mariecarmen

At work recently a woman I talk to on the phone a lot in another department told me she'd had gastric bypass. I've never met her, only phone contact. She'd heard I got the band and asked if I see myself thinner in the mirror. We started talking about it. Neither of us sees any startling difference in our facial images. Her surgeon told her that's very common with weight loss surgery patients. What I'm noticing now that I'm at goal is I have this uneasy feeling of "what now." All my adult life I've thought things would be different if only I was thin. Well, now I'm thin (by popular standards) and I'm not quite sure what I should be doing, what should be different. Anyone feel the same?

Warmorningsun: cheese doesn't seem any more gross that thinking you've vomited up a part of your esophagus I suppose. All in all, it was an ugly and painful experience that I hope never to repeat. I had intense pain where you describe before calling the doctor. So bad it woke me up from a dead sleep. I really thought my band had slipped and was strangling my anatomy. Cheese is funny with me. I imagine it turns to glue in there unless it's chewed within an inch of it's life before swallowing. Good luck, I feel (really, I do) your pain. Let's hope an unfill and quick flush gives you relief. MC

I'm 50 and have been obese 99% of my adult life. I'm scheduled for a panniculectomy in August only because I'm having a hysterectomy and it just makes sense to do it at the same time. I have an apron of considerable size that's unattractive but not horrible. It's the rashes and irritations that bother me more. The only one who sees my belly besides me is my husband and we've been through so much together he's fine with it. I think if it wasn't for the other surgery, I may not have persued the PS. If the insurance hadn't decided to approve it, I definately wouldn't have paid out of pocket. I'm sure I'll be happy with the results and look forward to losing the excess skin that right now sits on my upper thighs like a dead cat.

I started not drinking with dinner at the same time I started my post lapband diet of a shake for breakfast and lunch and a small Protein dinner--about 2 weeks before surgery. I'm a visual person and what helped me was to imagine all between meal liquids as cool and refreshing. I would visualize cold mountain streams or waterfalls to entice me to drink more. At meals I would imagine liquids as oil or melted butter. Would I consider drinking either with food, heck no. Try also to keep your eye on the prize--not drinking for 2 hours a day is a small price to pay for permanent weight loss. Good luck! We all know how tough it is to break old habits.

"I just can't, I can't join a gym. I have this huge issue about others seeing the "fat girl" working out. It's a head thing of mine." Bubble, I had this same issue (ah, just another to add to the big list of issues). Try and join with a friend, that helps. If she's another "fat girl" that's even better. No fat friends? Go to Salvation Army and look for the largest old tee shirt they have. I'm talking about a 3-4xl. It will swim on you. Put it on and march proudly into the gym. Know what people will think: wow, that woman's lost a TON of weight. Good for her. Know what those skinny girls in the spandex crop-tops will think? Who cares! When I first started going to the gym I never made eye contact with anyone and pretended I was invisible. Very mature attitude for a 50 year old adult, right? Let's face it, fat people are invisible anyway. We're much more self-conscious than we need to be. People ARE NOT watching our every move and judging us. They're far too self-consumed to care. Maybe they give us a passing thought or glance. But really, they're much more worried about their own needs and images. Try the gym with a friend once. It may surprise you how motivated you feel. MC

Here's a little update: Insurance approved the panniculectomy! Now the PS office is telling me the date is bad for him. I gave her the phone numbers of the GYN and urologist and said they need to work it out amongst themselves but to keep it close because of my job schedule and medical leave arrangements. We'll see what they come up with. Had a very bad week bandwise (see Gurgling Discomfort thread under LB complications) and am not as restricted. I'm off to the gym to strengthen my abdominal muscles as much as possible before the surgery. Things are looking up! Thanks for all your support, MC

<p>Looks like the old utuerus has finally given out and will have to go, along with her friends the tubes and ovary sisters. During the initial discussion with my GYN I asked about the incision because down the road I'm considering a panniculectomy or tummy tuck.</p> <p> </p> <p>He said he and the plastic surgeon could do a combined surgery. </p> <p> </p> <p>I was banded 9 months ago and have a ways to go as far as exercising and toning up. And I've heard the recs that you should be at goal for about a year before considering plastic surgery.</p> <p> </p> <p>So, my question is: would it benefit me to get a head start on removing the apron--even though I'm not at goal? Or should I wait to heal from the hysterectomy, continue to exercise and seek the plastic surgery later?</p> <p> </p> <p>Opinions? Anyone?</p>

Here I am again, if anyone's interested or has similar symptoms. Saw my doctor who said, indeed, the pouch can hold larger pieces of food that can't pass through. He took all the saline out of my band, had me drink several large glasses of Water and refilled me, but only to 2cc total. From the blockage, PBing and vomiting he thinks I'm swollen and need to rest my stomach for awhile. 2 days of liquids only. I feel enormously better, and a little embarrassed. I told him I really couldn't imagine how after 10 months of chewing food to pulp I could manage to get huge pineapple chunks down my throat. His answer was enormously comforting--eating is mostly an unconscious act. We're taught with the lapband to chew and chew, not drink with meals, etc. All this focuses our attention on eating and swallowing. But every once in awhile we simply throw someting in our mouths without realizing it and swallow like there never was a band inserted. 50 years of unconscious eating doesn't just disappear in 10 months. He said something similar happened to a patient who was 3 years out. Made me feel less stupid. I'll really have to watch and make my eating experiences purposeful to avoid a repeat of this little horror show. Thanks for putting up with my gurgling saga, MC

Warning--this is gross: Last night I had a massive PB and brought up 2 intact wedge-shaped chunks of what looked like pineapple. Each 3/4" long by about 3/8" wide at the widest part. Oh, my God, the last time I ate fruit was several weeks ago and I just can't imagine that I could have swallowed them at that size without chewing. They were fully formed, I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't see it with my own eyes. My husband explained that they could indeed be sitting in there a long time because above the band is just my esophogus with no hydrocloric acid to digest food up there. I felt immediate relief, but not 100% and I wonder if there's anymore still in there. Could this be possible? Having chunks of food just laying in the pouch, blocking everything depending on their position? I'm going to call my doctor, ask for a complete unfill and drink Water to flush out the pouch. I'm still gurlgling (not as badly) when I drink.

I am only 3 lbs from my surgeon's original goal weight for me. He said, 162 would put me at a healthy BMI and we'd shoot for that and reevaluate. Recently he adjusted it down to 150, which seems reasonable to me. The problem I'm having is one of contradiction. When I look in the mirror I see myself as I always was. Not the thin teenaged me or the highest-weight middle-aged me. Just the same face. Yes, I can now see my collarbones and when I lie down can see my hipbones. But I don't see a thin person. When I see people at work that haven't seen me in awhile, many comment on how great I look. It sort of confuses me because I don't feel it. I know I'm thinner, I can see that on the scale. I know I'm smaller because when I hold up my underpants to put them on it surprises me daily that they look so small in my hands. But my mind really can't wrap itself around the true picture. I guess my concept needs to change of exactly what a size 14 looks like. Maybe photos will help. So here's another contradiction. When I run into people I haven't seen since before the surgery and there's no reaction at all, I get a little annoyed. I think, "Well, don't you even notice that I've lost the equivalent to a third grader? Come on, tell me how great I look!" Then I still feel like the fat girl at the table when eating out and think everyone is watching everything I put in my mouth. If a staff member comes into my office when I'm snacking on some almonds, I feel a little ashamed, like I have no business consuming calories. I don't think my mind is ready to accept goal weight and the lifestyle it entails. Anyone else struggle with these issues? Paging Dr. Freud!

I had an MRI since being banded, also a CT scan. No problems at all.

I'm down from a size 24 to a 14. Wow, it's even more impressive writing it down. We're invited to two barbeques in the next few weeks at homes with pools. I can't remember the last time I wore a bathing suit. I don't think I've ever swum (swam?) in public as an adult. It's time for a dip in the pool, which means a bathing suit! Anyone have a recommendation for a good one piece suit with a tummy control portion to handle that lovely extra tummy skin? I'd like to order online--really don't have time to get to a store anytime soon. Thanks, everyone! MC

Wow, thanks for all the replies. I'm heading over to the Landsend site to do some window shopping. MC

My surgeon said no driving for 5 days after surgery. I felt I would have been okay after the 3rd day and was perfectly fine by the 5th for the post-op visit to his office. 1000 miles is a heck of a distance to go alone, especially if you do start to feel weak or sick. Can someone go with you?

I went for a fill yesterday and spoke with my lapband surgeon. He thinks I should wait till I'm at goal (15 lbs) for at least 6 months before the panniculectomy. I'm going to leave it in fate's hands. If the insurance approves it, fine. If not, fine also. I was disappointed that he thinks with all my "girlie parts" removed, I'll only be down another 2 lbs or so. I was hoping for 5-8ish. Interesting point however--he wants me in the night before the surgery for a complete unfill of the band. He says there's too much risk of vomiting after the TAH and doesn't want to risk a slip. I'll go back to him when I'm discharged from the hospital for a refill. (Sounds like a gas station, doesn't it?) I guess he saw the wild look in my eyes when he said complete unfill. He said, you won't feel like eating anyway, you'll be on liquids. Just choose the low calorie choices. Oh, boy.

I went to a new GYN when I moved years ago. She (the only 'she' doctor I've ever gone to) came in, did the exam and casually said in her conversation, "Have you ever considered losing weight?" Hmmmm, considered losing weight. What a novel idea! Why, no! A-hole.

Yes, soft bread is very, very evil. It turns into a white brick in there and clogs the pouch. It makes your slime go haywire with overdrive production trying to get it to pass. If it does, by some act of God, pass through it may give you horrendous gas and digestive symptoms. Just stay away. Let bread never touch your lips or GASP pass them.

I went the other way. Had the surgery and BP was so good for months I stopped taking my BP med (just one low dose). Yesterday went to PCP for an unrelated issue and my BP is high (140/100). Guess it pays to keep an eye on your BP and see if it's on the way up or on the way down.

I was going to suggest another fill, even a small one. I think the physical act of entering the doctor's office and stepping on the scale sort of slaps you mind back into weightloss focus. Try going back to basics for a week, as if you just had your band inserted and see what happens. Sometimes you just need to shake things up from the routine to get the process kickstarted. And, yes, drink ALL your Water. Especially in the summer!

If you could swallow before, you can swallow now. The volume should not cause you to PB or clog unless your band is tight due to emotional upset. In that case, you shouldn't really be doing that till you're relaxed anyway.

My surgeon says a day of liquids, a day of mushies and then as tolerated. As an added bonus, this kicks off some great weight loss and inspires me to continue.

For me, I can almost gaurantee getting something stuck in my band if I: 1. take too large a swallow 2. eat too fast 3. eat when I'm upset 4. eat bread 5. don't chew well enough I know right away it's happened because I get an immediate uncomfortable feeling that turns to pain in my mid-chest. My eyes may Water, my nose may run. Very thick, slimey saliva starts to pool in my mouth that has to be spit out. Try and swallow it only makes the situation worse. I may start to hiccup or burp. Burping is better because things shift around in there. The only solution when this happens is to stop eating, don't dare swallow another thing and move. Walk, bend at the waist, twist my torso. Anything that will encourage whatever's stuck to change position and slide through the band. The second it passes, all the above mentioned symptoms stop. Depending on the size of the obstruction and the time it took to clear, I find myself tired and don't put anything in my mouth for a few hours. I try and have at least 2 Protein shake meals following one of these episodes. The experience may be different for others, this is just how it goes for me. Good luck, MC

Nume--what you describe isn't abuse, it's neglect. Still as damaging, still as hurtful. But is it intentional? Does he purposely NOT touch you in order to instill bad feelings and diminish your self-esteem? Or does he just not feel loving toward you? In your situation, I would do some long, hard thinking on this issue. Are you better off with him or without him? Are the problems you face resolvable or irreconcilable? Have you identified your needs and communicated them to him in a calm and direct manner? Does he realize how deeply this issue is affecting you? Is he willing to work on repairing your relationship? Are you? All tough questions. I wish you a lot of luck and strength in whatever you decide to do, or not do, or tolerate.

Reformed smokers tend to preach the evils of smoking. My husband, a big-time smoker can't tolerate the hypocricy of their "well-meaning," I've-seen-the-light-advice. I never needed anyone to tell me I was fat and I should lose weight. I did something about it when I was ready. Some people are never ready. Love the person, not the body. They're unhappy enough about it without thinking you're pushing them.

1. Not having "gathering anxiety." Having to get there early so I make sure I get a seat in the corner that I can fit into. Now I fit anywhere, even in between to larger people or chairs with arms. 2. Being able to walk between people seated in chairs and the wall behind them. Our conference room at work is a bit tight and if I got called out, everyone had to stand up to let me pass. Now I can walk behind them without making a spectacle myself. 3. Running without getting red, breathless and sweaty. 4. The ability to walk into any clothing department in any store and find something stylish that fits, not settling for anything I can close, regardless of color, size or price. 5. The looks on people's faces that haven't seen me in awhile. 6. I overheard my husband talking to one of our friends about my weight loss and he said, "Isn't she amazing?" 7. A good friend pointed out a normal sized woman walking a distance ahead of us and said, "You're smaller than her, and your ass looks much better in jeans." 8. Getting down on the floor to play with my grandson without losing my breath or worrying what I looked like on my hands and knees. 9. No diner booth or amusement park ride anxiety. I fit. No sucking in, I fit. 10. When a man looks at me my first thought is no longer--he's wondering how a human being can let herself get so fat.