Kat817

Yes you are entitled to half of the assets. But before even mentioning this to him, find an attorney!!!!! You do not have to leave the home, even after having him served with papers. Having him served will keep hom from withdrawing money or stocks, or selling anything, without your approval. It will also keep him from removing you from insurance policies, or joint accounts, without your knowledge, without being in contempt of the courts. When he gets served all hell will break loose----expect it, but get it legal BEFORE even discussing it with him. His temper sounds way too volatile to have a reasonable discussion over this. If you cannot get to an attorney THIS WEEK....then start a file, showing bank balances, credit card balances....begin looking carefully over those bills. Keep record of what you have at this time, and make detailed notes of WHY the paperwork is being documented. It will protect you. It is all admissable. Anything you need an EXACT date on, print up, then mail to yourself, leave it unopened once you receive it, even if you have it mailed to your parents or a friends. The post mark will show WHEN it was documented, but only if it is in an unopened condition. If he calls you names, or threatens to pack you up out of the house again, document the time he said it, exactly what he said etc.....it is verbal assault. There may come a time you need the history to prove it. When you tell your children, they will likely have serious problems with it, but they are adults, heading through the same life we are, and they will adjust. Just keep in mind that surely you do not want your DD to think that she is expected to stay with her DH regardless of how she is treated, you want her to be strong, and never take this crap----! She may hate you leaving her Dad, but when it comes down to it, in the end they will respect the decision. I was divorced many years ago, but had a DD go through one more recently----and the big thing they pounded into her was DOCUMENTATION!!!!!!!!!!! Anything and everything that can be beneficial to you----get ready to prove it! Find the cell phone bills, copy them! Look out for yourself! If you ever need to vent come here, if you need to talk, let us know we will listen, heck, I'll send you my #. Keep in mind he may be able to keep track of what you are doing on the computer-----cover your butt! Keep your head about you, let some of the emotion come out in getting yourself organized----it will not hurt, even if everything in the end works out. ((((HUGS))))) to you-----been there, and it sucks, but NEVER as bad as living the life you are now. I realized it was much lonlier in the room with him than in the room alone. When alone I didn't expect anyone to speak to me, or relate....with him there, I did, and we just didn't connect anymore...... I feel your pain----and we WILL be here!!!! Kat

Hi girlies---we had a fairly uneventful day---not a great one, but it could have been MUCH worse!!!! Rick is having some problems with water retention and swelling. We thought for awhile we were going to have to go back to Albq. but it seems to be resolving itself now----hoping so anyway! They put the tiniest pink cast on Kinsey today....it has already helped her to get around, by crawling, without causing it to hurt, it caused it to move so it hurt before. She still cannot put any weight on it, I was helping her to go to the potty since she cannot stand---and she tried to put weight on it, and her whole little body just quivered---and she whined owie a few times, then went on with it. She is going to be ok, but it is actually broke (all green brakes) in several places, he said it looked like she had landed on something when she jumped. So we drew some flowers on her cast, and painted her toenails.....tried to make it better! Dianne---have you had the services yet? Once that is over, it will make things more finalized, and you can all begin to heal a little. It is a horrible time for you all---I wish we could help. Betty---did it ever quit raining on y'all???? Well I wish our girls would check in---I miss em! Kat

Hi girlies---we had a fairly uneventful day---not a great one, but it could have been MUCH worse!!!! Rick is having some problems with water retention and swelling. We thought for awhile we were going to have to go back to Albq. but it seems to be resolving itself now----hoping so anyway! They put the tiniest pink cast on Kinsey today....it has already helped her to get around, by crawling, without causing it to hurt, it caused it to move so it hurt before. She still cannot put any weight on it, I was helping her to go to the potty since she cannot stand---and she tried to put weight on it, and her whole little body just quivered---and she whined owie a few times, then went on with it. She is going to be ok, but it is actually broke (all green brakes) in several places, he said it looked like she had landed on something when she jumped. So we drew some flowers on her cast, and painted her toenails.....tried to make it better! Dianne---have you had the services yet? Once that is over, it will make things more finalized, and you can all begin to heal a little. It is a horrible time for you all---I wish we could help. Betty---did it ever quit raining on y'all???? Well I wish our girls would check in---I miss em! Kat

Hi girlies---we had a fairly uneventful day---not a great one, but it could have been MUCH worse!!!! Rick is having some problems with water retention and swelling. We thought for awhile we were going to have to go back to Albq. but it seems to be resolving itself now----hoping so anyway! They put the tiniest pink cast on Kinsey today....it has already helped her to get around, by crawling, without causing it to hurt, it caused it to move so it hurt before. She still cannot put any weight on it, I was helping her to go to the potty since she cannot stand---and she tried to put weight on it, and her whole little body just quivered---and she whined owie a few times, then went on with it. She is going to be ok, but it is actually broke (all green brakes) in several places, he said it looked like she had landed on something when she jumped. So we drew some flowers on her cast, and painted her toenails.....tried to make it better! Dianne---have you had the services yet? Once that is over, it will make things more finalized, and you can all begin to heal a little. It is a horrible time for you all---I wish we could help. Betty---did it ever quit raining on y'all???? Well I wish our girls would check in---I miss em! Kat

Look in the phone book in your area for Vector Control, many places spray at your request, and also have mosquito eating fish available to put itno ponds etc. It is worth a quick phone call! Good Luck! Kat

Hi all, we are home. Ablation went really well. Rick already says he feels much better. His heart rate has dropped by about half! The way he described it was breathing with a quiver, where you feel your heart beating through your breathing, as if you just had a near miss accident or something....and now there is no quiver, and the heart rate is back into the 60's!!! The Dr. seemed really happy with the results. We don't go back for 6 weeks if all goes well. Yeehaw!!! Kinsey is still refusing to even attempt to put weight on her foot. The ortho will see her again in the morning for another set of Xrays to determine if the fracture is opening any. They said to let her set her own pace, if she can walk, let her---but she won't, she cries, not a pouty cry---a pained cry so no one of course pushes her. Glad to see all is going well. Tracy has me wondering with all her ex's and nuns.....tell us whats going on girl!!! And where's our picture?? Laura---everything getting set for the wedding? BTW Laura---I have flipped, but my port has not for over a year! Welcome to the new Violet! You are right, this group talks about anything----and they don't put people down for having different ideas, or different Dr.'s orders, different lifestyles, nothing. They are accepting, and supporting, and you have stumbled upon one of the best threads on the site!!! Glad to have you. OK, I am off to inform some others that we survived the latest ordeal---will check in on y'all tomorrow! Kat

Hi all, we are home. Ablation went really well. Rick already says he feels much better. His heart rate has dropped by about half! The way he described it was breathing with a quiver, where you feel your heart beating through your breathing, as if you just had a near miss accident or something....and now there is no quiver, and the heart rate is back into the 60's!!! The Dr. seemed really happy with the results. We don't go back for 6 weeks if all goes well. Yeehaw!!! Kinsey is still refusing to even attempt to put weight on her foot. The ortho will see her again in the morning for another set of Xrays to determine if the fracture is opening any. They said to let her set her own pace, if she can walk, let her---but she won't, she cries, not a pouty cry---a pained cry so no one of course pushes her. Mandy---if the hysterectomy is what you need, I personally am so glad it was done....life became so much simpler! Keep us posted. Betty, Chris, Cindy, Patty, Dianne-- thanks so much for the support messages! All of you have been so supportive, and I do appreciate it! Well I am off to let others know we survived another round---will check in with you all tomorrow! Kat

Hi all, We managed one test today, the other they postponed until in the morning just prior to the procedure. They found that he has seriously diminished heart function, he is only operating at 37% of normal. That was a very upsetting shock. We have to be at the hospital at 6:30 AM. Surgery following the test which begins at 9. I have no signal at the hospital....dammit. So will check in again when we get home. So as if I was not stressed enough coming to do this....my 2 1/2 year old granddaughter that I babysit for most days...is hurt. She got in trouble, got a swat and a timeout for jumping off of the couch. Amanda is always onto her for climbing and jumping. Well she hadn't been out of the corner for 10 minutes she said and she jumped off of her toybox...and broke her ankle!!! She has extremely delicate bones, and the normal daredevil of a 2-3 year old. But she is still under 20 pounds, and in 12 month size clothes, she is just tiny. She is on target for developement, she is talking well, and potty trained, just a little thing. Anyway, leaving her was so hard!!! The ortho said Kinsey has a green fracture of her ankle. But that it should heal well, and quickly. She told me she wanted to come to my house and snuggle in the big couch---I felt so bad not being there!!! Well I am off to try to get some sleep....will be in touch. Thanks so much for all the good wishes. HUGS!!!! Kat<!-- google_ad_section_end --><!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

Hi all, We managed one test today, the other they postponed until in the morning just prior to the procedure. They found that he has seriously diminished heart function, he is only operating at 37% of normal. That was a very upsetting shock. We have to be at the hospital at 6:30 AM. Surgery following the test which begins at 9. I have no signal at the hospital....dammit. So will check in again when we get home. The ortho said Kinsey has a green fracture of her ankle. But that it should heakl bowell, and quickly. She told me she wanted to come to my house and snuggle in the big couch---I felt so bad not being there!!! Well I am off to try to get some sleep....will be in touch. Kat

Continued hugs and prayers for you and your family Dianne. Rick and I have to leave to get to Albuquerque in 5 hours---I am still awake, waiting to hear from my DD, who has my 2 year old granddaughter at the ER, they think she may have broke her leg, right at the ankle, jumping off of her toybox. Something she had just got out of the corner for about 10 minutes before Amanda heard her scream. I went with her, but when her Dad showed up, they made one of us leave, so I come home to get finished up with our stuff we need to take to ABQ. I stressed all day, watching Rick stress........he is extremely nervous. Then we had a "dinner" with my DIL's grandparents (they raised her), and the woman is very 'in your face'....blunt, demanding kind of person. We had met, but Rick had never met her. She comes up when my DIL introduced them, and she says "So you are Rick? Well, look at you, you are pretty skinny for a fella with heart problems, I'd a thought you'd be a biggun', well like Kathy was" None of us knew how to respond!!! Then she corners me and is whispering all these band questions at me. I told her everyone knows, and explained it all to her, because she acted like it was her business, and I figured what the heck! So we get done with that somewhat stressful meal, and we go home. We had made arrangements to meet this woman to buy a trailer (small pull behind flatbed), so we were off doing that when my DD called. Then DH's Mom calls, and they too have decided to drive to ABQ for this. So I have Rick, Kinsey, and now 2 sets of very poor driving parents coming into the city. My stomach rolled and hurt, acid in abundance! I was in the shower, and knew it was coming, barely made it out and to the commode, before tossing everything......so now I get to worry about my band as well. And through it all, I feel lucky not to be in Dianne's shoes. Will check in as I can tomorrow. DD just called, it is indeed a hairline fracture in the ankle area he believes, they splinted her, and said to let her be for 2 days, and if in 2 days she can bear any weight, then it is minor enough not to worry about. If she cannot then she has an appointment with a pediatric orthopedist. She is sleeping now, so must be feeling some better. They are going to run some tests, they are concerned with how easily she is breaking bones. She broke the other leg when she was barely a year old, it stuck in a baby rocker, and crumpled the bone, and now this. He said it could be just that she is pretty small boned. She is 2 1/2 years old, and barely wears a 12 month size in clothes, and is about 18 pounds. But she is as active and advanced as normal 2 1/2 year olds, she is potty trained, and talking a blue streak---she is just very petite. I hope she is ok....she is the light of my life....I just cannot tell you. Well the alarm is set for 4 AM, and it is now almost 11:30---I have to try to get some sleep. Talk to you all soon. Keep Rick and Kinsey and my traveling parents in your prayers please!!! (((((Hugs)))) Kat

Hi Lisa, Dr. Aceves' staff helped me set up more local aftercare, but they do continue to be in contact. It is now by email, as opposed to the beginning it was by phone. I have spoke with their office by phone, when referring a couple of friends down to him. Actually I spoke with him, (and yes it was him, not a staff member) because one friend was going down to be banded by him, and another friend who had already been banded by Rumbaut (sp?), was going to accompany her and was wanting a fill while she was there. She was very happy with her original surgeon, but since she was going to be in Mexicali with the other friend she wanted to know if Aceves would fill her. We talked for well over a half an hour, about how I was doing, what my diet was like etc. Then he ask about the area I lived in...how my family felt about the surgery, all kinds of things. He said he would do my friends fill for just the cost of the hospital charges on fluoro, which she said was like $85.00. She said he gave her loads of info concerning her band that she didn't know. She was pleased with her experience, as was the friend who went down for Aceves to band. What usually happens is I get a generic "how are you doing?" type of email, and then when I answer the questions and send it back, I get a personal email back from one of the group. They usually ask about my sister in law who went to be banded with me, because she never answers her email!!! But, they ask, so it shows me at least they have an idea of who they are talking to! I have never had issues which required me to talk to them ASAP---so I can't be of much help in how they respond that way. Welcome to LBT, I will be glad to help in any way I can answering questions. I will be out of town for several days begining early in the morning, my DH is having heart procedures done. But will respond as soon as I return. Good Luck in your research! Kat

Hmmm Denise's signature works on my page too. You can adjust your view, to move your ads from the right to the left etc. under userCP. You can also choose to eliminate the smiling girl at the top of the LBT opening page, so you may be able to change other settings to let things fit your page better. Rick has his testing done on Tuesday the 12th, with a TEE being done at 8:30 AM, where they put a camera down into the esophagus (sound familiar???) but they use it to look at the back side of the heart! It is a trans-esophageal echocardiogram. Then he has a form of a drug induced (not the thalium---I forgot exactly what it is, and I have our paperwork put away in the suitcase already) stress test done at 12:30. They said both tests take 3-4 hours each. Then he is free to go with me to dinner and to the motel, and I have to have him back for the procedure/surgery at 6:30 AM Wednesday the 13th. Thank you all for your prayers, knowing I have you all to vent to, and discuss this with, and just cry to if needed helps more than I know how to tell you!!! What a great group of friends you have become to me!!! Well I took my granddaughters to get ice cream tonight---the woman who owns the ice cream shop is a friend of ours, she had Gastric Bypass surgery 4 years ago. She lost about 85 pounds, looks good, and has maintained it well. She never got that starving sick look to her. She knows I have had the band, so she always gives me a baby cone....and no more!!! She said in her line she had to have a way not to have sweets! She can now eat some but not much. Well I am off to visit with DH a bit.... TTYL!!!! Kat

Well I am this groups Band Granny....!!!! But here are my stats---- Banded 04/24/06 1.75 cc's in a 10cm band designed to hold up to 4cc.'s (I think is how they told me!!!) I have had 2 fills, have not been adjusted since last July, and still have restriction! I have lost 91.5 pounds. Would do this again in a heartbeat!!! This may fall along the lines of Judy's hooha issue and be TMI----but along with "seeing" it again, other things change as well---and improve A LOT!!!!! Seems as though if you can see it, it works better---imagine that!!! Tomorrow we are having an early dinner with my DIL's grandparents who we have never met, then we will be leaving for Albuquerque to have Ricks heart fixed. Getting nervous. My Mom and Dad are going to come down to be with me. Which is good/bad!!! I am very glad they are going to be there, but them opting to come, puts it to where our kids are not going to be able to. Son is busy with his new inlaws, and was really struggling with his wife, over it, she was livid that he was going to leave, so we convinced him to stay. My SIL to be is in Houston for 2 weeks with work, so my DD is home alone with both kids...so with her daughter she could call on her ex, and let her stay with Daddy, but not the stepdaughter....and if my Mom isn't home, she has noone to leave them with. The other person she has watch them is her sister on her Dads side, and she just got married yesterday and is off honeymooning....so no kids will be there. DH is fine with that, I am too for the most part, I realize it can't be helped. I will be glad to have my parents. I am surprised, but none of DH's family is going---I think it is because they are pissed off at me, but too bad! We will be fine. I would not admit it to him, but I am afraid to go alone. The last ordeal with him, when he had the GI bleed, and the Dr. told me he would likely expire (oh how I hate that word now!!!) in the next 10 minutes----I have no idea what I would have done if I were alone....I am scared to face this alone now. I don't tell him that tho. Anyway---please remember him in your prayers girls---. Well, I am off to take a walk, while it has cooled down. Will check in with you guys later!!! Kat

Sounds like you violets are doing well!!! Terry, we all have our days---hope your blue mood passes quickly. It is always easier for others to see the change in us. I know personally as I gained weight, I did not realize how much in reality, until I saw pictures or caught sight of myself unaware in a mirror. It took a long time for the reality of how big I got to sink in. Now it is taking equally as long for it to go away. IN my mind, and when I see me in an unflattering position (some jiggly part!!!)....or my scale sits tight, I see myself in my minds eye, exactly as I used to be. You are not alone, last week Lunasa hit the low----and you were there supporting her! Hormones are closely tied in to weight loss, so it could be that, but I do know it is something we all go through---you are not alone, and you most definitely are not thr things you called yourself----you are just like the rest of us----you are a real "loser"!!!!! Hugs---hang in there!!!!!! Got everything packed today, ready to go. I need to clean the car. I cannot stand leaving, and my house not being CLEAN! I want to come home to it in good shape, not have things to do the second I get back. I also hate to travel in a messy car! I want it clean, and organized!!! Nothing like being picky. Well I am having a hard time with the Video for my folks anniversary. It plays perfect on the computer. When I burn it to DVD there are skips in the music, like an old record player when the needle skipped (yes I know some of you have no idea about this!!!). So we tried burning it to CD....and it will not even play. At the church, it will be being played through a computer set up, so will likely play fine, but I want a copy for my parents to enjoy---and cannot get it to burn right. It ended up with about 120 pictures, and is just over 12 minutes long. 7 seconds to each picture, plus transitions, and a lead in. There are 4 songs. It actually ended up perfect, we figured we could add a couple or delete a couple to get to the exact point of ending on the song, and it come out perfect!!! On the computer it is great!!! Today I hit Sams Club---stupid move on a Saturday I know---and got the punch cups, and the plastic ware for the luau. Also bought some luau music, and found some capris I LOVE!!! Ok girlies----hang in there......each day with these bands is a new one, and just when you think you have it figured out, or are ready to give up, it changes!!!! So if we all hang in there together, we will make it!!! Kat

I sent you an email, to your home address when I got this email from you Dianne---and I repeat, we will have you all in our prayers. My heart goes out to you all, your sister is very lucky to have you coming to be with her. Safe travels! Kat

Laura Darlin', diamonds go with anything, and are kind of like flowers, they all go "together". It is a beautiful ring guard by the way. So far everything you have shown us, proves you have excellent taste! DF must be a great guy if you chose him!! Today, was a lazy day for me. I went with my DD, 2 granddaughters, and my best friend for a mani/pedi. Yes, the same ol' broad who was branding bulls yesterday has a standing mani/pedi appointment. My FIL laughs about me being the prissiest cowgirl he ever met!!!! We had the girls nails painted. They are all in a wedding tomorrow. My DD's sister on her Dads side, is marrying the jerk she has been living with!!! My DD is the maid of honor, and the girls are a junior attendant and the flower girl. We had a lot of fun, then we walked next door to.....Cold Stone Creamery....I ate a kid size, and was happy. Then we went to dinner with my best friend and her husband, now kicking back, doing some laundry so I can pack tomorrow. Sounds like you are all handling your fills, and your diets so well---I am proud of you!!! Shrinking like crazy too!!! I drop a pound, and regain it. I know it is not the right time for a fill. I really don't think it is a fill issue, but a food choice thing with me! Plus the stress that I am headed for, I didn't want to face with a new fill. Will get to work when I get back. Watch what I eat while he is healing, and we can walk together. Ok ladies, I am off to get some much needed housework done. Will check in soon! Keep up the most excellent work!!! Kat We also went this morning and ordered a new shop building to be put up in the back part of our property. It is going to be 24X 36 ---I am considering adding an office out there. I ebay a lot of motorcycle parts, and it would be nice to be able to log on out there, to list them.

Laura, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the dress!!!! I can't wait to see your pictures of you in it. With your coloring to highlight the white, I agree, you will look wonderful!!! We had a busy day, began it by branding bulls----nasty tempered beasts!!! Then we bucked bales, and stacked it into the lower barn. Then I had an "exchange of words" with my DIL....!!! Nothing real serious, but enough to irritate me. I got past it, and we all went to dinner together tonight...ourDD and her family, and the DS and his family. Once again the DIL ended up on my sh*t list! She lets my poor grandson do anything...and I do mean anything, he throws food, and hissy fits, is not pleasant to be around, and that just makes me feel so sad/mad. I want to tell her being a Mother is more than childbirth, and loving him, is not just letting him do any damn thing he wants! Oh well.....I keep hoping it will change, but it doesn't. TracyK---great pics, you can easily see the change. I am built just like you, skinny legs, no butt---but the top half more than makes up for it. I have lost wonderfully in the lower half. From a 22/24 pants, to loose 14's. But my tops have only gone from a 28/30---to some 18/20's, but occasionally I still have to buy 22's. I can now wear mens XL though....finally. I began this at a 46 to a 48 DDD. Now I am in a 40DD...when I get done, I expect to be in a 38 LONG!!!!! Haydee if I could give you some to balance you out we could make a trade!!! We are all built so differently!!! I have had my 2 fills, and never had anything to numb it. My first fill was unreal, I cannot count how many times I was poked! My fill Dr.'s office was in transition, in the process of moving to a newly constructed office/surgical center. He poked me a bunch of times, and finally gave up, and filled out paperwork for me to go to the hospital---as his machinery for the fluoro, was moved already. Before we went, he was going to try to fill my SIL, and her port was easy to find. She carried all her weight in her hips and thighs----he got it first try! So since we were banded by the same Dr. he decided to take a chance and hit me in the same spot....and he got it! Then I had to go have it looked at (on his dime) to make sure it was all ok...and it was. So I thought the 2nd fill would be simpler, and it was, he only had to hunt through 4-5 pokes!!! But it still wasn't ever a big deal, I must just be a tough old broad. We always go shopping, and then have a 5-6 hour drive home. I really need to do some laundry tomorrow, and get ready to pack things for out trip to get Rick's procedure done. I found a couple of books and stashed them to the side, so I can read. Also going to take the laptop----most hospitals have WIFI so I should be able to log on, and let you know how it goes. Rick's ex wife has hassled us for YEARS over $$$ she feels she is owed for back support, and settlements. He lost vision in one eye due to a work accident the same day the judge signed their divorce decree. She has fought it all the way to the NM Supreme Court, trying to get part of his settlement. Then she has filed saying that our RV rentals were up and running back when the kids were under age and we paid support....even though they lived with us 5 out of 7 days a week! The incomes were so different, we still ended up paying her so she could have acceptable quarters for them to stay in during her weekends (which she seldom took them). Anyway, she has been doing collection calls for this attorney for several years, (as well as other companies), so he represents her free of charge, so we have been in court with her for years, over one issue or another. We on the other hand have not had free representation---and have spent over $60 K defending ourselves!!! Yep 60K. So today we finally paid off our attorney, and got some cool news. Back in 1995 her attorney sent ours a filing, that our attorney researched and replied to, only to have the courts ask what it was---her attorney had claimed to file it and had not. The court fined the attorney $1600.00, and made her liable for our attorney fees acrued in responding, which was originally $1300.00. Well he put a lien on her home, because she never paid it. When we paid off the remaining $7000. yesterday, he told us WE get the lien!!!! It has been adding interest for 12 years. She used to tell us not to get to comfy in our new house, she would be the one living in it soon. So I find it highly ironic that now WE hold a lien on HER house!!! Just to clarify---she left with one of Rick's best friends, left both kids....and was gone for 4 years, before returning. Then the courts gave her joint custody! Go figure!!! Anyway---I am breathing a huge sigh of relief, no more payments to an attorney, which we have done for 15 years! AND we have her where she cannot sell, refinance, use her home as collateral---nothing. Meanwhile, the kids she has been battleing about their Child support----are now 27 and 24!!! We have property that we worked for years to improve, and install septic systems, and electrical poles, and water lines...so we could rent out lots for RV's or small trailers. We had it up and were renting lots for a couple of years before the youngest was 19 (we had to pay through their 18th year). So she has been fighting to get her share of what we made on that. So she has sued us and my inlaws repeatedly over it. I am so glad to be free!!!!!! Sue me again witchy poo, and we will foreclose so fast your head will explode!!! Sorry for going on forever, this has just been a huge damper on our lives, and it is now behind us. When the Supreme Court of NM handed down our win, there is nowhere else for her to appeal! She may find a new loop she tries, but now we too have leverage! Tracy---be cautious...if restriction hits suddenly, you will not be able to eat even half of the burger you used to!!! OK, off to catch up some emails----Hugs to everyone!!! I will check in when I can! Kat

Me too.....PICTURES....PICTURES....PICTURES!!!!! Seriously Mandy---glad the surgery is over, and she has a new friend to concentrate on as she heals. Now get YOU taken care of! Great idea, with the clothes, I know just where to call. Guess in my brain----all abused women are thin.....what a dummy I am! Well, Rick is off from here until they release him following the procedure. He has a pre-op appointment tomorrow, and then one to get his bloodwork done. With him being off....I don't know exactly what we will or won't be doing, so if I go AWOL don't worry. I'll be taking my laptop to the hospital, and will be checking in, til then don't worry. I say that, and he'll be busy, and I'll be here vegging at the puter!!! Talk to y'all soon! Kat

Oh yes, Laura, I do not for a second doubt, that downsizing, and marrying in Vegas, or anywhere will be something you are sorry about as long as you get to make the decisions yourself. Think about you and your DF, and what makes you happy.....and go with it. Work on making it personal and special to the 2 of you. You will be snuggling and remembering that day with him for the rest of your life...not his folks, or yours, or a grouchy bridesmaid. Make it a day for you guys to love. If standing in a running car wash and declaring your love is what you want to do---do it, this is YOUR life. They had their weddings, and you are entitled to yours. It should not be something that causes family conflict, or conflict between you and DF. Nor should it be something that is going to cost you for the next 10 years. Sounds like it is time for you and DF to become a team of "You and Me against the World" kind of thing.....make it your goal to make each other happy regardless of whether they agree or understand. He is going to be your mate.....not them. I support your boycott----go on-----make yourself happy!!! All the meetings, and such were obviously NOT making you happy, they were stressing you out big time!!! Viva Las Vegas Baby!!!! Or Viva the local park.....wherever YOU choose!! Kat

HI all! Judy, I did get your PM, and will share it with my kids, to keep in mind, if she struggles in 1st. I have only had 2 days to closely observe...and in all honesty, it looks to me as though consistency, and lack of personal attention are the main problems. If I take the time, to get her full attention, and explain or show her...she has no problems. Now that her home life is going to settle down, and she is so happy about it, it is just downright sad. She wanted to live with her Daddy, and my DD so badly....and she was for the most part, but when it was time for her Mom to get some CS she would demand her to come home. Long enough to get a check, then she would call about leaving her for a few hours, and come back a couple of weeks later. She must have told me 25 times in the last month that she gets to live with them ALL the time, and she and Kinsey are really going to be sisters, she is just so much more relaxed, I believe the consistency in her life will improve her abilities as well. Her Dad and my DD met with her teacher, the counselor, and the principal of the school when the court ruled in his favor. They let it be known she is not allowed to leave with Mom etc. So that may have been some of the reason they chose to send her on to 1st grade...I don't know. Awww Lunasa---hang in there Hon....it was very apparant to me that the words of wisdom you shared with all of us here, come from someone who feels all things on a very deep level. Unfortunately for you, what allows you to understand our fears, and disappointments---is the same part of you that makes you feel your own so deeply. Some of what you are feeling is emotional, of course, and likely some is actually caused by fluctuating hormonal levels, changing as the "diet" we are now eating makes different things in our systems hit unusual highs and lows. It has to be part of it---I think everyone hits them! And not just band patients---anyone who begins a new eating regime. Makes you wonder if some of these feelings are not why the stats are so high for WLS patients becoming alcoholics, etc. We go through these emotional swings, and many people soothe them with alcohol. As the years go by, they will find out all these things---we my friends are the guinie pigs!!! But thanks to these bands, Guinie pigs are the only kind of pigs we will be!!! Lunasa, if you need to try on your old clothes a few times to remind yourself how it has changed, do it! Take some pampering time for you! Do like the others, paint your toenails, the ability to do it, will be another NSV! Back to the taco debate.....did you calculate what the one taco was calory wise? It doesn't seem like a horrid choice to me...meat, veggies, cheese. The shell is the worst of it. I have no intentions of giving up my occasional taco!!! TracyKS---I agree, your boss, sees the changes in you---both in your body, the way you eat...your overall outlook....I don't for a second believe he ask it because you look like you are PG, but because you have changed in a way he cannot put his finger on...I too think it is funny. Take it as a compliment! I have had 3 people in 2 days act shocked that my granddaughters are my granddaughters, and not MY kids.......oh how thankful I am that I am not full time Mommy to a 2 & 6 year old!!!! But I felt thrilled that they thought I was!!! Well I am not sure what the next week or so will hold. Rick is off now until 2 weeks following his procedure---which will make it the end of the month, which is right at my party for my parents! So I will be hit & miss during that time. I will be here, but likely not as often---don't panic, I'll check in. And I'll be thinking of you guys!!! Kat

You can also reach Dr. Aceves' through 1-760-646-1828. Nina gave me this number as a back up--it is through her I believe, but I also used to chat with Ruben, scheduling my stateside follow up care. The last # had for Yolanda was1- 619-962-8142. Sonia may have more current info, but the # they have on my last email is the same as she provided only instead of 800, it is a 1-888 #. I am glad you ask this, I usually just talk to them when they call or reply to their emails, I need to keep numbers handy too!!!! The email I get comes from www.bandafterwls.com . Let us know how it goes. Kat

Prayers for Abi, have continues, and will stay that a way!!! I spent hours today scanning in pictures, and making a disc for my parents 50th anniversary. It has pictures from them as babies, on through the years, them meeting, their wedding, the years as a young couple, then a young family, growing family, grandbabies, and now great-grandbabies. I included pictures of their parents, and siblings, as well as some of my brother and I---them and their family. I put several songs on it they like. One of the things they "do" is dance. They love to dance. Years ago when I was born and in the following years, my Dad worked for ElPaso Natural Gas, and they had small "camps" out in the middle of nowhere---30 or so houses, for the families of the men who worked that location. They held dances weekly. Then they moved on to dancing at a local VFW, and on to the Senior citizens Center now. So I made another short on the end of their disc, all pictures of them dancing, to George Straits song, I Just Want To Dance With You. It is pretty cool, they go from 20 to 70 in several photos. The first disc has about 100 pictures on it. I think they will love it. I used some music they have always considered special to them....including a Jim Reeves song they consider "Theirs". It took me a long time to figure out the program, but I am happy with the results, I know they will be too! We are thinking about taking a ride to the Grand Canyon this weekend, if Rick and our Son get his boat back in the Water. Rick promised him he would help him. So if Thursday gets him afloat again, he wants to ride out Friday and home Sunday. It is a fun ride. He is trying to cram a lot of riding in before he gets grounded again with lifting limits. Sherry---WTG with the exercise, you are so good!!! I should do better, I walk every morning, I love to go out when it is that time of day, especially now when school is out, and I don't have to dodge the crazy kids!!! But my eliptical trainer is sitting there with clothes piled on it, I am trying to give away! I hate just getting rid of them....I wish I had someone who needed them! That room is my project for tomorrow...fun fun fun! Well I am off to read for a few minutes and go to bed early tonight. See y'all tomorrow! Kat

Have you tried the old trick of brushing your teeth right after dinner, then if you get the urge to "eat"....grab the floss!!! Some say it works---what have you got to lose to try it!!?? Kat

Check out JulieNYC's thread on her plastic surgery. She and I were banded around the same time---a year ago in April. She has lost over 180 pounds in just over a year. She works out religiously, and watches her food intake. She is about your height. She has posted pictures, of her PS. She is very helpful, and would be a good one for you to chat with concerning what is possible with this band if one really works it! Good Luck to you. I agree with the others, with the band nothing is re-routed, so if you were to choose another surgery later, it would still be possible. Once something is surgically removed, it is permanent....think long and hard, and see some other Dr.s. This is YOUR body. They have a right to tell you their opinion, and the right to refuse to have you as a patient, but this is YOUR decision, not theirs! You are young. Children may be in your future---the band is adjustable in those situations. You have a long life ahead of you---with the band you benefit from the nutrients you take in with your food---there is no need for multiple supplements for the remainder of your life. Another thing to take into consideration is that at 25, you have 21 years before you are my age---21 years ago, lap band was not available...so close your eyes and imagine what can be developed in the next 20+ years. With the band, and it being reversible---if something "better" comes along---and why would we doubt that it will---we are all eligible for it. Once you have bypass, and that stomach and intestine has been cut---so have your options in the future. Now, I was just giving you the idea of the next 20 years...til you are my age. I am feeling wonderful, I have a great life again!!! I feel like I have several really good decades ahead of me, and if I need to switch to an improved band or other surgery, I can....I retain my freedom of choice. Just think about it, as I say you are awfully young to make the drastic choice of bypass. Keep us posted!!! Kat

Wow---quite the open ended question there!!!! All I can do is give you my own opinion on thr banding surgery. I was banded about 13 months ago. I have lost over 90 pounds and almost 60 inches! I do have excess skin, mostly in my belly, which was my biggest problem area in the first place. I will likely have a tummy tuck done for my own personal satisfaction. When I am clothed it is not a big deal, I definitely look better in my clothes than out of them, but chances are that has always been the case. My DH (Dear, Darling, Damned....depending on the mood, Husband) has no complaints, even with the skin. Surgery for me was easy, it was not a real painful experience, I was up and around within days and back to a normal life, some have it harder, and some go back to work in days---so it varies. I found the liquid diet much easier than I anticipated....I have felt little if any hunger since banding. I was begining too when I started the fill process. I have had 2 fills in the last 12 months, and will possibly have one more to finish off the weight loss, and try to get to goal. The eating for me has been the most wonderful thing! I am not hungry, or starving every minute of every day, so I can make better choices. I have not had to eliminate much in the way of food from my diet, but the portions have reduced in a drastic way! Plus, I eat so much less junk, not being hungry it has improved my health tremendously. When I went to surgery I was on several meds. 2 for high blood pressure, and one for high blood sugar, and another for cholesterol, one for joint pain, and another for reflux. From the day of surgery I eliminated the metformin for my blood sugar, and the cholesterol meds, within a month the blood pressure meds and reflux meds were gone. I went for several months with no prescription medication at all!!!! I actually still am! I did have a return of the reflux, but treat it successfully with over the counter meds now. I can walk and exercise, and play with my grandkids! I do have to be careful of how I eat. I eat small bites, well chewed, in small amounts. But that becomes a habit, and with good restriction, is not a big problem. I have on a couple of occasions lapsed into my old behavior, and had problems due to not chewing properly or eating a bad choice of food. When I do that, it hurts, feels like a huge pocket of air trapped in my chest, referred to around here as a golf ball. Then, your body steps up and tries to help you pass whatever you did not chew well, and you begin to "slime". It is the bodies natural reaction to something being stuck, you produce copius amounts of very thick, very gooey saliva. It is supposed to help slick it up and slide it through. The problem, is we are usually already too full, and there is nowhere for all that to go...so it usually leads to a "PB" which is short for Productive Burp. A bandster form of throwing up. A less violent form, and consisting only of chewed food, and saliva, no stomach acids, they are in the lower portion of the stomach. It is hard on the stomach, so you try to avoid this....but it happens! Not sure what else I can tell you---this site is full of info. Keep in mind the numbers of complications usually seems unusually high, it is because those not having problems of any sort, don't post daily that all is well!!! Your Dr. can give you his/her stats on complications, and they are quite low. Most are dealt with by altering the diet, and the fill level in the band. Please feel free to ask away any questions in particular---we will be glad to try to help!!! Welcome to LBT, we are glad to have you! Kat