Not even my father will know because like anybody else in my family or circle of acquaintances, he will say that all I need to do is eat less and walk the track like I've always done to loose weight. My best guy friend even said to me: "..all you need to do is get back in the zone like you did the first time you lost weight," when I mentioned the LapBand. It's not fair. People don't realize the struggles I've faced all my life. I feel as though I have lived in a fat suit for the past 25 years that have been interrupted by a few months of sporadic weight loss here and there. And everytime I've gained the weight back, I feel like a total failure. I see it in people's eyes. They look at me and want to ask, "Weren't you loosing weight? What happened?" IN FACT THIS did happen to me just this week. I was helping a former graduate at the high school where I work. She walked in my office for a letter with her three kids in tow, one of which is in the belly and asked: "Have you started gaining weight? Your arms are looking fuller." My heart sank.
In our community it's damned if you do and damned if you don't. If you don't loose weight, you're not accepted as attractive or smart or worthwhile. If you do, and it's through WLS, you're a cheat. It's frustrating.