sweet4dayz

Wow what to say, well Im a 31 yr. old mother of one lovely 9 year old girl.. All my life i've been over weight. Its been a struugle since then. I never had low self esteem, I love all 282 lbs of me. Some may say how couldn't you. But thats an easy answer I always surrounded myslef with positive people and had a positive outlook on life. I made myself that big no one else did so I couldn't expect anyone to make this life altering change for me. I first thought about lap band surgery back in 2005 when I graduated from high school but threw it on the back burner and went away to college. I was happy with myself and didn't see it as a problem, plus I wasn't that big then as the years went by the weight increased and decreased, you know the yo-yo effect. The final straw as you may say was my family history, my mom and dad are both diabetics and hypertensive. So my future wasn't looking to bright if i didn't do something about my weight. Then I started thinking wow at 31 how could I be the heaviest in my entire family! I was tired of being the cute fat girl. I wanted to be the fierce sexy hot mama that I am. So I called around found a seminar at lenox hill and went just to get info and see if this is something that I was willing to put my body and mind through. So listenening to Dr. Roslin and a few of his associates, I made up my mind that this was for me and called the next day for a visit. I got an appointment quickly and things went smooth from there. Iwent for all my pre-exams and got my surgery date rather fast. I never looked back from there. The surgery was a success and my recovery was great. My first couple of days home were rough, walking up and the down the stairs became a challenge. I felt like a was pregnant all over. lol getting use to eating in small portions took some time, but went I first felt "fullinest" I knew that this was a whole different situation. what I mean by that is I use to eat until I sometimes had to loosen my belt, now I can eat my portion and feel at ease. I had kept a journal of my meals and wy exercise routine. Everyday I would write a little positive note to myself to help motivate me. I started out with just walking for 30 minutes and gradually move up my activity level. as the days got warmer I went for walks in the park and just keeping myself very active. I weighed and measured myself every week and kept a journal on that also. Some may say i was obessed but that helped me also. when I saw the went coming off and losing  inches I was so proud of myself. I started pushing myself very hard. I have a goal weight and I am still determined to get there. I can rememeber going in to closet and taking out some summer clothes and crying, crying because nothing fits that feeling of joy and accomplishment means everything to me. so proud of myself and where I'm heading in my life. My family and friends are so supportive and thats all I can ask for. Don't get me wrong I have had some set backs but I quickly change. I didn't do this to go bad to my old ways. So for know I'm Just keeping my head up and charging to the moutains. I'm so happy with the new me even though it took awhile for me to not see the same fat girl in the mirror.