Kat817

Allergies are flaring up tonight. I stood outside and talked to Rick while he waxed my car---outside is not a good place for me right now, the couple across the street have tons of lilacs. I mentioned to Trudy I was allergic, she was not impressed, her partner loves them, they even planted more.......woe is me! Makes me want to move before the time we planned, and I like the neighborhood, and the neighbors......but man I am miserable right now!!! Hey Ms. Jen, how's things going? Whatcha been doing with yourself??? Long time no see!!! Rick is taking my Dad to an oil and gas conference tomorrow---and I am going to get my hair cut. Then not sure what all is on the agenda, we have to hit the nurseries, and get some plants ready for the Moms. Will check in later girls!! Kat

I loved Italy!!! You will too! I was in Germany for a short time, but not enough to say I visited!!! If that makes any sense. Never been to Austria, and I am still dreaming of Switzerland!!!! Lucky you!!!!! Well Rick is on his way home.....just saw this and had to tell you how happy I am for you!!!! Glad you found someone to spoil you that you enjoy spoiling back so much!!! Ain't Love grand!! Kat

I have discovered I can get in trouble without trying---or knowing!!! Son, DIL and grandson come by, with a guy DS works with to show him the chopper. The friend left, we were doing some work on the computer (writing sons resignation letter, he is changing jobs). Kinsey and Connor come in and they want to play the fishing game. I said NO, it is too loud, and has too many little pieces. So a few minutes, and I realize they are both quiet and missing, and sure enough the bedroom door is closed, and behind it, in the middle of all my packing stuff they have the fishing game out. I snatched it up, told her it was GONE! Popped her in the corner. Turn around and they are leaving! Come to find out, according to my MIL, my DIL thinks that is abusive. And did not want me punishing Connor, or him to see what happen. I would not have punished him, he did not ask about it, Kinsey did, she knew better. The game will go away for a long while now. I did nothing abusive! Kinsey will learn to mind what I say. I take care of her everyday, I cannot be letting her disobey everything I say..... My MIL said Connor is not told No very often so it is not an issue. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it IS an issue. He already does not mind, and it will only get worse! So.....shame on Bad Granny!!!! Rick is eating at work, so, I froze my spaghetti sauce too----so I don't have to have dinner tonight. I will open a can of soup or something and call it good. If my stomach cooperates. Whatever it is, is upsetting my stomach in general now, and causing me pain--it is not agreeing with me. So no more Zyrtec, will call Dr. tomorrow and see about an allergy shot---be much easier!!! Maybe he will have som eye drop samples for me too!!! Well, I need to unload the DW----will check with y'all later! Kat

You know, I have a little list on the fridge of things I still need to pick up etc. But it just dawned on me, other than kissing Rick goodbye, I don't have to "prepare" anything. I want to seriously thank you girls who are arranging child care, and making this happen---that takes dedication and desire-----and I appreciate that--way more than I can convey here! I have it rather easy, no job....no kids to arrange....an understanding DH who is not concerned with me going. I DO know it is not that easy for all of us, and just want to say THANKS girls-----this WILL be worth it!!! (((((hugs)))))) Kat

Didn't TracyK say she met Frank on line too? Maybe I was dreaming! I think it makes perfect sense---the emotional boost of chatting with and flirting with someone, anonymously---allows you to re gain your confidence step by step. I realize it does not put someone there with you right now. I had decided I was spending my life alone after my disasterous second marriage. I no longer trusted my judgement, I didn't trust men, I was fat....so I give up, I sat at home and ate!!! I was an awesome Mom though! We had parties for the girls here all the time! I cooked them great food, I taught them how to cook, I let them do craft projects, and make blankets, showed them how to use the sewing machine---I had a blast. And a house full of kids for companions! Becky and I spoke everyday, but she had 2 boys, and was supporting the family, Gary had just gotten hurt----so I had no one, but kids, and my folks. It was a self imposed exile though. I had friends, who were single---but when we went anywhere, we did things like go to Albq. spend the weekend and take the kids to the zoo and amusement park. I did not date, I did not go to places I might meet men. I knew in my heart the "one I had truly loved", I had let go----it was done, I had no intentions of ever being part of a couple again. Until that "one" called again!!! He was safe, I already loved him, had never stopped, and I have never looked back, only in horror at what could have been! Point being--when you quit looking......LOOKOUT!!!!! If I were to be single ever------I would go online without a question one!!! My only real issue with online dating is, there are people out there like Rick who type like absolute idiots when they are not!!! He hunt & peck types, is horrible with punctuation. He writes so much better, he does not use the computer in a typing manner often, and it shows. I think I would have shrugged him off as illiterate or something, when he is far from it! So seeing through the layers would be hard---talking to him would have helped!! Well, I am doind laundry today, and packing away what I am taking, as well as packing a bag for surgery. What goes in them I will just have to do without the next week or so! I have stuff out to make some spaghetti for dinner, as well as making a lasagna this afternoon to put into the freezer. I am going to try to do that each day this week, put something in the freezer, ready to thaw & serve or cook & serve---but you get the idea! Actually the rest of this week I will likely not get anything accomplished, Rick is off this evening through Monday, so life will be chaotic to say the least! Next week I will cook extra too! Trying to get some sort of organization going---not happening so much!! Still having eating issues. Jenn I tried everything, nothing but the Zyrtec, helps if the hives start---or with the eye itching. Pantnol drops help, but they make even water taste bad! So I don't know what to do, but this is getting old. And this morning, it feels like my tea is not going down well, like it may be actually affecting my band and my digestion. I forced myself to eat a piece of sausage, but I could not get the eggs down, I would begin to chew, and the taste or the texture, would force me to spit them out before I gagged, making me throw up, which I am trying to avoid doing of course. Since then, I have been sipping tea----and it and the sausage feel like they are just sitting, not moving through at all. It is lunch time, I need to get Kinsey something to eat, and to try something myself. The thought is almost more than I can handle. I am apparently getting enough in, I am not weak, and my weight is stable. Might just let it go for a day or so, and see how it goes. Well off to find food for the girl! Kat

Yesterday when I was logged on, I noticed that under my name was more new additions, it once again said the city and state I was from. Then today it is gone again, but others show.....how is that being determined? Or is it a work in progress??!! Kat

The crabbiness is also in part to pain medication. Have you discussed with your Dr, how your pain meds are to be taken? If they have to be cut in half or altered in any way you might want to detail how to avoid being given a different amount!! Good Luck to you, you will do fine! Look forward to seeing you in bandland!!! Kathy---you got approved yesterday---YAY you!!! Kat

Loss of appetite is possible---I read it earlier, drowsiness may occur......the list goes on, hoping I stop having side effects soon!!! I can eat without issue--I have to do it without thinking about it though, because thinking about the taste makes me want to gag! So wierd!! Breakfast, I ate mandarin oranges---and later a piece of sausage. Drank some of the icee! Lunch, I had tuna salad with wheat Ritz. Kinsey loves Tuna salad, but she likes hers in fritos scoops! I got about half a piece of cheese eaten, and it was gagging me so I quit! Then dinner I had the taco and onion rings. So it was not the healthiest of days, I just have to force myself to eat something. Will make an effort tomorrow to force better food upon myself!!! I will actually be cooking dinner, so that alone should help! That is usually my protein meal! I know my last blood work up, my iron levels were fine, as well as the last time I donated blood, they were high enough for me to do a double donation---platelets and whole blood. But anything is possible!!! I take multi vitamins and B complex each day----still doing that, although I thought the B complex was coming back up---it is sublingual, and it hit the taste buds being affected by whatever, and OMG it was nasty!!!! But it has all stayed down!!! I am almost out of vitamins, need to buy some---anyone have any suggestions, I usually just buy childrens chewables and do 2 a day. Thanks for the ideas---it just seems so strange to not want to eat. If I were not so aware of the health implications, especially facing surgery in less than 2 weeks now!!!!! I could really drop some weight. Amazing how now I concentrate on the health aspect of doing things that way---I would never have looked a gift horse in the mouth before!! Kat

I had good hair once.....it was nice, and blonde, and straight enough to do things with, without tons of frizzy short pieces. Then come chemo---my hair grew back darker, courser, and curly underneath, and straight on top---not a good combination! And if that was not bad enough, I lost a good half of what I had when I was banded---so it has half assed grown back, and remains thin. The kicker??? Yep it gets worse!! I have 2 scars on the front, top of my head, and no hair grows on the scars---so occasionally if blown just right I have bald spots!!! Nothing can be done about it, so...I deal with it, mostly by ignoring it!! I likely would complain about the lack of hair, except, while it grows extremely slow---so does all of it. I shave my legs maybe 4 times a year---whether they need it or not!!! Same with my arm pits!! And let's just say bikini line (if I ever dared to show it) would not be an issue either. I don't miss the stubble or the shaving----so I try to look at that as the silver lining, and deal with the rest!!! Kat

I had to kinda giggle too....but the whole banning thing does not surprise me---they gotta find something to waste time and money trying to control, as opposed to doing REAL work!!! Why does your sister choose to smoke her flavored tobacco, through a hooka as opposed to everyday flavored cigarettes??? Well I ate dinner....ate a rolled taco, and some onion rings from the A&W!! Rick come in, and found me asleep again on the couch, I am telling you these allergy pills are doing me in!!! But, as usual the food went down fine. It just had a gaggy taste, as everything does unless it is super sweet---and then I can only handle a little bit of it. So it seems the meds are messing with my tasters! Single digits til we get together---woohoo!! Means I better get my butt in high gear with all I have to do, with it, and surgery the next day---not taking naps on the couch!!! LOL I was sitting today with Kinsey on my lap, and we were talking, I told her that her hair was so pretty....she said "so is yours Granny, but I think you need highlights"----a 3 year old and she is giving me style advice!!! Of course I need it! About 10 minutes later she says "SEE" and there was a commercial on with Bratz dolls you spray their hair, and bright pink highlights show up!!! And it comes with mascara type of highlighter for the childs hair, in bright silver glitter. THOSE are the highlights my fashionista DGD wants me to have!!! Manda bought her a new car today. In her name only. On her own. She did have Rick go over it, but she made the deal, and paid on her own. She is still calling every single day to try to move her appointment up!!! She is going to call the Heart hospital tomorrow to find out if she can work in quicker, now that driving to Abq. is a more affordable venture for her. She is feeling MUCH better though, the achiness, and swollen lymph glands have eased. Well, after sleeping all night long, and taking 2 naps today----you would think I would be up all night, and I am ready for bed!!! Will check with you girls in the mornin'! Kat

Sounds fun, but I have already scheduled and planned out vacation times for this year....so wouldn't likely make it. We too have a place in central TX---but have plans to be there in June, and again in November....missing this..... Maybe it will become an annual event, and I can catch y'all next year! Kat

Are you talking about this, for this year or next? Kat

I had the problem during my cancer Dx, and follow up, not during pregnancy, but I feel your pain. It was horribly embarassing, the tech, pushing as hard as she could on the US wand, and still getting nothing. I think I blocked it, til I read your thread. Sorry you are having to deal with it, but congrats on the healthy wee one!! Kat

I see this in my great nephews. My niece does not believe in spanking them, as that is abuse, but she has said horrid, mean, dregrading things to those boys----just getting her point across! Give me a break! 20 years from now, they would not remember a quick pop on the butt (if it were kept to that) but the words that they were a disappointment, or that they were stupid or they would not keep getting in the same trouble again, and again--they will remember FOREVER! Abuse comes in many, many forms----and an abuser will simply move to another form if it is illegal to spank a child. They likely use more than one kind now. After years of being abused, and working with other women who were abused---the physical is the easiest to get past. Yep I have scars---but it is not them that can cause you to lie awake at night and wonder----it is the words---the emotional abuse. You lay there wondering if on some level you really ARE that bad, and question everything. When the physical is over, it is over. I am not promoting spanking-----just saying as Lulu did above---there are worse things a parent can do than pop a child on the butt for misbehaviour..... Kat

One thing that has not been mentioned that has helped me through a couple of slowed down times, is to find a new bandster, and mentor them. The excitement is contagious, and it makes you remember all the highs and lows. I started with my Violets group, and now have a girl locally who was just banded. It keeps me on track, feeling like I need to at least show them what can be done. I do understand where you are at....I attritbuted mine to winter too....that I am confident will someday go away!!! Spring keeps teasing us then hiding out again..... Kat

Well Judy, I could probably up my protein and not hurt myself---but it is not from lack of ability to eat....although the thought of eating some things makes me want to gag. It is just I don't WANT to eat---anything, the thought seems almost repulsive. I am taking my vitamins, and forcing myself to eat a mostly healthy diet. I have just never felt this way about food before. I had lost the hunger since being banded, but never the real desire for food. I had quit getting the intense cravings, and suddenly just have NONE! Wierdest thing I ever lived through....LOL Kat

(humming the Twilight Zone theme song here.....) Now it is baaaaaack!!! LOL Kat

Nope, no surgeons in NM anymore. We do have a fill center in Albq. now though. There are several in Colorado---Denver, Pueblo, Canon City, and one coming to Montrose soon. Same with Arizona.....and even Lubbock, which is not terribly far. I was originally going to go with a Dr. in Canon City CO. When insurance and I went round and round, I ended up going to Mexico, but use my original choice for follow up care, though I am considering using the Fill Center USA inAlbq. for convenience. Good Luck! I would love to see a GOOD surgeon settle in the state. Welcome to LBT!!! Kat

I hadn't thought about her in awhile either! So many went away when things split, I could never keep up with who was where! Everyone says the same about the TT--but it is past time, this stomach has got to go!!! I continue to slowly lose weight, but none of it comes from there. My hips, and legs are downright swrawny now.....but the belly keeps a hangin'!! Totally unfair--so just gonna send it to the landfill!!! LOL Kat

Mess with one Violet--mess with us all.....how can we "help"?! Eating is still an issue--I have slept the afternoon away-my life feels like it was taken over by someone else. I never sleep in the daytime! And I have always liked to eat, at least something--chocolate is not even appealling! I ate some oranges at breakfast---then had to go unlock Rick's car, and almost fell asleep driving over there! So thought Kinsey and I would stop at Target and wander around, maybe wake up a bit. I got one of the white cherry icees, it tasted really good....the rest is in the freezer, will eat it later, too much of it and the sugar gives me horrible heartburn!!! But I love them! They taste just like the bright red ones, but they do not have any color, so Kinsey can have them without ruining anything, and I can have them without a red mouth!!! I just looked down and we are a feline bunch in here right now....shows Kity, SuzieCAT, and of course myself Kat----!!!! Meow! Well I think I will get a load of laundry done, since I have accomplished nothing else today! BBL~~ Kat

Well Jessica, if it were in my power, I'd ride by pick ya up and join you at the game! That is such fun! We catch games when we are in Denver--and love it!! That is one thing we miss about Denver---they had ALL the pro sports---and here where we are, ya got high school!!!! Well, I am having a horrid day fighting allergies. I have spent the afternoon sleeping with Kinsey as my meds kicked my butt, but when I woke up, my eyes are still itching like crazy, and I don't feel awake even!! I'll check back in with you guys in awhile.... Kat

I agree BJean, it seems like one day TOM was laying rocks for his wifes 60th birthday, and the next he was gone---kinda scary! Kat

Thinking of you today BBK~~~ hope all goes well, and hope to hear from you soon. Kat

Yep--------I think you lost a huge amount of negativity!! Life is too short to surround yourself with people who are not supportive. I think that at this point, they have taken the decision out of your hands, and that Pix's reply would be ideal. If you are doing this with a Dr.'s support, and are doing well with it, then by all means ignore the threats of these jealous women. Now keep in mind, in their sugar induced states of mind, they may totally believe in what they are doing too----same as you do!! They might not be doing it out of vindictiveness, but out of what they see as concern. What would it take to make them see things as they really are, as opposed to seeing them through the lard haze----I have no idea! Just mentioning, if you always thought them good friends, then just close the door, don't lock it---it might take health issues for another of them, before any of them see the light. I have one friend who is non supportive---but only in the way that she refuses to acknowledge I have done anything. She was hateful as hell about me having surgery, TOLD me not to do it---like she makes my choices!!! I really think she thought I would abide by what she said! NOT! Now we are nowhere near as close. We used to speak 4-5 times a week, now it is every 4-5 weeks. And she never mentions it at all. Over 100 pounds, and I am healthy, and not a word! If she was continually speaking of it in a negative manner, I would just end the friendship. As it is, we catch up on our kids, and family, and odds and ends, and that is it! Another so called friend lied to me----outright to my face lied to me, and is now living with my ex husband. I could deal with that, although I would hate to admit to having a friend that stupid!! But lying was the kicker-----it ended up putting my child in the line of fire---I have ignored all apologies, and pleas for continuation of the friendship---it is over. Hurt me, I might consider it, mess with my kid, and you are lucky to be breathing! Everyone has to draw their own lines----figure out what you can deal with, and what you want out of the friendship.... As has been said Opinions are like Assholes....and most of them stink, you don't need theirs!! Kat

I am making myself eat----it is just so strange for me!! And I feel like hell today. My allergies are kickedinto high gear, and I just want to dig my eyes out! Seriously. They are swollen, and red, and itch, and my nose is running. Damned lilacs! I have taken the Zyrtec, and used the eyedrops, and nothing is helping this morning. One of Ricks hands wanted to use his Ipod to see if he had a certain album, so Rick let him go to the car to get it. He locked Ricks keys in. So now I have to run to Farmington, to unlock his car. We got this email awhile back about unlocking it over the phone with the remote----it does not work...fyi!!!! I need to look through some pictures to bring to Gruene. I have tons---but Walmarts stupid machine refuses to read my CD's now--so I have to go to Sams, and I despise going in that store!! Might see about sending them to walmart on line, and going that way!! Well I guess I better get dressed and drive over and unlock Rick's car.....I live such an exciting life!!! LOL Talk to ya in awhile! Kat