jaimefletcher77

I am really glad that I found this website. It has helped me so much to face the real issues with my potential surgery. I have been researching for 2 years and I am getting banded in October. I have to say that last night my reading sent me into a panic. Here are some things that I know I can live with even if it will be hard: 1. loose skin--how much worse is that that fat, stretched out skin? 2. my abusive relationship with food. it has been a long road but the things that I have to give up are not really good for me anyway. I have done a lot of planning for this part. I am as ready as I can be for this. 3. More wrinkles, I assume some are hiding under here;-). 4. The pain of surgery and recovery. Here are some things that I don't know if I can deal with: 1. hair loss- I have already lost so much hair from Metformin (anti-diabetic drug). I know this sounds vain but I just cannot go bald here! 2. The gas!!! I am extremely conservative about this issue. I cannot be walking around passing gas all the time for the rest of my life or even the next year. I just starting going back to school and I am horrified enough being the fat, old girl in class with a bunch of 20 year olds! I cannot be the fat, old girl who passes gas in class!!! I just cannot. 3. The obsession that seems to come with surgery. I don't want to weigh myself everyday and worry that I am able to eat and not losing enough weight. I just don't want this to define me. I realize it will from now until a while after surgery but I just don't want to obsess about it all the time. I know this can be different for everyone but I am seriously considering cancelling the surgery because why don't I just eat less and exercise to lose weight. Yeah, I know, I have been doing that for 10 years without success and I have 3 small children who need a healthy, active mommy that will be around as long as she can be. I am just FREAKING OUT!! CAN SOMEONE TALK ME OFF THE LEDGE??? I have a support system but not one that understands fully what I am going through. Thanks! Jaime

I am feeling much better since I wrote this but love, love, love the encouragement because I am sure another "ledge moment" is around the corner;-). Yes, I was on Metformin 2x/day during WW. Ugh. The Metformin makes me feel weird. I never had low blood sugar symptoms until I started taking it. I am so glad my GP said I can stop after the surgery. So we are all in agreement that loose skin is better than fat rolls! Yes, I believe so. I might have some fixer-upper surgery in the future but who knows. I can't stress over all the unknowns. Easy to say. Bottom line, I do want to feel healthy and I have felt horrible the last few days and it is all because of my weight. I always have to wear dark denim capris instead of shorts in the 105 degree weather and I sweat like a hog! I am so over this fat! Thanks so much to all of you and stay in touch and let me know how you all are doing. Didn't mean to "dog" anyone about the obsession part, I just don't want to be discouraged if I gain a lb on day and freak out. I know I will keep track of my progress as well. Oh, another thing I am interested in hearing from you...did you tell people? How far did you extend your "circle of trust"? hehe I do strongly believe that if you tell one person you might as well tell the whole world but I haven't decided on who to tell yet. Mainly people that will support me. Not my Mother;-). I also think I should tell a close friend that struggles with her weight like I do because I will feel guilty if I try to pretend that I all of sudden have super-human resistance to food. Oh, did you all eat bad before you Pre-op diet was to start? On one hand I feel that I should start practicing my good behavior but on the other I feel like I should indulge while I still can. Guess which hand is winning???? Take care! Jaime

NOOO!!! If it were that easy then I wouldn't be so miserable now and for the last 10 years. I have been thin before and remember it well. Sometimes I think that gets in the way because I either think that I am not as big as I am or because I just expect the weight to fall off of me. My last diet attempt, I did step class for 1 hr 2x/wk. Ran, yes actually ran, on the treadmill for 30 min 3x/wk and followed the WW plan to a T. I lost 1.5 lbs in 1 month. My body just loves this fat and wants to hold onto it!! Obviously, when you do all that and take off 1.5lbs, it makes you insane! I was crushed to say the least. But as soon as I stopped doing all that, I gained the 1.5lbs back and 4 more within a week. Ugh. So, nope, I know I cannot do this on my own anymore. The hairloss thing is kinda funny because I have super-thick hair and to the average person, you would think I was nuts to say that it is thinning but I know it is. I actually kinda like that it has thinned out from being so thick but I don't want it to keep going. Bald, gassy and thin was not the overall look I was going for, ya know? hehe Thanks again for all your encouragement! It really helps to talk to people in the same position. Stay tuned......Let me know how you are doing or if you just need to talk. Jaime

Hi All, Just starting the process. Called the surgery center for info today. They told me about the hoops for BC/BS of Illinois. I guess that is good so I don't jump in too fast but I hate waiting for so long;-(. couple of questions: 1. Did any of you lose weight during the 6 months? I am at about 37.8 bmi which is borderline so this sounds weird but I am worried about losing 20lbs like I always do when I diet and not qualify. 2. Does the diet have to be a controlled program like WW or can you just say you are doing South Beach or the billion other ones that we probably all tried? Thanks for your help! Jaime;-)