Kat817

Sad to say, but there simply isn't much respect for funerals in general anymore, and as for the young people pushing through----you have to wonder how they were raised! My DD has been taken to funerals of family and friends as need be since she was young. When she was born she had 6 grandmothers and 4 grandgfathers within a 15 mile radius (with no divorce in there---just lots of great grandparents!). The attention she received was wonderful, the down side was she lost them all as she was growing up. She was never forced to go---but she was taken, and she learned from each and every one...and now she someone she knows passes, or the relative of someone she knows, she attends the services out of respect for the remaining family. Her ex husband, was not allowed to attend his one grandmothers funeral as it would be too emotional for a kid, and when they were married, he refused to attend ANY funeral. Well he works with my DH, and they had a guy killed on a joblast year, and he had work related obligations to go to....he freaked out. He wore his work issued shirt----he had no clue what to do, how to act, what to wear---anything! My DH said he was so nervous through it (the ex SIL) that he was borderline giggling through it all. We knew where it was coming from----he was never taught much of anything, and at almost 30 years old he was attending his first funeral! Would he have done the things you saw them doing? Without a question----NOTHING is as important as what HE is doing. NOTHING that makes him uncomfortable is worth doing anyway. He knows this, his Mommy and Daddy told him so! DH's leg is purple and black. But no broken bones or anything. He said it looked like the deer broke her neck hitting him---she was still in the median of the highway. Still find myself looking at him and thanking my lucky stars he is still here! Thanks for the well wishes!

I logged on, and had forgot to weigh-------so I read Tracy's post--went to the scale and I can claim the -3!!! YAY!!! But tonight we are going to the Chuckwagon thing. But usually with me, I hang on a weight for a couple days or even a couple of weeks, and then a pound or 2 will drop off, then I hang there and on and on again. Hope things go well for your dsd Tracy----I predict soon it will not be an issue. She will be around you enough to develop a "Tracy Backbone"!!!!! LOL We have several large Maple trees around us. When Rick took out the big ladder to service our cooler this year, he used it and climbed up into the big tree in the yard, and hung a new swing for the kids. Now that Kinsey can swing herself----she is out there day and night, she loves it. It swings such a long distance, and her weight is not enough to make it go real high, but with the long swing back and forth she thinks she is going great guns!! We had a swing in it before that was made from a tire, but cut to look like a horse, and you straddled it to swing. BUT she could not pump to go on it, and she NEVER used it. So he put a regular swing up there, and give the horse to our son, for our grandson--she was not thrilled over that! Too bad!!! She was so used to being here every day---she is now wandering around to see what all has changed. Hey Jane, can you fitme in today for a haircut?? Lori who does mine, is not sure she is going to be able to do mine today. She called me from the Urgent care, they are thinking her DD may be having an appendicitis attack. If so she will go home with the grandkids, and I will be shaggy for longer. She said if they send her DD home, then by my appt time the kids Dad will be there. So just playing wait and see right now. Hope she is well for her sake, not just my hairs!! Good Luck on your memorial thing today Jenn--sorry about the pool----it is always something it seems like. But it will be fine, they know it has been raining! You are just lucky to HAVE a pool!!! Next weekend is our Fire and Ice Rally. I think we will leave and go down on Thursday, and spend a little time exploring the ice caves----which is a big freak out for me--the caves are! Gonna be brave! So Suzanne, is this new job offer something you would enjoy? More $$$?? You always seem to talk about your hospital volunteer time like you really enjoy it. Keep us in the loop! From the looks of the map on the news, Terry is waking up to fresh COOL air! Mornings in the mountains are so crisp I love it! Our rally on the other hand is desert! But it is a fun rally, it is geared to the family---it is nothing to see generations of a family walking around. The local high school cheerleaders there have a play area for the kids, they have a dozen or so bouncers--the giant air up things kids jump in, and they have a fountain the kids are allowed to play in. Where the last rally we went to was really heavily attended by biker gangs----this one is a family affair! Guess it is pancake time......my 3 pounds may seriously not last. But this is rare time with the Kinsey girl, so pancakes it is! Have a great day everyone---will check in when I can! Company picnic at 11........

PJTP----on his way to work yesterday, my husband hit a deer....well it kinda hit him......ON HIS CHOPPER!!!!! He just built this bike, and it is a beaut----and this doe come running out at him on the highway. His guardian angel must be a fast flyer, because it killed the deer and he remained upright on 2 wheels. His leg he through up to push away from her is bruised and raw, but he is alive to tell the tale....... Scared this wife!!!

Hey girls, we are home from dinner. We have miss Kinsey spending the night, so this will be short!! I miss her so much, but right now she is on the porch blowing bubbles. We played a game of war (with cards) and I swear to you, in one round I was down to 11 cards!! It was hilarious! She was dancing the little jig, and giggling, she was so happy to be winning big!! Well we thought the deer and Rick both lived through it, we were wrong, he found her in the median this morning, she had a broken neck we figure. If you saw his leg, you'd know why---but if one of them lived to tell about it, I am more than thankful it went the way it did. He is still kinda freaked out about it, we all are. I know he has contemplated it happening, we live in a rural area, and spend HUGE amounts of time on the bikes---but to know you CAN and DO react in a wise manner is cool. Rather than freaking out and screaming and freezing, which is what I likely would have done! OK----off to run a bubble bath. Tomorrow I am going to go get my hair cut. Not as short as Michelles----but several inches----thinking 6-8 are GONE!!! I am off work until the 21st!! YAY!!! See ya later probably! Oh yeah!! I made 3 pounds towards the 5 as of this morning--------of course that was before my massive dinner, so we'll see what tomorrow says. LOL

Rick's ankle is pretty nasty looking, and his leg is bruised up. Of course his biggest hurt is his bike! LOL. I went out and looked at it with him last night, and just lost it, the tears were of such relief. Then again laying in bed with him last night thinking what 'could' have been......amazes me, and humbles me in numerous ways. He rode off to work today tho..... He works tomorrow, then we have a bazillion things we are supposed to do tomorrow-----few of which will actually happen!!! He has a company party in the park tomorrow, we are supposed to go to the Hot Rodders show----with the now dented bike! And my parents bought us tickets to go with them to the Bar D---which is a chuckwagon dinner in the mountains. With entertainment etc. My DD is bringing the new bf. We also have tickets to a Blues festival for tomorrow......and I had hoped to fit in time for a pedi and hair cut! After that, we are on vacation, but tossing ideas around as to what to do. We chose to "stay home" so any little trips will be near by. Banking the $$$ as opposed to going somewhere right now. Well clock says I have to go to work.....see ya tonight!

While I am against adding even more laws and such to the books, these last few things in CA should push them to add to theirs. Where I live in NM, they DO charge the family for police escort in funerals, and they charge if you have them closing intersections for the procession. 2 weeks ago my niece passed away, she was "special" and was EXTREMELY involved with the special olympics. There were many police officers attending the services that she had become close to doing runs with them, promoting SO. They (mortuary) told her Mom that there would be a charge for the escort to the cemetary etc. An expense that was deemed unnecessary, we felt we could all get there without the aid of the officers. In the end, several who attended the service did it anyway---and she was not billed...yet! No, I think they did it as their choice because she had become a part of their lives too. But the point is, it IS commonplace here to charge for that. If you have to have an officer at X amount of locations (like intersections in this instance) then it is going to add X amount of dollars to the service. It would have at least divied the cost up some. It could be standard, and applied for parades, rallies, whatever YOUR party is planning to interrupt the natural flow of traffic with. I know with something the size of MJ's funeral, it would have been above and beyond the scope of what LA could have charged----but it would have alleviated at least PART of the cost. IMHO if they were selling tickets to the services----there should have been a portion of each ticket price allotted to security. I just cannot believe we (news etc) are STILL talking about him!!!

Hey girls~ Weeks is almost over! YAY!!! They hired a billing clerk at work, which was supposed to free up the office manager to help me--she was supposed to run the front....but instead it gives her more time to run around "doing errands".......so no nothing has really changed. I still like the job, and I am without question always busy---they days fly by. So will quit complaining...it obviously is not getting me anywhere anyway!! Tonight I stopped in at Ricks work to get his check to take to the bank. They are having a big payroll upheaval. You have to re enter your direct deposit info or you get your paycheck on a debit card thing----grrrrr. So this week everyone got a paper check. So Rick tells me rather ominously "I need to talk to you" I thought laid off.... he says, "I wasn't going to even say anything now, but I think someone you know might have seen me, and I decided I would rather tell you" Now this is a man I trust implicitly! I am thinking WTH???? I ask him is it bad? Trying to delay, because I did not want to hear bad news! He tells me "I hit a deer this morning". So I knew he was going out to the field, and I thought he must have been speeding, and is headed for unpaid leave. So I said something to that way of thinking, and he stopped and looked at me real serious, and said "on the chopper". OMG!!!I freaked out! He raised his pant leg, and his leg is purple and brown bruised. he said he saw her headed out on the highway and he began shutting it down, but you do not lock brakes on a bike! So he saw the impact coming, he said he through his leg up planning on letting the bike slide out from under him, and his leg connected with the deers head, and slammed it back into the bike, and then the deer just went behind the front wheel which is stretched out there a good ways, and the 4 to 1's (exhaust pipes) hit her, they were covered in hair, and he rolled right over her! He said she was up and running when he saw her, and he managed to keep it on 2 wheels. He rode a couple of seconds further, pulled off and checked himself and the bike, and went on to work. He said a second faster and she would have hit the front tire, and it would have been all over. If she had raised up and hit his handlebars instead of dropping and going under it would have all been over.....still kind of shakes me up. He told me "It could have all been over today" So we are viewing it as a good sign----a positive, he is ok, if a bit bruised! Thank You God!! Today I began trying to adjust myself into contact lenses! We did not have what he wants me to wear in stock, so I am doing the distance vision, and will do the bi focals when we get back from vacation. It amazes me how crystal clear things appear to be! WoW!!! Of course with them, reading is an issue......If I can get it where the distance is this clear AND I can read, I will be a happy camper! I also got some casual glasses---they are blue! Not sure why I like them, but I did, so......they will only work with select things well, but I'll wear them match or not!! LOL Was good to hear from Pamela!!! Hope her birthday continues to be a wonderful day! Rick finished his Moms car. She never so much as offered him a bologna sandwich.....and tonight, just as we sat down to dinner, here come a couple of kids who used to work for him, needing help with a pick up---a big diesel, and he is still messing with it. He will be ready for vacation without a doubt! The mountain pics Terry posted are beautiful, but do not even show the height of the mountains, it is like the grand canyon, it does not translate into pics! The fireworks they put off in those little mountain communities like Steamboat, and Silverton where we went, the mortars booming, echoes off the mountains, it is incredible, you litterally feel the earth shake! If ever you get a chance to go in the area she is, GO!!! Well I am going to go hint that Ricks dinner is still sitting and grew cold an hour ago. See you tomorrow!

Happy belated Laura, I thought of you yesterday when dating files!!! Hope you had a great one! And that the love is as strong as it was 2 years ago! Happy, Happy, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE!!! Hope you have a wonderful day! Back to the inlaws for Rick to finish their car. Thinking I will take him something to eat as a hint to them that they could have at least fed him.....grrrrrr. I am hovering between 1.5 and 2 pounds towards my 5 for the month. I might make it.....we'll see!!! BBL Oh yeah I am on vacation next week, Dr is going to be in Nigeria.....

I will make it a full bust as for us helping you make a decision--I like the first one!! LOL I can see your beautiful coloring with the lace, and that scalloped lace along your collarbone, and the white of it, against the tone of your skin would be wonderful. I like the combination of sleeves with the strapless! Whichever you choose, you will be a gorgeous bride!!! Busy day-----Rick's Moms car through a timing belt, so he spent all evening repairing it. The shop wanted over $500.00 to do it, he worked 2 hours, and will work another 30 minutes or so tomorrow on it and be done! AND the reason he has more to do tomorrow is they are replacing the serpentine belt and something else----don't remember what---which was NOT included in the quote from the dealer! Youch! Laura, no matter how hard you try, you always have a bad Mommy moment sooner or later! I remember Manda had pulled a crying jag, and I had FINALLY rocked her to sleep, I got up so carefully to carry her to bed, and as I turned into her room I smacked her tiny little head on the door frame!!! I felt SOOOOO bad! Bad enough I STILL remember doing it! She survived, although that smack might explain some crazy things she has done! LOL Glad you are hanging in there Jenn! Stay strong Suzanne! Enjoy vacy Terry!! Catch the rest of you tomorrow! Will check in tomorrow.

I personally know someone who contacted the maker of her band, and was not given the run around, they stood behind the product. You should have a serial # and all info regarding your band when you call the company. Inamed was involved when the girl I knew dealt with it. Good Luck!

9:30 PM and there are still people here. Grrrrr Single men.....and showing no signs of leaving soon. So I come in to put food away, I am stopping in to say goodnight, and I am going to bed. Rick can finish entertaining!!! LOL See y'all tomorrow!

I feel crappy and now feel bad for feeling that way because so many of you are going through so much bad stuff! Not sure, I just have the blahs. Rick has his crew coming over today for a cook out so my "day off" is cancelled. He says "don't worry about it" yeah right. 6 couples assorted kids, and another 6 single guys--who all think bringing a 12 pack is the same as bringing food-----so I have been cooking for most of yesterday and this morning. And while he has tomorrow off, I do not. He is treating me VERY kindly as he knows I am ready to blow!!! Wine is helping....... Jenn try wine.... Suzanne help yourself to a glass too...... Laura, you aren't nursing now, try wine!!! Not really, not trying to turn you all into lushes like me!! I am not usually one to drink at things like this, I think I will need it today, there are people coming I do not like.....but there is no way to eliminate just certain employees..... And the guests begin to arrive.......wish me luck..... hugs to all of you going through crap, and I am so glad for those of you not!!! smooches

Suzanne, I think you need chocolate covered Valium right about now!! OMG I cannot believe how busy you stay!!! Tracy, good luck with the dsd situation, divorce is difficult at best and horrid most of the time. I hope all works out well with her living with you, I have to be honest, and say at this point in my life, I do not want a teenager!!! I just got a call a few minutes ago from the closest thing I have to a teenager---Megan! She come to me when she was 5 and a half weeks old, and stayed with me til she was entering high school!! It began as simple daycare, and by the time she could talk, she stayed with me as many nights as she left and went home. Even when she no longer come for day care, she walked down during lunch or after school a couple of times a week. I was her legal guardian if anything should happen to her parents. She was like my own, I love her dearly....BUT......now she wants me to take her for her driving test Thursday. I refuse, she cannot be that old...that makes me that much older. And I thought she loved me back!!! Yeah, yeah, yeah.... I am taking her Thursday at 10. Then we are going to have an early lunch. Her Mom has no idea what she is missing. I am willing to take time off to do this with her---I always went to her school programs, even to her back to school nights, because her Mom was either working or tired. Half her teachers through time, thought I WAS her Mom! And now she wants to drive....ay yi yi! Rick is looking for a good used car, her Dad ask us to keep an eye open, and he has a good lead on a little Honda, so maybe she will be driving for real soon!!! The last of "my" babies, and now it will be grandkids growing up too fast! Sorry Carson is sick Laura! Poor Darling!!! Hope it is short in duration. I guess we are meeting with all the kids (and Manda's new guy) and doing the big city Fireworks program tonight. They always do it on the 3rd, then there are several smaller ones on the 4th and it leaves you free to be with family. We are talking about driving up to Silverton. All you girls talking about Colorado would LOVE this place. You can stand in downtown Silverton and look around and see 7 different 14,000 foot mountains. And you can take jeep trips into most of them! It is an old silver mining town, and very historic, lots of mining still goes on. I have a cousin who owns a mine up there!! Anyway they have a big fireworks show too--so we are going with Becky & Gary to see them. Over 3 mountain passes to get there, and it is less than a 100 miles away! It is a climb! Everyone be safe----will be back in when time allows. Suzanne hope all your family is well.

Tracy....come to me!! LOL Come see me in NM---where I am literally minutes from the Colorado border, and I will take you to CO!!! Work was better today. Oh wait! That's cuz I work alone on Thurs.!!! Oh well, part of a day tomorrow, and then a weekend. Maybe I will cool off by then. I think Terry is going to Steamboat Springs. Cool place, they have the biggest, steepest ski jump you can imagine in the winter!!! They actually hold world class ski competitions there. Bridgestone-the tire people-have a winter driving school there, in the winter months. They have acres they flood and freeze into roadways and obstacles. Then they teach classes in everything from small vehicles to semis. My DH said it was so much fun! He has drove in winter conditions forever, but he said it was amazing the things he learned. Work pays for it, I never got to go....tis not cheap I figure! Well gotta go finish dinner. BBL

Hey girls, been a crappy couple of days---mainly yesterday. Hoping today will be an improvement. I almost walked out on my job yesterday. A man come in, told the office manager and I he was a new patient, and needed to be seen for an eye injury---which for malpractice reasons, even if you have 200 appointments has to be seen right then. So I built him a file, made a copy of his employee ID and approved his insurance, passed him on. Went in to assist with his appointment (which was part of MY job, where the other was not)and when we got in the exam room, he tells the Dr. he had seen him before. So I go look, and sure enough from 05 he was a patient. So I combined the files, went in, and we dealt with his eye. 3 hours later, after the office manager had looked over the combining of the files, and the billing clerk (NEW) had had the file, she comes to me and chews my ass for not getting the employee ID. I DID! She give me the silent treatment, acting like I was an idiot, and bitching non stop over how they cannot bill without the ID#. When I was filing another file, I found it between other files. Files that were there for billing, having not been anything I had dealt with, it happen on THEIR desk--------nothing was said. I almost walked. The ONLY thing that made me stay was word from Rick at noon that they are now talking about sending him to Wyoming.......so I spent the night back and forth between upset and pissed. Not great company, even here! Pamela, sorry I missed your send off, hope you are on your way to a wonderful vacation. Hugs!!! Will do my best to catch up with y'all tonight. My brother come in in the middle of my rant, and now I am out of time........just another grrrrrrr to my grrrrrrr day!!! LOL Hugs

Beth, I know you are in a spot with the dog being as your sister now is in on the protect the kid thing, but I'll tell ya, if that thing so much as nipped at me, I would hit the ER, and ship the bill directly to them. That alone would get animal control involved. Do they at least get the dogs vaccinations?? My Dad years ago used to drive a company truck, around in the hills checking well sites. He had several dogs who would chase him from farm roads, and he was always afraid of running one over. He had a vet tell him to get a small water pistol, and add a couple of teaspoons of vinigar to the water, and spray them in the face when they were running beside the truck. It will burn their eyes, but not harm them. He said it worked, they did not chase his truck. They knew the difference. He said he could be following another truck and they would chase it, then go to the side of the road and avoid his! So maybe take a water gun and make him afraid of you without harming him. I know that sounds like I am not a dog lover, and I am, but seriously---------no one is going to take care of you, sister is too concerned about keeping the marriage peaceful, and it sounds like she has a brat of a step son, who will only get worse since boundaries are not there.....sister may have a rough road ahead. Good luck Beth, vacation just lost some appeal I can tell. As for eating out, I do not have much of a fill, so can eat lunch or dinner without issue, and since breakfast is hard, I simply avoid it! I have learned to completely quit eating---and it really has become habit. To take a bite and quit. Then take another....and quit. The pauses are seldom if ever noticed. I always quote the ones who mention it, that it takes 20 minutes for your brain to recognize being full----and they shut up, and usually slow down themselves!!! Luckily I can still do part of a burger---maybe 1/4 of a small one. But I would have done the salad by choice.....so guess I am not much help. And yeah the cookies and brownies would have been an issue--but I have ALWAYS found Fuddrucker brownies to be a dissappointment, so that helps!! Try ONE--you might find the same! Gotta get to work----

Don't thank ME tap, it was my frustrated husband who finally layed it out for me one night when I was upset that he had not been as complimentary as I had hoped over a new outfit!!! LOL. And I had bought it, because it was something I thought he had paid special interest in one day before it would have fit me, he never even reacted!!! When I said to him, something about looking at it before, he was truly lost, he says he shows me things hoping something "clicks" and we can get the hell outta Dodge and be done shopping!!! Typical. Now, had we been perusing old greasy motorcycle parts, we could spend all day. But walk into a clothing store, and his time is limited!!! Good thing I have daughters!! Lu--did you do anything you can tell about for your birthday!!??

Count me in Tracy--------having a set goal seriously helps me! If I do more wonderful, but I know I will at least strive to make that -5!!! So glad everyone had safe trips---now Jane is still travelling??? If so BE SAFE JANE!!! And thank you again!!! We have had so much family in, and been having such a great time with them! We got a picture the other day of all the grandkids and great grandkids, and it is so big, it is hard to make out who is who!!! Last night there was well over a dozen great grandkids at my inlaws! Kinsey has been in hog heaven with all the kids, and the freedom they have to run out at the farm. Acres of land to roam and play! They took the kids to the ditch and let them fish for crawdads---they loved it!!! They are strictly a catch and release as far as I am concerned!!! Some family is heading home today---so things will slowly go back to normal. Was nice to gather for a good occasion for a change. Today I am going to lunch with my lap band friend from Durango, she is moving to TX, so it is a last get together for awhile anyway! Hate to see her go in a selfish manner, but if it is best for her I am glad she is moving forward! Well I need to make a quick couple of payments so guess I should do that and head to work. I was late yesterday---for the only time ever! There was an accident that shut down the road---some man hit a guy on a bike and they had the life flight helicopter landing on the road.....so lots of us were late I figure! Will see you later tonight, if I get in before 11 --- these late nights are getting to me!

Today was my first day to ever be late!!! A car accident stopped traffic to a standstill for over a half an hour. I called in.....and read a book. Hated losing the $$$ tho, it sucked, got up, got ready should have been there, on the clock, but was stuck on the road instead!!! Always early!

Ebony, my DH told me that this was a difficult position for him to be in, from the very beginning, he has felt like he was walking a tight rope. When I began discussing lap band, he said he felt like if he was gung ho behind me, I would take it that he was unhappy with me the way I was. And if he was not supportive enough I might take it, he was against spending the money. Then when I began losing the weight, he was afraid to be super happy for me, because what if I thought he disliked me before, or what if I did gain it back, then I might think he would never find me attractive again. And yet if he was not happy for me, would I think he didn't like me losing weight???? When the weight really began dropping fast in the beginning, and the mood swings hit, he said he was scared to open his mouth sometimes, and all he wanted to do, was be happy for me in the moment. He has said he loves me however I am. He finds many women attractive of different sizes, and I now notice more a personality type, a confidence, and attitude is more common among them, than size or hair color etc. He said it is a hard thing to balance.....maybe your man is dealing with some of the same. Especially if you are being a bit insecure with wondering who and what he finds attractive. Many times men don't even KNOW why they find someone attractive, it isn't necessarily the size of their________________fill in your mans blank---it like us is often an emotional pull of some sort. There are men I think are attractive as hell, and in a classic handsome look, they don't fit at all--but something about them..... I think talking to someone would be a great plan!

It is going to HAVE to be kept civil, and simply argue the points, and quit calling names and attacking one another individually, or the thread will simply be closed..... While that will not stop the strong opinions, it will stop them from happening here. There are other threads dealing with MJ, everyone can either stay here and debate his issues, and quit the attacks, or I can guarantee someone with more clout than I will shut it down.

Still here Suzanne, has been a big day. My SIL her DS, DIL and 5 grandkids showed up late last night. BIL, SIL, their DS, his wife and 2 DD's showed up today. A niece and her boyfriend got here yesterday. And all of us that actually live here! Kinsey was in hog heaven!!! At one point she ask me about my great niece, who is 2, she says "Granny who is Kaycee?" I said she is your cousin sitting right next to you---she tells me "She isn't my cousin, cousins are boys!" Every cousin she has living here is a boy! We do have my oldest granddaughter but seldom see her, Kinsey would not know her.....so all of her other cousins ARE boys!!! So anyway I am exhausted. Another BUSY day tomorrow, that is when the anniversary party is. SIL still looks rough, although her eyes appear less sunken. She is still barely eating. I gorged tonight, just to show I can! She has everyone convinced the band is death personified.......grrrrrrrrr Gotta hit the shower and head to bed. Be safe Alabama girls!!! See ya tomorrow Suzanne & Suzy!

Pot smoking days? Who us? Personally I can't remember!!! Possibly why we refer to it these days as "cannibus stupidus"........ sign me DUH

Goodnight Suzanne---sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite!!! Company finally arrived......oh joy! Just got Kinsey out of the tub, time for a bedtime story and sleep now. Sounds like the girls are having fun!!! See ya tomorrow Suzanne!! nighty night!

It IS difficult Glou, for just the reasons you say--------it is a crappy age to be stuck at. HOWEVER, unlike your bosses son, he IS old enough to distinguish right from wrong, and keep himself and his surrounding clean, as can your DD who is similar in age. He DOES know to hang out with your DD is not something he can do, although he would enjoy the hell out of the juvenile humor and companionship. MJ could not have gone as far as he did, without similar intelligence at the very least. He KNEW better. I do not believe he was childlike in his mind. Maybe with the help of drugs, he could see himself that way----but he was not stupid, he was not mentally retarded from childhood, the innocent, half child half man was a persona HE CREATED. Was it mental illness brought on by stresses, and drugs? Possibly. A breakdown may have left him with diminished capabilities. But to know to have alarms and to hide it, signals a knowledge that it is wrong. If it is not wrong, you have no need to hide it. Going to and from court when it all went on, you could see he was not permanently childish, it came and went at will. One only needs to live with someone who has no choice in how they act due to brain injury or handicap to recognize a sham.