wendytip

That is EXACTLY what I was doing!

So…today…I can hardly wait to get to my doctor’s office. I want to see how much I’ve lost almost as much almost as much as I want that first fill. But, alas, I have the WRONG DAY. AGGGGGH! I can’t believe it! Lack of food is affecting my brain; either that or I’m just not that smart. And, they wouldn’t even let me WEIGH. I though I was gonna’ rush those scales. I’m still a big girl; what could they have done? Then…I go to the “Y” to work out, and I’m busting out 2.2 miles on the treadmill. I hot and sweaty and athletic and stinky and feeling great. I go to the shower and clean up. I reach for my clothes, but alas, I forgot my JEANS! AGGGGGHHHH! Now, I KNOW I cannot be that stupid, but I guess I am. So…I re-put on my gross, disgusting sweat pants and go right next door to buy a pair of jeans. I head straight to the “Fat Girl” section. I flip through the jeans. I look for my size, and guess what? You will not believe this; there on the little tag which should read 18, 20, 22, 24 is a “2”. What the HELL? I pick up the jeans. Clearly, they are “Fat Girl” jeans. I put them back and pick up another pair, just as large…maybe larger. The tag reads a “2!” Another pair of jeans and the tag reads a “4”. This is CRAZY. I rummaging through the jeans like a mad woman. Hangers are flying, but it’s all the same. Fat Girl jeans and none of the tags read higher than a 6! Well I may be fat, but I’m not stupid…at least not that stupid. I see what we’re doing, and it is so unbelievably ridiculous. I mean, really? REALLY? If a big pair of jeans has a size 2 tag, are we really supposed to believe as we stare at the backside of these trousers, which are by the way, at least 3 feet wide, that they are a SIZE 2? Are we supposed to feel better? If that’s the case then why bother to diet and exercise or have the lap band at all? Why not just change the tags out in the back of our clothes? It reminds me of going into a Lane Bryant store…which I don’t do anymore, for this very reason. All of the mannequins that are dressed in the Fat Girl clothes have the clothes pinned up in the back. It’s like they’re saying, “Look, loooooook…buy these size 20’s and this is what you’ll look like in them.” Yeah…right? So, let me get this straight, Lane Bryant; I’m good enough that you’ll take my money, but you don’t want my “true” body type portrayed. Anyway; I feel much better now. Nothing like a good “rant” to cleanse the soul.

Julie Anne, EXACTLY! Isn't it infuriating? I stopped shopping at Lane Bryant years ago, after I wrote them to complain about those "pinned up" manniquins, and they told me that research had shown that women of "size" preferred that ridiculous look. That's like saying to us that we're not beautiful just the way we are! I am of the firm belief that just because you're fat doesn't mean you're not beautiful, and just because you're skinny doesn't mean that you are! I've always felt beautiful...fat yes, but hot, sexy, and gorgous...that too! And that measuring your ass everytime you come in? That is INSANE! You know a man...a skinny man had to come up up with that craziness! I mean, I ask for the "soundproof dressing room" when I go to buy a swimsuit, I sure as hell don't want someone measuring my ass every time I go to buy a pair of jean. I can just see it; "Let's see if your ass is as huge as we remember...Why, yes it is! Still huge!" No, no thanks. I'll pass!

Gotta keep that sense of humor boys and girls or we'll all go completely and utterly mad...mad I tell you, MAAAaaaaaad! (apply manical laugh as needed.)

I went for my first fill today, and bounded onto the scales. I was ready! I took my shoes off and Tiffany (my favorite nurse, EVER,) said, "Socks too." I was like, "Honey, if I could get by with it, I'd be on the scales, BUCK NAKED! So, I was hoping for a 15 pound loss, but got 16! Elation! Bliss! Joy! I go in for my first fill and made the grave mistake of looking where my Dr. stuck the needle in. It didn't hurt, but I have a serious aversion to "looking" at needles or blood. So, I look away; quickly, and just when I think I won't puke and/or pass out, my Dr. says, "I need you to sit up and come over here to the x-ray machine. OMG, I can kind of see the needle poking out of my port. I look away; quickly...but not quickly enough. I'm standing there drinking that stuff, and just when I'm hoping that I won't puke and/or pass out, there's the needle, on the x-ray screen! I'm hanging in there, and looking at the ceiling, and finally I say, "Is it okay if I sit down?" My Doctor tells me that I can sit because we're through, and just when I think that maybe I won't puke and/or pass out, he comes over and just pops that needle out! Jeez! But, after some apple juice I was good to go. Nothing could get me down after that; not even learning that I have to be on liquids until tomorrow and I don't get to have any spaghetti tonight. Oh well, no worries. I'm just glad to be on this journey!

Lap Band Survival (Sung to the tune of "I Will Survive") At first I was afraid. I was petrified. But then I got so sick and tired of my fat butt and thighs. And I spent oh so many nights with dreams of skinny size 9 jeans, and I decided to do something really special just for me. And so I’m banded. I’m on week one. I live on chicken broth and jello, but I know this can be done. I’m gonna tuck in all my shirts. I’m gonna buy myself a thong. thought my bikini days were over, but I’m thinking I was wrong! And now I’ll go, to walk a mile or two. I might even break into a run, ‘cause there’s nothing I can’t do. I’ll have no more bread or pop, but I’ll have all those sales to shop, and I’ll survive. I will survive. Hey. Hey

Try drinking that Special K protien mix. It works really well. You just mix it in w/your water. 30 calories and 3-5 grams of protien, so it can really add up. Congrats and best of luck, W

I wish I could help, but I haven't had my first fill yet. Have you told your doctor this? I don't understand why you would be able to eat anything you want and not feel any restriction after a few days. Is it possible you could have a leak? I have no idea; I'm just asking. I think you definately need to tell your doctor your concerns. Good luck, W

Way to go on those lost 7 pounds!

Thanks. Glad I could make you smile!

So…today…I can hardly wait to get to my doctor’s office. I want to see how much I’ve lost almost as much almost as much as I want that first fill. But, alas, I have the WRONG DAY. AGGGGGH! I can’t believe it! Lack of food is affecting my brain; either that or I’m just not that smart. And, they wouldn’t even let me WEIGH. I though I was gonna’ rush those scales. I’m still a big girl; what could they have done? Then…I go to the “Y” to work out, and I’m busting out 2.2 miles on the treadmill. I hot and sweaty and athletic and stinky and feeling great. I go to the shower and clean up. I reach for my clothes, but alas, I forgot my JEANS! AGGGGGHHHH! Now, I KNOW I cannot be that stupid, but I guess I am. So…I re-put on my gross, disgusting sweat pants and go right next door to buy a pair of jeans. I head straight to the “Fat Girl” section. I flip through the jeans. I look for my size, and guess what? You will not believe this; there on the little tag which should read 18, 20, 22, 24 is a “2”. What the HELL? I pick up the jeans. Clearly, they are “Fat Girl” jeans. I put them back and pick up another pair, just as large…maybe larger. The tag reads a “2!” Another pair of jeans and the tag reads a “4”. This is CRAZY. I rummaging through the jeans like a mad woman. Hangers are flying, but it’s all the same. Fat Girl jeans and none of the tags read higher than a 6! Well I may be fat, but I’m not stupid…at least not that stupid. I see what we’re doing, and it is so unbelievably ridiculous. I mean, really? REALLY? If a big pair of jeans has a size 2 tag, are we really supposed to believe as we stare at the backside of these trousers, which are by the way, at least 3 feet wide, that they are a SIZE 2? Are we supposed to feel better? If that’s the case then why bother to diet and exercise or have the lap band at all? Why not just change the tags out in the back of our clothes? It reminds me of going into a Lane Bryant store…which I don’t do anymore, for this very reason. All of the mannequins that are dressed in the Fat Girl clothes have the clothes pinned up in the back. It’s like they’re saying, “Look, loooooook…buy these size 20’s and this is what you’ll look like in them.” Yeah…right? So, let me get this straight, Lane Bryant; I’m good enough that you’ll take my money, but you don’t want my “true” body type portrayed. Anyway; I feel much better now. Nothing like a good “rant” to cleanse the soul.

Well, I thought about not telling anyone for those very reasons plus a few more. And then when I told my mom that I was only going to tell people that I'd made a lifestyle change when they asked about the lost weight, my mom said, "Okay, STAR JONES." So, I told her that I just didn't want people to say that I took the easy way out, etc. Then my mother politely pointed out to me that I don't care what people think...and I really don't. Now, I'm very up front and to hell with whatever they say or think. The thing is, they're going to wonder and for me, I felt like the more I did not disclose, the more attention it would draw to it. Then when they do find out...and they will find out...they'll REALLY have a bunch of crap to say. Besides, there is no way you can please everyone, and you shouldn't try. As long as you're not hurting anyone, then please yourself and do what you want. But you know, that's just my line of thinking. Changing gear; what a great Valentine's Day gift to yourself! Best wishes and I'll get Mr. DeMille, to tell him that you're ready! W

I get my first fill tomorrow, and I'm so excited! I can't wait to get on those scales! I'm hoping to be 15 pounds down, but that may be a bit too ambitious since I'm not quite a month out. Whatever, though. I don't care. I've been very diligent, so I know I'll have a great loss. The weight will come off as it's supposed to come off; no biggie. I'm just sooooo enjoying this! I love seeing how much looser my clothes are every week, but more than anything I LOVE the fact that I'm not thinking about what to eat every single moment of every day!

Someday...soon, when I don't have to shop in the "fat girls" section, I will throw a big party. The invites will read, "Your invited to my I don't have to shop in the fat girls' section anymore." Guests don't have to bring a gift, but they do have to "gush" about how much weight I've lost, before I'll let them in. At the party I will wear my clothing inside out and backwards, so that everyone can easily see that I'm not a 1,2 or 3x anymore. Then we will all gather round' and my guests will sing, "For she's not shopping in the fat girls' section. For she's not shopping in the fat girls' section. For she's not shopping in the fat girls' section; this nobody can deny." Hell, I may even make them sing that a few times; who knows?

When they tell you that, just say, "Thank you. I'll take that under advisement."

I get my first fill tomorrow, and I'm so excited! I can't wait to get on those scales! I'm hoping to be 15 pounds down, but that may be a bit too ambitious since I'm not quite a month out. Whatever, though. I don't care. I've been very diligent, so I know I'll have a great loss. The weight will come off as it's supposed to come off; no biggie. I'm just sooooo enjoying this! I love seeing how much looser my clothes are every week, but more than anything I LOVE the fact that I'm not thinking about what to eat every single moment of every day!

I'm digging your name! You're beautiful already. I don't think with your attitude that you need much "luck." I thinking you're going to do great! Best wishes to you, and you're going to love being banded!

Yes, yes, livinhealthy, but there will come a time when you won't be able to avoid the unaviodable, and then; WATCH OUT! You won't believe the crap you'll hear...and most of it coming either from fat people, or people who look like they don't have a clue. I just love it when some naturally thin body type (usually a man,) starts telling me what does and does not work. I think one day I'll just adopt the attitude of my students when one of their peers says something they don't want to hear. That would be me saying something like, "Shut up, bro. Nobody's asking you anyway." Yeah, I like that...

This is to sang to the tune of "And I am telling you." Now, make sure you sing it with all the rightous indignation and happiness that you can muster! And I am telling you, I’m not as fat. Not as big as I was before, Not gonna’ be that way anymore. No, no, no way! No, no, no, no way! Not the big girl that I once was. Not as big as I once was. Oh yes, I’m gonna’ be free. I’m losing. I’m losing. And you, and you, and you might not recognize me. And I am telling you, I’m not as chubby. Even though my big butt was bubbly. There’s just no way, no way. Got tired of being so large. But now, I have taken charge. Yes, I got banded no doubt. Don’t you say it’s the easy way out? ‘Cause, I can’t have carbonated drinks ever, ever again! No, no, no, no, no, no. My ass will no longer be, the size of a gigantic R.V! And I mean there’s no way. No, no, no, no way I’m buying that plus size. Not buying size 22. You see there’s no way. There’s no way. Burn those fat clothes. Yell, scream and shout, Hey look at me! I’m a skinny girl now! Put on my running shoes, break out the treadmill I’m not going to quit. No, there’s no way I will. And I am telling you. I’m wearing a thong. I’m gonna by a bikini too! Who knows I might even buy two! No, no, no, no way. No, no, no, no way I’m living this fat life. I’m not shopping at Lane Bryant. Yes, I’m gonna be free. And you, and you, and you, you won’t recognize me.

This is to sang to the tune of "And I am telling you." Now, make sure you sing it with all the rightous indignation and happiness that you can muster! And I am telling you, I’m not as fat. Not as big as I was before, Not gonna’ be that way anymore. No, no, no way! No, no, no, no way! Not the big girl that I once was. Not as big as I once was. Oh yes, I’m gonna’ be free. I’m losing. I’m losing. And you, and you, and you might not recognize me. And I am telling you, I’m not as chubby. Even though my big butt was bubbly. There’s just no way, no way. Got tired of being so large. But now, I have taken charge. Yes, I got banded no doubt. Don’t you say it’s the easy way out? ‘Cause, I can’t have carbonated drinks ever, ever again! No, no, no, no, no, no. My ass will no longer be, the size of a gigantic R.V! And I mean there’s no way. No, no, no, no way I’m buying that plus size. Not buying size 22. You see there’s no way. There’s no way. Burn those fat clothes. Yell, scream and shout, Hey look at me! I’m a skinny girl now! Put on my running shoes, break out the treadmill I’m not going to quit. No, there’s no way I will. And I am telling you. I’m wearing a thong. I’m gonna by a bikini too! Who knows I might even buy two! No, no, no, no way. No, no, no, no way I’m living this fat life. I’m not shopping at Lane Bryant. Yes, I’m gonna be free. And you, and you, and you, you won’t recognize me.

Congrats, and good for you! Try not to be afraid. I know, I was sooooo nervous and there was absolutely NO reason to be. Here's what happened w/my procedure, and yours will probably be more or less the same. They take you back and have you put on one of those hospital gowns that your butt wants to poke through the back of...only they'll probably give you an extra big one or two...one to be used as a robe, so your butt won't poke out the back. They'll put those tight sock thingys on your legs to keep blood clots from forming. They take your vitals. They'll put your I.V in...and if they don't offer it, you can probably ask them to give you a little stick of Lidocaine, if the I.V freaks you out, and when they do put your I.V in, you won't even feel it. The anastegeologist, will come in and say hello, they'll put your hair under a paper cap, and you're off to begin your new life! The procedure for me, along with the incisions wasn't painful at all, but GAS from the procedure was horrible! Walking...for whatever the reason really helps, and my gas was gone 4 days post-op. I was home 3 hours after my procedure, and 4 days post op I was shopping at the Mall of Georgia! Most doctors won't put anything in your band after surgery because they want you to heal for the next month. 1 week of "clear liquids"...juices, popsicles, broth. 1 week of "liquids" ...same of previous week only you get to add creamy Soups, cottage cheese. 1 week of "mushy" foods, and then "real" food. During this time, the trick is staying "satisfied" and not being hungry. You may experience "some" restriction, due to swelling, but after that swelling goes down, there's nothing in your band, nothing to keep you from getting hungry, and really...nothing to keep you from eating whatever you want. I have continued to loose weight during this time (I'm yet to get my first "fill". I get it this Monday!) I took in LOTS of lean, liquid protien. You can get it at health food stores. If you take in enough protien, it's impossible for you to get "physiologically" hungry. That doesn't mean you don't have to deal with "head hunger," but taking regular protien during the day really helps. Also, the Special K protien Water is great! The iced tea flavor can be prepared cold, but it's really good heated up in the microwave. I tried to find something that I enjoyed more than eating to preoccupy me. For me, it's "art," but everyone has something. So, keep in mind that the above is only "my" personal experience with the band, and things may be different for you, somewhat. Just remember that the band is a "tool" and ONLY a "tool." You have to make major lifestyle changes, but the band definately makes it "do-able." I will tell you that I paid for my band out of pocket and I'd do it again in a second! I feel so blessed to have had this second chance. Don't let anyone bring you down. You're on your way to a new wonderful life and you can do it.

HA! That is SO funny! I don't know what the connection is, but it's good for a laugh, so who cares?

I never knew how many people are experts on how to loose weight and keep it off until I got banded. Now, they are coming out of the woodwork. I’m quiet. I’m calm. I don’t say anything, as they go on and on and ON! I decided early on to be open about being “banded.” Hell, I don’t care what people say or think, and if I can motivate just one person to do whatever works for them to lose the weight, then it’s worth it to me. However, when people find out that I’m banded; that’s when it alllll starts. “The best way to loose weight and keep it off is by eating 6 small meals a day.” “I just cut out all the sodas and that’s how I lost 30lbs.” “Yes, but if you don’t work out 5 times a week for at least 45 minutes, at your target heart range, you won’t keep the weight off.” “I don’t eat anything past 7:00 in the evening.” “I drink only the strained juice from boiled cabbage, and eat only egg white omelets.” “The best way to loose weight and keep it off is by eating 6 small meals a day.” “I do the Atkins diet. I know it’s not healthy, but that’s the best way to loose weight.” “You better be working out at least 3 days a week for 2 hours in the pool, with weights attached to your arms, legs and neck, or you won’t keep the weight off.” “The best way to loose weight is by “praying” it off, and if you pray the weight off you don’t have to exercise because God doesn’t like it when we sweat” “You have to work out EVERY SINGLE day, except Sunday, if you want to keep the weight off…and I think that’s in the Bible somewhere.” “I do the all carb diet.” “I lost 50lbs through hypnosis.” “If you don’t eat breakfast your metabolism stagnates and you’ll actually GAIN weight.” “You better be working out.” “The band causes your body to go into starvation mode and you actually GAIN weight…you need to have that taken out.” “If you don’t exercise, then your body starts burning muscle and you might loose weight, but you won’t keep it off…plus your body will look all gross.” But I don’t say anything. I just smile and think “idiots.” But, what I “want” to say…what I want to say is, “Well, I tell you what; none of this is your business. You obviously don’t have a clue as to what you’re talking about, so you can take your choice: you can either kiss my fat a** now, or you can wait, and kiss my skinny a** in a few months!