wendytip

Thank you so very much!

I’m in New Orleans; in the French Quarter…now…right now! I am typing this blog from my hotel room as you read. Nyal’leens is a very cool place…not as great-awesome-I-must-have-died-and-gone-to-heaven-fantastic as NYC, but very nice all the same. Of course, maybe I’m not being fair. Maybe I can’t really give Nyal-leens it’s due, because I’m experiencing so many amazing “firsts.” This is the first time that I’ve ever gone on vacation and been totally bummed because I forgot my running shoes. This is the first time that I’ve gone on vacation, and although, I do still have “hammy” arms, I’m not worried about it, AND hell yes, I go sleeveless. But most importantly…and this is HUGE; this is the first time that I’ve gone on vacation and been off sugar AND not completely obsessed over food for the right reasons. I’ll explain. In the past I’ve gone on vacation and not obsessed over food. Yes; that is true. But I didn’t obsess because I was eating…everything. So, there was nothing to obsess over. I was all out, no holds barred, eating. The times that I went on vacation and obsessed about food was when I had either just came off of a diet, or I was on a diet, but had taken “vacation week” off from dieting and/or eating right. You know how that goes. “I’m going on vacation and it will just be too hard to be on a diet. “I’m not going to go on vacation and NOT eating. That’s crazy. I only go on vacation once a year.” “God, I’ve worked so hard on this diet so that I can fit into this ridiculously tiny bikini to impress a bunch of people that I don’t know and will never see again, and now that I made my goal I can eat!...of course I’ll only eat while I’m on this vacation, and the minute I get back home I’ll cut out all the junk…but that means when I actually pull into my driveway; not on the way home, but when I GET home…unless of course, we get home on a Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday because I can’t cut all the vacation eating halfway through the week…I’ll just wait until Monday. Everyone knows that Monday is the official “I’m back on my diet and/or eating healthy” day. Now, in the past, when I had employed any of these excuses/strategies I would get CRAZY. I’d be obsessing about food because I had deprived myself for soooo long and food was the ultimate reward, so I’d obsess over what kind of off limits goodies I was going to eat. Also, I’d know that I only had vacation to eat this way, so I’d gorge myself…because I’d have to go on a diet/start eating right when I got back home, and even if I didn’t want the food I’d know that I’d be kicking myself come Monday. I knew I’d be thinking, “Damn, I KNEW should’ve eating that huge dessert that I didn’t have room for when I had the chance! Yes, it would have made me sick, but who cares? Now it’s MONDAY and I can’t HAVE IT! *One time, I was on a family vacation in Daytona Beach, and I had just come off of this horrible starvation diet (I was 23, 5’7 and weighed 114) I know, crazy, right? So, we were at this restaurant; Captain Cody’s, and I had already eaten a full mean, and I was stuffed…but I wanted dessert, so I ordered it. I want you to know, that I was so stuffed and miserable that I could not stay awake at the table! I put my head down and nodded off. Yes! I was Thanksgiving Day full, and when they brought my dessert I roused myself awake and ate it! But this year…for the first time in my 47 year old life I went on vacation and food was not a big deal. Let me just say that again because it just feels so damn good; I went on vacation (and was off sugar,) and FOOD WAS NO BIG DEAL! I’m a lucky girl!

Well, if you're laughing post op, at least you're not thinking about food! Best of luck to you.

To the tune of Let's just kiss and say goodbye. I had to throw you in the trash, Or I would have eaten you in a flash. This hurts me more than you could know, But this is it! You’ve got to go! You’re my heart, yes, you’re my soul, But I have no self control. As much as I want you in my life, Let’s just kiss and say good-bye.

I went for my 6 month check up and I'm down 64 pounds! I can hardly believe that next month I'll FINALLY be in ONEDERLAND! I'm not sure what I'm going to do to celebrate...of course just being there is really enough! I haven't gotten around to posting any progress pix lately, but I'll do it this weekend. If anyone is interested, check out my video blog on "youtube;" That Crazy Fat Chick Episodes 1-3. Now, I gotta tell you, I pretty much say what's on my mind, so "watcher be warned," I guess.

Oh, I almost forget. Here’s a recipe for a refreshing summer smoothie that I enjoy frequently…especially since giving up my beloved sugar free ice cream bars. Fill your blender about ½ to capacity with fresh seedless watermelon. Add ½ can of unsweetened pineapple. Add ½ packet of any sugar free, fruit punch drink mix. Make sure it’s the 2 quart sized packet, and not those singles for bottled water. Add two or three packets of artificial sweetner. Fill blender the rest of the way with water and ice. Give it whir and enjoy. Besides, it’s the only way you can eat watermelon and pineapple now that you’re banded! Cheers!

Oh, I almost forget. Here’s a recipe for a refreshing summer smoothie that I enjoy frequently…especially since giving up my beloved sugar free ice cream bars. Fill your blender about ½ to capacity with fresh seedless watermelon. Add ½ can of unsweetened pineapple. Add ½ packet of any sugar free, fruit punch drink mix. Make sure it’s the 2 quart sized packet, and not those singles for bottled water. Add two or three packets of artificial sweetner. Fill blender the rest of the way with water and ice. Give it whir and enjoy. Besides, it’s the only way you can eat watermelon and pineapple now that you’re banded! Cheers!

Don't judge your amazing success by others progress. Yeah, you need to make sure that you stay focused, but damn, it's hot! I live in Tennessee, and honey, IT IS HOT! I have to get up early in the morning to get my run/walk in...or I have to do it after 8 in the evening. 65 pounds is an amazing amount of weight to lose and you've lost it in less than a year! If you want to see just how much you've lost, go buy some 5 lb. bags of sugar. Put them in a couple of backpacks and take a little walk; THAT'S how much you've lost! Don't sell yourself short, you've accomplished so much.

That is so awesome! Congrats to you and way to go! I can't wait to say that I'm 5 lbs. from goal!

Thanks so much FFC, And you're right, it's not all all rainbows and butterflies, but it's so definately worth it! Don't let the hard times or negativity that you may encounter from people and/or other Bandsters get you down. Do what you're supposed to do and enjoy the ride. Celebrate every lost ounce! By the way, I have some video blogs on youtube if you'd like to check them out; That Crazy Fat Chick.

The hardest thing for me to deal with after being banded is that I’ve had to learn how to live my life without “using” food. Not that I’m trying to be dramatic, but I consider myself to be a recovering addict, and that’s pretty much something that no one goes over with you in pre-op orientation. For the longest time, I couldn’t figure out why I would have periods ranging from slight sadness to extreme anger, and it would happen all of a sudden. Then, the other day, after an explosive confrontation with someone, it came to me so clearly: I’m having to deal with, cope with life without my “crutch.” It’s like being an alcoholic or a recovering drug addict. I mean, I could make any situation so much better for the time it took to wallow in some food. Bad day, argument with my husband, coworkers driving me crazy, overdrawn bank account…whatever…no worries…give me a cheeseburger from the Sonic, a large order of onion rings, a route 44 Slushy and a bag of Hershey’s kisses with almonds and my world could come crashing down around me, and I’d die smiling; but no more. Now, I have to deal with things…REALLY deal with them. I see things clearly…too clearly at times. But hey, I’ll gladly learn how to live this way, and I mean “gladly”; gratefully, happily and gladly.

Okay, so here is the ugly truth that I’ve been trying not to blog about. Yes, I am down 64 pounds, since being banded December 22, 2008… (I’m thinking about changing my birthday to that day, by the way…except then, I’d be one of those poor unfortunate souls who have their B.Ds close to Christmas…and that would suck) Anyway, I go into my doctor’s office for my 6 month weight in, and do keep in mind that I can almost pinpoint exactly how much I’m going to lose. So, I’m putting my weight loss at about 12 lbs. I get on the scales and I’m down from 213 to 207. “What the HELL?” I wanted to scream. Ohhhhh, I was pissed/upset. I thought about DEMANDING that the nurse weight me again because there had to be something wrong with those scales…all of a sudden. Of course, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with those same scales when I was losing more weight…hmmmm… Then I thought that I could strip out of my clothes real quick, and jump back on the scales for one more try. You know, like best 2 out of 3 or something. I mean, there had to be something wrong! Maybe that nurse forgot to “clear” the last person’s weight out…like a calculator. Or maybe…just maybe…I had not lost as much as I wanted because I had slacked off…No. That couldn’t be it; I so desperately wanted to believe. But deep down in my gut…which was not near as big as it was 6 months ago, I knew the truth, and here it is: Once an addict; always an addict. Sorry, but it’s true. And I know that Tiffany (My girl that does my “how’s it going with your band?” talk) thought I was being a greedy selfish pig…which I was. When I told her why I was upset, she told me how proud she was of me. Tiff: You’ve lost 64 pounds! That’s so awesome. Me: (pouting) I know, but I wanted to lose more. Tiff: No. You don’t need to lose anymore. You don’t need to lose it too fast. Me: I wanted to lose more. Tiff: But, you’re doing so great. The 6 month average is 50 pounds. You’re on the high end of that. Me: I wanted to lose more. Tiff: But, your fat percentage is down. Maybe your body is just trying to take a break. Me: I wanted to lose more…I wanted to lose MORE…I WANTED TO LOSE MORE!!! I didn’t go quite like that, but pretty close. The thing that bugged me was this: I gave up sugar when I got banded, but Good Humor makes these wonderful little sugar free ice cream pops, and well, you know me…a big ole’ food addict, that of course kidded myself into thinking that I could handle it. So, for the past month my breakfast consists of at least two of those pops. Yeah….there’s twelve pops in a box and I can go through that in about 2 days. And here’s the really messed up part: I count my calories. I don’t eat over 1200 a day, but that sort of defeats the purpose when I’m scarfing 600 of those daily calories in SUGAR FREE ICE CREAM POPS. And…it’s not like I’m not 47 YEARS OLD AND KNOW BETTER THAN THIS! And that, my dears, is the REAL reason that my weight loss wasn’t as good as it should have been was because of me…me, me, me! So yeah, Once an addict; always an addict. But let me tell you something, I didn’t get my fat ass kicked the last time when I lost all that weight and gained it back for nothing. I know when the game is up, and the game was definitely up! I went home and flushed the rest of the heroin down the toilet…Oh, did I just refer to those empty caloried ice cream pops as “heroin?” Yeah, there’s a reason for that…I got rid of all the “stuff,” and knew it was over. Yeah, I still wanted to cry when I threw it out. It was like getting rid of the vestiges of love affair gone bad. I wanted to cry after that ice cream, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s not you. It’s me. I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU…WAHHHHHHHH. Don’t leave me! It’s gone, and it’s gone forever. Sometimes I wish I could be “normal,” but I’ll settle for happy. I’m okay though. Damn, I miss that ice cream.

See, here’s the thing; I don’t think having a singular scoop of ice cream is a big deal, but my problem is that I don’t want a singular scoop of ice cream. I want my scoop and your scoop and the person in front of me in line, I want their scoop too. Then, I’d like some ice cream to take home for later. Later, meaning way after 10:00 at night, probably…when it can do me the most harm. You know, as a kid, I remember that Baskin Robbins had this delectable monstrosity of ice cream called THE MATERHORN! It was not one, not two, but SEVEN scoops of ice cream! In my pre pubescent fat girl’s mind I dreamed not of receiving my first kiss from Donny Osmond, not of Bobby Sherman taking me on my first “car date,” and not even of wearing a purple, crush velvet pantsuit and walking down the aisle, carrying a Partridge Family lunchbox in lieu of a bouquet to utter dreamily, “I do…think I love you,” to my teen idol soul mate David “Keith Partridge” Cassidy!” No, I didn’t wax rhapsodic for any of these dreams; instead, I dreamed of having one of those 7 scoop treats all to myself! Yep, that’s my problem because that’s just the way I roll… (although, thank God, not literally.)

To the tune of Let's just kiss and say goodbye. I had to throw you in the trash, Or I would have eaten you in a flash. This hurts me more than you could know, But this is it! You’ve got to go! You’re my heart, yes, you’re my soul, But I have no self control. As much as I want you in my life, Let’s just kiss and say good-bye.

Okay, so here is the ugly truth that I’ve been trying not to blog about. Yes, I am down 64 pounds, since being banded December 22, 2008… (I’m thinking about changing my birthday to that day, by the way…except then, I’d be one of those poor unfortunate souls who have their B.Ds close to Christmas…and that would suck) Anyway, I go into my doctor’s office for my 6 month weight in, and do keep in mind that I can almost pinpoint exactly how much I’m going to lose. So, I’m putting my weight loss at about 12 lbs. I get on the scales and I’m down from 213 to 207. “What the HELL?” I wanted to scream. Ohhhhh, I was pissed/upset. I thought about DEMANDING that the nurse weight me again because there had to be something wrong with those scales…all of a sudden. Of course, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with those same scales when I was losing more weight…hmmmm… Then I thought that I could strip out of my clothes real quick, and jump back on the scales for one more try. You know, like best 2 out of 3 or something. I mean, there had to be something wrong! Maybe that nurse forgot to “clear” the last person’s weight out…like a calculator. Or maybe…just maybe…I had not lost as much as I wanted because I had slacked off…No. That couldn’t be it; I so desperately wanted to believe. But deep down in my gut…which was not near as big as it was 6 months ago, I knew the truth, and here it is: Once an addict; always an addict. Sorry, but it’s true. And I know that Tiffany (My girl that does my “how’s it going with your band?” talk) thought I was being a greedy selfish pig…which I was. When I told her why I was upset, she told me how proud she was of me. Tiff: You’ve lost 64 pounds! That’s so awesome. Me: (pouting) I know, but I wanted to lose more. Tiff: No. You don’t need to lose anymore. You don’t need to lose it too fast. Me: I wanted to lose more. Tiff: But, you’re doing so great. The 6 month average is 50 pounds. You’re on the high end of that. Me: I wanted to lose more. Tiff: But, your fat percentage is down. Maybe your body is just trying to take a break. Me: I wanted to lose more…I wanted to lose MORE…I WANTED TO LOSE MORE!!! I didn’t go quite like that, but pretty close. The thing that bugged me was this: I gave up sugar when I got banded, but Good Humor makes these wonderful little sugar free ice cream pops, and well, you know me…a big ole’ food addict, that of course kidded myself into thinking that I could handle it. So, for the past month my breakfast consists of at least two of those pops. Yeah….there’s twelve pops in a box and I can go through that in about 2 days. And here’s the really messed up part: I count my calories. I don’t eat over 1200 a day, but that sort of defeats the purpose when I’m scarfing 600 of those daily calories in SUGAR FREE ICE CREAM POPS. And…it’s not like I’m not 47 YEARS OLD AND KNOW BETTER THAN THIS! And that, my dears, is the REAL reason that my weight loss wasn’t as good as it should have been was because of me…me, me, me! So yeah, Once an addict; always an addict. But let me tell you something, I didn’t get my fat ass kicked the last time when I lost all that weight and gained it back for nothing. I know when the game is up, and the game was definitely up! I went home and flushed the rest of the heroin down the toilet…Oh, did I just refer to those empty caloried ice cream pops as “heroin?” Yeah, there’s a reason for that…I got rid of all the “stuff,” and knew it was over. Yeah, I still wanted to cry when I threw it out. It was like getting rid of the vestiges of love affair gone bad. I wanted to cry after that ice cream, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s not you. It’s me. I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU…WAHHHHHHHH. Don’t leave me! It’s gone, and it’s gone forever. Sometimes I wish I could be “normal,” but I’ll settle for happy. I’m okay though. Damn, I miss that ice cream.

Today is 4 months to the day since I was banded, and the day that I went for my four month weigh in. And here's something strange; recently, I've been having these feelings of "sadness" every month. I couldn't figure out what was going on' everything would be going great, and then "wham;" a dark cloud. Finally, I figured it out, and here's how the madness would begin. I only weigh once a month... (I HIGHLY recommend it, btw.) Anyway, when it would get down to a couple of days before my "weigh day" the sadness would start, and this never happened until I they found my "sweet spot." So, here's the deal; when I walk around and feel "full," I automatically think that I've been binging. Then I think about how I've gone back to my old ways, and I can't believe I did that, and God only knows how much weight I'll gain when I go to the doctor's office. See, I'm not used to feeling full without overeating, and that's what was bringing me down. I've had to keep a food journal, so that I can look back and prove to myself that I haven't overeaten. Then, when I think, "Crap! I've messed this up," I can look back and go, "Oh, okay; I've only eat 1200 calories a day, so I'm good." Fast forward to today, and even though I know better, I have been stressing like crazy about weighing. I get on the scale, and of course I know what I need to weigh. I shoot for 2 lbs a week, so I know I need to weigh 225. The readout on the scale was 223! And I think, "How can that be? How can that possibly be? I'm not starving. I'm not constantly obsessing about food. I'm not angry or cranky, so how can it be that I've lost 48 pounds? So, I hop off the scale, grab the nurse and give her a big hug, then head out the door. As I get to my car I start to cry. I just can't believe how great my life is and how much everything has changed.

You're good, sweetie. It takes the soreness awhile to completely go away. The port varies from where it's actually placed, but xavier is correct, it's not directly under the incision. It sounds like initial swelling, that's all. In time this too shall pass. Keep drinking that protien and relax. All is well. By the way, I've posted a video on youtube about what to expect from being banded; you may want to check it out. It's listed as: That Crazy Fat Chick. Best of luck with your new life!

I went for my 6 month check up and I'm down 64 pounds! I can hardly believe that next month I'll FINALLY be in ONEDERLAND! I'm not sure what I'm going to do to celebrate...of course just being there is really enough! I haven't gotten around to posting any progress pix lately, but I'll do it this weekend. If anyone is interested, check out my video blog on "youtube;" That Crazy Fat Chick Episodes 1-3. Now, I gotta tell you, I pretty much say what's on my mind, so "watcher be warned," I guess.

Thank you so much. That is so nice to hear. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I hear you, sister! God, this can be one depressing as hell place can't it? I went through the same thing when I was first banded. All of the negativity on this site had me seriously worried, but here is what I've found to be my truth: Banding was the absoute BEST decision I ever made. My only regret is that it wasn't around twenty years ago. I honestly think I'd pay double for my band. It has changed my life in so many positive ways, and the weight loss is really secondary; it's the peace of mind that's the main thing. I was banded December 22, 2008, and I'm down almost 70 lbs. It's been a lot of work and a complete lifestyle overhaul. Sometimes, I think I'm the only person in the world that really knew exactly what they were getting into with being banded. I don't know if it's the doctors that are inept. I don't know if people aren't being properly educated as to what to expect and what not to expect when they're banded, or maybe people only hear what they want to hear...I don't know. I do know this, though; you have to be ready to do your part. The band is only a tool and the weight won't fall off, magically. There is no easy way; if there was I would have found it! I think that a lot of the bitching and moaning comes from people who don't do what they're supposed to. You'd be AMAZED at the people that post on this site that they're still drinking carbonated beverages, or they're 4 days post op and can eat an extra value meal from McDonald's and they just can't seem to figure out why their band isn't working...it MUST be the band's fault...yeah, that's it. So, you'll get nothing but rave reviews from me about the band. I'm thinking about renaming my kids after my band, that's how much I love it. You know, like those crazy Nascar fans that have kids named, "Petty" and "Dale", and "Nas." I could rename my daughter, "Lapbandeeah" and call her "Bandie"...yeah...I think I'll try that out today to see how it works! Best of luck!

I don't know...I felt very sad the day of my surgery, and I couldn't figure out why, but then it hit me; I had struggled with my weight my whole life. I had been fat pretty much my entire adult life. A fat girl was who I had always been, but I didn't want to be one anymore...but it's who I had always been. And what if this didn't work? What if I failed, like I always failed? What if I let my family and myself down? What if I spent all that money for nothing? Change is difficult and we want to hang on to the familiar...even if it hurts us...at least it's safe...at least it's "home." The change that you've made the decision to make is a huge one, but can be a great one! You're very brave, so don't worry. Relax and think about your new life, and what you're going to do to be successful. You can do this, and you won't believe what you're capable of. Just think of the second chance you've been given. Also, find something to take your mind off food. The first month is HELL because there's nothing in your band. Lots of LEAN liquid protein and find your Muse. Learn to knit, paint, play online Scrabble, send emails, sculpt, garden, read...anything, just find something you like more than eating. Any support groups in your area? Best of luck!

It sounds to me like you're hungry. Have you tried any lean liquid protein? That's how I survived the entire first month post surgery.