shellyphaunts

Yikes. I think you are right. Thank you so much for your help! I am going call my doctor in the morning. How are you doing now? Any post-band difficulties? Shelly

My band is unfilled as well. Since food won't stay down, I tend to eat a lot of yogurts, occasionally ice cream, and a lot of the time, even the slider foods feel as though they are just sitting at the bottom of my throat. Like if I were to bend over, they would just come right up. It's miserable!

Louisemom, Wow! You're story hits real close to home for me! I was banded in 2009, and lost 60 lbs the first year. Second year, my weight loss slowed down, and I started having problems keeping food down. in 2011 I was diagnosed with severe RA and had onset of symptoms, so my weight loss took a back seat. I've gotten to the point now, where no foods stay down. Most days I am lucky if I am able to eat a few bites of food.... All DAY. If any food does stay down, it upsets my stomach terribly. I always have stomach "discomfort", as if I've just eaten Thanksgiving dinner, even though my stomach is empty. My port site alway feels bruised or sore. Some days even a sip of water feels like it is "stuck". I have been taking steroids for two years straight, up to 60mgs a day at some points, in order to keep some of the inflammation under control. Taking all the pills is a nightmare. And of course I have gained every single flipping pound back. I feel like a failure. Which is one reason I haven't seen my doc about this issue. Plain and simple, I am embarrassed. Until I read your posts, I thought maybe it was the inflammation causing my problems, but now I wonder if there is a problem with my band? Thank u for opening my eyes! I am so very tired of throwing up six to ten times a day! I thought this was something I was just going to have to live with. But now I wonder if there is hope that this can be fixed! Shelly

Just curious, what were the symptoms that your band had slipped? I had my lap band surgery in 2009, did well for two year then was diagnosed with RA. Since then weight loss has taken a back seat to trying to find meds that help me have a life. But I haven't been able to consistently keep food down in a very long time. It usually comes up almost immediately. I also have significant discomfort in my stomach all the time. And when I DO keep food down, I get extremely nauseous. I am becoming quite concerned that something really is wrong. Thank you for your help! Shelly

Christaluv, so sorry to hear about your troubles! I am curious what your symptoms were? I've been having serious issues lately with food. There is nothing I can eat anymore that doesn't come up almost immediately. I have constant discomfort in my stomach, and it hurts as though I've eaten too much even though I haven't kept food down for days. When I finally do manage to keep food down, my stomach gets horribly upset. Sadly this has been going on for almost two years, and I have been too embarrassed to see my doctor. (Yes, I am an idiot) Hoping you get good news on your situation! Shelly

Saw my doctor for the first time in almost 3 months. Expected to get a big lecture on my fantastic 18 pound gain. Thankfully, he was very kind. Filled me up, 2cc's, and sent me on my merry way. Why did I gain? Why did I stop going to see him? It started as being fed up with not being able to eat and vomiting all the time. The last time I saw him, he removed most of my fill. I don't know what happened after that. I got really stressed out with hubby in Afghanastan. Mom being sick. Everything was totally overwhelming. And damn, it was so nice to eat bread!!! I love carbs. I'd missed carbs. Then it was suddenly Thanksgiving. Why not enjoy it with my family, eating next to them, normally. And Christmas. Part of Christmas is baking goodies, right? Yea, I did my part. And my neighbors part, and your neighbors part. I baked my brains out. But those are just excuses. I made the decision every morning, not to work out, not to follow my diet. And now, I feel awful. All that hard work, down the tubes. I can't believe how easy it was to gain. It didn't take long at all. Pretty damn easy. Sadly, it won't be that easy to take it off. But, I am ready. I want to hit my goal this year. I know I can. I know I will. 80 pounds in 12 months. I CAN DO IT!!!! Then watch out Hawaii, here I come!

When I finally decided on getting banded, I told my husband, my children and my parents. I hadn't yet decided if I wanted my sister to know. She is also obese and very emotionally unstable. Unfortunately, someone in my family has a very big mouth and didn't abide by wishes. My sister was told. She has been completely unsupportive to the point of mean. I've spent six months losing and gaining the same 15 pounds, miserable and feeling like I destroyed our family. Some rather rude comments she made over the summer have wreaked devistation on all of my relationships, and I am still trying to put the pieces back together. Just be careful who you tell. Some people, even people who supposedly love you, can't stand to watch you succeed. Especially when they can't.

Why do people have to be so damn mean!? Someone in my family remarked that by having WLS, I was "cheating" about six months ago, and I have not been the same since. OMG, it hurt me soooo much. And it managed to start a world war within my family and turn every relationship I have to crap. I feel like I am walking on egg shells around EVERY single person in my family. Well, except my kids and hubby, whom I thank GOD for everyday! If this is cheating how come you have to work so hard? If it were easy, I wouldn't be able to gain weight. And when I did, I could just wave my magic band and *poof* say goodbye to those pounds! I would already be at goal!! I would be so HAPPY, people would get cavities when I entered the room! And so the heck what if it is cheating!? If people who love us see us healthy and happy, why do they care if we "cheated" to get that way!? Seems to me it shouldn't make a difference. I think people just get jealous. Jealous that we got up off the couch and did something to improve ourselves. They didn't. So they're poo-pooing what we've done to make themselves feel better. And I'm sick of it! Yea, right, we cheated. And this is friggin' easy, pshaw. If you believe that, I've got a bridge out here in Tucson I can sell ya real cheap!

First, I must say this: I love my family with all my heart, but a select few are driving me completely insane! It hit me yesterday, that FEELING is not allowed in my family. Voicing your feelings is not tolerated. And I can't live my life like this anymore. I refuse to raise my children that way. Depression is anger turned inward. And if you don't discuss your feelings you stuff them, with food, alcohol, etc. I CANNOT DO THAT ANY LONGER! I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT ANY LONGER! I just end up hurting myself. I chose to have this surgery and change my life for ME! If you love me, then be happy for me and support me. Don't blackmail me emotionally. Don't lay someone else's shit sandwich in my lap. If someone else is depressed or unhappy, that person should DO something about it. It's NOT my fault if someone is upset and too depressed to go to work. Tell THEM to put THIER big girl panties on!! Cuz honey, I've had my big girl panties on for A LONG time. I am dealing with my issues. I am trying to become a better person. I am not crying to my Mommy and blaming others for my unhappiness. I OWN my issues. They are on ME! And don't emotionally blackmail my children when they express their feelings and those feelings upset you. YOU are the adult. Shame on you! SHAME ON YOU! It is only natural for a child to protect his parent. God knows I've tried to protect mine. Even when they probably didn't deserve it. But to not only negate their feelings, and then threaten them emotionally! SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!! That hurts me more than any of the bullshit that has been thrown at me the last year. All of it put together, doesn't hurt as much as when my son told me how he was treated last night. By his own grandparent. I still can't believe it. If you only knew how much you hurt him. And me. I know you want to live your life with your head in the sand and pretend everything is a-okay. Fine. You do that. But don't expect me to. And don't expect me to raise my children that way! I don't want them to wake up twenty years from now, full of self-loathing, and stuffing every feeling because they can't express them. Been there, done that, and it SUCKS! I just realized it's okay to take care of me. People actually DO THAT. Take care of themselves. And it's NOT selfish!! WHO KNEW!? All my life I have been terrified of being a selfish person. So I give till I have nothing left to give. And I wonder why I am empty? Cuz I gave it all away! Someday I hope it is okay to have my wishes respected. I really do. I think that would feel good. I remember when I told you I was going to have this surgery. I SPECIFICALLY asked you NOT to tell my sister. I hadn't decided if I wanted to tell her or not. Even then I had an inkling that she would not be supportive and that my decision would be a problem for her. But you told her. Thanks so much. I also tried to explain to you over Christmas that I needed to keep the negative people at arms length. To take care of me. I was feeling extremely vulnerable. Then you turn around and tell me I need to go talk to her. Practically blame her depression on ME! Thanks for throwing that steaming sack of shit in my lap. Totally appreciate that. And last night, when you thanked me for doing what you asked.... do you know how that made me feel? Like all was right with the world, because Jennifer was happy, and that was all that mattered. You didn't even notice that I was crying. That my eyes were swollen from crying all afternoon. That shows me exactly where I stand. Thank you for that too. You probably didn't notice that I was drinking for the first time in three months either. Or that I was five seconds away from bumming a cigarette off the grumpy guy. After 16 months of being smoke-free, I was completely ready to throw all that hard work out the window. Hello self-sabotage!!! My old friend! But I didn't. I guess I had my big girl panties on after all. Huh, Mom?

First, I must say this: I love my family with all my heart, but a select few are driving me completely insane! It hit me yesterday, that FEELING is not allowed in my family. Voicing your feelings is not tolerated. And I can't live my life like this anymore. I refuse to raise my children that way. Depression is anger turned inward. And if you don't discuss your feelings you stuff them, with food, alcohol, etc. I CANNOT DO THAT ANY LONGER! I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT ANY LONGER! I just end up hurting myself. I chose to have this surgery and change my life for ME! If you love me, then be happy for me and support me. Don't blackmail me emotionally. Don't lay someone else's shit sandwich in my lap. If someone else is depressed or unhappy, that person should DO something about it. It's NOT my fault if someone is upset and too depressed to go to work. Tell THEM to put THIER big girl panties on!! Cuz honey, I've had my big girl panties on for A LONG time. I am dealing with my issues. I am trying to become a better person. I am not crying to my Mommy and blaming others for my unhappiness. I OWN my issues. They are on ME! And don't emotionally blackmail my children when they express their feelings and those feelings upset you. YOU are the adult. Shame on you! SHAME ON YOU! It is only natural for a child to protect his parent. God knows I've tried to protect mine. Even when they probably didn't deserve it. But to not only negate their feelings, and then threaten them emotionally! SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!! That hurts me more than any of the bullshit that has been thrown at me the last year. All of it put together, doesn't hurt as much as when my son told me how he was treated last night. By his own grandparent. I still can't believe it. If you only knew how much you hurt him. And me. I know you want to live your life with your head in the sand and pretend everything is a-okay. Fine. You do that. But don't expect me to. And don't expect me to raise my children that way! I don't want them to wake up twenty years from now, full of self-loathing, and stuffing every feeling because they can't express them. Been there, done that, and it SUCKS! I just realized it's okay to take care of me. People actually DO THAT. Take care of themselves. And it's NOT selfish!! WHO KNEW!? All my life I have been terrified of being a selfish person. So I give till I have nothing left to give. And I wonder why I am empty? Cuz I gave it all away! Someday I hope it is okay to have my wishes respected. I really do. I think that would feel good. I remember when I told you I was going to have this surgery. I SPECIFICALLY asked you NOT to tell my sister. I hadn't decided if I wanted to tell her or not. Even then I had an inkling that she would not be supportive and that my decision would be a problem for her. But you told her. Thanks so much. I also tried to explain to you over Christmas that I needed to keep the negative people at arms length. To take care of me. I was feeling extremely vulnerable. Then you turn around and tell me I need to go talk to her. Practically blame her depression on ME! Thanks for throwing that steaming sack of shit in my lap. Totally appreciate that. And last night, when you thanked me for doing what you asked.... do you know how that made me feel? Like all was right with the world, because Jennifer was happy, and that was all that mattered. You didn't even notice that I was crying. That my eyes were swollen from crying all afternoon. That shows me exactly where I stand. Thank you for that too. You probably didn't notice that I was drinking for the first time in three months either. Or that I was five seconds away from bumming a cigarette off the grumpy guy. After 16 months of being smoke-free, I was completely ready to throw all that hard work out the window. Hello self-sabotage!!! My old friend! But I didn't. I guess I had my big girl panties on after all. Huh, Mom?

Thank you for the advice PHCathy! I hope at some point I can open up my heart to my sister, but right now, I really need some distance, for my own success and sanity. As for my best friend, this year she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. We used to work out together, but she can't anymore. Plus, I think there is a certain amount of depression that came with the diagnosis, as well as other life changes. It just seems that both of our lives changed so much this year, but in opposite ways. I try quite hard to remain close to her, and find things to do when she's feeling up to it, but it's difficult for her right now. . LMDiva~ I have been looking into the BodyBugg. Are you happy with it? Hugs to all,

I have been facing the "head hunger" issue alot lately. I don't think it's a coincidence that I've also been dealing with family "issues" lately as well. I think alot of this process is mental. I was going along, losing steadily, happy as a clam for the first six months of this journey. Then, bam! People in my life start spazzing out and I start getting inside my own head and weight loss has come to a screeching halt. Hunger is back, trying to knock down the door. I've begun to look at the reasons I became obese in the first place. I spoke to my doctor, explaining that my weight loss is affecting my relationships. He referred me to a psychologist he works with to help post-op bandsters "adjust." <Okay, pun intended!> :thumbup: Talk to your doctor about your hunger. Physical or mental, he can help you. All the best luck! Hugs,