Elektralite

I went to my first required support group meeting last night. I have to attend another one next month. It's not as easy as I expected to get the surgery done. I'll pretty much have to jump through hoops - one more meeting, then see a bariatric internist, then a nutritionist, then on to the shrink, thennnnn onwards toward surgery, but only after I lose at least 30 pounds on my own. AHHHG! I'm sure this is all normal stuff that everyone has to go through, but dang, they want a lot. If I can lose 30 pounds on my own, why do I need surgery? That's the part that gets me a little confounded. If it was so easy to drop 30 pounds, don't they think everyone would have done it already?!?! There were some recent patients at the meeting. The bypass patients all looked pale, sickly, and shriveled - not to be mean, they lost the weight - great for them.. but the bandsters looked a whole helluva lot healthier. I also got to meet my surgeon, and he's sweet as can be. That was nice. Ok, well, I'm rambling.. just figured I'd pop in with an update. Hope everyone is doing well, two thumbs way up for the successful, *hugs* of support to those that aren't there yet (you will be!). El

Ouch.. so good to know in advance and another habit I'm going to have to break .. I usually down a 16.9 oz bottle of Water in 2 or 3 swigs.. yikes. I'll work on that! El

:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: Congrats on your success p'nut! You'll be 100 down before you know it! El

I had a long talk with my husband this morning when he got home from work and fully discussed everything that happened yesterday. He is dead set against the bypass also and fully supports the band if that's what I want to do - and as you know, it is! I decided this morning that I'm going to start following the band diet NOW, rather than wait. If nothing else I will have myself prepared for when the time comes. I know I'll need to learn small & slow bites - might as well practice until I get it right! Going to start measuring portions, protien first, veggies/fruit second, and whole grains last. Water and Diet Lipton Green Tea with Citrus as my only beverages. I think this will help me in the long run as I'll already be used to eating this way once I can come off the mushies, plus, maybe I'll lose a few bonus pounds during my wait for surgery. How long I'll have to wait.. well.. I have no idea yet. Hopefully it will be done by the end of summer (is this a realistic time frame?). You all have been so wonderful and supportive.. many many thanks for that. I'm so glad to have found this forum. I wish each and every one of you continued success with your bands. hugs, El

I really can't complain about my primary.. he's really been an excellent Dr. to me for many years (and he's super test happy - checks EVERYTHING). I think perhaps he's simply ignorant to enough information about the procedure. For the last couple years he has suggested WLS to me, but always the RNY of course. I just can not, and will not do that. I think it's a wonderful thing for people who are comfortable with it - I simply, am not. He didn't give me a hard time or anything, just really is set that he doesn't believe in the band from the literature he's read. He did give me the referral to the surgeon with no complaints, and he is pleased that I want to take control of my weight. Maybe I can be the patient to enlighten him and open him up to a new idea. I *BELIEVE* with all that I have inside of me that this is the right choice for my life. I *KNOW* in my heart of hearts I will succeed.. and then he'll have to see it for what it is. I'll be the proof, sans pudding ::grin:: I am determined to do this, one way or another. Luckily, the surgeon I'll be seeing is a good one, and he's also the only one in my HMO plan that does the band. I've checked him out pretty well, no complaints/malpractice/reprimands on his record. He's actually highly regarded and the head of the bariatric program through my HMO. That certainly makes me feel better. It was hard getting shot down today, but you all have succeeded in lifting my spirits and re-enforcing that this is the right choice in my mind. Thank you. And again, I think my Dr. is simply ignorant to the potential - I'll show him! El

Wow, so many open and fabulous posts. I've always been big. I think food became a comfort for me when my parents separated (I was 3), that's where the photos show me changing. As a teen I worked myself down from a size 18 to 12/14 - and of course, the teenage boys still called me "the fat girl", so that really didn't help things much. As I grew into my early 20's I grew up to a size 26 and almost 350 pounds. Left an abusive marriage, put myself through college, got down to 275 and met the man of my dreams. We got married, then I got pregnant with our daughter and actually LOST weight during the pregnancy - getting down to 260 after her birth. Three years later and I'm back up to 299. I'm very lucky in that I'm tall and broad with a good deal of muscle so I only wear a size 20 jeans at this weight and 22 tops. Still, size 20 is far from thin. Am I afraid to be thin? No, not in the slightest. It's something I ache for every day. It would be so nice to be intimate with my husband and not have to shut off the light because I'm embarressed by my rolls. It would be wonderful to take my daughter and teach her to ride horses like I used to so long ago before I got so big. It would be sheer pleasure to go to the beach in shorts & a swimsuit instead of jeans and a baggy t-shirt - how sad is that? I think my fear is honestly of success. What then? What do I do when I have nothing to whine and bitch about? Where do I go from there? I've done the same thing with my college education. I excelled in school, carrying dean's list all the way through, and I've done nothing of substance with this education. Instead I chose to go into retail management for a short time, then I've been home since I got pregnant in November of 2001 (edit, typed 2000 by accident). Why I'm afraid of success, I really can't say. Self sabotage is certainly something I'm very good at though. Perhaps it's laced somewhere in my dysfunctional childhood and first marriage, but then, I'm a grown woman now and I do know the difference between right and wrong, positive and negative. I wish I could answer my own questions and understand what the problem is inside of myself, but I'm not there yet. I'm aware of the issues however, and that's a start.. El

Wow, so many replies so quick while I was responding to the first post! Thank you, all of you *hugs*.. you've no idea the relief I feel reading your posts and seeing that you know where I'm coming from. Yes, it's the sweet tooth or - junk tooth that does me in. I'm sure my body has also thought it was in starvation mode a good many times. Hell, my metabolism is probably rock bottom from all the things I've done to myself over the years. I know the band isn't a miracle and I'm not going to wake up a svelt 170, but I believe it will give me the edge I need to do what I must. That's all I want, to do what I have to do for myself.. without destroying my body to do it. I guess my primary just doesn't get that. I have to attend two informational sessions, the first is the 11th of this month, and the next is on June 8th. I had already set those up myself through the surgeon's office last week. Now I just have to wait for the call to get the consult and I will explain this all to him. Thank you truly for your responses, I feel a bit better now. It was just hard to have been waiting with so much enthusiasm for so long and to get shot down like I did today. I'm not ready to quit on this yet, I want my life back. El

Hi Amourette, Thank you for your response. Yes, primary is my family doctor/internal medicine/primary care physician (HMO terms). Yes, I have worked hard on my research and really believe this is the right thing for me, even if he disagrees - and I will be sure to tell the surgeon that also. They are supposed to call me within the next week to set up my consultation. And again, yes, my problem is poor choices. I can go 2 or 3 days barely eating a thing, but when I do decide to eat, it's crap. I'm addicted to the taste of junky food. I can be perfectly satisfied with a cup of Pasta and 2 meatballs, but I'd much rather have that quarter pounder with cheese meal from good ole McD's.. you know? Of course this sets off the yo-yo, don't eat and drop weight, do eat (and it's junk) and *poof* it's back on plus some. All the way up to the 299 I am today (and this is not the heaviest I've ever been). I know that with the band I'm going to be forced to make healthier choices, and that's what I need - the push to do the right thing. I've already given up regular soda, white bread (mostly), added sugar.. so, I am capable of doing some good things for myself, I just need that extra *OOMPH* if you know what I mean. Make sense? Sorry, I'm rambling, I'll shush now. El

I'm sitting here holding in the tears, the fears, and the upset. I'm sorry to dump this out here, but I need to let it go, and hopefully gain some wisdom from those of you who have been here. The good part - I saw my primary today and presented him with a nice little worksheet I'd done showing my previously failed weight loss attempts, co-morbidity factors in addition to my 46 BMI, my questions, my concerns, my choice of the lap band and the surgeon to perform it. He looked it all over and said I made a good choice for a surgeon for me - that was nice to hear. It's good to know my primary respects him in the field. Now, the bad part - He doesn't think the band is worth it for me. He admits that he's not overly experienced with band patients, but he does have RNY bariatric patients. He said he's read a lot of literature on the band (so have I!!!) but just doesn't think it's going to be what I need because portion control isn't my problem. He wants me to go with the RNY because he's seen it work fast in his other patients. I feel like I just got kicked in the face - even if it was done politely. I've put so much time into researching, reading, and educating myself about the band. I have spent probably 25 hours in the last week reading and learning all I could find. I felt like this would be the right choice for me for all the following reasons: 1. I don't really want my guts re-routed (God made them this way for a reason) 2. There's so much less risk, and with 2 kids I can't afford to have major problems - especially not death 3. It's reversible *if* there was a problem 4. Easier recovery and less hospital time 5. The band wouldn't require me to be on special Vitamins, etc. for the rest of my life (what happens if I lose insurance?!? then what?!?) 6. So many people have found success with the band it gives me hope Are we seeing a pattern here? I really don't want the RNY, for so many reasons. And yet, this is what my primary wants for me. I'm scared, I'm confused, and I'm heartbroken. I did get the referral to the surgeon and I will of course discuss all this with him, but - pardon my trucker mouth - but WHAT THE F*$#?!? Have any of you gone through this? Any sage words of wisdom? Thoughts? I'm sorry to have dumped all this, I just really need some support through this tough night. Thanks for listening El

Thank you all for your responses. Of course, this is exactly what I was hoping to hear. I'm 32 years old, have had high BP since 23, was gestational diabetic with my daughter (so Type II is just down the road waiting), suffer from depression and low self-esteem, and am generally achy most of the time. This isn't good, and frankly, I'm afraid of what lies ahead of me if I stay on this current path. I'm scared to death of surgery, but the alternative is a whole lot scarier. I want very much to be a normal healthy person, and after many tears and good old fashioned on my knees prayers, this is the route I've been lead to. I'm glad to hear that this has been a good tool for so many of you. It gives me hope and dare I say it.. a dream to believe in. So, I will quit rambling and get on to reading the forum posts to help better educate myself. Thank you all so much for sharing with me. El

Forgive me if this is covered elsewhere but I'm sick with the flu and sweating bullets as I write (yes, I'm going to bed immediately after this post). I'm scheduled to see my primary on Friday to discuss the band procedure and get referred to the surgeon. My doctor has been on me for a long time to consider WLS, and now that I know my insurance will cover banding I'm serious about doing it (the bypass was just too drastic for me). My question is this - now that you've done it.. would you do it again, knowing what you know and have lived through now? Please be honest with me, I need all the information I can get before I do this. Thank you much in advance. El