ItalianSoul

I will eventually air my dirty laundry in my blog, but I wanted others to be able to really vent their own fustrations to be read by many, so I posted this conversation here. For me, I have SO many self-esteem, and confidence issues that stem from childhood, my teenage years, and young adulthood. For the most part, I have always been able to keep my weight under control until I joined the Air Force at 19. I did not realize how much of an emphasis the military puts on weight until I joined., the Air Force particularlly. The other branches seem to be more lax. To join I had to lose 10 pounds, which was a piece of cake. I was 170lbs and 5' 9". However, little did I know that little 10 pounds would be catapult me into obesity. I say that because the first week of basic training, I gained those 10 lbs back, thru Water weight. I looked puffy and weighed in heavy during our weekly mandatory weigh in. Because I was overweight, I was assigned a position within my flight (team of women) that was assigned to "fatties" (I kid you not, they said those exact words to me) My self esteem took a dive. Everytime I performed this duty, I, and everyone around me was reminded of how fat the military thought I and the women who performed it with me, were. In any case, I lost the weight over the next 5 weeks, graduated from basic training, completed technical school and was assigned my first military assignment. Here, I felt thin and strong and wonderful. I had muscles and for the first time ever, I had the confidence like that of a Roman Gladiator! :thumbup:I did not realize that my primary job would be so stationary. I also did not realize that the 3 men I worked with, were racist and sexist pigs. I ate to deal with my job experience and after about 6 months, I had gained 20 lbs and was put on what the military calls, "the fat boy list". I had to lose weight monthly and get up everyday at 5 AM to run with other "fatties" who were also on the list or be reprimanded. They do not care how you lose the weight, as long as its LOST. The military had absolutely no sympathy. I hated the people I worked with, and HAD to get away. So, I married someone I was not inlove with, just to get orders somewhere else. Fast forward, I'm married and got orders to another station. I was not happy in the marriage and felt completely stuck. We had a baby, (was not planned) and I suffered from post partum depression, plus I was never able to loose the baby weight, I just continued to gain and gain. I was so unhappy:crying: I will eventually put more in my blog, but this is quintesentially where I feel my excess weight came from and then excallated. Feelings of never feeling good enough, and I also think a part of it was me rebelling mentally against all entities who felt like they had control over my weight. Please share your sorrows and experiences. I feel that only people who have been overweight can ever really truely understand someone who is or has been overweight.

I totally feel ya on that. I would kill to wear a Victorias Secret Negligee! Not to meantion Fredricks of Hollywood nighties too. Just to be at the point where I'm not constantly adjusting my clothes because they fit just right and flow with my body, would be a wonderful feeling.

I am not yet banded, and currently my weight is 315. You can imagine I'm sure that there are not many choices for me. For me, I am dying to wear hip-huggers and actually be able to wear a belt.I havent been able to wear a belt for 12 yrs. I want to say bye-bye to elastic pants FOREVER!. Anything elsastic or stretch for that matter. I would LOVE to wear a bathing suit without a sarong to cover my huge thighs I am so looking forward to a smaller cup size, right now I am a 48 DDD. I hate walking into stores and walking past the lingerie isle and seeing all those cute little bra and panty sets in different colors and patterns and styles and then seeing plain jane stuff for women my size. Why is that anyway??? I want to be able to wear bikini panties and not granny panties the size of car covers anymore. I want to be able to wear linen too. As we all know, you can not wear linen and look good in it if you are a larger size. It dosent stretch. I would like to be able to put on a pair of stockings without feeling like I'm going to pop a blood vessel in my forhead or have an anurism from straining. I would like to be able to wear tank tops, and spaghetti straps and right now I can't because I feel my arms are too large Right now I have necklaces I can not wear because my neck looks like that of a linebackers! Sad. How did I let myself get this way? :rolleyes2: I know a lot of what I am saying sounds humorous, but the fact of the matter is I'm not happy with the clothes I am currently reduced to wear. Please share what you are dying to wear :0)

Hello Ladies! I am new to the site, well 3 days new, and currently have my first appointment January 8th. Woo Hoo! I have been reading your responses and it is such a breath of fresh air to see so many positive people here to help uplift those of us who are struggling or feeling a little discouraged. I know that there are men here too, but there is something so special and empowering about women coming together to give each other encouragement :rolleyes2: I love this site and am looking forward to using it as a tool to help me through the hard times. I think it is a very very good thing to lose the weight at a slower pace. vs hyperspeed with the Bypass. What is that saying about the tortoise and the hare? I think it is true, slow and steady wins the race. Besides, if the weight is lost too fast, there is a huge chance that the skin will sag and hang and not spring back and look youthful and supple. I have seen the pictures of bypass people vs those who have been banded, and I can see the skin differences. Alot of Bypass patients have excess skin that needs to be removed, especially in the stomach area. With the lap band, your body has more of a chance to adjust to the weighloss. Try not to think of it as a hinderance, but as a blessing in discuise :cursing:

Do any of you have to pay any application fees, doctor visit fees, or fees for your year follow-up programs? I researched Duke Bariatric Center and they wanted $250 just for the APPLICATION. I'm like...WHAT??? :scared2:They said it goes towards the facility, but COME ON. Made me wonder what other fees they would have thrown at me during the process. :rolleyes2:

Hello Everyone, Please do not get me wrong, I like Oprah, but I am not a die-hard, take a bullet for her, Oprah fan, I never have been. (yes we are out there lol) I think she has done a lot of good work for people for the most part, but IMO I feel like some of her messages are a bit obscure and misleading and people follow her like she is a dictator. What she says is interpreted as religion and that is dangerous. How she can be so negative about WLS is so typical of her judgemental character. I dunno, I think she is a good person all in all, but IMO does gets confused at times. In reference to Star Jones, as a fan, I really admired her for her spirit, spunk, and intellect. When she started losing weight and did not devulge to her fans the truth, it turned a lot of people off. Why did she feel she had to lie?? Of course it was her choice, but as a person in the public eye, I feel she had a responsibility towards her fans.

My husband and I were married Nov 23rd, and after I recieved my pictures of the wedding, I would have made Stevie Wonder pitty me. I looked like a cow, wrapped in a horse, wrapped in a whale! NO KIDDING. After thorough research over the past couple of days, I have finally decided to go with Dr. Enochs in Cary, North Carolina. After reading posts about him and visiting his website ect, I have come to the conclusion that he is the doctor I want to perform my lap band surgery. Tomorrow I am hoping they call me to schedule an appointment since I watched his online siminar (which you have to have a password emailed to you to view, and another one to document via email you actually finished the video) He seems knowlegable and I cant wait until they call me. I am praying that BCBS Federal (hubbies insurance) approves me, but from what I have read, I think they will. :blushing: I just told my husband that I was thinking about having the surgery last night and he was not too thrilled. Not with the surgery, but with the fact that I did not tell him it was something I had been thinking about for years. I am finally opening up to him about how I feel about my weight and my struggles, humiliations, and aches and pains. Still have not told him my weight though hehe. I am sure that will come soon enough...why rush it? :thumbup: He is very supportive and understands...well as much as a thin person who has never had a weight problem can understand. He loves me for me and that is more than I could have ever asked for. :wink:

My husband and I were married Nov 23rd, and after I recieved my pictures of the wedding, I would have made Stevie Wonder pitty me. I looked like a cow, wrapped in a horse, wrapped in a whale! NO KIDDING. After thorough research over the past couple of days, I have finally decided to go with Dr. Enochs in Cary, North Carolina. After reading posts about him and visiting his website ect, I have come to the conclusion that he is the doctor I want to perform my lap band surgery. Tomorrow I am hoping they call me to schedule an appointment since I watched his online siminar (which you have to have a password emailed to you to view, and another one to document via email you actually finished the video) He seems knowlegable and I cant wait until they call me. I am praying that BCBS Federal (hubbies insurance) approves me, but from what I have read, I think they will. :biggrin: I just told my husband that I was thinking about having the surgery last night and he was not too thrilled. Not with the surgery, but with the fact that I did not tell him it was something I had been thinking about for years. I am finally opening up to him about how I feel about my weight and my struggles, humiliations, and aches and pains. Still have not told him my weight though hehe. I am sure that will come soon enough...why rush it? :biggrin: He is very supportive and understands...well as much as a thin person who has never had a weight problem can understand. He loves me for me and that is more than I could have ever asked for. :thumbup:

HeyJachut, I totally feel ya on the whole Oprah love thing. I have a kind of love/hate relationship with her. I too am annoyed with her latest and greatest weight loss secrets! Not to meantion the doctors, psycholigists, spiritualists, nutritionists, personal traininers..ect she constantly has on her show as the "new" greatest person ever. I DO however, commend her for all her charity work and displaying her weighloss journey to America, and showing us that she is just a regular person like the rest of us....only richer. lol I wish Star Jones had been more open about her weighloss and just plain told the truth! I lost SO much respect for her, as I think most people did when she became a skinny b*tch. Not to meantion the circus and freakshow she put on by marrying that creepy husband of hers

Hi Inhishands and pretty14yah, I too am new to this site and am currently researching a doctor to perform my surgery. I didnt even tell my husband I was thinking about this until last night, but had been thinking about it for years. He was pretty hurt that he felt I couldnt confide in him, but as we all know, talking to someone who has never had a weight problem your deepest feelings about being fat is not exactly easy. In anycase, he too is worried, but supports me 100% I showed him a siminar online thru the doctor I am leaning towards. His name is Dr. Enoch of Cary, NC You can look at the online video instead of going to the live siminar. In anycase I am totally sure that I want the lap band instead of the bypass. The bypass just seems too permanent and invasive and risky. Our insurence is BCBS Federal, I hear they are pretty good in approving. I will let you all know soon hopefully if they approve me. Does anyone else have this insurance?