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Yep that was a PB candra!! I can't eat broccoli at all just doesn't work. Wait until you get more of a fill!! LOL. I am also realizing I need to stop with the bread again. It is back to bread not working again. 5.5 cc's is a great fill for me I guess!! I am way to full right now.........I barely ate this morning. My band is really tight the last couple of days with TOM and all. I don't know if it will loosen after but if not I DON'T want a fill this month. I will wait until next week to decide but I don't want to get to tight again. Well best wishes to all!! Welcome beatrice. Everyone is right you'll be fine. Worrying before hand was much worse than the actual surgery for me...............all that worrying for nothing!! :-) But I do tend to be a worrier anyway. I find I worry about stuff I can't really control and it stresses me out. Seriously it was nothing like I imagined..............

WAtching the Kaiser website for medical social worker jobs the last couple of weeks...........nothing close to home yet unless I want to work per diem.............I might do that one weekend per month just to get my foot in the door........... ok melatonin just kicked in I am gonna be out here really soon!!!!

Oh next weekend is out for me. I have plans already!! But the 24th I am there............. Donna will be glad to have you back home!! Riley I am doing ok. Truthfully I am. Lots of changes the last year and I feel more coming. Seems like when I stared this journey a year ago I was just preparing for a total change in other ways too. So glad I have my health so that all this choas the last month has been easier. A year ago moving jobs would have killed me.........now I might kill someone if they don't stop playing games with my job I just think alot o changes are coming and who knew a year ago how much things would change for me...........I had no clue this has been surreal. I started the journey on NOvember 7, 2009...........so almost a year and a world of difference in alot of ways. Next year?? Big changes too I just feel it.............funny thing was a year ago I was trying to find another job and finally gave up in April after the county went on freeze.......ironic in September I got a new job..........so I got what I wanted in a twisted way...........just thinking about all that tonight.............weird stuff.........

Hey everyone.........headed to bed. My job is fine don't get me wrong. Just really different and not sure I want to stay here forever. Gonna try it out but also thinking about other options. I sorta feel unsettled right now. Like this is just a stopping point to another destination. I don't know exactly why I feel that way.....maybe I don't totally trust what the county is up to and I sorta know more moves will come along after Christmas and that could again change my position if I don't get laid off. The county is talking massive layoffs in January so hard to feel settled anywhere within the county right now.........Maybe that is why I sorta feel restless like this is not my final destination. I am not unhappy where I am at. Just not sure about it yet...........certainly alot more time consuming even if not really harder. Sorta the same but different enough that I have moments of confusion!! Candra I was exhausted for about 6-8 weeks. Even going to the store wiped me out I would have to take a nap. I slept 12-14 hours a day for a month than early nights after work........but my energy came back. But I felt weird to being so wiped out all the time..........it is normal for us Prius's I think...... Great week to all. I put all the Halloween candy away today. Cleaned my house and back yard. Getting ready for the storm.......put my patio set away and the umbrella down for the winter. Ready for fall to hit now!! I have a few blisters but my yard looks great and totally winterized.

Nicole I fixed your ticker...........you go girl!! Back to journaling again today!!

Oh I didn't get the other job I applied for. Turns out my mother got the position and we can't be in the same unit. I didn't know she applied. It sorta irratated me since she told me to apply too. But I guess her old position will be posted in two weeks and I can try again. Just don't know I sorta want to try to make this other job work if I don't have to to tons of overtime.................hard to make a choice went you haven't been on the job long enough to know what your walking away from. But again I am working Emergency response.............so that does indicate late hours at least sometimes during the week.............you can't control when an ER call comes in than you have two hours to get out to the hospital or home.............and ah working with pos tox babies...........well they could be born ANYTIME!! I went to a home last week that smelled strong on THC. It was crazy. They guy was high as a kite but tried to deny it. I was going to tell him that his wife and baby were pos tox in the hospital and he was the safety plan. Ah yea right.................so that blew my plans and I had to start with a new plan at 4pm. That sorta stuff is what worries me cause you can't plan or control it. I like to work fast than go home. But that seems to be out of my control. I did ask for more work last week cause they had me sit for two days and I can't sit for long. I need to be out moving or the day drags to long. They looked at me like I was crazy!! :-) But seriously one family to work with in two weeks. Boring!! :-P I am used to having 22-25 families to deal with a day!! LOL. I hate sitting not doing anything..............I guess my old job ruined me!! I start on the official rotation tomorrow so we will see how crazy it gets. They let me relax the last two weeks but it hits full force tomorrow...................wish me NO LATE NIGHTS this week!! :-P

Evening all.......... Riley I hear you on the balance. I think that is what I have had to do lately with the new job and all the changes going on. I am still doing ok with the weight loss. Slow but steady. But I have had to really focus on learning a new job and getting use to getting up earlier and the commute. The weight loss was my focus over work all summer and I had to balance things out a bit to survive. For awhile there it was all work but now I am back to a little bit of everything. So I totally hear the learning to balance. Heather I quit school several times. Got married, had a kid got divorce and went back at 24. When for 7 years straight while being a single mom. graduated at 31. So it is all good. I took about 6 years off before I went back. I don't recommend the divorce and single mom thing... but don't stress to much. And what I heard from the county is that it will take 2-3 years before things stablized again. I am on the supervisors list but until things stablize I can't move up either. Reggie: Glad your back. :-) MIssed ya. Of course I haven't been around as much either but ya know it is all good. I read up on the forum even when I don't post...... Candra and Jes: Doing good ladies. Can't wait to see you again. Jes I have an appointment on the 29th at Pinole. Where is yours? Pat: welcome to the group!! NICOLE: where is nicole?? I am worried about her. she hasn't been online much lately or chat. Well down 5 pounds this week. I guess my fill took awhile to kick in. I really can't eat much. I get stuck easy. I think that 1/4 cup thing is what works. 4-6 bites and I have to stop or PB. Again don't know about a fill on the 29th. Well see if I lost another 5 next week than maybe..........I am just perfect right now. I am at the sweet spot and so glad to be back. Maybe .25 at this point .5 would be a problem..... Pam: YOur who I forgot. Yep I lose slowly too. But I am feeling really good lately. Like being in 14's and some 12's. I just feel good so whatever else I lose is a bonus for me. I am already feeling more comfortable being me. I still want to get down another 25-50 but I am ok with slow. That unfill slowed me way down. But back on a roll since the last fill. 4 more pounds and undert 200..........I am hoping for that before the 29th......than my next goal is 180 after that.....................from there we will see since I will be under 30BMI......... Well wishing you all

My ticker is back to normal again!! It is actually telling the truth once more!! LOL. Jes and Candra your in bandster hell I went though that too. I lost 12 after surgery gained back 4 and settle in at 8 until I got enough of a fill than it started to come off again............I am the slow loser of the bunch. But I am down almost another 20 since than so it does come off...........but I was pissed off that I went through bandster hell for so looooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggg..................my luck!! :-) It will get better!!

Good luck to all those walking today.............have fun!! I am down three pounds this morning and I ate alot yesterday. I guess I needed to :-) But probably not the Halloween candy ;-0 I do have restriction but starting to feel it slide away. So I guess a fill on the 29th is probably a good thing. After than I probably won't go back until December......I am pretty close to my sweet spot right now. Maybe I will only need .25 this time?? But I need to see how much I lose in the next two weeks.........another five would be really nice~~ Oh off to spend the day with my girl.............

HEy Heather hang in there........... CPS did get 900,000 thousand restored. But that only save about 24 positions. We still lost over 100 people and lots of programs shut down. Including mine..... Overall we lost 14 million to and the 1 million just didn't cover much. We were supposed to get 3 million but last minute I think they had to give it back to another department so the funding fell through.................Everything is very chaotic right now.

Ok Riley so I am not the only one. I feel better getting some good sleep..............in some way this job is good it is forcing me to get up early and go to bed early....... got a case today a 4 year old with cancer. Getting chemo and needs morphine. Crazy dad forgets the morphine...........bad enough but when I go out the kid is in the hospital for swine flu too...................tomorrow I go out to see parents of a baby born positive for THC........this is crazy stuff!!

Welcome to all the new people!! :-) I am so outta touch lately!! I plan to be there on the 24th :-) I miss everyone. I am reading up every couple of days but just no energy to comment................ Donna would be so proud I am getting in my 9 hours of sleep every night. Going to bed by 9pm and up by 6am to head out...........Much better than my old 12am in bed and up by 7am.............I am starting to like going to bed early!! So let the weight fall off me now!! :-) Ok about 8 baby spoons of lentils and cheese and totally full..........I guess the sausages won't go down tonight. Problem is my stomach growls really loud all day but when I sit down to eat not much goes down..........I don't think I am still hungry but the growling is embarrassing. I am thinking protien shake or a protien shots too.................. Ok TMI I know but all this protien causes some digetive problems as in I can't go............even drinking 80 ounces of water and still can't go..............need to buy some benefiber...........Oh did I mention I am burned out on salad right now...........I don't like salad right now.........shocking...........I have this thing with protien that is the only thing that sounds good lately............I am weird I know...........!! Oh getting ready to head to bed!! Got my girl here with me and I want to chill with her before I go to bed at .........ah 9pm!! LOL ...........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Yep I hope once I know what I am doing I won't have to work so much and so late............the stupid 1 hour commute both ways is what is doing me in.............I am to tired when I get home to get online..........just clean things up and go to bed. Three day weekend coming up through.........geez I am just to old to start a new job. They are getting ready for more layoffs too in November.............I think I will be ok but January could be a problem...........

Ah why can't Donna do the walk?? I missed something. Is everything going ok?? Well I do have restriction but I am not losing real fast. I mean I can only eat a tiny amount of anything. I think I need to journal again. I think I am not eating enough again. But new job, tight band.........not feeling like eating to much. And it has been hot to...........but who knows I need to figure out if I am eating to little more to much........... I might not go back for a fill on the 29th. I think I am good like I am at 5.5CC's.......unless I lose alot I don't want to be tighter. This is tight but I can still get my water in............so...........I will email Dr. BAggs and see what he thinks............

Hey everyone..... Busy day in and out of hospitals all day!! I don't know about this job I am totally lost right now........... Lots of long hours so far. Tamra sorry about the lay off I totally hear ya. I might be back onthe chopping block in November. And I know I can't afford Cobra........... I have restriction. Boy do I have restriction. I don't want another fill on the 29th unless I losee alot. I really can't eat to much right now........stay full and if I stop in time I don't PB but can't eat alot at all.

Hello All I survived my first week!! Not sure yet what to think. I leave at 7am and get home at 6:00 so it has been crazy. But I think it will be ok...........

MOrning all!! Well said Reggie!! I totally agree. Maria: congrats My band is tight and I have restriction but the scale is not moving. I think/hope it will suddenly move by 5 or 6 pounds cause I haven't been eating much it or I get stuck. Gotta journal again........... Ok so off to the new job........so I lost all my pre approved vacation and my 9/80 and was told that this is NOT an 8-5 job most days!! I don't know how long I will be able to stay being a single mother..........but I am gonna try . If I can learn to work fast...........I hope I can keep the late hours to a minimum!! WEll see but still looking for other jobs too...........budget passes today and than final vote on friday..........I am hoping to go back to my old job if we get funding. The hours are better for being a single mother..........but hey holding on to this job until I find something better.......... :-) Not gonna let it go in this econonmy!!

Nicole google Domestic violence and the honeymoon stage.............you need to read up on things. They promise anything when they are trying to get your back!! Why didn't the police take him to jail? Did you have marks or bruises? Did the baby? Seriously I am not convinced he will follow through I think he is just saying what ya want to hear right now. CPS has either 2 hours or 10 days to respond. If they have not come out or called within 10 days your ok. But if thej police were out and took a report you will probably have CPS at your door in a few days...............I go out on DV stuff ALL THE TIME this is normal proceedure~ I used to be to able to look up names and could tell you if you have a referral in the system but we can't do that anymore.

Nicole you know I have been through this myself as well when my daughter was a baby.............she unfortunetly did see to much and she remembers!! I finally had to leave since I was working on me but he wasn't willing to work on him. Geez this all sounds way to familiar but if I can leave and make it as a single mom you can too........ Just do what is best for you and AUDS. Maybe if you leave he will finally get some help with some of the stuff he has to deal with............seriously though him following you and using AUDS crying to get to you......than this newest incident............he is esculating his behavior is getting a bit worse all the time..........what is next? Again I feel for MIke he is in a hard spot too...........but seriously I think you guys need a break.............AUDs will start to act up and won't sleep.............she is gonna starting acting out if you guys keep this up............ Call me!! WE need to talk...............geez how is your eating with all this crap going on?

Nicole girl you know I am gonna read this........... Don't panic but most of the time the police will make a CPS report when this happens so you might have CPS at your door in the next week. Yea I support you guys trying to work it out but if he is getting physical you need to get out. NOt saying it will never work out again but you need to be separated so you can each work on your own stuff for awhile. Here is the thing. If CPS comes out beat them to things and cover your bases. Be protective of AUDS and let them know your can protect her..........YOu might need to get a restraining order when you move out. CPS will make ya get one if this gets reported to CPS........... WEAVE also will let you and AUDS stay with at the shelter for a few days............pretty decent place I have been there before........seriously if you need any help let me know. AUDS can't be watching this. If she has any marks or bruises because of the fall they will call failure to protect ...........it they come out let me know. Hopefully the police won't report this but if they do they will refer you to WEAVE and him to anger management.........they may aske you to take AUDS and leave or ask you to file for custody............. Seriously girl we need to talk...........AUDS can't be watching this........but you already know that!!

Wow lots of new people!! We are growing............ This new job was ok. Sorta boring since they gave me the whole day to unpack. A couple of my co workers got assigned there with me so that was nice to know someone.........I ended up going to the old office to work all afternoon since they are short staffed and I had nothing to do.......... I am in training the whole week. So lots of relaxing and sitting around..........sorta a nice change from the last month. THan two weeks of following someone around watching them do visits!! LOL. I could teach someone how to do homevists but ok I will try this.................LOL. The nice things is a good friend of mine is in this office. She got RNY 18 months ago and has lost 156 pounds so far..........she is a work out diva so I have someone to walk with at lunch.............nice to have someone in the office that "gets it"...............I invited her to our support group!! Maybe in October........... I am happy to have someone in the office that gets it!! I might end up telling people since she has told people in the office and they are all supportive............who knows. Anyway do I like the new job. NOt realy but I will get used to it. I miss my co workers and my comfort zone..........but I figure in a month I will get used to it and be fine!! I was in Bandster hell by the second week Candra and Jes. So I hear ya.............right now I have restriction. I could use a tiny bit more. But I got stuck on crouton at lunch so I am feeling my band for sure right now.............lots of protien but I did have a brownie tonight...........darn I think my daughter has to take them to school cause they are to good..........but at least only one ...........more and they get stuck!! :-)

Wishing all a good week. Candra who is Kim??? I am so outta touch right now!!:-P

Oh went shopping today for my "new" job. I have to dress up more now..........****sigh****.........I was able to get out of Lane Bryant and go to the Limited and New York and COmpany my old stomping grounds..........I am in XL and 14/16 so I barely make it but found some things that fit.......... Also went to VS and got new bras. Seems I have been wearing the wrong size I went down two sized but didn't realize it. Candra my cup size is the same but the band has gone down two sizes!! So I don't know if I can offer you much home of shrinking that ladies..........LOL So Ladies I start this darn new job tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it!! I hate starting over again.....and geez right back to the office was was working at 8 years ago. I have come full circle now!! Gearing up for a long commute tomorrow..........I hope I like this new job. My program manager and supervisor pulled me aside on Friday before I left my office and the PM told me that she wants me to come back once the dust settles and some positions open up!! I told her I am coming back as a supervisor next time!! LOL. She told me she could see that happening..............I am hoping in the next six months to be back up closer to my home and back with my coworkers who had enough senority to stay............. Still traumatized by the craziness of the last month. ...........trying to recover!! Did I say I HATE starting new jobs!! I just want to get back to the routine and have some sanity in my life.......... BOS meets this week and if they approve funding I might get pulled back to my old job in two weeks. For now I am working with babies born with drugs in their system and with medically neglected children so off to the hospitals I go. Please pray for me that I don't let my bad attitude about my employer blurt out tomorrow...................cause I am so pissed off right now about how messed up the last month has been!!

Hey Everyone I missed you all yesterday. First one I have missed since April 2009. It will be a long month until the next one!! :-( So sad I missed getting to meet the new people and yep once a month is not enough. Everyone is looking great!! And Candra loving you in dresses!! Nicole and Pam you girls must be at goal your looking so thin. Jes I hope that green goes away. Everyone else so sorry I missed out ........next time!! So this fill is starting to work. I am down 2 pounds. Weird thing is I have been able to eat bread now......I had a vege burger (with wheat bun) today and it goes down fine now. Granted I only could eat a 1/3 of it and gave the rest to my daughter. But the thing with bread is over now as long as I only take a few bites it works!! Not sure if that is good or bad yet!! I didn't feel my fill all all until late yesterday and I got the fill on Thursday. So we will see where I am in a couple of weeks and TOM. But at this point I could use just a bit more of a fill cause I get hungry to soon. But I can't eat more than 1/2 a cup at this point without getting stuck. So far no PB's but i am stopping as soon as I get that "feeling" no more bites once I "feel" my band and no PB'ing for over a month now............ I am very close to my sweet spot I think...............

I won't be there this time ..........I am headed up to Tahoe. Just need a break from regular life before I start my new job. THis last week just about did me in and yesterday was hard...........so we are headed up the hill to see family!! Next month I will be there. Love ya guys and Nicole I agree with Jes you really need to go especially now when things are so hard!! Don't isolate and I am telling myself the same thing I know i have been isolating a bit and I plan to correct that cause it is hurting me........hard to stay on track without a support system in place.