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skinny vanilla latte and veggie sausages so far..........headache still so not to hungry. Cleaning out my closet and have a bag of 18/20s for this weekends meeting. Glad everyone had fun last night at Pams still sad I didn't get to come!!

Ah he is a great doctor Tamra you will be fine!! I just worry about you having your daughter on Thursday. If I lived closer I could take her for you for a day. I had a hard time with a teenager...........and ah yea the cats!!! OMG the cats!! My kitten hit my port every darn time she jumped...........I could see it coming but I couldn't move fast enough to avoid the impact!! I sleep in a recliner for 2 weeks..........bed was to hard to get in a out of. Heating pad...........loved my heating pad for sure. You gonna be really tired Tamra. I was wiped out tired for a couple of weeks. Found out from RObin Dr. Baggs put in my chart I would taste meat!!!! That is so funny. The things they put in the charts I never knew...........Robin said she knew it was not true!! LOL!!

Tamra I see Dr. Baggs the day before your surgery I will tell him to get a good nights sleep for ya!! After I get my lecture for gaining weight............sigh I sorta deserve it :-( Miss you all tonight. I love my girl and the music is nice but I really want to see you all it has been to long!!!

Tamra I live in Antelope but in Carmichael tonight at my daughters school.They have a music program tonight. Listen to that pre surgery CD that really helped me relax. I am the worlds biggest stressor if I can go through with it you can too............Dr. Baggs is great he will calm you down when you see him!!

I think I am out. Michaela's ride to the school function cancelled. I am trying to figure out if I can drop her off get down there and than back in time. I have had a migraine all day but I was gonna come anyway. If I make it I am sure I will be lated. I really wanted/needed to come.........really disappointted. IF I lived closer I would at least come and drop off the food!!

No I don't get offended easy. I am just trying hard NOT to be in teh 35%. Jes I sorta get the frustration about how other people get fills so fast and lose so fast. I don't get all the slow fills.........well for me.........but still alot of people go in every two weeks until they hit the sweet spot. We don't do that. Stress at work I am tired.

Haiti is a mess..............really sad!! Yep one nail off. You have to wear this thing on your hand the day of surgery...........also no nail polish.

I agree that Kaiser has a good program but personal choice still accounts for success in the end................ For me I educated myself before orientation down to researching all four doctors and band types ect. So when I went to orienatation it was all old news. But there were so many people in the orientation that knew absolutely nothing and didn't reallyt seem to have a clue. Many just referred by there doctor and a few got up and left in the middle. I think there is your 35%' For me I agree the rules are important but how your present them to me is also important. But again I am probably the exception since I walk in prepared and ready to discuss the issues. Last time I saw Dr. Baggs we talked about the newest lap band research in Australia. I don't think I am in the 35% but have I struggled with the band. Yep but I also am down 55 so I still consider myself a success. I just want the band to get me to 150 still. But success is defined by 50% of your weight loss I am really close to that............... But for me if I cheat I tell them. I self analyze myself before they can. I know where I am week and tell them. I am accountable even when I know I won't get a fill.......LOL. I just don't want to feel talked down to when I not hiding anything. If I am gonna tell it all and put it all out there I want respect back. Tell me I am wrong but give me some ideas and choices and than let me choose what to do. Ok, ok I am a social worker and have found people don't change very often but when they do it is their choice. Not becuase I made rules and forced them on them. It is usually because I gave then choices explianed the conseqeunces and than let then loose to chose what to do. If you make a good choice on your own accord you tend to stick with it better.' I think Kaiser needs a good way to screen people better at orientation. Once someone really buys into the program they seem to do well. But again that is a choice too................. I also told Robin to call me in two weeks to check up on me because I know I need to do that right now. But it was my choice not something I had to do. I totally like the help if the approach is right............. But again if I was in the 30% I would probably need someone to mother me and get on my back a bit more. I guess that is why if your taking responsibility you have to let them know what works best for you................ I am a rebel if you try to force something I don't do well. If you let me know what you want from me and let me chose than I do better. The rebel in me.................. but I saw so many people going through Kaiser that I knew were not ready even the day of surgery...........you just have to listen to the way they talk...........trying to tell me how to cheat pre op..........right before the pre op class..........LOL

lacto ovo. I eat eggs, milk..........dairy and even chicken and beef broth. Yea Pam we need support. I think there is an element of control with Kaiser that they like to hold onto. IF we bring in all kinds of advice and opinions than we have to weigh the options and make a choice what WE feel is right for us. IF we only consult with Kaiser than they get to remain in control. Good if your need a consistent routine. BUt if you don't getting various options and opinions and ways of doing things and chosing what is best for you is more realistic. Just all goes back to treat me like an adult and give me my options than let me make my own choices and live with the consequences. I do better with choices....I don't need a mama. But granted some people do better with that. I think like with Pam when she told the staff how she wanted to be treated they loosened up on her a bit. I did the same thing this week and feel like I can buy into the program again. Candra I like Liz too. She is tough but she gets it and she goes deeper into issues. I can tell she is a woman who has been around and has seen alot. And I am guessing she probably been through alot. She has an inner wisdom and no not rude and very funny............she also used to work in a cancer center if my research is correct that says something.

Well I think Kaiser has to decide if they want us to have a support group or whether they want to take control and be the support group..............that is what it boils down to. Liz told me the same thing but I see it two ones one that maybe they don't think we are smart enough to figure out who to listen to and not to and the other way is that if we are on the site than they lost a bit of the control over the diet and rules they put out by use being educated by the masses........... Again I have to agree alot of people going through all this come in with a totally clean slate. I had research so much I could even talk latest research studies and the pros and cons of each type and band and method of surgery...........LOL. So maybe I get offended when I am not the normal patient. I am sure I know who to belive and who not to believe ya know..........and we all cheat her and there and we don't post that to brag about sneaking around but to be accountable. So maybe if you have no brain and are easily brain washed you should stay away from this site.............LOL. That would be like telling an alcoholic no AA meetings!! Man I have alot of opinions lately and I am trying to chill out a bit!!! :-) I think the site is a GOOD thing. Lifts me up doesn't pull me down.

YEa I think we all probably know what Liz said but you gonna have to posti it now. Did you see Dr. Baggs today than?? If she is reading she already saw what you posted now anyway.......... Who did she say something to before about the site? Hmm that you can't believe everything we say or something like that?? Riley I always say a guy that moves to fast leaves just as fast. This guys swooped in to fast and now he is doing the typical fight or flight thing. Read the Peter Pan Syndrome that will explain some things............another book too about men with commitment problems and one warning sign is that they move in two quick and it gets intense fast than they burn out and get scared and take off. Just be careful. Heather when you gonna see the doc?? Weren't you gonna try to get the weight loss waived? Also are you are you hearing about layoffs. We just heard another round next month via email today. 30 MSW and 3 supervisors is what we hear this way!! Yuck had this going back to the BOS ever six months for budget updates.......... Pam I might now be able to come. I am trying. My daughter has a school thing at 5pm too. Trying to figure out how much it lowers her grade is she doesn't go. So darn unfair. I might get another parent to take her.....I am tired of not being able to hang with you guys........seems darn unfair!! LOL. I am working on trying to get all my bases covered...... Tamra spill the beans!!

NOt sure how much the band would let me gain before I got good restriction but I am thinking 10-15 pounds and instant restriction. So hopefully that is good for when we get to goal that we won't be able to go up much in weight without the band reminding us to slow it down..........

But it turned out ok cause I got to vent some and yep I admitted the bread. Robin knows I can't eat bread with a good fill so she said problem with taking the Fluid out is that people go back to being able to eat everything again and that is dangerous. Yep it is......................I told her wheat bread and toasted but the band is suppose to prevent the breads I guess and right now I have to resist. One good thing still 5 up today and the band is slowing tightening. SO.............that probably means if I were to gain anything more I would tighten up and that is a good thing. Cause that means the band will only let me gain a small amount before it kicks in. Sorta a safety net. I am doing liguids the rest of the week I want the 5 gone and if I could another 5.............I know, I know.......but at least be the same weight as 6 weeks ago..............down .9 this morning

Yep Riley good stuff. One reason I am trying to step back and not focus so much on the darn scale it becomes an unhealthy obsession for me. I want to lose still but not by worrying so much about how fast. I had a good talk with Robin this week. And told her EVERYTHING and she agreed with me some of my weight gain is the band is to loose. But they don't want me in the ER again so I told her they have to be ok with me going slow.. Cause when I am hungry I am gonna eat. Something good but I am gonna eat. I didn't do this to be miserable all the time. I told her I am thinking the band was not a good choice for me and about the sleeve. They still want me to try which I knew they would. LOL. I just told her I won't eat meat even if that means I fail and she understands and I told her I was frustrated. Anyway same stuff I tell you guys...... I told her some about the whole journaling with feelings and she liked that. I gave you alot of credit Riley Jane~~Or course she won't admit she knows you :-) Anyway she said I was doing everything right and she will talke to Dr. Baggs about what they can do.........ya no fill but like WHEN and how fast can I get fills............so I am going to see Dr. Baggs so we can figure out what to do from here. But ya I guess my appointments weren't cancelled I guess they wanted to check in with me before they cancelled which I didn't know and probably won't have agreed to. I am not one to hide things though. I say the truth the good, bad and ugly. Once they get me on the phone I put it all out there. First words of my mouth were I am fed up with the whole thing and not sure I wanna schedule fills until I can think about what is the utlimate goal here for us as a team....... Ok, ok.......probably way to much of my mouth but that is me. I probably didn't need to be on the phone with anyone that day!!! Tamra whats yor date???

I was told 500 co pay for surgery but it actually turned out to be 15 dollars...........double check ash

Dr Oz says wellbutrin is suppose to address head hunger. But Celexa has a good rep for no weight gain..........ah yea right if you have restriction!! :-P

Candra I am using Alli and have been for the last month since my restriction is down. Didn't say anything cause I am so sure Kaiser won't like it. It does take the fat out and if you eat to much fat your SO, SO gonna know it. Very expensive in my opinion. I do better with restriction than Alli but I am using it until I get restriction again. if you eat fat you get a terrible case of oily runs and you better be close to a restroom..............makes you NOT want to eat fat cause you will have an embarrassing problem. Lot of yellow, oily stools if you don't follow the run. Even salad dressing got me once......... I don't think I would tell Kaiser about it though...... Special K loaf ladies..........not lentil. But lentil loaf is good too. Canolie eat the lentils plain they are SO, SO yummy!! Or with cottage cheese and up the protien!! Ok so it sounds like you all want Special K loaf so I will bring that!! I did post the recipe probably about 100 pages back but I will bring it with me.

Tamra no sodium or carbs and water..............but don't drink a ton of water just before you go in!! LOL. I stop drinking anything by 9pm the night before. Just me. Oh I also have a skinny vanilla latte decaf on the way to weigh in appointments.......to clean me out!! TMI, TMI I know but it works for me............you will like Liz at the CM appointment she was really nice and talkative. I miss seeing Liz around now post op. She is someone I could work with cause she is a mix of hard but she also gets stuff pretty easy.............

I am taking a shower tonight than!! I am not getting a fill but I am going for accountability and to check in. I am hoping that instead of 6 weeks between appointments if I check in I can go back in a month. I think they will schedule the next one right there. So that is part of the reason.......... Robin said she will try to get me in sooner than ever 6 weeks. So if I work with her than maybe it will speed things up. I am switching breakfast and dinner for the next two weeks to see how that goes..............eat my big meal in the morning. And yep no more oatmeal or yogurt Pat you were so right. Still up 5 pounds today...........grrrr. Funny thing is my band is work a bit better today with the 5 pounds :-) Not stopping anything but I sorta feel it down there today. Nicollie.......I used to get terrible heartburn before the band. No I never get it. But hmm.........the sleeve and heartburn. Gotta research that a bit............I had terrible heartburn. I will tell you never have heartburn now except the days I was to tight and had the flu. The day after surgery the heartburn was GONE!!! Something to look forward to. The band cured my heartburn for sure. Dr. Baggs said that happens alot............... Ok well I am at work and have to sign off. I can bring whatever on Saturday guys. let me know??

Oh Pam no email for me yet but I will post what Dr. Oz says about wellbutrin.........made me want to trade for that one!! Great WL drug..........for head hunger. Maybe tomorrow I will get an email too!!! Tell me how it goes!!

Thanks Heather. I am going to see the doc next week I tried to cancel my appointments but got talked back into doing them............I am going to have a check in not necessarly a fill. But check ins are important............ I still feel overwhelmed but ok I will go and I did tell the nutr how I felt and we talk almost an hour. I still want to give it a bit of a break but I will check in with them Pat no way will I give up on the good eating or diet :-) Just the stupid stress over the scale everyday.......... Heather did you meet with Dr. Fischer yet??? YOu should be up next!! Canolli and Tamra I knew you could do it!! :-) It flies from here!! Don't let my negetive attitude discourage you from moving forward. MOre good than bad with the band I assure ya!!

Ok I am going to see the doc next week. Long story but I will post later. I also had my nutrition appointment by dafault today. SOmeone forgot to cancell the appointments. They know I am up five pounds but I talked for about an hour and everything has been put on the table. I will go next week to check in since it has been since NOvember since I had a check in. To tired to post details but I will later. I will be back on tomorrow!! :-)

I still plan to be online and to keep up with everyone. I am not giving up just chilling out. Once they give out the pink slips at work some of the stress will be gone and I can refocus just on the weight loss thing and band again. Right now I have alot going on. I also was told that my FMLA is out and any trips to San Fransico or days off for medical are on vaction time. Right now is not a good time to be taking alot of time off ...................I want to look like I am really working hard about now!!! LOL. Can we say forloughs are better than layoffs!!! :-) My opinion!! Pam what do you think?? But ya not trying to be totally negetive just doing what I think I need to do right now. I don't like to feel like I have to get approval that is a trap for me. I would rather chill out and do in in my own time than come around later and get my fill when it doesn't feel like a power struggle. That puts me in a bad state of mind.............I need to get my perspective back.

Thanks Maria I do think the detox is a good idea. Been working on that. Got rid of salads and only drinking water. Oatmeal went today but sometimes that will mean I don't eat breakfast. Thinking I will drink a protien shake before bed tonight. Yea adding in the protien shakes will slow my weight loss and maybe stall it but I think that might be better than having to get up to eat at night. Truly I am eating good things just to much. I just need to give it a break for awhile. Maybe if I am not trying so hard it will come easier........this is starting to feel like to much stress and work so I am relaxing a bit. :-) But I feel better cancelling the appointments and waiting it out on my own time table. Feeling so much better today I was to stressed out worrying about the appointments today and next week. I am not ready to go back right now.......... If I get laid off I do and I can't worry about what happens with the band. That has been stressing me out too. Trying to lose fast enough to keep ahead of my insurance. I am at the point where it is just whatever happens..........ya know!! True I guess negetive talk but I just feel better now that I made the decision to chill out a bit. I am sure the Doc will have some advice or some direction I should head. I told Kelly today about losing my insurance and it is true nor more fills. So I just have to be ok with that and quit trying to rush and get enough fills before..... And who know I might not get laid off until July and that give me more time to work on things. But ya seriously I am looking into the sleeve but not right away. Just something more long term...........I think it might be easier to not have all the follow up when the economy is so crazy and I think you don't deal with getting to tight but I am researching that right now. LOL. But I think being positive is easier without putting all this pressure on myself to rush, rush, rush...............and to hurry up and lose. I want to be 180 or lower that is now about 25 more pounds. My Goal is to get back to 199 and than I would be happy just staying there for awhile......than hoping down five at a time until I get to 180. I don't think I am gonna try for a fill until I get to 180 first. That is sorta where my thinking is for now..............I just need to be ok with going alot slower and not stressing it :-) The good thing is the band is still there and when I am ready again I can use it :-) At least I don't have to earn that again!! That is already mine!! I am glad I am post op for sure!!!

Congrats Nicollie feels good huh?? Hey Pam yea I want Wellbutrin too and am gonna ask. The celexa is NOT suppose to make you gain though. I just read up on it. BUt ya know my weight loss did slow down around than...but I think stress does it to ya too. And I was stressed out alot about than. I will let you know if I get switched. also like you thinking of stopping to see if I lose faster. But with layoffs coming up this month again not sure that is a great idea right now.... Let me know what your doc says. I just need a break from all this earning a fill thing. It is to stressful I am gonna go at my own pace and in my own time. I can't buy into earning a fill and won't play the trying to win approval so my doc will get a good report...........believe what I say or don't but if I don't feel like we are talking adult to adult I won't participate. Candra serious girl how did you get around those appointments and the rules!! LOL. You watch next it will be me who doesn't have to do the appointments :-) I plan to make my point somewhere along the line!!