wendytip

Something is veeeerrrrry wrong when you've had several fills and can't feel any restriction. Also, I don't understand why anyone's doctore would be giving them several fills in the span of a few days. My first fill, I didn't feel any restriction either, but when I called back and told my doctor this, they explained to me that it's a slow process and they couldn't just rush in and fill again. So, it really makes me wonder about a surgeon that will fill a band so readily after surgery. They further explained that it usually takes about three times before they find just the right amount. So, after 3 fills in 4 months, each fill, one month apart) I'm going for my 6 month check up today, and there is NO WAY my doctor needs to add anything to my band. I can't really eat breads and very little meat, and can't hold more than about 3 or 4 ounces of food at a time. So, if I were doing everything I was supposed to be doing w/my band, (I am) and if I spent all that money, out of pocket (I did) then I'd be raising HELL if my band wasn't working. I'd want to know point blank why it works for some but it doesn't work for me. I'd read everything I could get my hands on about banding problems and then make an appointment with another gastric surgeon to have him/her take a look at my band, and maybe do my fills. Good luck with everything. I wish you the best.

Jlray, Okay, the title to your blog is "boys," and that about sums it up, doesn't it? Obviously, this male was a "boy," not a "man." And, I know I don't need to tell you that you're better off without that loser. Are all men losers? No...just most men. You know, I've been fat and I've been thin, and men/people treat you differently when you're fat. However, even at my heaviest, I still had men hit on me. People would say to me, "Oh, but you're not really fat." I'd be like, "Yeah, I'm really fat. You can't weigh as much as I do and not be fat...unless you're 12 feet tall...which, clearly, I am not...The point is; people never thought of me as fat because I don't think just because you're fat you can't be hot, and I don't think that just because you're thin you are hot...it's all in the attitude. Yes, it's different, and yes, men treat you differently. They don't look inside to see who you really are, and you know why?...BECAUSE THEY'RE MEN! They're visual...and sadly, most of them aren't that smart. It's not their fault, really. It's just that when all that blood rushes "below the belt," they can't think. Seriously...any boy that would lie to you and then disrespect you by asking for those kind of photos isn't worth your time. And just to show you that all men aren't ...*jerks (*not the "real" word I'm thinking of...think of a word that rhymes with picks, tricks and flicks,) let me tell you about my hubby. I've been with him for 17 years. When we started dating, I was chubby, then I got drop-dead-gorgous-thin, then I got fat, and then I fatter. When I topped out at 275 I still had to get dressed in the closed, so he wouldn't "jump" me. He's the only man in my life who has NEVER made me feel fat, or said anything about my weight...but then again, he is a MAN...not a boy. Hold out, girl. You're young. Good men are out there.

I don't know...in a way, I want to say, "WAIT! Think about what you're doing!" But, on the other hand, I think, well, maybe you just weren't ready. I was banded December 22, and my life is so great that I can't even believe it's mine. My whole life I've been a food addict. I'd always felt imprisoned by my addiction, and after my last, "last diet," when I'd lost 71 lbs., only to gain it all and then some back, I NEVER thought I'd be where I am today. I truly do believe that something good comes from every life experience, but I had to REALLY search to find the "good" in gaining all of that weight back. Finally, I realized the good lesson(s) to be learned. I found that, first of all, I am waaaay stronger than I ever imagined. Secondly, I learned to NEVER say "Never." The second that an addict thinks that they're "cured," is the very moment their addiction will kick their ass just to show them who the boss is! And third, I realized that even though I will always refer to myself as a recovering addict, and I will never say "never," I do know what to look for, as far as my triggers and weaknesses. For example, when I was post op. I was obviously, off sugar, and I just decided to stay off. Sugar is a HUGE trigger for me and I can't handle it...nope, not even one bite. I also learned that for many of us, we have to get down and roll around in the gutter before we can rise up. I've done my rolling around. My darkest days was when I was in the throes of my addiction. I won't go into how bad it was, but let's just say, it's a good thing that I have my children to think of. Until you're ready...really ready, I'm not sure how much good the band will do. The band is only a tool,and it's a lot of work. It's not just a lifestyle change; it's a lifestyle overhaul! I weighed in at 271 when I had my surgery, now I'm down 65 lbs. I don't regret my banding for a second, and sometimes I think I'm the only person in the world that really, REALLY knew what I was in getting into when I decided to be banded. I feel so blessed and lucky and joyous to have this second chance. It's like a dream to me, and so, it breaks my heart to read stories like yours. PLEASE...think about what you're considering doing. There is no easy way. And, I'm guessing you're a lot younger than I am. (I just turned 47) I know it's difficult, but you have to be willing to work it. I feel badly that so many people are not adequately informed by their doctors before they make such a huge life decision, but then again, can you really explain what it's like to be banded? I don't know, but I wish you the best.

64cat, It gets soooo much easier once you get a few fills. You're going through Bandster's Hell right now, but once they find your sweet spot (the correct amount of fill for your band,) you won't belive the difference. It usually takes a few trips to the doctor's office before they find the sweet spot because they can't just fill you all at once, so be patient, because once they do, you'll think you've died and gone to some kind of heaven!

You know, when I lost that 71 lbs. on Weight Watchers, I thought, "That's it! I'm no longer a fat girl. I'll never, EVER go back...yeah, right. However, I truly do belive that you can find something "good" in every situation, and even though it took me a while, I did find something good about gaining that weight back. The first good thing was that I learned to NEVER say never. For a food addict, the moment you think you're "fixed" or that you can handle it, is the moment that addiction will kick your ass and show you who's boss. It is so similar to being an alcoholic. If you heard an alcoholic say, "I got this. I can drink just every once in a while and I'm good," you'd think that person was crazy...well, food addicts are the same way. We can't handle it. We're addicts and we will always be addicts. It's a serious addiction and can be deadly. So, with that realization comes the beautiful truth of knowing that even though I will never say I'll never be fat again I can say that it's highly unlikely. You see, I know what to look out for, now. I know that it's bullshit for me to think I can eat birthday cake on my birthday, or to think I can eat a bite of chocolote, and since I know this, I don't even try it because that one bite could be the beginning of the end. Another good think from gaining all that weight back was that I'm more empathetic and understanding. I also am VERY grateful I'm so blessed to be right where I am. I never thought I'd be given a second chance. You remind me so much of me. Best of luck to you. I KNOW you'll achieve your goal.

This is my story. I’ll try to keep it as short and to the point as I can, and I’m not going to tiptoe around this. I was banded December 22, 2009. That was the day I was reborn, and my life changed in ways I never dreamed possible. I believe that for many of us; the ones with “true” addictions, it takes “rolling around in the gutter” before we can begin to rise up. My darkest days were when I was in the throes of my eating disorder. I can honestly tell you that if it weren’t for my children I think I would have killed myself. I used find comfort in imagining how I would “do it.” I was just so tired. Everyday was the same as the last. I would wake up and know that I was going to lose that battle with food, yet again. Some days I’d lose it before breakfast. Some days it might take me a few weeks before I finally lost control. Once, I made it over a year and lost 71 pounds…only to gain every ounce, and then some back again. So, I just wanted it to end. I just wanted peace. And don’t get me wrong; I refer to my eating disorder in the past tense, but it’s not a “past tense” thing at all. I consider myself to be a “recovering addict.” An alcoholic doesn’t get to say, “I used to be an alcoholic,” and I don’t get to say, “I used to have an eating disorder.” I DO have an eating disorder. I have to remember that or it will sneak up on me again and kick my ass. So, I say all that to really say this; people have to come into their own truth in their own time, and sadly, some never come into their truth at all. If you would have told me that one day I would have to be careful and remember to eat, I would have told you that you were crazy. If you would have told me that someday I would no longer be obsessed by food, I would have never believed a word of it. If you would have told me that one day I would give up sugar, I would have told you that you had the wrong girl. If you would have told me that I would no logger be plagued by, “when, where, what and how much do I get to eat, I would have told you, “Not in this lifetime.” But all of those things, and so much more has happed. My life is so great that I can’t believe it’s mine. Food is simply not that big of a deal to me any more, and I am so blessed to have this wonderful “tool” to help me succeed I’m free! I’m happy and really; the weight loss, those 60 pounds; that is “secondary.” YES; secondary; the peace of mind; that’s the PRIMARY benefit. Dropping 60 pounds in 5 months; that is simply an added bonus. I’m free! I’m happy and I am so BLESSED! So, all of you people who whine about liquid diets, or not getting to eat a bunch of junk or having to work out, or gaining weight, or the pain and discomfort of eating too fast or not chewing enough, or stretch marks, or not being able to pig out like you used to on holidays or special occasions…ENOUGH ALREADY! SHUT UP! I GET SO SICK OF THE UNGRATEFUL ATTITUDES! IF the bad is not working for you, it’s probably for one or two of the following reasons: You need a fill. You’re drinking with meals. You’re not working out. You’re not eating “protein” first, or taking in enough protein.. You’re “grazing” or eating a bunch of height/empty caloric foods You’re not “listening to your body,” when it tells you that you’ve had enough to eat. You’re not using the band as a “tool;” You’re expecting the band to do everything for you. Being banded is not a lifestyle change; it’s a lifestyle OVERHAUL. So, in life; if you're not getting the results you want, either change what you're doing or live with.

That is terrible! I see nothing wrong with what you said, and you should have gotten some empathy and support...go eat a donut? There is no excuse for someone to make a remark like that. Again, I apologize for the insensitivity of others.

Okay...something is very wrong here. Let me tell you the way it worked for me with my fills, and from what I've read, this is pretty much the way it's supposed to work, but let me reiterate: this is only my personal experience. I went in for my first fill and didn't really feel anything at all. I called the doctor's office and they said that was normal. Most people don't feel anything that much at all the first time. They also told me that it's a slow procress to find the "sweet spot," but that we should hit it about the third or fourth time. The second time I went in. They filled my band some more and I could really tell it...I thought. I thought I had hit the sweet spot so much so, that when I went in for my third fill, I told the nurse that I was certain that I didn't need anything done to my band. She Then, she says, "Oh yeah, you need a fill." When asked her how she knew that she told me that she could tell by the way the liquid was going down easily. So, she gave me just a little boost and THAT was when they found my sweet spot. I only thought I was properly filled before. Here's what it's like for me, and I really hate telling you this because I don't want to make your situation any worse by letting you know how great it can be, when you're not getting what you need...but then, I think, well, if you don't know what a proper fill is like then how will you ever know? When you're properly filled there is NO doubt that you're banded. You can only eat about 4 ounces of "real" food...not water based foods like salad and fruit, and not ice cream, not the stuff that goes through your band, but "real" food. If you eat too much, you won't have to "make" yourself stop eating because the food will feel like it's coming back up your throat...because it is! If you don't chew enough it feels like you're having a freaking massive heart attack! When you're properly filled, your appetite just goes away after a few bites. You don't binge and stuff yourself because you can't. One of the things that struck me about your response to me was when you stated that everyone keeps telling you to stop eating. Well, one of the first things my nurse asked me, and this is when I was certain that I was filled properly, was "How much food can you eat at one time?" When I told her, it evidentally tipped her off that something was wrong, and now I know why. "Yes, you do have to take some responsibilty for knowing when to stop eating, but really, it's very easy to figure out; when you feel food start to come back up your throat- you stop eating. After awhile, it won't even get to that point. You just kind of know how much you can eat. So, in my non professional opinion, when you have to tell a lap band patient, who is doing everything they are supposed to do and not only hasn't lost any weight, but keeps gaining that they should make themselves stop eating then something is wrong. If we could make ourselves stop eating we wouldn't have the lap band, now would we? Yes, you have to do your part, but when you do your part and you're gaining...no; that's not right, and then have you watch as you swallow. You can see the liquid slooooowwwwly going down. If I were the doctor I would want to let my patient see that I had done everything I was supposed to do, or I would want to know if the band had a leak... It just should not be this hard for you. Why don't you ask your doctor to hook you up to the xray machine as you swallow. If he refuses...I'd wonder why, and then I'd get a new doctor. One more question; do you ever feel restriction when you're getting a fill? If not, do you tell the doctor as he's filling you that you don't feel anything? If you do tell him, what does he say, because when they give you a good size bump to that band, you can feel it immediately. Wendy

I LOVED reading your Blog! Honey, you are wise beyond your years...and I know that you've suffered lots of pain obtaining that wisdom. I too dipped below that 200 mark. I lost 71 pounds, and gained it all back. After years of thinking how stupid it sounded to refer to myself as an "addict", I finally accepted my truth. I am an addict. I am a recovering food addict. If you don't name it, you can't claim it, and if you can't claim it you'll never change it. And I'm one of those people who shouted it from the rooftops when I was banded. When people say stupid stuff, I simply look them dead in the eye and ask, "And this is a fact, or simply an inaccuracy that you've come up with on your own?" Sometimes, though, I just laugh and tell them to "Kiss my used to be fat ass!" You'd be suprised how resiliant you get as you get older! You inspire me, and I know you inspire your children! Good for you, girl. You keep on keeping on, and when people hate on you, just remember that it's only because they want what you have!

Okay...so, I wasn’t trying to judge or come across as harsh in my previous blog, and for MONTHS I’ve read so MUCH B.S…and I didn’t blog anything “negative,” because I didn’t want to be negative, or hurt anyone's feelings. But for the love of Kirstie Ally, people; let’s all just ‘fess up and be honest! For those who have legitimate problems with their band...for those who have worked and struggled, and continue to work and struggle (and, yes, it will continue to be a struggle, and NO Virginia, there is no magic-cure-all-procedure…you stand a better chance of there actually being a Santa Claus.) For everyone who needs to hear some encouraging words every once in a while, or for people who have simple questions or suggestions; for the pre-ops and post-ops (can you hear the national anthem playing in the background?...) this site is a great place. HOWEVER… for the people (and you know who you are,) who whine and cry and bitch and moan because they: · Can't seem to stop drinking sodas, and then proclaim that: the band isn’t working. · It's day 3 post op, and even though they’ve managed to puree lasagna and a Bundt cake and drink it through a straw, they CAN'T understand why: the band isn’t working. · Their friends and family aren't supportive and they don't understand. They continue to insist upon having fried chicken and mashed potatoes, sweet corn casserole, yeast rolls and fried okra every Friday night, and they simply can’t tell them “no.” I mean never mind the fact that they sabotage the Bandsters efforts and don’t need to be eating that unhealthy crap…they fix the food anyway, eat the food, and then complain that the band isn’t working. · Instead of eating protein first, they eat a big plate of loaded up nachos because the extra cheese and meat and melted cheese, and cheese IS protein, and then; SURPRISE, they don’t lose any weight and of course; the band isn’t working. · Just can’t seem to get into working out in any way shape or form, and so, it must be that: the band isn’t working. News Flash: most Bandsters; we don’t get “into” working out either, but we do it; not because it’s fun or makes us feel alive or at peace with the world, but because we know we have to. · Kind of, sort of went a little crazy celebrating Vernal Equinox day, their niece’s graduation, their best friends, sister’s son’s Bris, or that most recent holiday and grazed 24/7 on crap that they KNOW they shouldn’t’ t have been eating, and now: the band isn’t working. · They count alcohol as part of their water intake…Eight, 8 ounce glasses of Peach Stoli and tonic a day!...but: the band isn’t working. · They figure that since they’ve had the band, and even though it’s been stressed that it is just a tool and, that they have to eat three small meals a day...of lean, healthy foods, and become physically active, that they can continue to do things way they’ve always done it, somehow get completely different results, because hey, when they tell everyone how the band works and what to do, they weren’t really talking to them…just everybody else, and by the way; the band isn’t working. So, yeah…there it is. For all you pre-ops who may be reading this, take heart; the BAND DOES WORK...as a wonderful, life changing tool. You do your part and it will work. For all of you post-ops and Bandsters; the BAND DOES WORK…as a wonderful, life changing tool...You do your part…really do your part and it will work.

BioTeacher, PLEASE do not misunderstand me. My heart breaks when I hear stories like yours. When you do everything you can think of and not only don't lose, but gain...I think I would go totally mental. Let me ask you this? When you go in for a fill, I would assume that your doctor has you stand in front an X ray machine as you drink that chalky cocktail, so that he can see how the liquid is going down-right? If you had a "leak" or another type of malfunction with your band, could the doctor see that at that time? That is the only other thing I can think of, but although I am an opinionated sort; I am not a doctor, so if I were you I'd ask another doctor; get a second opinion. There is simply no reason why you should be having such a difficult time. Have you lost any weight at all? If not, I'd ask around and find out how your doctor's other patients are doing with their band to try and discern if it's something you're doing wrong or the doctor is doing wrong. But, get a second opinion. There's more than one doctor that does fills. Talk with you're general physician. There's got to be a reason you're not losing. I hope this helps you. Please keep me posted.

Thank you, and the very best of luck to you

This is my story. I’ll try to keep it as short and to the point as I can, and I’m not going to tiptoe around this. I was banded December 22, 2009. That was the day I was reborn, and my life changed in ways I never dreamed possible. I believe that for many of us; the ones with “true” addictions, it takes “rolling around in the gutter” before we can begin to rise up. My darkest days were when I was in the throes of my eating disorder. I can honestly tell you that if it weren’t for my children I think I would have killed myself. I used find comfort in imagining how I would “do it.” I was just so tired. Everyday was the same as the last. I would wake up and know that I was going to lose that battle with food, yet again. Some days I’d lose it before breakfast. Some days it might take me a few weeks before I finally lost control. Once, I made it over a year and lost 71 pounds…only to gain every ounce, and then some back again. So, I just wanted it to end. I just wanted peace. And don’t get me wrong; I refer to my eating disorder in the past tense, but it’s not a “past tense” thing at all. I consider myself to be a “recovering addict.” An alcoholic doesn’t get to say, “I used to be an alcoholic,” and I don’t get to say, “I used to have an eating disorder.” I DO have an eating disorder. I have to remember that or it will sneak up on me again and kick my ass. So, I say all that to really say this; people have to come into their own truth in their own time, and sadly, some never come into their truth at all. If you would have told me that one day I would have to be careful and remember to eat, I would have told you that you were crazy. If you would have told me that someday I would no longer be obsessed by food, I would have never believed a word of it. If you would have told me that one day I would give up sugar, I would have told you that you had the wrong girl. If you would have told me that I would no logger be plagued by, “when, where, what and how much do I get to eat, I would have told you, “Not in this lifetime.” But all of those things, and so much more has happed. My life is so great that I can’t believe it’s mine. Food is simply not that big of a deal to me any more, and I am so blessed to have this wonderful “tool” to help me succeed I’m free! I’m happy and really; the weight loss, those 60 pounds; that is “secondary.” YES; secondary; the peace of mind; that’s the PRIMARY benefit. Dropping 60 pounds in 5 months; that is simply an added bonus. I’m free! I’m happy and I am so BLESSED! So, all of you people who whine about liquid diets, or not getting to eat a bunch of junk or having to work out, or gaining weight, or the pain and discomfort of eating too fast or not chewing enough, or stretch marks, or not being able to pig out like you used to on holidays or special occasions…ENOUGH ALREADY! SHUT UP! I GET SO SICK OF THE UNGRATEFUL ATTITUDES! IF the bad is not working for you, it’s probably for one or two of the following reasons: You need a fill. You’re drinking with meals. You’re not working out. You’re not eating “protein” first, or taking in enough protein.. You’re “grazing” or eating a bunch of height/empty caloric foods You’re not “listening to your body,” when it tells you that you’ve had enough to eat. You’re not using the band as a “tool;” You’re expecting the band to do everything for you. Being banded is not a lifestyle change; it’s a lifestyle OVERHAUL. So, in life; if you're not getting the results you want, either change what you're doing or live with.

Perhaps you need a fill.

I go for my 5 month weigh in this Friday, and I can't wait! The decision to be "banded" was the best decision I've ever made! At my last weigh in, almost a month ago, I hit my 4 month Bandiversary, and was down 48 pounds! I started out at 271 and had lost down to 223. I'm pretty good at knowing about how much I'm going to lose every month...yep, I only weigh ONCE a month. For me, I know I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing, so I don't see the point in weighing anymore than that. So, I'm thinking I'll probably lose about 10lbs and that will put me at almost 60 down! I've always said that the weight loss is "secondary" for me; it's the sanity and the peace of mind that's the real payoff in my life...however, I will say this: I, Wendy Tippens, who hasn't ventured out of the "plus size" section for at least 4 years, now gets to shop in the MISSES section. I also get to "tuck in." My clothes do not have elastic anymore, but ZIPPERS! Do you hear me? ZIPPERS! Can I see my toes yet? NO! Do I care? HELL, NO! I'll get there, but what's the rush? For right now, let me revel in the beauty of actually getting to "shop!" I don't mean choosing between what looks like a shower curtain made into a dress, or a caftan like my memaw used to wear; No! I get to shop. I get to stand at a rack of clothing between the sizes of 14-16 (sometimes even a 12!) and happily flip those hangers for hours if I want. And I might do just that. I might just take a day off and look at garment after garment after garment. I think I'll try each and every one of them on. Do I have any intention of buying? Nope! I just want to spend the day in the "normal" section and try on every single damn article of clothing I can find. Why?...BECAUSE I CAN...because...I...can.

I know exactly what you're going through. My first fill; nothing, and when I called they told me that they have to "fill" you slowly and that it usually takes a few times before they find the "sweet spot." My second fill, I thought they'd found it. I event told my nurse that I didn't think I needed anything, but she took a look anyway, just to be sure. Well, it turns out that even though I was "almost" there, I wasn't quite there yet, so she gave me just a little bit more. That definately did it! So...I said all that, to get to this; it usually takes between 2 and 3 times, but hang in there. It is definately worth it!

I go for my 5 month weigh in this Friday, and I can't wait! The decision to be "banded" was the best decision I've ever made! At my last weigh in, almost a month ago, I hit my 4 month Bandiversary, and was down 48 pounds! I started out at 271 and had lost down to 223. I'm pretty good at knowing about how much I'm going to lose every month...yep, I only weigh ONCE a month. For me, I know I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing, so I don't see the point in weighing anymore than that. So, I'm thinking I'll probably lose about 10lbs and that will put me at almost 60 down! I've always said that the weight loss is "secondary" for me; it's the sanity and the peace of mind that's the real payoff in my life...however, I will say this: I, Wendy Tippens, who hasn't ventured out of the "plus size" section for at least 4 years, now gets to shop in the MISSES section. I also get to "tuck in." My clothes do not have elastic anymore, but ZIPPERS! Do you hear me? ZIPPERS! Can I see my toes yet? NO! Do I care? HELL, NO! I'll get there, but what's the rush? For right now, let me revel in the beauty of actually getting to "shop!" I don't mean choosing between what looks like a shower curtain made into a dress, or a caftan like my memaw used to wear; No! I get to shop. I get to stand at a rack of clothing between the sizes of 14-16 (sometimes even a 12!) and happily flip those hangers for hours if I want. And I might do just that. I might just take a day off and look at garment after garment after garment. I think I'll try each and every one of them on. Do I have any intention of buying? Nope! I just want to spend the day in the "normal" section and try on every single damn article of clothing I can find. Why?...BECAUSE I CAN...because...I...can.

I'm glad to know that my posts are helpful. I know that it can be really difficult at times, but I just try to stay positive and let others know that it can be accomplished. Best of luck to everyone!

Today is 4 months to the day since I was banded, and the day that I went for my four month weigh in. And here's something strange; recently, I've been having these feelings of "sadness" every month. I couldn't figure out what was going on' everything would be going great, and then "wham;" a dark cloud. Finally, I figured it out, and here's how the madness would begin. I only weigh once a month... (I HIGHLY recommend it, btw.) Anyway, when it would get down to a couple of days before my "weigh day" the sadness would start, and this never happened until I they found my "sweet spot." So, here's the deal; when I walk around and feel "full," I automatically think that I've been binging. Then I think about how I've gone back to my old ways, and I can't believe I did that, and God only knows how much weight I'll gain when I go to the doctor's office. See, I'm not used to feeling full without overeating, and that's what was bringing me down. I've had to keep a food journal, so that I can look back and prove to myself that I haven't overeaten. Then, when I think, "Crap! I've messed this up," I can look back and go, "Oh, okay; I've only eat 1200 calories a day, so I'm good." Fast forward to today, and even though I know better, I have been stressing like crazy about weighing. I get on the scale, and of course I know what I need to weigh. I shoot for 2 lbs a week, so I know I need to weigh 225. The readout on the scale was 223! And I think, "How can that be? How can that possibly be? I'm not starving. I'm not constantly obsessing about food. I'm not angry or cranky, so how can it be that I've lost 48 pounds? So, I hop off the scale, grab the nurse and give her a big hug, then head out the door. As I get to my car I start to cry. I just can't believe how great my life is and how much everything has changed.