adagray

Thanks so much for all of your advice. Its really very helpful to me. Its not a problem for me to steer our conversations in a different direction. We both have kids the same age. Most of the time when I see her it is at the park w/the kids. So, from now on when the topic of dieting/exercise comes up, I will just try to change topics quickly to something else... the kids, mom stuff, school, etc. Honestly, I don't really need someone else to talk to about my lapband stuff. All of my other friends know and ask me about it all the time. So, I will discuss my lapband stuff w/those other friends and just try to stay on other topics w/her. And, I will also make sure to keep my boundaries. She's just a casual friend right now and I think its best that I keep it that way. I don't blame myself for being a trigger, but I do believe the very fact that I am on this journey makes me one. I also realize she probably has many more triggers than me and it is probably a culmination of things that is driving her back in this direction. But, I don't want to be part of the problem so I will be cautious about that.

This is kind of a weird situation and I don't know how to deal with it. I have a newish friend (met her a few months ago about a month before my surgery). She confided in me that she used to be anorexic and it was quite serious. She is very thin as it is right now, but not so thin that I would worry that her health is in danger right now. She is probably a size 2 I would guess. Well, a couple weeks ago, she started complaining about how she had gained weight and now she's started a 1000 calorie per day diet (at least this is what she told me) and she's been running 2.5 miles every night. She tracks everything she eats on her IPhone now. She told me her husband is mad because she shouldn't be doing this (based on her history w/anorexia). When she said she had gained weight, I joked w/her that it must only be 3 pounds if she gained any, but that seemed to irritate her. I feel like she is treading on dangerous territory. And, I also worry that my recent weightloss may have triggered her anorexia. Not that I am anywhere close to her weight (she's about 40 pounds below my goal weight). But, maybe my constant talking about food, exercise, and losing weight may have caused her to head back in this direction. I feel like such an insensitive heel now... like maybe I should not have been talking about these things w/her. Ack! Anyway, what (if anything) would you do if you were in this situation? Its very awkward for me because we haven't known each other that long and we aren't even that close either. I feel like maybe it might be best for me just not to hang out w/her has much (since I might be triggering this behavior). What do you think??? P.S. - Oh, I should add that she's the only person I know who said to me 'you're not gonna get too skinny after this surgery, are you?' and that just struck me as so odd because she must weigh more than 100 pounds less than me right now.

Just want to share the great deal I found on Protein Shots online. Previously, I had bought a bunch at costco before my surgery (12 for $18 I think). Each protein shot is only 4oz and has 25g of protein. They come in orange and fruit punch flavor (kind of tastes like unset jello). Anyway, I was about to run out so was gonna pick up more at Costco yesterday and they didn't have them anymore. Ugh! And, they are super expensive if you just buy them one at a time from Target or other stores. So, I searched online and found that you can buy them directly from the maker now and they are having a buy one 12-pack, get one 12-pack free right now. The price is higher ($25), but since you are getting two for that price, its like getting each 12-pack for $12.50 (about $1 per shot which is awesome). And, shipping is free for US orders. Here is the website: http://bodychoicenutrition.net/index.htm

Congrats to you! I LOVE your new pic and makeup!!! Yes, we seem to be living parallel banded lives. LOL I am so loving my band right now too. I hope we both get just the right amount on this 3rd fill. :->

w/the band! Since cutting out alcohol and other empty calories AND exercising every day, I have now lost two pounds in the last four days. Yes, this band really does work when you work with it! :smile: I almost don't feel like I really NEED my 3rd fill that I have scheduled for Monday (I scheduled it when my weightloss had stalled), but I know I could still use at least a small fill. I'm not at my sweet spot, but I can tell that I am not that far away from it either. :thumbup: For example, I can eat a fairly large portion right now, but I can also be satisfied on a smaller portion. And, I do think about food between meals, but I can usually get by w/just water until my next meal. Last night I was so sure my dinner was not gonna last me until bedtime. I ate at 5:30pm and was feeling the munchies around 8:00pm. I was gonna have an artichoke (healthy at least), but got distracted and tired watching TV and just ended up going to bed. Woohoo!!! :thumbup: So, even though my restriction is not perfect w/the band yet, its definitely better than during my TOM when I was really hungry and felt like a bottomless pit. :smile: Now, instead of worrying about not getting enough fill at my next appointment, I'm a little worried about getting overfilled. But, I'm just a worry wart in general. My ideal would be if I can get to the point where I can still eat almost everything (if I chew it enough), be satisfied w/a small meal, and not think about food between meals. I have not PB'd or thrown up at all yet and hope that when/if I do, it will not become a regular thing. I did get stuck on a roll once (in my first month post-op) and was in pain for 5 minutes, but I don't know how to make myself puke (or I have an aversion to it) so I just waited it out. Now I have an aversion to rolls! But, that's a good thing. :thumbup:

Great great letter. I totally understand where you are coming from. I don't think any of my friends really understood the deep fear within me regarding my obesity and health conditions compounded by the helplessness of seeing how my mom was impacted through her life by the same health conditions. In my mom's case, it all turned out for the best because she got lapband 2 yrs before me and has enjoyed great success at improving her health w/it as well as the weightloss. But, before she had success w/it and I finally put two and two together that I could maybe do the same, I was really really scared. Even though you don't owe her this explanation, I think its great that you are communicating all of this to her. I've told all of my friends about my surgery and it has been a real eye-opener for a lot of them to realize the fear I was living w/day-to-day before this. Everyone has been so compassionate and supportive and I think the reason is because I've been so open about my struggle and my feelings. There is such a big difference between someone who has to lose 20 pounds and someone who is morbidly obese and fears for their health and life. It might help your friend to know that for people whose bodies are capable of becomming obese, lifestyle change alone (diet and exercise) will only work for 5%.

Woohoo!!! We are here to celebrate w/you. I totally understand how you feel having just got down 30 pounds myself. Size 18 and an XL in the regular department would have me walking on air for the rest of the week. I have found that there is no bigger high than shrinking out of my clothes AND enjoying this all without having to starve myself either. Congratulations!!!

w/the band! Since cutting out alcohol and other empty calories AND exercising every day, I have now lost two pounds in the last four days. Yes, this band really does work when you work with it! :tongue_smilie: I almost don't feel like I really NEED my 3rd fill that I have scheduled for Monday (I scheduled it when my weightloss had stalled), but I know I could still use at least a small fill. I'm not at my sweet spot, but I can tell that I am not that far away from it either. :thumbup: For example, I can eat a fairly large portion right now, but I can also be satisfied on a smaller portion. And, I do think about food between meals, but I can usually get by w/just water until my next meal. Last night I was so sure my dinner was not gonna last me until bedtime. I ate at 5:30pm and was feeling the munchies around 8:00pm. I was gonna have an artichoke (healthy at least), but got distracted and tired watching TV and just ended up going to bed. Woohoo!!! :thumbup: So, even though my restriction is not perfect w/the band yet, its definitely better than during my TOM when I was really hungry and felt like a bottomless pit. :smile: Now, instead of worrying about not getting enough fill at my next appointment, I'm a little worried about getting overfilled. But, I'm just a worry wart in general. My ideal would be if I can get to the point where I can still eat almost everything (if I chew it enough), be satisfied w/a small meal, and not think about food between meals. I have not PB'd or thrown up at all yet and hope that when/if I do, it will not become a regular thing. I did get stuck on a roll once (in my first month post-op) and was in pain for 5 minutes, but I don't know how to make myself puke (or I have an aversion to it) so I just waited it out. Now I have an aversion to rolls! But, that's a good thing. :thumbup:

Hey all you Positive Pollys, great idea for a thread! I recognize a lot of you from other posts. I had a 10 day stall on the scale recently that spurred me on to get more serious about cutting out empty calories and stepping up my exercise. I have now lost two pounds in the last four days since putting more effort in. I go in for my 3rd fill on Monday. I'm excited and nervous. I think I may be close to my sweet spot. I thought I had it after my second fill because I suddenly could only eat half of what I used to, had to chew, chew, chew, and wasn't thinking about food between meals. But, that restriction quickly faded, could eat big amounts for awhile and hungry a lot, then now I am kind of in between. Hoping this 3rd fill might give me just a little bit more so I can get back to how I felt after the 2nd fill long-term. That was great!

The surprise must-have for me was a heating pad. When the shoulder pain would come on strong, I'd roll it up and shove it in the crook of my neck for instant relief. Even though I was taking the max dose of the Rx pain meds, I would still get sudden sharp pains in my left shoulder and the heating pad was the only thing that would calm it down.

The ones I gave the link for (the ones I use) are different than what you are describing. They are made by 'Body Choice' and have 25g of protein for 100 calories. I agree that I would not want to spend 200 calories on this. The protein is described as a 'smooth blend of hydrolyzed whey, casein and collagenic protein isolates'. It says it is 'easily digested'. I'm assuming that all just means it is absorbed easily into the body? I think the only people who drink these things are body builders and WLS patients. LOL Oh, I should add that I have no idea about how they would be mixed w/jello. I think it would work, but I've never tried it myself. I don't like Jello ever since the three days post-op when all I was allowed to have was sf jello, broth, herbal tea, and Water.

I could tell by the title of your post that you were either not banded yet or very newly banded. I don't mean that in a demeaning way, but just that I have a feeling once you get the band working for you and have lost a good amount of weight with it, you will no longer even want it loosened for this cruise. You will feel so good about your success that you won't want anything to jeopardize it. Right now you are still at the stage where you are dealing w/the changes that come w/the band and mourning the loss of the way you used to eat. But, that will quickly be replaced by the high you get from seeing the scale go down, feeling more energetic, and fitting into smaller clothes. You will also realize that you can enjoy food just as much, but in smaller quantities. So, I say don't worry about that cruise for now. BTW, this questioned has been asked before many times so don't feel like you're the only one who has wondered about this. There was a guy on here awhile back that was dead set on having his band loosened before a trip he was making to Europe. By the time it was time to go on that trip, guess what? He no longer wanted his band loosened because he was so happy w/his weightloss and wanted to maintain it. :->

The past 10 days have been kinda rough for me. I stopped losing and had a bunch of water weight come on w/TOM. The truth is I wasn't sure if it was JUST water weight because I haven't been perfect. Still having issues of slacking off on exercise and letting empty calories creep back in. And, yes, I do not have great restriction right now. I already have my 3rd fill scheduled for Monday. But, if I want to keep losing (regardless of where I am w/fills), I need to dig deep and do what I can to facilitate the weightloss. With the very limited experience I have w/the band so far, I would say that the band is giving me 1 pound of weightloss per week if I just minimally work it. But, if I want 2+ pounds per week, I need to minimize those pesky empty calories and maximize my exercise. So, then comes the challenge of what goals to make for myself for changing my behavior. My favorite empty calories come in the form of wine and martinis! :smile: I've been good about cutting way back, but its so easy to let one night/week turn into two nights if a friend calls and invites me out. And, when I've made goals for exercise like three times per week, its easy to not exercise on Monday cause you have the rest of the week to get those three times in. And, then its Thursday and you haven't exercised yet, but you never really decided when the week STARTS so do you just start over or exercise three days straight? Well, I finally had an epiphany of sorts. I really really want to lose 10 pounds per month. This is the pace that gets me excited because I can picture what weight I will be in March, April, etc... onto July for my birthday, and August when we go to Hawaii. I just think it would be a perfect amount to lose per month and a challenge, but not unattainable if I put the work in. So, I've made a new goal for myself and that is that I simply do not drink any alcohol until I've lost my 10 pounds for the month and I exercise EVERY day so there is no debate over whether this is an exercise day or not. I need to stop the mind games! So total abstinence and total adherence until I meet my goal for the month is the best I think. And, once I reach goal, I can use the same technique, but make it that I do not drink or skip a day of exercise unless I am at or below my goal weight on that day. Do you think this will finally keep me in line??? :smile: Well, so far I haven't had any drinks since my friend's birthday party last Friday and I've exercised every day since Monday. And, yesterday I got so busy during the day that I realized at 9:30pm that I had not exercised yet. And, guess what I did??? Yes, I actually hopped on the treadmill and walked for 30 minutes while watching TV instead of just laying on the couch. Oh yeah, I am proud of myself! I am gonna stick to this!!! :thumbup:

Woohoo!!! So happy for you!!!!!!

Your post could not have come at a better time for me. I got banded right around the same time as you and am going for my 3rd Fill on Monday. I have 4.5cc in a lapband aps (10cc) band right now. You give me hope and a little fear that this next fill may be the one that does the trick. I say 'fear' just because its also a little scary that I might not be able to eat some certain foods after this fill and might need to be a lot more careful w/my chewing and pace of eating. BTW, how much total fill do you have right now? Just curious because I've seen quite a few who seem to get to their sweet spot around 5.5ish w/the 10cc band.

I actually don't have trouble getting my Protein in, but I use them for the following situations: * before exercising in the morning instead of having Breakfast (I don't like the feeling of food in my stomach right before I exercise, but my doc says I need to eat within 2 hours of waking up) * if I want a high carb meal (like cereal), I will have a protein shot w/it so that it will keep me full longer (normally, high carb/low protein meals don't keep me full very long) * keep one in my purse so if I am hungry and don't have any band friendly options available, I can drink one of these and it will keep my stomach from growling for another hour or two until I can get some real food * for after a fill when I am only allowed Clear liquids (my doc wants me on clear liquids for 72 hours after a fill and there's no way I could do that w/no protein - she considers the protein bullets clear liquid so I can have these, though) For those that don't like the taste or consistency, I guess I should've been more clear that I use these strictly for nutritional purposes. I don't LOVE the taste either, but I don't hate the taste either. Its very artificial tasting (like unset jello), but it is only 3 oz so even if you don't love the taste, its not much you have to drink and gives you a big bang for your buck. I don't think you can get 25g of protein down faster in any other form. You could mix it w/water or other liquid, but I think they taste fine on their own. I should add that I like them at room temperature better than refrigerated. The first time I tried one, I refrigerated it first and I think it just made it taste stronger and thicker.

Try not to compare yourself to others. 18 pounds in 6 weeks is awesome! Also, realize that some people are on a pre-op diet for much much longer than one week so their overall weightloss will be much higher even if you had surgery around the same time. There are some people who got banded around the same time as I did who lost 40+ pounds pre-op! Of course, there are some that are just gonna lose faster than you no matter what because different people's bodies respond to dieting/exercise differently. Your body is the only one you have so you gotta work with it and not worry about how it compares to others. For me, I will be ecstatic if I can lose 10 pounds per month. Just think if you can lose 10 pounds per month, you will be at your goal by sometime in August! Now that doesn't seem too slow does it? :->

Totally normal for the band. I think that the hardest thing about the band during the beginning is the emotional rollercoaster of losing weight fast for a little while, then slow, then regain, then fast loss again, then whatever. The rate of loss seems to fluctuate A LOT as we are in the stage of not quite having proper restriction yet. For me, I try not to focus on what I lost today, yesterday, or last week because at any point in time, that may be depressing. For example, I just went 10 days where my weight went up 4 pounds and then came back down 5 (happened to be my time of the month so maybe Water retention). As positive as I try to be about this whole process, I can't say that this didn't mess w/mind a little. But, I really really try to focus on my overall average loss since surgery instead of today's, yesterday's, or last week's. And, I also try to focus on the things I can control (such as how much I exercise and eliminating empty calories). There's nothing I can do about getting to restriction faster except to make the appointments for fills, but everything else I can work on in the meantime. Oh, I also don't change my weight on my ticker when my weight goes up. The way I see it, when I lose to a certain number, I claim it. If I see a higher number later, I consider that a fluctuation that will come down again. Maybe this is just a mental game I'm playing w/myself, but I think it would drive me more crazy if I changed my ticker every time I go up and then back down.

Hang in there! Insurance is the most nerve-wracking part of this whole process. As for working out after, I was told I couldn't do anything but walk or stationary bike for the first month after surgery. When I went for my first fill (which ended up being postponed until 6 weeks), the dietition said I should wait until 8 weeks to start back doing Jazzercise (which includes aerobics, weights, and core work), but my surgeon's assistant said I could go ahead and start it again as long as I was careful to stop anything if it started hurting. So, I've been starting to get back into the groove of it. Yes, its a bummer to give up exercise you are actually enjoying for awhile after surgery, but its totally worth it. Good luck w/the insurance. It took me two appeals, but I was finally granted coverage.

I forgot to add that I did finally see the scale go down one more pound, after a few days of really working the band. Woohoo!!!

The past 10 days have been kinda rough for me. I stopped losing and had a bunch of water weight come on w/TOM. The truth is I wasn't sure if it was JUST water weight because I haven't been perfect. Still having issues of slacking off on exercise and letting empty calories creep back in. And, yes, I do not have great restriction right now. I already have my 3rd fill scheduled for Monday. But, if I want to keep losing (regardless of where I am w/fills), I need to dig deep and do what I can to facilitate the weightloss. With the very limited experience I have w/the band so far, I would say that the band is giving me 1 pound of weightloss per week if I just minimally work it. But, if I want 2+ pounds per week, I need to minimize those pesky empty calories and maximize my exercise. So, then comes the challenge of what goals to make for myself for changing my behavior. My favorite empty calories come in the form of wine and martinis! :tongue_smilie: I've been good about cutting way back, but its so easy to let one night/week turn into two nights if a friend calls and invites me out. And, when I've made goals for exercise like three times per week, its easy to not exercise on Monday cause you have the rest of the week to get those three times in. And, then its Thursday and you haven't exercised yet, but you never really decided when the week STARTS so do you just start over or exercise three days straight? Well, I finally had an epiphany of sorts. I really really want to lose 10 pounds per month. This is the pace that gets me excited because I can picture what weight I will be in March, April, etc... onto July for my birthday, and August when we go to Hawaii. I just think it would be a perfect amount to lose per month and a challenge, but not unattainable if I put the work in. So, I've made a new goal for myself and that is that I simply do not drink any alcohol until I've lost my 10 pounds for the month and I exercise EVERY day so there is no debate over whether this is an exercise day or not. I need to stop the mind games! So total abstinence and total adherence until I meet my goal for the month is the best I think. And, once I reach goal, I can use the same technique, but make it that I do not drink or skip a day of exercise unless I am at or below my goal weight on that day. Do you think this will finally keep me in line??? :smile: Well, so far I haven't had any drinks since my friend's birthday party last Friday and I've exercised every day since Monday. And, yesterday I got so busy during the day that I realized at 9:30pm that I had not exercised yet. And, guess what I did??? Yes, I actually hopped on the treadmill and walked for 30 minutes while watching TV instead of just laying on the couch. Oh yeah, I am proud of myself! I am gonna stick to this!!! :thumbup:

Update... my TOM is gone and thankfully he did take all his water weight with him and I am finally down a pound from my lowest weight before TOM. Whew! I was afraid some of the weight was 'real' because I haven't been perfect either. TOM brought me chocolates this time. LOL

This subject of whether or not your family should change to support you seems to be a topic of hot debate often. And, of course, even after 5 pages of replies, you still NEED my inputl. LOL My feeling is that it is in my family's best interest to support me in the ways that I really need. If I fail at losing this weight that is causing me comorbid diseases and will eventually kill me, then my whole family fails. My husband and kiddos want me around and to be healthy. I do nobody any favors by NOT telling them what I need to succeed at losing the weight. I say this from the perspective of someone who has a mother who has struggled w/morbid obesity her entire life. Trust me, your kids and your husband LOVE you and WANT you to get healthy. YOU are probably one of their greatest concerns and let me say again, they LOVE you more than anything!!! They just may not 'get it' as to what you need unless you say so. I can't imagine any family who would not want to make some sacrifices for their loved one especially through the 'no eating' stages of this lapband journey. Come on, there are very few people who can stand this sort of torture. My husband is amazed and proud of me for all the times I have had to be on 'liquids only' through this journey. And, he has been more than supportive by keeping tempting foods away from me during these times.

I agree w/the responses you got. Solid Protein is gonna keep you satisfied the longest. If for some reason you can't get in a solid protein, I recommend getting some protein bullets (25g of protein in 3 oz liquid for 100 calories that tastes like unset jello). For times when I don't have time to eat or am gonna eat something high carb (like cereal), I have a protein shot with it so that it will last me longer. I also don't like to exercise on a full stomach so I have a protein shot instead of a real b-fast before working out, then eat solid protein after. I also recommend eliminating artificial sweeteners as much as possible. I know that's not something anyone wants to hear. I didn't like it when my dietician told me to do that. But, I gave it a shot and it really helped to get rid of my sugar cravings. Now, many Desserts actually taste 'too sweet' to me so I take one bite, but then end up giving the rest to my kids. Hard to believe because I really had a bad sweet tooth before.

I am sending TOM packing right now. He's the type that tends to linger around for a few days even after you've told him to leave, though. He better be gone and have taken all his water weight with him by Thursday, though, or else!