anonemouse

Bingo. Every single experienced, successful bandster out there has taken responsibility for themselves. If you asked them, I'm sure they'd all tell you that they all know exactly how to eat past the band, to cheat, etc. What makes them successful is that they've made a choice not to. I mean, I've been banded less than a year. I know exactly what to do to eat past my band. I just have to suck it up and NOT do it. Does that mean I NEVER do it? No, sometimes I just feel like eating, so I do. But I make sure not to do it every day, I acknowledge the fact that it's all on me if my weight loss stalls, and I resolve to do better (and I usually do). It's not because something happened in my life in the past, or because I was depressed, yadda, yadda, yadda. It's because I felt like eating like a pig and did so.

True. Honestly, I think the people that play into it and that encourage the behavior are more irritating, though. I mean, some people just aren't ready to accept that they make their own destiny, so to speak, when it comes to losing weight (speaking about most people, not the few with true health issues that cause problems with losing weight). And that's fine. But that doesn't mean that everyone else needs to basically agree that they're helpless or whatever.

Yes, I know this isn't the right forum to post this, but y'all know me best and hopefully I can get a quicker response here! :rolleyes2: I found a posting for a job last night that I REALLY want. It pays crap, but it sounds like it would be SO MUCH FUN (if you like wildlife and the Everglades, anyway). I'm writing up a cover letter for my application right now, so hopefully you guys can critique it for me. First, here's the job posting (with identifying information removed, of course): Here's what I've got so far (again, identifying info removed):

Oh, wow. Biiiig birdie! You might get a kick out of this: Whenever I'm driving with my mom in the car, she always lectures me not to birdwatch while I'm driving. Apparently, I steer in the direction I'm looking. But it's hard not to keep looking when I see a neat looking bird or if I'm trying to figure out what species it is.

It pretty much was charity, though, lol! It was basically just a scholarship that covered the out-of-state portion of my tuition and supplied a small stipend, in return for teaching labs for the university. Pretty much just a way for the university to get out of paying a professor to do it. I'm REALLY hoping I get it. Of course, it means that I'd have to put off the plastic surgery I was wanting for at least a year, maybe more, but it'll be worth it. But hey, who knows, maybe I can save enough that I can pay for my surgery and not have to finance it. And I LOVE the Everglades. I'm weird. Love alligators, crocodiles, snakes, etc. Hate bugs, but that's what bug spray is for, I guess. :redface: I'm really trying not to get my hopes up, but it's hard.

Thanks for the tips! I rephrased some of the stuff, like you suggested, and it sounds much better. The snail kite is a very cool bird. I attached a picture, so that you can see what it looks like. I've never seen one in person, myself, but I've always wanted to. When I went to the Everglades on a 10-day class trip several years ago, the professor that went with us was OBSESSED with finding one, but we never did.

I'm kinda in the same boat as you, Jachut, as you know from our PMs, lol! I understand being depressed, I understand denial. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Hell, got the whole damn WARDROBE. But eventually, people gotta, well, for lack of better words, get over it and take responsibility for themselves, the position they've gotten themselves into, and the way they're going to get themselves out of it, because no one is going to do it for them.

Okay, second draft, with a few slight changes made:

I basically just sent them a highly scolding email. I told them that they won't like what will happen, in terms of assignments and exams, if something like that occurs again, though. I'll give them a second chance and then crack down, lol. But I do like the idea of a nice, long paper. Exactly. I wouldn't have been surprised to see the legless mouse at the end of a 8th or 9th grade biology class. Don't get me wrong, I'd have been disappointed, but stuff like that is what young teens do fairly often. The majority of these students, though, are in their 20s/30s. The tendency to destroy property should be long past.

To be quite honest, I vent here because it keeps the irritation from building up and me taking it out on them. I'll admit that I get annoyed when they do things that are legitimately annoying. It'd take a very strong person NOT to get pissed off when your students intentionally destroy university property. I'm not that person. I DO get irritated and upset when property is destroyed, when some of my students are whining seemingly non-stop because they want the class to be a "bird" course, when I have the occasional student that doesn't interact with me whatsoever (doesn't ask questions, hardly comes to class, doesn't bother to attempt extra credit assignments, yadda, yadda, yadda) and then asks for leeway at the end of the semester, etc. Does that mean that I don't enjoy teaching? Of course not. I do enjoy it, but that doesn't mean that I don't get irritated and frustrated with it and/or my students occasionally, and I think every single teacher out there will say the same thing. The difference is that they bitch and complain about their problem students to their colleagues and friends and I do it here. Any job out there is going to have some aspects that annoy the people that work it. I appreciate my good students, and they return the sentiment (for example, I get free Starbucks stuff every so often from my former students that work there). The problem students are the annoying aspects of the job that I just have to live with while I'm doing the job, and I live with it by venting so that I don't burn out or take things out unnecessarily on my good students.

What are you ladies wearing right now? Are your binders/compression garments obvious? The reason I'm asking is that if I have surgery in early August (which is when I'd like to have it), I'll probably be going back to teaching while I'll still be in a binder or garment, and I don't want everyone and his brother to know that I'm wearing one.

Here a list that I took to my PS consultation (these are all for tummy tuck and breast lift): Can you tell how far apart the abdominal muscles are before the surgery? How aggressive are you with muscle repair? How tight do you pull the skin down? Where are the drains placed? How long will the drains be in? Will I have to wear a binder or compression garment? How long will I have to wear it? Is it included in the price? How much are you going to take off? Is lipo included? Will I wake up in pain or is that controlled already? Where is the scar placed? How far back does it go? How long until I will be able to stand straight? How will the lap-band port affect the tummy tuck? Will the incision be closed by staples, stitches or glue? Is pain level controlled by a pump after? Will I be able to get any medications (pain/nausea/etc.) in liquid or small/split-able tablets? Will I lose nipple sensation? How long before I can return to work? To exercise?

Ditto from me! Except I'm a Tennessee/Kentucky wannabe! Good luck Frangipani! :thumbup:

Of course! I'll probably put a link to the thread in my sig, too.

I think that's very true. My whole position is that I hate to see someone giving up on themselves and on their band when they haven't even attempted to truly utilize their tool. To me, it's almost a slap in the face to those people who have really tried to make this work for them and still haven't had success or have had only limited success. And I know other people don't necessarily see it that way, but that is what really bothers me about this whole thing. If they've truly had problems with their band or if they've honestly got health problems that prevent them from losing weight or make it extremely difficult, I have tons of sympathy for them and you would never have seen me replying in a harsh, "get your butt in gear" fashion towards them, because that would not have been an iota of help to them. But someone that basically says "I just don't want to" or "I don't feel like it" and then wants sympathy/support for being a "band failure"? That's a whole 'nother ballgame.

I'll definitely keep everyone updated! If I decide to go ahead and do it, I'll probably start a thread over in the plastic surgery forum with before/after shots.

Lol, I don't think I've EVER had perky boobs or a flat belly, so I'm REALLY looking forward to it.

Oh, I've already gone on consultations, lol. :biggrin2: I went to three different surgeons and found one that clicked really well. I love her, I'm just not thrilled with spending almost $13,000 (but it won't be any cheaper with anyone else, so I'll probably bite the bullet and do it). The way I'm going to look at it, I think, is that I could have finished grad school with that much or more of loan debt, but didn't, so it all rounds out in the end.

I didn't, but I know your nutritionist. :biggrin: She's my brother's ex.

Yep, my first goal is to weigh 140 pounds (longterm goal is 125, though), and I promised myself that I'd make appointments the first day I see 140 on my scale. I'm almost psyching myself out of it, though, worrying about finances. I need to make up my mind soon, though, 'cause if I want to have surgery in August, I need to call and schedule a date within the next few weeks. Otherwise, it's gonna have to wait until December, due to work and stuff.

Bingo, Wasa. No one here is saying that all slow losers or people who have problems being banded are horrible, lazy people. But the simple fact is that Brandy has openly admitted that she's non-compliant with a lot of the necessary behavioral changes that come along with banding. And I'm sorry, but it isn't at all supportive, IMO, to basically just tell her, "I'm so sorry that you're having trouble, just keep doing what you're doing and you'll be a success." To put it simply, being banded takes work and it takes making CHANGES to what you are doing. If what you are doing is what made you fat in the first place, what makes you think that you'll suddenly start losing weight if you continue to do it? Yeah, there's a few people here who have lost a lot of weight while not restricting what they eat or not exercising. They are the extreme minority, though. And if you read through their posts, you'll see that many of them have just exchanged one eating disorder for another, because the only way they've been able to succeed is by basically starving themselves on extremely tiny portions and yacking it back up. The fact is, for Brandy to become a successful bandster, she is going to have to make some changes. No one said that she suddenly has to become a marathon-runner or an aerobics instructor or a nutritionist, but she has to do SOMETHING. And yes, if she had made this thread in one of the support forums, I can guarantee that no one would have confronted her as harshly as they did in this forum. But she didn't make it in one of those forums. If someone makes a thread in Rants and Raves, they should be prepared for what they get.

Ha! Don't forget the case of Mt. Dew!

Is this where I can stick in my "God is a god, but all gods are not God, capital-G versus lower-case-g" speech?

Brandy, no matter how harsh posts get, no one here truly wants you to leave. And I DO mean no one, even Wasa. You're a great person and an asset to the board. It's just hard for many of us to sit here and watch someone defeat themselves. We just want to step in and intervene and set you on the right track to being a success. Sometimes, that comes across too harshly, and I apologize for all of our posts that have seemed that way.

I personally look at stuff like this as an intervention. In many cases, we can see what a person is doing (in many cases, defeating themselves) before they themselves can see it. Just like when people try to get their friends out of abusive relationships. The people around the person can see that they are in a bad situation before the person IN the situation can.