Kat817

I found it under Edit Options, as opposed to Edit Profile, but I tried it---hope it works for me too---Thanks so much!! Kat

I don't mean this to sound bitchy at all----but you have to decide how much it is worth to you. It might take 2 weeks of "being his Mom"----but is that better than the rest of your life as his ex wife? You are right, your telling him won't change him, but it might give him the help he seems to be asking for in changing himself. Perhaps he simply isn't as strong in that area as you are. Meaning maybe he doesn't see himself as strong enough to ignore the other players begging him, or sweet talking him to hang out and help make the plans etc. It might be easier for him to "place the blame" of leaving on someone else. And since these are strangers, and you get your hubby back----who the hell cares what they think of you!!!! Marriage is not always 50/50. There are times it is distinctly one sided----the thing about a good relationship is it usually evens out, one way or another. The old saying of "Don't cut off your nose to spite your face" comes to mind. Even though how you feel may be 'right'----is it going to come around to cause you more hurt by sticking to those rules? I totally agree with you, I would hate my DH being that involved in anything---game or whatever. I would expect him to be a man and fix the problem. BUT.....what we have is worth my bending a little and helping, with the expectations that if the shoe were on the other foot, he would bend to help me.....and we never know when the shoe WILL be on the other foot. This is not meant to sound like you are at fault in this....just to say, that I hope you think hard about how much YOU are willing to help him help himself, I hate to see you lose even the good part of him.... Good Luck.....I hope his weekend away from it, makes it seem less important to him, maybe it happened at just the right time, I hope so!!! Kat

YUCK----one thing about that Laura, is it made me feel less badly about my house today!!! I intended to get more done, but we planted flowers all day it feels like! Then I went to town with my DD, she bought me a new purse....for Mother's Day, she said there is no way to pick a purse for someone. She is such a bag snob!!! I like this one, it is good for me, she said it was too "old".....she is wrong! I also like it because my wallet and all work with it!!! Tomorrow we are taking the Moms to dinner, to avoid the Sunday crowd, and then going to grill with our kids on Sunday---hoping to get a ride in on Sunday, tomorrow is supposed to be windy. Laura, I had to laugh at the chicken fried bacon comment----wonder if we can find any??? If your tooth--or lack thereof---can handle it!!! Eating has been easier today----thank goodness. I am not able to eat a lot at a time, and was still super tight this morning, but food actually tastes decent again!!! Whew! You'd think I would have lost weight, but nope!!!! I did, but it was back this morning!!! LOL Oh well...... Well I am still not getting email notifications to any of the threads --- that sucks big time!!!! I will catch up with y'all tomorrow! Kat

I agree Terry---all day long I have thought of it off and on, that what if you cannot make it....it is not something my mind accepts---let alone the heart. I KNOW your Mom is #1 priority---and I am very worried about her health as well, but it is just too sad to contemplate you not being there......makes me wanna go pout in the corner! Kat

I took Aciphex for awhile too....it does work differently in the way it slows acid production, as opposed to neutralizing the acids, or blocking them. It did work, I eventually figured out how to control mine, and have managed without it for awhile now. The one thing to watch with Aciphex, is to make sure the food you are eating is really well chewed---which we should as bandsters anyway.....but also he warned me about any kind of old bottled Water to avoid, anything that might have questionable contamination, or something like possible food poisoning. He explained it better, but it has been so long, I forgot. Anyway without the additional acids in the stomach to kill off some of those germs, they are allowed to grow as opposed to being killed off. He said it was not a huge issue, just one to be aware of if we camped frequently and had any contact with say river water I took it for awhile with no issues at all!!! I have been actually losing weight Sherry---wierd. I know now what happened, but it freaked me out for a few days!!! My allergies were really bothering me, so I began taking my Zyrtec, and it messed with my appetite, and my stomach both! They are small pills, and I only do half, but they made food taste so bad, I gagged when I tried to eat! I went 3 days eating baby portions, no snacking, even my water tasted like crap! I finally put 2 & 2 together and come up with like maybe 4!! I have changed to using a nasal allergy medicine, and it has eased....my stomach was better today. I was able to eat food---although not a lot--and it tasted good. Hoping it settles on down now. Today was my first full day with none of it. I took Zyrtec for years! Not any more!!!! So I am dropping into the low 180's----I figure by the time my TT rolls around, I will be able to drop into the 170's and to be honest, with my height, and all, if I stay there forever, I will be thrilled to pieces!!!! I have been wearing my size 14's, and they are comfy. I have a pair of 8/10 pull on capri's that I love, but they are elastic waisted, so not much of a measurement. I can fit a size 12 non stretch jeans, but breathing is not something I enjoy in them!!! They fit fine, in fact a bit loose in the hips and thighs, but the waist is killer tight! The TT should help that---anyway I am holding my breath and hoping!!!! Well, I am going to go see what has happened on the board, for some reason I am not getting a single email notification, and I hate that!!! I use them to link to the thread, or I have to go through all the hassle of finding us again!!! Hope it gets fixed soon!!! Talk to y'all soon. Kat

I had to laugh at my SIL when we were in Mexico, she was deathly afraid of drinking the water-------but she was slurping down the Jello, and having her iced tea----or before surgery she had a Dr. Pepper, over ice. We let her go for awhile, then began razzing her about it!!! She looked so shocked!!! The hospital, said they have a treatment thing for the Water, but they had all the bottled water we could drink for us. Kat

I am not getting a single emial notification anymore---anyone else? Kat

Terry---prayers for Mom...... We are busy in the yard, Rick will be furious if he sees I am cheating at the computer---better run!!! I designate where everything goes!! Talk soon! Kat

I second this whole heartedly! Now, my hysterectomy was done as a partial treatment, I had uterine cancer, and had a complete hysterectomy. My ovaries could not be saved, but I had been tossed into early menopause due to the severity of the endometriosis----so I did not have issue with the withdrawal of hormones, it had already been happening. If I had to choose it would be really hard which surgery I am most thankful for, my band or my hysterectomy.....I am thankful for both. Since my hysto, was done for the Dx, it was abdominally, with a hip to hip incision with an additional 5" upwards towards the belly button. I was in the hospital for 3 days, had issues getting up and around for awhile, I was extremely sore, but had been through quite a bit more, than the average hysterectomy----mine lasted over 8 hours!!! LOL But within a week or so, was walking easy, and by the end of my 6 weeks limitations time, I was climbing the walls! Sexually is has not been any sort of deterrant. There are occasional times we will have to use some sort of KY or similar product, but not often. I would knock people down getting to the front of the line to do it again----just like my band, I wish I had done it long before----if I had the cancer would likely have only been a bad dream!!! And now my TT will eliminate my faint scars!!!! Kat

I think I would keep a tally for say a week, of exactly how much time he spent in front of the computer, and how much time he spent with his child and wife. At the end of the week show it to him, give him some details of what all you did while he was occupied with a game. Then I would tell him, since he was always asking if it was time to quit, or if it was ok, that from now on, the answer was going to be NO, because it is being detrimental to your relationship, his job, his personal hygeine, everything else in his life suffers because of this game. I know you hate to act like his Mom, but in my experience, military personel especially get used to being TOLD (ordered) as to what to do----and expect it. My Uncle retired Air Force, and he was lost! 30 years later, he still I guess thought someone would be over him to tell him what to do when! Finally he settled on a career, and has moved on, but he said it was hard to suddenly be adrift without superior officers. They do it to them, they take away pretty much all their independent thought, and give them back what they want them to be like, and act like. He is used to being told----it may be that you have to Tell him. If he refuses to go to counseling, take your DD and go alone. She deserves to have the outside person telling her it is not her fault he ignores her. Kids have a way of blaming themselves for everything---some grow out of it----the rest of us grew up into women!!!!! Kat

My DH has to fall asleep with a foot out from under the covers, but I notice as he sleeps and it gets chilled it goes under!!! It used to take us an extra 5 minutes each morning to just untangle and decide who that leg belonged to.....we would weave ourselves through the night. But as we aged, and I got fat, and hot all the time, we took to spacing ourselves some. Now we almost always touch in one way or another, his hand on my hip, or mine on his shoulder....our feet touching. Somewhere-----until one of us is deep enough sleeping we move. Now I wake up all alone, not tangled at all!! I can go into a total rage though if I try to wear a gown---it tangles and twists, and chokes the life out of me!!! So I seldom sleep the first night away from home, a strange place, strange bed, and I am wearing clothing. Usually by the 2nd night exhaustion takes over, and I am ok!!! I too prefer my pillow cool---we use strictly down, and I hate then getting old, where they feel hard and useless!!! Kat

Tyler, once we get past the strict post op diet, and it is designed to let the stomach heal (there should not be anything that needs digestion), we can eat whatever we choose. A bit of fat is necessary in ones diet. The big thing with the band is that whatever calories you take in, you literally TAKE IN! They process through your system just as they do now. So if one is not doing some serious weight training, or exercise program, then a shake with high calories is going to work against them. When we get our Protein from a lean meat source (as I say AFTER the post op diet) then it sits in our pouches for a longer time, leaving us full for longer than the shake is going to, as it being liquid, it will flow right through, leaving us to be hungry again a short while later. I cannot remember for sure, but I believe if I could have strained your shake to remove any possible bits of peanuts, there would have been nothing I couldn't have had. I used a lot of Protein Powder, and I too mixed it with skim milk, and used many flavorings. You can also use a spoon full of the SF/FF pudding mix. I love the Da Vinci syrups. I would use almost the same mix you mention---the chocolate protein powder, milk, ice cubes, and coconut syrup (SF). Tasted like a Mounds bar!!! Caramel was my favorite, so I just used unflavored protein powder, milk, ice cubes and caramel Da Vinci syrup. Once I got past my post op diet though, my Dr. preferred us to get our protein, as well as all nutrition through food as opposed to liquid calories. I am betting you will be pleasantly surprised, and you will be able to have your favorite shake! Kat

<<<<<<<is pouting! I did not go to Walmart and buy any clothes for the trip. So unless I have something that matches from last year....I am gonna be left out! I bought me a disposable waterproof camera today....kept forgetting that. I also got some heavy duty sunscreen---Pamela warned me about steroids and sun....so I got the highest SPF I could find! Judy---I forgot on the other thread, but loved your pictures---especially when you left your halo to show!!! Rick brought me a manicure set from the oil & gas show----made me laugh. I am putting it in my checked luggage---at an oil and gas conference!!! Well.....gonna go walk now....talk to ya tomorrow, see ya in a week!!! Kat

Well girls, we had a busy day too. Got caught in a hailstorm---which is never fun---but we were on the bike!!!! Not too much fun!! Then we went to buy a few flowers to plant the Moms pots we have them....and we went nuts!!! We had plants filling the trunk (and it is huge---I always say I could hide 5 bodies in there!!), the back seat, the floor boards, and I had an 18 pack of pansies on my lap!!! LOL We come home, and Rick planted our porch flower bed, and a planter box that hangs on the front porch over a wagon wheel---that was actually on his great grandfathers wagon! We have lots to plant tomorrow. At some point on Saturday we will take the Moms to lunch or dinner. Then we can see them on Sunday without fighting the crowd to go out! Plus I have some time on Sunday with my kids. I ate today, just not a lot. Could not imagine breakfast! So I drank hot tea. Lunch I had some frito pie, and for dinner, I had some blooming onion, and some boneless hot wings. It isn't wanting to digest very dang fast either, I am ready to go to bed, but it feels like I just ate! So I am drinking some Water, trying to flush it through!! I have not had a minute to look at the form thing y'all are talking about---but if something gets done you need my input let me know! I am going to go walk sedately on the treadmill for a bit, see if it makes my food move on through! Talk to y'all in the morning. Kat

Thanks so much!!! Steph I have been having massive allergy attacks the last few days. I am horribly allergic to lilacs, and they are all blooming, but it mostly affects my eyes--now so much sneezing----but I will do my best to avoid it!! When I had my hysterectomy---it was a hip bone to hip bone incision with a vertical then about 5 inches up--due to the cancer Dx. I remember the first time I sneezed, I about peed my pants!!! Julie, I bet you will be thrilled when the last drain is gone. He told me there is no way to guess how long a drain will remain in. He said there is just no way to know how the body will respond. But, since he is close to where I live, I can be checked frequently. All day as I tugged down a shirt I wore, feeling it was not enough coverage, I would think....not much longer, not much longer! I cannot imagine a flat stomach!!! I also was given 3 pairs of jeans by my neighbor that are a size down from mine. They are 12's----so hoping soon they fit!!! I am so glad to have you all on this journey with me!!! Thanks for all the support!!! Kat

The one that threw me, and I read on your link the same thing--------no gel inserts for shoes!!! They made a man in front of us throw his away! I would have never thought of that!!! Ok off to get my hair cut. See ya later! Kat

Lori, my stylist was married years ago, had 4 kids, and after 15 years he was caught fooling around, and they divorced. I began going to her after this, and followed her through different relationships, and the pitfalls of dating. Then along came Denny---and she fell hard. They dated, she got very philosophical in the approach to remarriage, they talked everything over, as they both had mostly grown kids. She was extremely happy. She is a natural red head, and I am talking wild, aimless curls---and her personality was just as wild. Then one day out of the clear blue, Denny told her he didn't want to be narried anymore. Crushed her! She was so despondent....her kids worried about her, we all did. Ironically this was about 6 months after I was banded, and Rick was going through so much health wise, and my hair was falling out like crazy, and I did not get to see her often. She is still bitter, but I think safe to be around with scissors now!! I am hoping when I see her today, to see a spark of the old Lori, ready to take on the world again. If she starts singing--I'll run!!! Kat

Hi girls----doing my best to lay off the allergy meds today to see if I can straighten my stomach up. It was starting to hurt---that is not good. If I cannot handle the allergies, I will see the Dr. tomorrow and see if he will give me a shot. I am off to get my hair cut.....woohooo!!!! I have to leave it long enough to put in a ponytail so I can contain it on the motorcycle, otherwise it has enough curl and is soooooo fine, I have a mess I end up cutting mats out!!! Yuck!!! So I ponytail it, and swoop it up, even under a helmet! Not sure what we will do with it. I am excited to see Lori----haven't seen her in awhile. We always have so much catching up to do, we yack away, and soon it is all done!!! Gonna let her tame the old eye brows too!! They are so pale in spots they hardly show, and then I get the stragglers every few months, I let her rip em out!! LOL Rick and my Dad are off at an oil and gas conference. Kind of like a giant man cave, full of things they like, and lots of BBQ!!!! And of course dozens of men they know. This afternoon we are going shopping for flowers!! Yay!!! BUT.....nurseries and no allergy meds might be a challenge of a major size!! Thinking part of the stomach hurting could be mucus like before, so going to go fix me a cup of hot tea to take with me. Will check in with you girls in awhile!! Kat

I am 2 years out, almost to my goal weight, have surgery scheduled later this month for a Tummy Tuck---and I have had 2 fills. Like you say, I could likely have done it quicker with more restriction, but I have not had any problems, and feel the spot I am at is ideal! At our seminar, he said there are very rarely people that never even need a fill! My band has eliminated my hunger----which is a godsend! I say if it ain't broke, don't fix it!!! Too many times, it seems an overtight band, and resulting unfill, lead to more of the same problems as time goes by. I am scared to have my fill removed for my TT. I am required to do so, and understand completely doing it, but I am scared I won't ever find this happy spot again. My Dr. is one who will not fill you more if you are losing weight, he feels being too tight is not healthy for the stomach. We got along well in that manner. He also only uses fluoro under request or if he has a problem locating of hitting a port. Never have needed it----we used it at a year out, and looked at my band---but that was a check up, not a fill. Keep up the good work!!! Kat

No offense to your 14 year old son.....but no thanks!!! I have done the 14 yr. old son, and 2 daughters---and the biggest problem with them, is that they end up 17 eventually!!! A rough year with all 3 of ours!! I think they could smell freedom! We actually had it pretty easy with our kids. But Grandkids are awesome!!! I love it! All the time to enjoy, and none of the constant stress. I am not trying to get them to clean their rooms, or put away their laundry, or finding dirty dishes in wierd places. I am lucky in the fact that I get quality time with the little ones each by themselves, so they can be my sole focus----and then occasionally I get to have them together---and chaos ensues!!! Loved my kids----but grandbabies are where its at!!!! Kat

There are places in Mexico that surgery is VERY safe, there are also places, that it is not. Same can be said for the United States, and every other country doing it! The key is to research! Research the surgery decide if it is for you. Research the surgeon, the facility the surgeon uses, speak with former patients. When you make a choice, be proactive! Make arrangements for aftercare within a reasonable distance to you. The Fill Centers USA will fill Mexican banded patients. I have a licensed surgeon, who was going to do my surgery, and insurance was a mess, so I chose Mexicali, Mexico with Dr. Alberto Aceves, and the original stateside surgeon I chose is doing my aftercare. Many US surgeons were proctored by Mexican surgeons who have been doing this surgery longer. They do not all turn up their noses--you just have to make some calls, and visits, discuss openly why you are using another Dr. and set a plan before going off elsewhere to be banded,and then trying to find a Dr. My surgeon in Mexico, and my followup care Dr. actually spoke prior to my surgery. Are there risks? Yes of course, it is surgery, there will always be risks regardless of where you have it done. If you research and find a safe and reputable surgeon, those risks are minimalized. The biggest difference, and what enables them to do it at a lesser amount, is you do not have the same options if problems do arise, the Mexican surgeon is not covered with the same malpractice insurance you will find most in the US are. So recouping expenses if there is a problem could be difficult. My experience was great, I continue to recommend my surgeon, as I had zero problems, and felt very secure in my decision. I did my homework before going, and had not only one plan in place, but also a secondary plan. And as we all know, plans don't always fall into place! I went 2 years without issue--then gt a virus over Spring Break, and all of my aftercare arrangement Doctors, were out of town----all at once!!! I got through it without needing an unfill----but it was scary---I would never recommend going to Mexico or anywhere far away--------even across the US to another Dr----------without making emergency arrangements close to home. When you get sick, traveling that way is not sometimes an option. Key to it all is research!!! Ask lots of questions! Get lots of answers! Make lots of plans!! Make things as safe for yourself as possible--and go for it! Kat

I was telling my 3 year old granddaughter, that she was going to be staying with Nana--her great grandma--for awhile so I could have surgery. She ask what that was, so I told her that since I lost weight, I have lots of skin and yucky stuff left on my belly, and they are going to take it off and try to make it look more smooth like her tummy. She is sitting on my lap, so I can show her my fat rolls, and then I rubbed her little tummy. Very seriously she asks "they are gonna cut your tummy?" I said yes, but they will fix it closed again, and I will feel sore, but pretty soon I will feel much better, and it will also look better. "Can I have your tummy?" she asks me in all seriousness!!! I said "why would you want this?" She tells me it is soft, and she loves me!!! I got this mental picture, kind of like those commercials that were on for awhile....of my fat belly on her pretty little pink nightstand!!!! Gotta love kids!! Kat

You know, if you have other things you want to tell, we have no problem with you going on,and on, as you put it! Let it all out----let it go! Those experiences do not define you, they define the rude people behind them. Sometimes verbalizing them, or writing them out, allows you to finally see them for what they were, an action of a rude person, and no reflection of YOU! Let them go. In the end---we will still be who we are inside, while being much smaller on the outside. And they will still be who they are--rude, mean, inconsiderate people. Sometimes that is hard to say, when some of the most hurtful comments come from family! But as much as I do love my MIL, she is full of mean comments concerning my weight loss---she used to be very different, I chalk it up to her turning into a grouchy old woman. She is rude to others about other things---so it isn't just me! Hold true to yourself.....there are times I see someone, I truly want to inform them about Lap Band and what it can do. But I would NEVER!!!!! Hang in there, and vent as needed!!!! Kat

Your Dad is really lucky to have a son who cares so much! I began this at 289 pounds, 2 years ago. I had high blood pressure (2 Rx's), high blood sugar (1 Rx), painful joints (Rx) with both knees having been operated on, high cholesterol----I was unable to move much---I felt defeated! When I had surgery, I actually never went back on some of my meds, and within a few short months was off of all of them, and to this day take no prescription meds at all! I am close to my goal weight, I have a Tummy Tuck scheduled in just under 2 weeks. I can shop in normal sizes, I blend into crowds, I can run with my grandkids. I have a life again! I found lap band surgery itself to be uncomfortable for a day or 2 at most. I would not consider my own to have been a painful thing. It was done laproscopically, so a few small incisions, nothing huge! I had mine done in Mexicali, Mexico. Within the week, I was back to driving, and caring for my granddaughter while my DD (Darling Daughter) works. I have had 2 fills---where saline is added to the band, to make it tighter, to help you eat less. I have pretty good restriction, but mostly for me the band has helped with my hunger issues. I no longer feel like I am starving all the time! I used to eat non stop, I was hungry 24/7---not anymore! I feel in control, and it feels awesome!!! You do have to work with the band. It does not do it for you. We call it a tool----but it makes it doable! With the help of the band, my weight has steadily dropped....enabling me to lose over 60 inches off of my body!!! Go with your Dad to a seminar or 2---you will learn a great deal about Weight Loss Surgery--usually they cover more than one kind. You can help him decide what is for him, and what to expect from each. Support is key---and it sounds like his is already there!! Your Dad is a lucky guy!! Welcome! Kat

Hi Kellie, sorry you had such a rough time with the fill! I would say that since you are able to get some nutrition in, with the Slim Fast----give it a day or so. Try to drink them, maybe some Ensure or nutrtitional drinks like that....and let your stomach and esophagus relax, and unswell. I would not under any circumstances, even if you feel better, try to eat food for a couple of days. Your body has been through a real shock! If after tomorrow evening it does not seem to be improving at all, then I would call your Dr. again, and if you have to be further unfilled, go for it, it is better than causing damage, by remaining too tight. You might also try different temperature liquids. Hot tea, with some sugar or honey will give you some energy, and sometimes soothes the irritation. On the other hand sometimes ice cold works for other people. Icee's that kind of thing----real slow. Personally the hot works for me. I have only had 2 fills and never been over filled, but I did get sick and vomit, and end up with resulting swelling. I sipped hot tea for a couple of days, and slowly eased back to my diet.....it was scary!!!! I can imagine how you felt! Relax.....stress will cause you to tighten too. Sip and give yourself some time. If you do not feel a lot better in 24 hours, I would think you need to see your Dr. again. Hope you feel much better soon!! Kat