It's been one year and 8 months since my lap band surgery and I've had one heck of a time. I am wondering if others out there feel the same way I do...I made this decision to take control of my life and my eating and I struggle with it more now than ever before. It's like all I did was accentuate my problems...does anyone else feel this way? I have had so many issues with the band...too loose, so tight that I can't eat or drink anything, too tight and I immediately throw everything up, loosened to let my stomach heal and then abandoned by my doctors (or so it felt...). I had lost about 23 pounds and felt amazing, but I couldn't keep anything down anymore, so I went in and they x rayed me and literally everything I swallowed immediately came back up. I had stopped losing weight because I wasn't digesting much at all. So they loosened it all the way and asked me to come back two weeks later....they cancelled my appointments for a variety of reasons for 3 months, and I gained everything back plus 5 pounds...I was devestated. And it's so hard to explain to non lap band people...my friends seemed almost happy when the band was completely loose because I could eat again...almost as if my small and slow eating made them uncomfortable (has anyone else ever felt this way?) and I could eat ANYTHING for three months, and I did. I've never been so mad at myself or a situation in my life...so what did I do? After they tightened the band again I taught myself how to eat VEEEERRRRY slowly, and I gained even more weight. Add to that an unexplained illness that knocked me on my butt for about 6 weeks and I'm officially heavier than I've ever been. I'm going in this Thursday for another tightening, and to tell you the truth, I'm scared. I'm at 1.5 cc right now, and 2 cc was where I got so sick and they had to loosen it. I am so afraid that I wil have it tightened and the same thing will happen all over again...but at the same time I know I need it tightened. I've finally gotten my working out back on track and I feel great from that, and I think I just need a shake up as far as the band is concerned...does that make sense? Anway, I'm rambling because its late at night and I can't sleep for the worry, and I found this site. Does anyone have any advice or had an experience at all like this? I would appreciate any feedback...thanks for reading...