barngal2003

So I'm down to 4 days till surgery and I am sooo excited! My school work has fallen into place and now I'm officially graduated and having my surgery and I'm just so long over due for things to fall into place just once! I've noticed however, that I've become a lot more sensitive to little things people may say, even if I know they're ridiculous, like my sister tonight. She tells me on the phone that while she's ready for friday as well, she just wants it to be over, that she's apprehensive. I take it as she doesn't want me to have it, that she feels I don't need it. Which is ridiculous because she's supported my decision for the surgery since day one! I called her back and questioned her, and just about cried in the process because I want her continued support....Of course she told me I was crazy and I admitted that after thinking about it a little more she's right, the only thing she's apprehensive about is the fact that it's a surgery and it comes with the risks that all surgeries come with. I over reacted and I can't explain why, other than I guess I'm just getting close to my surgery date.....I'm just soo ready for it! Tomorrow I have my last final, EVER!!! And I'm taking a present to my mentor and lab professor and friend, then off to pack and load up and go home! Wednesday, I plan to do my post-op shopping and eat some sushi and mexican food, then ready to do the cleanse on thursday and friday is the day! Here we go!! It's like the rollercoaster is at the top of the hill, I'm peering over and ready to fly down it!!! WHOO!!!!! :rolleyes2::biggrin:

It's the final countdown! Literally, I've been playing the song by Europe from the Rocky movie...it's fantastic. lol I have 2 finals, 1 monday and 1 tuesday and not only am I completely done with school, that will make it 3 days till my surgery! Sadly, as much as I am excited I have so much to do! Lots of work to do in the lab that I work in, a little studying for my finals (thankfully I don't have to panic about those), packing because I have to be out of my apartment by 12/30 now because the carpet people are coming to clean the carpets. So there is no shortage of work to be done before friday, I can't believe I'm finally down to less than a week before the surgery! I doesn't seem real, I've waited for over a year for this, and now that I am in the final countdown, I can't believe it's actually going to happen! This time next week I will be recovering from the surgery, at home finally with my family, and ready to get a job! I know I know, once I enter the big bad world I will want to be back in school, but sadly money makes the world go 'round and I have to pay for this surgery somehow! So I need a job, preferably a good paying one, but I will definitely take what I can get. I guess I need to prioritize my worries, lol Get myself graduated, finish the lab work and get home for the surgery....worry about the job and moving once I get healed. Too bad over worrying runs in my family. lol I can say though that is a better worrying. Not a panic by any means, just a relaxed sort of, hmm I have to get a lot done. :rolleyes2: Well, as excited as I am, sitting here writing all my feelings down doesn't get my work done, so I'm going to go head to the lab and do as much work as possible, then come back and clean and pack, one step at a time and it'll be friday before you know it!

It's the final countdown! Literally, I've been playing the song by Europe from the Rocky movie...it's fantastic. lol I have 2 finals, 1 monday and 1 tuesday and not only am I completely done with school, that will make it 3 days till my surgery! Sadly, as much as I am excited I have so much to do! Lots of work to do in the lab that I work in, a little studying for my finals (thankfully I don't have to panic about those), packing because I have to be out of my apartment by 12/30 now because the carpet people are coming to clean the carpets. So there is no shortage of work to be done before friday, I can't believe I'm finally down to less than a week before the surgery! I doesn't seem real, I've waited for over a year for this, and now that I am in the final countdown, I can't believe it's actually going to happen! This time next week I will be recovering from the surgery, at home finally with my family, and ready to get a job! I know I know, once I enter the big bad world I will want to be back in school, but sadly money makes the world go 'round and I have to pay for this surgery somehow! So I need a job, preferably a good paying one, but I will definitely take what I can get. I guess I need to prioritize my worries, lol Get myself graduated, finish the lab work and get home for the surgery....worry about the job and moving once I get healed. Too bad over worrying runs in my family. lol I can say though that is a better worrying. Not a panic by any means, just a relaxed sort of, hmm I have to get a lot done. :biggrin: Well, as excited as I am, sitting here writing all my feelings down doesn't get my work done, so I'm going to go head to the lab and do as much work as possible, then come back and clean and pack, one step at a time and it'll be friday before you know it!

The excitement for my approaching surgery day is really building! :biggrin: I'm down to one lecture and 3 exams, I have to finish some work in a research lab that I work in (oddly enough, we do bio-medical research dealing with obesity and anorexia), and also revise a paper for my class. But all I want to do is think about my surgery, prepare for that, get packed in my apartment since I have to move out while healing from surgery. (No worries, I have help to move so that I won't have to lift anything over the recommendation of 15 lbs.:thumbup:) I know I have to focus but, it's just soo hard! The little scientist in me is soo eager to hear other people's stories...a lot of people have been talking about the noises their stomachs are making, which are caused by the stomach acids and/or liquids that are in the stomach, normal stomach growling is where your stomach makes a peristoltic wave to push the chyme (food and stomach acid mixed) to the bottom of the stomach to the pyloric sphyncter to allow an ounce at a time thru to the intestines. So think, you have just put a band around the top portion of your stomach, the liquids, gas from surgery, and stomach acid are mixing, churning, and trying to make the normal peristoltic wave that it would do, but the band is probably interfering with that, no worries, I'd say that once you get back onto the normal foods, the sounds should subside because it's less liquid to slosh around in there and make noises with. But, realize now that I am no Phd or MD just a biologist who works very closely with the human physiology in research. Now that I have that out of my system, again I'm really excited! I really would like to be one of those people who loses it really rapidly and in like 5 mos have like an insane amount of weight but at the same time, I don't want the excess skin.....Guess I'll just have to wait and see! I'm like a 4 yr old at Christmas! Can't wait to wake up and tear into my presents! This year my present is being healthy!:biggrin:

The excitement for my approaching surgery day is really building! :thumbup: I'm down to one lecture and 3 exams, I have to finish some work in a research lab that I work in (oddly enough, we do bio-medical research dealing with obesity and anorexia), and also revise a paper for my class. But all I want to do is think about my surgery, prepare for that, get packed in my apartment since I have to move out while healing from surgery. (No worries, I have help to move so that I won't have to lift anything over the recommendation of 15 lbs.:wink:) I know I have to focus but, it's just soo hard! The little scientist in me is soo eager to hear other people's stories...a lot of people have been talking about the noises their stomachs are making, which are caused by the stomach acids and/or liquids that are in the stomach, normal stomach growling is where your stomach makes a peristoltic wave to push the chyme (food and stomach acid mixed) to the bottom of the stomach to the pyloric sphyncter to allow an ounce at a time thru to the intestines. So think, you have just put a band around the top portion of your stomach, the liquids, gas from surgery, and stomach acid are mixing, churning, and trying to make the normal peristoltic wave that it would do, but the band is probably interfering with that, no worries, I'd say that once you get back onto the normal foods, the sounds should subside because it's less liquid to slosh around in there and make noises with. But, realize now that I am no Phd or MD just a biologist who works very closely with the human physiology in research. :biggrin: Now that I have that out of my system, again I'm really excited! I really would like to be one of those people who loses it really rapidly and in like 5 mos have like an insane amount of weight but at the same time, I don't want the excess skin.....Guess I'll just have to wait and see! I'm like a 4 yr old at Christmas! Can't wait to wake up and tear into my presents! This year my present is being healthy!:blushing:

Hi all! Thus far I'm glad to be reading that the earlier december bandsters have had successful surgeries! The 19th is right around the corner, 10 days now and I can't wait! I didn't get a pre-surgery diet other than the cleansing but, I've been doing my best to begin making the other behavioral changes that are necessary. Sadly, what actually worries me the most about the surgery is the fact that some of the people that have been banded already this month have reported having a catheter placed once they were out cold, and then removed when they awoke. I've never had a catheter, I've had my gall bladder removed and they didn't use one, nor did I have to cleanse for it, or a lot of the other things I've had done, but for some reason the idea of having one just sorta freaks me out. Otherwise, I'm pumped and can't wait for it! Best of luck to everyone in preparation for the big day!

Well, I went to Atlantic City this past weekend with my cousins, had a great weekend and relaxed before my finals!! Now it's time to kick butt! :confused: I'm down to 11 days I believe till my surgery, and I am super excited! :huh2: We joked all weekend about how once I have this done, and get a job (hopefully) because of our comps from the casinos we get free rooms, and most of the time we get really good and cheap airline tickets or just drive to the place so that cuts down on cost of travel, so all that's left is entertainment (gambling) and food, and once I have my surgery it'll be REALLY cheap to go, because according to my cousin Sandy, I can just nibble off of her plate. lol :thumbup: Yeah, I have to say, I know this is the beginning of my life, this is it! I have a dogwood blossom tat on the outside of my right ankle, a little above it actually, but it's the pink dogwoods. I got it in remembrance of my Mom who loved them, my religion because of the tale of how if Jesus were crucified on a tree it would have been a dogwood due to the now knarled trunk and the blossoms that go from white to pink that through his blood you can be cleansed. So yeah, I have the tattoo, and I love it, but I'm really thinking that I may extend it, like make it wrap down and across my foot and incorporate into one of the blossoms my rebirth (surgery) date, 12/19/08 and maybe a few little other things like my Dad's birthday or something, because he is very dear to me as well. I just feel so strongly about this being the turning point in my life, and I couldn't be more ready. I have support, I have the knowledge, the will, and soon the tool or means of doing it and I know that I can do this. If it takes a while ok, sure I'd like to be one of those who loses it quickly but I won't be discouraged if I'm not, I'm just going to do it and prove those who thought I couldn't, those who laughed or stared, the sabotaging lil devil inside my head, and anyone else who dares doubt me, I'm going to prove them wrong, I'm going to do this, I will be healthy, and I won't have to listen to my doctor nag me anymore. I refuse to walk into a casino again with my gorgeous cousin Sandy and have them hit on her and laugh at me, act as though I don't exist. I don't need them to hit on me, but don't scoff at me, don't laugh, don't tease, I'm human too. It's time to show the world who I am and what I can do...ya know? I have one more lecture in my class, and then 3 exams, (a bit much for one class I think, but whatever I'll do it and be done). I go home on the 16th after my last exam, to do shopping and preparing, the 18th I cleanse, and the 19th is the day, this week and weekend are going to fly by, and I'm ready for it. In other news, I really love to play blackjack and spanish 21...those are so much fun! :glare:

Well, I went to Atlantic City this past weekend with my cousins, had a great weekend and relaxed before my finals!! Now it's time to kick butt! :blushing: I'm down to 11 days I believe till my surgery, and I am super excited! :biggrin: We joked all weekend about how once I have this done, and get a job (hopefully) because of our comps from the casinos we get free rooms, and most of the time we get really good and cheap airline tickets or just drive to the place so that cuts down on cost of travel, so all that's left is entertainment (gambling) and food, and once I have my surgery it'll be REALLY cheap to go, because according to my cousin Sandy, I can just nibble off of her plate. lol :thumbup: Yeah, I have to say, I know this is the beginning of my life, this is it! I have a dogwood blossom tat on the outside of my right ankle, a little above it actually, but it's the pink dogwoods. I got it in remembrance of my Mom who loved them, my religion because of the tale of how if Jesus were crucified on a tree it would have been a dogwood due to the now knarled trunk and the blossoms that go from white to pink that through his blood you can be cleansed. So yeah, I have the tattoo, and I love it, but I'm really thinking that I may extend it, like make it wrap down and across my foot and incorporate into one of the blossoms my rebirth (surgery) date, 12/19/08 and maybe a few little other things like my Dad's birthday or something, because he is very dear to me as well. I just feel so strongly about this being the turning point in my life, and I couldn't be more ready. I have support, I have the knowledge, the will, and soon the tool or means of doing it and I know that I can do this. If it takes a while ok, sure I'd like to be one of those who loses it quickly but I won't be discouraged if I'm not, I'm just going to do it and prove those who thought I couldn't, those who laughed or stared, the sabotaging lil devil inside my head, and anyone else who dares doubt me, I'm going to prove them wrong, I'm going to do this, I will be healthy, and I won't have to listen to my doctor nag me anymore. I refuse to walk into a casino again with my gorgeous cousin Sandy and have them hit on her and laugh at me, act as though I don't exist. I don't need them to hit on me, but don't scoff at me, don't laugh, don't tease, I'm human too. It's time to show the world who I am and what I can do...ya know? I have one more lecture in my class, and then 3 exams, (a bit much for one class I think, but whatever I'll do it and be done). I go home on the 16th after my last exam, to do shopping and preparing, the 18th I cleanse, and the 19th is the day, this week and weekend are going to fly by, and I'm ready for it. In other news, I really love to play blackjack and spanish 21...those are so much fun! :wink:

Tonight my family and I went out to eat for my Dad's 65th birthday. It was a good meal and generally a good time...except... My brother-in-law doubts me. I told him that though I am not being banded till the 19th next week (while I have been working on it) I am going to cut drinking during meals completely, and make sure I'm taking a long time to eat, and really chewing my food. I really want to be ready for the surgery to make this life alterring transition as smooth as possible. He laughed at me and told me I wouldn't do it. I don't like what he did but that didn't bother me to terribly, I don't generally care what he says. But then, the surgery was brought up to my Dad's girlfriend, and from her facial expressions you could tell that she doesn't approve of my getting the band. Which I suspected all along as to the reason why my Dad may not fully support this decision...but I need his support. I was talking to my 15th yr old neice Ashleigh on the way home about the fact that this isn't just some little surgery, ohh I'll heal and all will go back to normal, this is changing my life! And how much I need my family's support on this! We both started crying and so I guess even though I haven't been banded yet, infact I still have a few weeks, I guess my emotional rollercoaster has begun. Here's to the final countdown. And praying that I get the support I need to help me properly use my tool, even though I'm determind I know the road will get rough, I know that this is going to be hard, and I just need them to help me through it. :confused:

Thanks for the comment Trina, I agree completely with you. I talked to my Dad, and he supports me, but he says he's still just unsure this is what I need and as his daughter he hates to see me go under the knife. But you are totally correct that people are comfortable with seeing us this way, and it bothers me that while I really care for Jeremy, that he may not be attracted to me afterwards or the changes we may go through because of my surgery may split us, but I suppose that's part of the gamble. It also bothers me that if he and I don't end up together, and I do find another guy who accepts me for who I am then, will he be ashamed of who I was, because being fat has made me who I am..ya know?

So, after an interestingly short break I am back at school to finish out the semester. I have 3 classes, 3 exams and 1 picture show excuse of a lecture left to go. This weekend I'm going to Atlantic City with my cousins and hopefully relax a little to prepare for finals. Here's the stressor, I HAVE NO MONEY! :biggrin: So, I know I'm not the only one in this boat, but I have no job, bills rolling in, class to finish and PASS might I add, it's Christmas time :thumbup: and found out today that my Dad has to have a root canal the same week of my surgery. So, yay for feeling completely helpless and like a complete moocher on my Dad. My sisters are much older than me and still get financial support from my Dad, and I hate draining him, and now with my loans, my car payment, my apartment (which I'm trying to sublease), my surgery payments (which is on my credit card, and not cheap let me tell you!!!) and it just makes me want to cry! The trip to Atlantic City for the most part is going to be free....they are comped rooms, and free tickets to see Manheim Steamroller, and it's only two nights. I just need to come up with enough money to pay for my food, and maybe entertain myself for a few hours by like, a penny slot or something. Problem is, the little money I had, went to bills this week and after Black friday, I'm broke. Aside from my sense of complete and utter hopelessness, I watched House tonight, it was rather depressing, they called a girl who had a gastric by pass a cheater and hypocrite, and come to find out what was making her sick was the fact that she couldn't eat carbs and sugars, so it was basically be fat and unhappy, or skinny and sick and possibly die.....not exactly something I want to hear at the moment, but it won't change my mind. I just want January to hurry up and get here, then I can put all of this behind me, and hopefully get some type of job to help with bills, and be on my way to a healthier, happier me. I just wish things weren't looking so glum right now. :biggrin3:

So, after an interestingly short break I am back at school to finish out the semester. I have 3 classes, 3 exams and 1 picture show excuse of a lecture left to go. This weekend I'm going to Atlantic City with my cousins and hopefully relax a little to prepare for finals. Here's the stressor, I HAVE NO MONEY! :glare: So, I know I'm not the only one in this boat, but I have no job, bills rolling in, class to finish and PASS might I add, it's Christmas time :thumbup: and found out today that my Dad has to have a root canal the same week of my surgery. So, yay for feeling completely helpless and like a complete moocher on my Dad. My sisters are much older than me and still get financial support from my Dad, and I hate draining him, and now with my loans, my car payment, my apartment (which I'm trying to sublease), my surgery payments (which is on my credit card, and not cheap let me tell you!!!) and it just makes me want to cry! The trip to Atlantic City for the most part is going to be free....they are comped rooms, and free tickets to see Manheim Steamroller, and it's only two nights. I just need to come up with enough money to pay for my food, and maybe entertain myself for a few hours by like, a penny slot or something. Problem is, the little money I had, went to bills this week and after Black friday, I'm broke. Aside from my sense of complete and utter hopelessness, I watched House tonight, it was rather depressing, they called a girl who had a gastric by pass a cheater and hypocrite, and come to find out what was making her sick was the fact that she couldn't eat carbs and sugars, so it was basically be fat and unhappy, or skinny and sick and possibly die.....not exactly something I want to hear at the moment, but it won't change my mind. I just want January to hurry up and get here, then I can put all of this behind me, and hopefully get some type of job to help with bills, and be on my way to a healthier, happier me. I just wish things weren't looking so glum right now. :confused:

It's great to hear that you're doing well. I hope that my surgery goes as well as your own! I'm a little bothered that they gave you the liquid lortab, I understand why, but I don't do liquid medications very well. I really am glad that you haven't had much nausea, that's been worrying me as well. Hope all continues to go well with the healing process!

Tonight my family and I went out to eat for my Dad's 65th birthday. It was a good meal and generally a good time...except... My brother-in-law doubts me. I told him that though I am not being banded till the 19th next week (while I have been working on it) I am going to cut drinking during meals completely, and make sure I'm taking a long time to eat, and really chewing my food. I really want to be ready for the surgery to make this life alterring transition as smooth as possible. He laughed at me and told me I wouldn't do it. I don't like what he did but that didn't bother me to terribly, I don't generally care what he says. But then, the surgery was brought up to my Dad's girlfriend, and from her facial expressions you could tell that she doesn't approve of my getting the band. Which I suspected all along as to the reason why my Dad may not fully support this decision...but I need his support. I was talking to my 15th yr old neice Ashleigh on the way home about the fact that this isn't just some little surgery, ohh I'll heal and all will go back to normal, this is changing my life! And how much I need my family's support on this! We both started crying and so I guess even though I haven't been banded yet, infact I still have a few weeks, I guess my emotional rollercoaster has begun. Here's to the final countdown. And praying that I get the support I need to help me properly use my tool, even though I'm determind I know the road will get rough, I know that this is going to be hard, and I just need them to help me through it. :thumbup:

First day back home!!! Yay!! :willy_nilly: I have to say, I can't wait to be back home for good, but I'll take what I can get! So after the events of thursday night, and yesterday, I thought last night I'd snuggle up in my old bed and go right to sleep, not the case. Good thing I have an appointment with my PCP on tuesday, hopefully he can give me something to help me sleep, since nothing else seems to work. I got my protein sampler kit from Bariatric Advantage!!! I'm excited to try the stuff in it this week. Althoug there's this one thing in there called "profect" it's like a protein shot in like a test tube, weird looking, they said you can take it as a shot of 2.9 ounces or mix it, even though the flavor of the one they sent me is blue raspberry swirl, I think I'm more hesitant about that one than any. But I'm definitely going to try it! So, I've been working on slowing down my eatting, and not drinking with my meals so that once I get the band, I'm not in complete shock. Last night, Dad took me out to dinner and we're very used to inhaling our food and then heading out, a meal for us at La Carreta, which is a normal dinner place for us, usually only takes about 30 min tops! Last night, I ate like 2 chips before my meal came, didn't drink any of my sweet tea until I had a bite of food that was, insanely hot temperature-wise!! And, the big kicker, we were there for well over an hour! My Dad needless to say was sitting there watching me eat for a good portion of the time because he as usual inhaled his food but at the end of the meal, I apologized for taking so long but again explained that I HAVE to slow down and work on not drinking, I can't just continue the way we used to do things or the $15,400 that I've spent to get this band will be a waste, and I'm not going to allow myself to do that. He nodded, I know he understands, but I still don't think he's fully behind the idea of the band. I can't say it doesn't bother me, but I'm doing my best to ignore it for now, he'll come around I know it, but for now, I'll just let him do his thing and deal with it in his own time. Come Dec 18th (my cleanse date) I know I can count on Daddy to see me thru. Anyway, I'm off here to go re-decorate my room, check in with my neice Ashleigh and probably play with my dogs......I love being home!!!

First day back home!!! Yay!! :cool: I have to say, I can't wait to be back home for good, but I'll take what I can get! So after the events of thursday night, and yesterday, I thought last night I'd snuggle up in my old bed and go right to sleep, not the case. Good thing I have an appointment with my PCP on tuesday, hopefully he can give me something to help me sleep, since nothing else seems to work. I got my protein sampler kit from Bariatric Advantage!!! I'm excited to try the stuff in it this week. Althoug there's this one thing in there called "profect" it's like a protein shot in like a test tube, weird looking, they said you can take it as a shot of 2.9 ounces or mix it, even though the flavor of the one they sent me is blue raspberry swirl, I think I'm more hesitant about that one than any. But I'm definitely going to try it! So, I've been working on slowing down my eatting, and not drinking with my meals so that once I get the band, I'm not in complete shock. Last night, Dad took me out to dinner and we're very used to inhaling our food and then heading out, a meal for us at La Carreta, which is a normal dinner place for us, usually only takes about 30 min tops! Last night, I ate like 2 chips before my meal came, didn't drink any of my sweet tea until I had a bite of food that was, insanely hot temperature-wise!! And, the big kicker, we were there for well over an hour! My Dad needless to say was sitting there watching me eat for a good portion of the time because he as usual inhaled his food but at the end of the meal, I apologized for taking so long but again explained that I HAVE to slow down and work on not drinking, I can't just continue the way we used to do things or the $15,400 that I've spent to get this band will be a waste, and I'm not going to allow myself to do that. He nodded, I know he understands, but I still don't think he's fully behind the idea of the band. I can't say it doesn't bother me, but I'm doing my best to ignore it for now, he'll come around I know it, but for now, I'll just let him do his thing and deal with it in his own time. Come Dec 18th (my cleanse date) I know I can count on Daddy to see me thru. Anyway, I'm off here to go re-decorate my room, check in with my neice Ashleigh and probably play with my dogs......I love being home!!!

So, it's finally friday, last day of the week and the last class before my Thanksgiving break. It couldn't have come at a better time. Aside from doing my best to pass this last class, yesterday evening I spotted a knot or nodule on my boyfriend Jeremy's dog, Bailey. I had been watching the area for a rash that had appeared after a tick bite, and since catching things early is always the best wat to do it, we took her to the vet. Good news is, it's probably not lyme's disease even though we're going ahead and treating her for it, bad news is, after aspiration (draining out some of the fluid) of the nodule, the vet feels that it's probably malignant. I've had a past with cancer, a lot of friends and family have had it, some beat it by entering final rest and others beat it with medicines. Either way, they beat it, but the point is, just having a tumor removed isn't a death sentence anymore and for people who haven't experienced it, it can be very hard to grasp that knowledge. Jeremy is one of those people. So, I asked the vet to go on, remove the tumor and as much of the surrounding tissue as he felt necessary to make sure we get it all out, and then send the tumor to a veterinary pathologist who could tell us definitely if it's cancer and if it is what kind we're dealing with. So Bailey had surgery last night, problem is, as bad as she feels she let us know all night long. We picked her up at about 11 last night, and she was really disoriented from the medication/anesthesia, side effect of the meds...incontinence. Yep, all night long we constantly had to wipe her butt. All night. I mean literally all night. She's so pitiful she just wimpers and we know she can't help it, but man it smells and as much as we've tried to keep her in one area and keep her down so that we don't have it everywhere in the apartment, she's a scared and disoriented dog, so that didn't work. Like I said, Thanksgiving break couldn't come at a better time, tonight, I'll be sleeping in my bed at home, 2 hours away. I don't mean to sound mean but she's a big dog and I love her to pieces but, I will be sooo happy to sleep and not wipe her butt every few minutes. I just hope these effects wear off really soon. I worry that with the disorientation and she's now wearing a satellite collar and scared to death of it, I worry she'll do something and rip her staples out. On a different note, when we did get in last night, it was snowing. This morning, still snowing, and my class is 30 min away by mountain roads. Joy. I wish they'd cancel it, my little car doesn't like slick roads, but knowing the university and specifically the professor which has no soul, they won't. The other day I ordered a protein sampler pack from Bariatric Advantage and it arrived home yesterday, so I will be experimenting with that over the course of the break. Also trying to move stuff home from the apartment, and do homework for this crazy class. It just seems like there is always something going on in my life....and most of the time, it's not good things going on. But c'est la vie! I suppose.....:willy_nilly:

So, it's finally friday, last day of the week and the last class before my Thanksgiving break. It couldn't have come at a better time. Aside from doing my best to pass this last class, yesterday evening I spotted a knot or nodule on my boyfriend Jeremy's dog, Bailey. I had been watching the area for a rash that had appeared after a tick bite, and since catching things early is always the best wat to do it, we took her to the vet. Good news is, it's probably not lyme's disease even though we're going ahead and treating her for it, bad news is, after aspiration (draining out some of the fluid) of the nodule, the vet feels that it's probably malignant. I've had a past with cancer, a lot of friends and family have had it, some beat it by entering final rest and others beat it with medicines. Either way, they beat it, but the point is, just having a tumor removed isn't a death sentence anymore and for people who haven't experienced it, it can be very hard to grasp that knowledge. Jeremy is one of those people. So, I asked the vet to go on, remove the tumor and as much of the surrounding tissue as he felt necessary to make sure we get it all out, and then send the tumor to a veterinary pathologist who could tell us definitely if it's cancer and if it is what kind we're dealing with. So Bailey had surgery last night, problem is, as bad as she feels she let us know all night long. We picked her up at about 11 last night, and she was really disoriented from the medication/anesthesia, side effect of the meds...incontinence. Yep, all night long we constantly had to wipe her butt. All night. I mean literally all night. She's so pitiful she just wimpers and we know she can't help it, but man it smells and as much as we've tried to keep her in one area and keep her down so that we don't have it everywhere in the apartment, she's a scared and disoriented dog, so that didn't work. Like I said, Thanksgiving break couldn't come at a better time, tonight, I'll be sleeping in my bed at home, 2 hours away. I don't mean to sound mean but she's a big dog and I love her to pieces but, I will be sooo happy to sleep and not wipe her butt every few minutes. I just hope these effects wear off really soon. I worry that with the disorientation and she's now wearing a satellite collar and scared to death of it, I worry she'll do something and rip her staples out. On a different note, when we did get in last night, it was snowing. This morning, still snowing, and my class is 30 min away by mountain roads. Joy. I wish they'd cancel it, my little car doesn't like slick roads, but knowing the university and specifically the professor which has no soul, they won't. The other day I ordered a protein sampler pack from Bariatric Advantage and it arrived home yesterday, so I will be experimenting with that over the course of the break. Also trying to move stuff home from the apartment, and do homework for this crazy class. It just seems like there is always something going on in my life....and most of the time, it's not good things going on. But c'est la vie! I suppose.....:cool:

So, my name is Jecca...not legally but everyone calls me that who knows me. I currently weigh roughly 326 lbs. and I'm 5'10. I've heard that journaling and blogging thoughts can help relieve stress and stress is bad, so I thought I'd give it a whirl. I'm currently trying desperately to finish my BS from Radford University in biology. It's taken me 5 and a half years but hopefully it ends this december! The class I'm taking is a very hard one, and is only taught by one professor, who just happens to be the one who failed me last semester. The man truly has no soul, if I can pull a 60...just a 60 in that damn class I'm done! Not to mention that I've had all sorts of other things going on this semester and trying to prepare for my surgery. I'm so excited about my surgery that I can barely sleep at night. I just know that what I look like right now, isn't what I'm supposed to look like, isn't healthy, and I'm soo tired of the social stigmas that come with the package. I'm not ashamed of who I am, I know I've tried to lose it on my own, but I can't, I need help, I need a tool, and that's what the lapband is going to give me, the help I need to succeed. My Dad and middle sister Ann, don't believe that it will help me, they think I'm wasting my time and money, that if I just tried to lose weight I could do it, no doubt my Dad's girlfriend (who no one really likes) thinks the same is true. That really hurts. My oldest sister Lisa, believes that it can help me, that maybe I need this, but hates me to have to have any surgery because of the risks. I understand that, but I KNOW I need this! At times it seems like the only ones who TRULY get me, are my boyfriend Jeremy, and my oldest neice Ashleigh (she's 15). Jeremy has seen me try, he knows I give it my all, he knows what this surgery means to me, and he wants me to do it, but worries about me during the surgery. Sometimes I think I forget how much he cares, until he talks to me about the surgery and then I remember that he wants me to be healthy, and will love me no matter what I look like (although he says that he really doesn't want to see my butt or boobs go lol). Ashleigh on the other hand, I think she sees the social stigma parts only. My first surgical consult, she and my Dad were with me, went to the classes and everything! When the doctor asked me about how my weight effected my life, and I told about the kids in elementary school teasing me, the boys laughing at me if I had a crush on them, the people treating me like I'm a leper and not being able to do what I enjoy...she cried...my Dad asked her why, and she said it was because she didn't know how hard it was to be me. She of course is a bean stalk, but I think she sees more now that it's hard to be obese. I know that she's excited for me to have this surgery, and swears that on my post-op diet until I can eat solid foods again, she's going to eat only what I can eat, I won't hold her to that, but it's sweet. My Dad just wants me to be healthy, I know that, and I think that once I have the surgery and come out ok, and then start to lose the weight, he'll fully support me, Ann on the other hand, I've grown to almost not care what she says/thinks. As for my friends, the ones who know, they support me, and I know that's what I really need right now, less stress, more support, to get done with school, to finish reading the Beck Diet Solution and to have a good Thanksgiving. I've already told Dad that Thanksgiving is going to be basically my last supper, and so I'm going to literally pig out! I have 1 more class till Thanksgiving break, then 6 classes and 2 exams and it'll be time for my surgery. I can't wait, I just hope/pray that I can survive this class, and reward myself with the best Christmas present ever, starting a new life, of being healthy and a lot thinner. I remember in high school I weighed 180. I thought I could still stand to lose ohhhh another 40 or 50 lbs, maybe so, but when I look back at those pictures, I was slim, but not skin and bones by any means, and I looked good. Now if I can only get back to that. :willy_nilly:

Thanks for the comment Amanda, I appreciate your concern about pigging out. I guess for me, pigging out this thanksgiving meant not so much as make wrong choices in food or having so much food that I want to bust, but more of, if I have a little more mashed potatoes or a second slice of turkey it's ok. I realize that the band is merely a tool for me, and I've been reading the Beck Diet Solution to help me make the right behavior changes and make them permanent. However, I guess with everything going on, like finishing my degree I really am looking forward to my last homecooked meal with my family for awhile, since come Christmas I'll be having liquids. I don't mind that changes, but I always look forward to the holidays because its the one or two times a year I get to experience my Dad's good cooking. But I understand completely that I need to be making the right choices now, and getting in the swing of things to make this work. I really do appreciate your comment :cool:

So, my name is Jecca...not legally but everyone calls me that who knows me. I currently weigh roughly 326 lbs. and I'm 5'10. I've heard that journaling and blogging thoughts can help relieve stress and stress is bad, so I thought I'd give it a whirl. I'm currently trying desperately to finish my BS from Radford University in biology. It's taken me 5 and a half years but hopefully it ends this december! The class I'm taking is a very hard one, and is only taught by one professor, who just happens to be the one who failed me last semester. The man truly has no soul, if I can pull a 60...just a 60 in that damn class I'm done! Not to mention that I've had all sorts of other things going on this semester and trying to prepare for my surgery. I'm so excited about my surgery that I can barely sleep at night. I just know that what I look like right now, isn't what I'm supposed to look like, isn't healthy, and I'm soo tired of the social stigmas that come with the package. I'm not ashamed of who I am, I know I've tried to lose it on my own, but I can't, I need help, I need a tool, and that's what the lapband is going to give me, the help I need to succeed. My Dad and middle sister Ann, don't believe that it will help me, they think I'm wasting my time and money, that if I just tried to lose weight I could do it, no doubt my Dad's girlfriend (who no one really likes) thinks the same is true. That really hurts. My oldest sister Lisa, believes that it can help me, that maybe I need this, but hates me to have to have any surgery because of the risks. I understand that, but I KNOW I need this! At times it seems like the only ones who TRULY get me, are my boyfriend Jeremy, and my oldest neice Ashleigh (she's 15). Jeremy has seen me try, he knows I give it my all, he knows what this surgery means to me, and he wants me to do it, but worries about me during the surgery. Sometimes I think I forget how much he cares, until he talks to me about the surgery and then I remember that he wants me to be healthy, and will love me no matter what I look like (although he says that he really doesn't want to see my butt or boobs go lol). Ashleigh on the other hand, I think she sees the social stigma parts only. My first surgical consult, she and my Dad were with me, went to the classes and everything! When the doctor asked me about how my weight effected my life, and I told about the kids in elementary school teasing me, the boys laughing at me if I had a crush on them, the people treating me like I'm a leper and not being able to do what I enjoy...she cried...my Dad asked her why, and she said it was because she didn't know how hard it was to be me. She of course is a bean stalk, but I think she sees more now that it's hard to be obese. I know that she's excited for me to have this surgery, and swears that on my post-op diet until I can eat solid foods again, she's going to eat only what I can eat, I won't hold her to that, but it's sweet. My Dad just wants me to be healthy, I know that, and I think that once I have the surgery and come out ok, and then start to lose the weight, he'll fully support me, Ann on the other hand, I've grown to almost not care what she says/thinks. As for my friends, the ones who know, they support me, and I know that's what I really need right now, less stress, more support, to get done with school, to finish reading the Beck Diet Solution and to have a good Thanksgiving. I've already told Dad that Thanksgiving is going to be basically my last supper, and so I'm going to literally pig out! I have 1 more class till Thanksgiving break, then 6 classes and 2 exams and it'll be time for my surgery. I can't wait, I just hope/pray that I can survive this class, and reward myself with the best Christmas present ever, starting a new life, of being healthy and a lot thinner. I remember in high school I weighed 180. I thought I could still stand to lose ohhhh another 40 or 50 lbs, maybe so, but when I look back at those pictures, I was slim, but not skin and bones by any means, and I looked good. Now if I can only get back to that. :cool:

South 1010, I have a 12.19.08 date too!!!! Are you bursting with excitement yet? I am! I'm even having trouble sleeping at night, I can only imagine how bad the excitement is going to be come 12.18!!! Best of luck! let me know what's up, since we're on the same time line!

I know I'm not getting the realize band, I think it's the AP band? My surgeon gave me the choice of either, I told him I didn't know that there was any difference so it didn't matter to me, he suggested the AP band, and so I said ok. Is there a difference between the bands?