fire questions at you, and thanks for your comments so far! Best regards Eleda

Thanks Melody, I think that's a really good way of tackling it. I've been dropping little bits of information about it, but I think that because he doesn't want me to have it (cos he doesn't know much about it, partly) I think he hears this as nagging!!! I notice from your profile that it's early days for you, but my goodness, you've lost loads already! On a day to day basis, how does this affect your relationship? Does your husband mind you not eating as much? I know that might sound like a silly question, but I've realised that a lot of our relationship is based around eating out etc, and I know he'll get upset if we got out, and I can't eat. I did a very restrictive liquid-only diet last year, and lost about 35 lbs but have put it all on again. And during this time my husband said he'd be supportive, but then complained a lot whenever I couldn't eat or drink with him! The surgery and the risks I can handle, but a grumpy husband is quite another trial!

Hi, can someone point me towards some other UK based forums relating to obesity surgery? I'm very interested in having a lap band but my husband needs more convincing, particularly in relation to the impact it will have on our relationship - such as will I still want to go for a curry! Cheers Eleda