janke129

Brendaanise-thank you for your thoughts. I was on the fence quite awhile and then I knew it was the right thing to do. I had totally lost me and when I left I had trouble thinking what do I want to do, my interests..instead of always him,him,him. Edazul- I know how you feel as I turned to another man when my marriage was definently over. I had forgotten how nice it was to be treated well and listened to and it got out of hand. My husband suspected but it was never confirmed. I am not a therapist but I know the trust issue will take time. Has your husband forgiven you? It is not only what he thinks, you have to forgive yourself and build a new future together and let go of the past. If you regret your mistake and always keep thinking and rebuilding with your husband, the trust will build and you will be able to work through this. I agree that kids do better with 2 loving parents apart than living on a battleground and staying together just because of them. Jabba the Mutt- I agree with most of what you said Except a couple of points. First, the part about finding a man less attractive than me and having him grateful. Isn't that the descrimation that we fight against that people look differently at us because we are fat. What about how a person is on the inside, interests, morals, and being compadable? And second, I don't feel I want to be envied by other women. I have never thought of who I was because of what other women thought. I have worked on how I could be a better person but always on my standards, who I wanted to be or become. I have never lived by how I was doing by keeping score or keeping up with the Jones'. Bottom line, I wholeheartely agree with "do not stay where you are not valued, and failure is not a sin so long as we learn from it. " Life is short, don't let it slip you by..........

Katy, Remember that you are never given more than you can handle. You truly are a very strong person. I love the fact that you still have your sense of humor, it is what gets me through the rough spots and hurdles of life. You are in my prayers.

I was married for 20 years to a man that was good as gold one minute and then in a instant could turn cold and distant. I also felt I could fix him, or change him with love and support. He was the father of my 2 kids but it got to the point that I was walking on eggshells, afraid to talk because I never knew how he would react. He would yell, rant and rave and then he would apoligize and say he loved me, couldn't live without me and it would never happen again. It got to the point that I was having trouble breathing when he was in the room, it felt like the air would all of a sudden be sucked out. One day my oldest daughter told me that when she turned 18 she wanted to adopt her younger sister to get away from him...I did not need to think about it anymore we left that night. I was confused and scared and even felt guilty for leaving him ... sometimes I think I have wasted 20 years, but then I look at my 2 daughters and I would not have had them without him. Three years later, I am married to a wonderful man who loves my kids as his own. I trust him totally and really appriciate all the little things because I remember how it used to be. I am so happy that I finally took control and changed my life!

I would like to sit on a plane or theater without being squished. I would like to hike, swim, bowl , try new things. I want to wear a tight leather catwoman outfit for Halloween.

gentylwind, I agree those demons are hard to break. I am so used to stress eating and cannot find a way to live without stress. I pray that a job will open up and your household can get back to normal.

Orea15, Thank you for posting the salmon recipe, it looks yummy. I went to the website and I love how each recipe is broken down as I need to watch sugar, protein and carbs...diabetic. I spent over an hour just checking out the site and getting new ideas, since I am starting to get tired of some of my standbys.

Gotta, I am in the same boat. I was banded 11-05-08 and have lost 6 pounds. I had lost more but I have gained some back due to snacking. I had my 2nd fill yesterday, so I hope I feel something since I have had no restriction at all. At first I was afraid to eat anything, but then I was getting so hungry that that I started snacking. First it was all sugar free and foods on my plan, but then the holidays hit and there were too many temptations. I think we are through the honeymoon stage and now have to dig down and remember why we wanted the surgery in the first place. I find I need to read encouraging books and stay focused on me and what I need to change rather than dealing with life first and try to eat the right thing. It is a continuious effort to make myself exersise. My doctor told me if I am getting hungry and not filling up, to schedule my next fill sooner so I can stay on top of this. I have not tried any type of hypnosis, but I don't believe it would work for me, so I don't even try. We have to be selfish and think of ourselves first and what we need to do to stay in control. I know it will work into a lifestyle but with so many years of bad habits, it will take time to be routine. I also hang onto the positive things...my blood pressure is down, I bought clothes 2 sizes smaller. I am eating fish and chicken almost every day of the week instead of pasta and red meat. And the best thing is we have a place to come to where others understand and rally around to help each other.

Another thought could be if you are eating the correct foods and exercising more.....muscle weighs more than fat. The weight on the scale is not dropping as quickly as you want, but your body is changing inside and the weight will start to drop.

I agree with the loss of insulation. I have been cold for the last couple of weeks, which is a switch since I am used to having hot flashes.:thumbup: I guess we go through a lot of changes inside and out ,because I have not lost that much weight but I noticed my body has changed and my clothes were starting to hang on me. I went shopping today with gift cards I got at Christmas and I bought clothes that were 2 sizes smaller than the ones I wore into the store. I let out a woo hoo in the dressing room and then thought that others probably really wondered what I was doing in there.:thumbup: I made sure I was not losing my mind and started trying on other clothes to make sure that the pants were not just mis-sized.

Hello.....surgery date 11/05/08 Highest weight 192 preop date starting weight 178 surgery weight-172 current weight-162 goal weight-125 Second fill 01/26/09 cannot wait!

That is great that you have lost 25 pounds!! Woohoo, you are on your way. I need to correct my ticker as I have gained 5 pounds since Christmas. I am on a terror to exercise and get back to being as strict as I was when I first got banded. I was really carefull and then portions started getting bigger. I also realized that I stopped measuring everything and I Know my eyes portions are bigger than the amount of food measured. I am somewhat sore from exercising yesterday but more exercise takes the soreness away, right??

Hi, My doctor told me that if I ever start throwing up a lot to call her office, day or night. I have read that your body changes and some foods that you have always eaten do not agree at this time. That does not mean that you will never be able to tolarate the same food in the future. I hope this helps.....

I am so glad I found this site. It is so hard to talk to anyone else that doesn't know how hard it is to look at yourself in the mirror, take control and do something positive that has been such a negative for most of my life. It took me years to even admit to my husband how unhappy I have been with myself. I am lucky that I don't cook 2 meals, he does fend for himself. He was a widower before I met him, so he can cook some things. As far as exercise, I bit the bullet and did 1/2 hour of core training with the ball and I walked around our 2 acre property 3 times. It took me thinking pros and cons of why I did the band in the first place and I am committed to do whatever it is I need to do. And, I love how my clothes are getting big and starting to hang on me.