susan1961

I am divorced.... twice. And my words of (hard-earned) wisdom are: a) once you make it through the storm, it's wonderful; being alone is SO much better than being in an unhappy relationship. The most important relationship in your life is the one you have with YOU. :tounge_smile: take the high road. You won't regret it. I have shared every holiday and birthday with my ex and our kids and now his new wife. Easy? No. But it is incredible not to have ever spent a Xmas or birthday apart from my children, and the most important thing I have ever done for my kids is to not hate or be hateful toward their dad. They don't feel at all traumatized by the divorce because of the efforts their dad and I have made. c) Get whatever help you need: from friends, from professionals, from meds.... but not from food. Best wishes on starting your new and better life.

Hello to all. I was banded December 17. I have not felt at all hungry since the surgery, but have noticed a sense of restlessness since then that I was probably'fixing' with eating, before, and which I now need to confront and deal with in other ways. It is comforting to read about how others are feeling physicially; there are many similarities, and that provides reassurance. My doc loaded the band at the time of surgery. He say a fill won't be necessary for months. He says his goal with the band is diminished hunger, and patients should not feel the 'restriction' that others describe. I am perhaps an unusual patient in that pre-op BMI was 31... and I wasn't overweight until my 30's.... and I already exercise quite a bit... perhaps I'm being overly optimistic in thinking these factors may make my journey to goal a little smoother. Time will tell. I look forward to getting to know the other December 2008 band thread posters over the coming months, and hope we can be a source of support and more to one another as we journey to thin. :tounge_smile:

It sounds like what happened with your first surgery is he had trouble inserting the first trochar... which is the long needle through which they inject air. This is a blind insertion; the surgeon is supposed to hear 3 pops on the way in, and then confirm position by sucking back on the needle and then by dribbling in some fluid. There is the risk of hitting bowel, bladder, or more on the way in, and since it's blind it is just chance and the patient's anatomy, no fault of the surgeon. It is the nature of medicine that you can do everything right but not totally avoid bad outcomes. If he thought he hit something, instead of getting into the peritoneum cleanly, it makes sense that he'd do an exploration. It sounds like the doctor told you this, but that the info wasn't processed because you didn't know enough about the surgery and were perhaps still under influence of drugs or just very upset. Scars are no biggie...they fade. I've had 2 prior laparoscopic surgeries over the past 2 decades and you'd be hard pressed to know it, and I'm sure the most recent scars will fade too.