voiceomt2002

Hi Angie! I feel your pain. Okay, I actually feel my pain. I'd forgotten how much being fat hurt. Just more incentive to choose health. Funny thing, it's easier this time. I choose to grill out, not because it's tastier (which it is) and cheaper (which it is) but because I like it. Not so much in this oppressive heat with the mosquito squadrons filing flight plans with the FAA, but even then this is more fun and less work. I'm loving being single again. I choose to date when it pleases me, and anyone who can't see past this temporary weight gain isn't worth a second date. I've already had one guy tell me somewhat bluntly that he doesn't want to date anyone overweight. (Funny, he's sporting quite a few extra pounds, too.) At first, I was a bit hurt, but then I became more and more amused at his shallowness and hypocrisy. I don't want those traits in my life, so his name was scratched from the "amusing" list. I have standards, and he just fell below the bar. The things I find fun are an equal mix of solitary and social, so if I find someone to share those amusements, I'll find them where the fun stuff is already. (Lifting my glass of water and toasting) Here's to choosing to have fun, be healthy, and take control of that which we once thought uncontrollable. Here's to loving life.

Just a short note. Who knows when I'll get back to this. I've gained weight since my DH's death. I won't blame anyone else but myself. I had a long talk with my therapist and we finally hit upon the catchphrase that seems to define how I'll lose all this weight-- I CHOOSE. I'm a control freak whose life spiraled out of control the day my poor Randy died. Since then, I've made decisions where I felt there was no other option. For over a year, I had to decide based on bad vs good, not which one suited me. Finally, my therapist (Dr Marty Groble, for those in the Jacksonville area) pointed out that what went into my mouth was one of the few things I had a direct choice in making. Well, my Band-Buds, it was an epiphany. There was my point of control, and I've been reveling in it for a couple of weeks. I've lost five pounds because I can look at the chocolate vs the peach and say "I choose the peach because I choose health." I have chosen to start walking again when possible. I've chosen to begin quilting again rather than sit on my butt playing mindless computer games. I've made so many choices, I'm smiling again. Even the house I had to move into when Randy's death forced me into foreclosure is no longer a point of resentment and negativity. I've chosen to make it work rather than move to something less congenial if prettier. Sure, this is a 2-bedroom house 30 miles from my job. It's in a gorgeous neighborhood with a park, as familiar and comfortable as my favorite pair of blue jeans, and it's cheap. I can have my pets here. An apartment close to my work would cost $200 more a month and we'd have to get rid of our pets. "We??" you ask? Yep, we. That gent who gave me the pearl ring? I chose not to marry him, but we're a happy pair of roommates. I chose him, too. Lena

Wow, has it really been eight months since I last posted here? So much has changed since then... On December 12, 2010, my DH and I went to the storage shed out back and pulled out the holiday lights to decorate the house. Unknown to us, a certain mold entered my DH's lungs because he was a lifelong smoker. Aspergillosis has a 95% mortality rate. It took my poor darling until January 2, 2011 to die in ICU. Thanks to the outpouring of love and support from my family and friends, I was able to not only pay for his funeral but also live until I could find work. In late January, I went to see my primary care doctor to ask for anti-depressants. Before my banding, I'd been on the same prescription, so I figured this would be a quick visit. It would not be. The physician's assistant asked me if I'd ever considered suicide. I answered yes, because before my banding I had. Then she asked if I knew what method I'd choose if I did. I answered yes again because I'm a writer, and we research everything. I didn't know it at that moment, but I'd sealed my fate. I found myself incarcerated in a mental ward for 72 hours observation. Here in Florida, it's called "being Baker Acted." Have you ever been locked up in a psych ward when you're not in need of it? By the end of the three days, you'll need to be there. They nearly broke me, and I don't mind admitting it. If it hadn't been for the visits of a dear family friend named David, it's quite possible they might have succeeded. One of the reasons I'd been depressed was my difficulty in finding a job. I've been a housewife for a long time. Finally, I got the call. On what would have been our 30th anniversary, I entered training to become a customer service representative. To celebrate my return to the work force, David asked to take me to a local Medieval Faire. I happily accepted. When I admired a pearl ring, he bought it and slipped it on my finger. He said, "I know it's rude, but I can't wait any longer. Lena, I've loved you from afar for twenty years, but I didn't want to disturb your happy marriage. I know it's too soon to answer, but will you consider marrying me in a year or two, when you're ready?" I have agreed to think about it, and I'll give him an answer next New Year's Eve.

Hi Alex! I'm still around. I've had my ups and downs, including the death of my beloved husband. I gained about 30 lbs, sitting in that ICU room hoping and praying for the miracle that never came. It's been a struggle, but I've lost all but a few pounds of those I gained. Having a new job and no longer having the luxury of being a housewife made a huge difference. I'm still officially 50 lbs away from my goal weight, but I'm very pleased with my weight loss and the way I feel. You see, my early struggles with my band saved my life. I quit smoking and began exercising as part of the regimen to be accepted by my surgeon for getting a band. In December 2010, my husband had a particularly bad mold invade his lungs. Aspergillosis is very contagious and very deadly, with a 95% mortality rate. Had I still been a smoker, there would have been two graves instead of one. I was healthy and fit, thanks to my band. Strangely enough, my band had little to do with what has happened recently. A man I've known for years invited me to an outdoor event in February. While we enjoyed ourselves, he took me aside and begged my forgiveness, but he couldn't be silent any longer. He'd loved me for many years, but had respected my marriage too much to speak. He said he wouldn't expect me to answer for at least a year, but he hoped I might consider him as a new spouse after I felt ready to stop mourning. He placed a pearl ring on my finger as a vow that he would wait until I was ready to answer. So, that's my update. Life goes on, even when Murphy throws you a curve ball. Lena

Hi Metime. Guess Photobucket had an issue. Just email me privately with a list. Say, up to five at a time. I'm happy to share.

I used to be a stress eater. I'd suck down anything in my path like a Hoover whenever stress struck. Only a month and a half after my surgery, my DH lost his job. For six months, we struggled while he desperately searched for work. Finally, for six months we thought he had a good job, but the economy hit us in the face again, and he lost that job too. My DH now has a "long term temp" job. It's something. During all that stress, I had to keep working. I'm a writer, and that means I work at home. It's even more difficult to meet a deadline or stay on a strict food regimen when there's a bored, depressed man around. Even though I can only write for a few hours a day before my brain explodes, he still made my work difficult with constant interruptions. Needless to say, at first I learned to get around the band. No I won't tell you how. Just accept it can be done. When I stopped losing weight, I knew I had to find an alternative to eating. What did I do when there was no money for extras? I became a stress quilter. I belong to a quilting guild, and one of their main functions is to make quilts for charity. When I couldn't afford fabric, I could always ask the guild member in charge for another quilt set to make for charity. At one point I had two sets running simultaneously! Anyway, my point is that if you were a stress eater before surgery, you'll still be one after surgery unless you find alternative means of handling stress. Clean house, garden, take up a craft, or train for a marathon. Whatever you choose to do to handle stress. Like it or not in this world, stress happens. I've been forced to get very good at handling stress. I've quilted, embroidered, sculpted polymer clay, and walked off nearly 100 lbs from when I stepped on the scale at my PCP's and nearly fainted to learn I was 297 lbs. Now at 198, I've still got a way to go, but I'm closer than I've been in 25 years. DH has a job. We still have our house, and now I've got to go mow the lawn. I'm happy to do it, considering I once was in a wheelchair because of my weight. :thumbup:

Boy, this is no time to get cocky! I'm in One-der-land, but I have to admit I was overly confident and stopped watching my carbs. OUCH!! One week of that, and I was 201 lbs! Yep, I raced back to my food journal and started keeping track, measuring, and being a good little bandster. Whew!! Back in One-der-Land and moving toward that goal in the distance. This ain't easy! I'd allowed myself too many carbs, and now my body craves them again. I am a carb addict, and I will always be a carb addict. Now if I can just fight the urge to get a birthday cake for myself at the end of this month. How about kielbasa and grilled veggies instead? Yeah, that'll work.

Hooray and congratulations!! Welcome to the Century Club. I've still another 50 lbs to go before doc says I've lost enough. Heck, I'd be happy to stop right now. I'm sharing clothes with my youngest daughter! LOL!

Once there was a woman named Alice who fell down a spiraling hole of guilt and shame while following an elusive White Rabbit of Beauty. She discovered a magical place called One-der-land, though at first it seemed a place of madness and horror. I'll occasionally recount (not in chronological order because this is a place of madness, after all, at least to Alice) some of her adventures. Alice landed at the bottom of the Shame Spiral in tears, her body shattered by so many years of abuse, both from within Alice herself and from others, who felt she didn't deserve anything. She wondered if she'd ever be able to get up, but she managed to heave herself erect and walk, still hoping for another glimpse of the beautiful White Rabbit. Alice had to rest often, and had trouble breathing, but the path seemed familiar somehow, as if she'd traveled upon it or at least seen it many times. Her feet swelled, her knees hurt, and upon occasion she considered just lying down at the side of the path and becoming another one of the many grave markers just visible through the thorny bushes. Still, something inside her refused to allow her to give up. She had to keep fighting. Finally, an angel in a white coat smiled at her. "You've been approved. Step forward. Your new journey can begin. At the end of your time here, you will see the White Rabbit if you are patient and work hard." In a clearing sat a man wearing another white coat, but this man was unlike any other she'd ever seen. In his own charming way, he was handsome, and his eyes were kind. He invited her to sit and rest at his table, where a fascinating array of things were laid out. Some were gruesome body parts in frames or on pedestals. Some were the familiar diet protein shakes she'd starved herself with many times. Other things were not easy to describe and made no sense. Her handsome new friend tried desperately to make himself understood. Alice leaned forward, for he seemed so earnestly trying to explain something important, but though he spoke English soon his words were gibberish, and Alice knew in her heart it was her fault she couldn't understand him anymore. What she had understood was that he would help her, if she would obey the rules of One-der-land. He'd given her a few, and told her she must discover the rest for herself. All would be revealed to her slowly, allowing her to adjust to this new and frightening world. Then the man vanished, and Alice was left alone wondering what to do next. A cheerful fairy peeked in. Her bright eyes and sleek figure made Alice very envious, but she was so sweet and charming, Alice couldn't stay angry with her for long. The fairy danced up to Alice. "Hi! My name is Locarb! I just know we're going to be friends!" Now Alice was very suspicious. She'd heard of Locarb fairies, and they could be very vicious, even expensive, to keep as friends. Alice narrowed her eyes. "Are you going to make me buy ridiculously expensive things I don't know how to use, limit me, and put me in a very narrow box?" Locarb's laugh was the tinkle of bells! "No, no! That's what happens when YOU limit ME!" The fairy reached into her basket and pulled out a white mound of something creamy, covered in a brightly colored sauce, served in a small bowl. "Here, I'll prove myself. This treat is for you. This magical treat will keep you from being naughty and disobeying the Lord and Master, whom you just met. You may only have this once a day, so choose wisely when you have it." Alice looked longingly at the white creamy stuff, served so very prettily. It looked like the evil poisons that had made her addicted and ill. Her body craved those poisons like an alcoholic craved liquor, and so she feared them all. She sniffed it cautiously. "I smell raspberries...and cream." Locarb nodded, her cute blonde curls bobbing. "Yes. I assure you, you can have this. I'll allow you to have this early today, just to show my good intentions." Her fingers shook, but Alice licked her lips and took a tiny taste. Raspberry and something like cheesecake exploded on her tongue and slid down her throat like ambrosia from the gods. Alice's eyes filled with tears. She put the spoon back in the bowl and pushed it all aside. She sobbed. "I can't have things like this! They're poisoning me. Please, take it away before I gulp it all down! I'm already sick from things like this. It's too delicious and wonderful for evil creatures like me." The fairy picked up the spoon and put it back in Alice's hand. "Yes, you can have it. Trust me. It's expensive in calories, but there are only 8 carbs in this treat, and it will keep you from wanting the poisons you have been eating. Now, enjoy your treat. I will help you, if you let me." "Okay, but it's your fault if I get fatter." Alice sniffled, and ate all the contents of the bowl slowly, savoring every drop. When she went too fast, the fairy tugged at her hand until she slowed down. Finally, the bowl was empty. Alice waited for the horrible sugar rush that temporarily gave her energy, then sent her crashing to the earth with less than she'd had before. The rush never came. In fact, she felt...good. "Oh my! What was that?" Locarb leaned close. "The legend of no desserts in One-der-land is false, and always has been. However, like all treasures, it must be sought and enjoyed wisely. This is your first weapon in the war against the addiction that has poisoned you all your life." She pressed a small piece of paper in Alice's hand. "Use it wisely and well, or it will do you no good!" Locarb's Creamy Treat 2 servings 400 calories/ 8 carbs 1 block of cream cheese 2 T. Splenda 2 T. milk, cream, or half-n-half 2 T. any sugar-free syrup such as Torani or daVinci (see links) per serving Open the cream cheese package and drop the cream cheese into the bowl of your food processor. Add the Splenda and cream. Whirl, using a spatula at least once to get the creamy mix off the sides of the bowl if necessary, until the substance is light and fluffy. Place in a small sherbet bowl. Pour sugar-free syrup over each serving, as desired. Eat slowly. Copyright: Lena Austin 2010 Do not distribute without direct written permission from the author. ::NOTE-- the opinions and ideas expressed in this blog are my own, and opinions are like anuses. We all have them and they all stink. Except mine, which smells like roses.

Once there was a woman named Alice who fell down a spiraling hole of guilt and shame while following an elusive White Rabbit of Beauty. She discovered a magical place called One-der-land, though at first it seemed a place of madness and horror. I'll occasionally recount (not in chronological order because this is a place of madness, after all, at least to Alice) some of her adventures. Alice landed at the bottom of the Shame Spiral in tears, her body shattered by so many years of abuse, both from within Alice herself and from others, who felt she didn't deserve anything. She wondered if she'd ever be able to get up, but she managed to heave herself erect and walk, still hoping for another glimpse of the beautiful White Rabbit. Alice had to rest often, and had trouble breathing, but the path seemed familiar somehow, as if she'd traveled upon it or at least seen it many times. Her feet swelled, her knees hurt, and upon occasion she considered just lying down at the side of the path and becoming another one of the many grave markers just visible through the thorny bushes. Still, something inside her refused to allow her to give up. She had to keep fighting. Finally, an angel in a white coat smiled at her. "You've been approved. Step forward. Your new journey can begin. At the end of your time here, you will see the White Rabbit if you are patient and work hard." In a clearing sat a man wearing another white coat, but this man was unlike any other she'd ever seen. In his own charming way, he was handsome, and his eyes were kind. He invited her to sit and rest at his table, where a fascinating array of things were laid out. Some were gruesome body parts in frames or on pedestals. Some were the familiar diet protein shakes she'd starved herself with many times. Other things were not easy to describe and made no sense. Her handsome new friend tried desperately to make himself understood. Alice leaned forward, for he seemed so earnestly trying to explain something important, but though he spoke English soon his words were gibberish, and Alice knew in her heart it was her fault she couldn't understand him anymore. What she had understood was that he would help her, if she would obey the rules of One-der-land. He'd given her a few, and told her she must discover the rest for herself. All would be revealed to her slowly, allowing her to adjust to this new and frightening world. Then the man vanished, and Alice was left alone wondering what to do next. A cheerful fairy peeked in. Her bright eyes and sleek figure made Alice very envious, but she was so sweet and charming, Alice couldn't stay angry with her for long. The fairy danced up to Alice. "Hi! My name is Locarb! I just know we're going to be friends!" Now Alice was very suspicious. She'd heard of Locarb fairies, and they could be very vicious, even expensive, to keep as friends. Alice narrowed her eyes. "Are you going to make me buy ridiculously expensive things I don't know how to use, limit me, and put me in a very narrow box?" Locarb's laugh was the tinkle of bells! "No, no! That's what happens when YOU limit ME!" The fairy reached into her basket and pulled out a white mound of something creamy, covered in a brightly colored sauce, served in a small bowl. "Here, I'll prove myself. This treat is for you. This magical treat will keep you from being naughty and disobeying the Lord and Master, whom you just met. You may only have this once a day, so choose wisely when you have it." Alice looked longingly at the white creamy stuff, served so very prettily. It looked like the evil poisons that had made her addicted and ill. Her body craved those poisons like an alcoholic craved liquor, and so she feared them all. She sniffed it cautiously. "I smell raspberries...and cream." Locarb nodded, her cute blonde curls bobbing. "Yes. I assure you, you can have this. I'll allow you to have this early today, just to show my good intentions." Her fingers shook, but Alice licked her lips and took a tiny taste. Raspberry and something like cheesecake exploded on her tongue and slid down her throat like ambrosia from the gods. Alice's eyes filled with tears. She put the spoon back in the bowl and pushed it all aside. She sobbed. "I can't have things like this! They're poisoning me. Please, take it away before I gulp it all down! I'm already sick from things like this. It's too delicious and wonderful for evil creatures like me." The fairy picked up the spoon and put it back in Alice's hand. "Yes, you can have it. Trust me. It's expensive in calories, but there are only 8 carbs in this treat, and it will keep you from wanting the poisons you have been eating. Now, enjoy your treat. I will help you, if you let me." "Okay, but it's your fault if I get fatter." Alice sniffled, and ate all the contents of the bowl slowly, savoring every drop. When she went too fast, the fairy tugged at her hand until she slowed down. Finally, the bowl was empty. Alice waited for the horrible sugar rush that temporarily gave her energy, then sent her crashing to the earth with less than she'd had before. The rush never came. In fact, she felt...good. "Oh my! What was that?" Locarb leaned close. "The legend of no desserts in One-der-land is false, and always has been. However, like all treasures, it must be sought and enjoyed wisely. This is your first weapon in the war against the addiction that has poisoned you all your life." She pressed a small piece of paper in Alice's hand. "Use it wisely and well, or it will do you no good!" Locarb's Creamy Treat 2 servings 400 calories/ 8 carbs 1 block of cream cheese 2 T. Splenda 2 T. milk, cream, or half-n-half 2 T. any sugar-free syrup such as Torani or daVinci (see links) per serving Open the cream cheese package and drop the cream cheese into the bowl of your food processor. Add the Splenda and cream. Whirl, using a spatula at least once to get the creamy mix off the sides of the bowl if necessary, until the substance is light and fluffy. Place in a small sherbet bowl. Pour sugar-free syrup over each serving, as desired. Eat slowly. Copyright: Lena Austin 2010 Do not distribute without direct written permission from the author. ::NOTE-- the opinions and ideas expressed in this blog are my own, and opinions are like anuses. We all have them and they all stink. Except mine, which smells like roses.

Hi Sharon! Yeah, Serenity had the right of it. You must follow your doctor's instructions, since they will be tailored to your needs. As for the foods I ate, my doc is a low carb kind of guy. 30g of carbs and not a drop more! LOL! I recommend stepping down in the carbs at least at first if your doc does that. Keep a food diary every day, and learn to do without anything white except cauliflower. White bread, rice, potatoes, oatmeal, and of course sugar. By stepping down pre-surgery, you set a course with fair winds and following seas for later. As for the recipes and foods post-surgery, you're welcome to read my blog here, and eventually you're welcome to take a peek at my off-site blog, where I have even more bandster recipes, even for holidays. The address is at my LBT blog. There are some common denominators for eating after surgery. Things like these (I've probably forgotten a few.) 1. CHEW, CHEW, CHEW. Pay attention to what you put in your mouth and how long you chew it. Turn off the TV and pay attention. I'm not kidding! 2. Take tiny bits. I whirl all my meats in the food processor until they resemble hamburger even today, but just for my portions. The DH still gets his steak the way he likes it. I still can't eat stringy meats without this. No, you don't need a Magic Bullet. (rolling my eyes) If you have a blender and food processor, you're set. (I also have a mandolin, but I love to cook!) 3. Your portions will be smaller, so think about using a bread/dessert plate for less dish-washing later. (wink) No, you don't need the baby fork and spoon. Skip that purchase. However, a sippy cup right after surgery can help you learn not to gulp. I took a purple sparkly one to the hospital, sans the valve inside. It taught me and was given to my granddaughter a month later when I no longer needed it. 4. Remember the band only controls VOLUME. You control CONTENT. Ice cream will slide right past the band and will not help your appetite. Eat slowly, chew every bite, and you won't need to eat much before you're pushing that itty bitty plate away. 5. Do yourself a favor and eat Proteins first, veggies second, and THEN whatever you know is naughty and simply must have because we all test the band. A few times worshiping the porcelain god and then having to explain to the doc why you managed to gain a few pounds with a band should give you the mental spanking you need. That's enough to overwhelm you, I think. :thumbup: I see some of you scribbling notes. I did too. LOL! :wink2: Lena