Kat817

Awww thanks Paula! I am hanging in there, the unknown is scary---I take the old plan for the worst, hope for the best tactic. I have not told my parents, and have only alluded to having to have more tests to the kids. They will have time to deal with it later if it comes to that. Expecially with my parents, they will be heartbroke---no need to prolong the worries. The itching and burning, have eased. I am using oil on it, nothing else. Quit using it after my shower last night, and will use nothing now until after my appt. on Wed. DD is sick, so I am going after Kinsey, who just got over it! We are going to Target to pick up some prescriptions for them. Gotta go pay my insurance, somehow I missed it, last month.....I honestly missed it too! I pay online, and it was not paid! LOL, so now I have to make it current to continue paying online. Irritates me! But it is on the way, so will stop and pay it, and then get my stuff done. Rick is cleaning the folks chimney after work. They never called so he called them, and they were using electric heaters.....hello! They have a fully functioning heat system in their home! They have the funds to run it for something like this! Iknow it is expensive, but it's better than freezing! I swear those two will drive me nuts! I feel better with Rick home. Before he left we had some minor vandalism (?) in our backyard. Nothing bad, but someone took a cigarette and burned the strings attaching the clappers to my windchimes off---all 4 of them. Did the same to the things holding my birdhouse, and birdfeeder. Left them all lying in a line on the ground. Cigarette was crushed out on the patio. No one here smokes anymore. I thought that was all, then when Rick and DD were out there checking it out, my DD says "Oh sh*t" we turn to see what and she is staring at the BBQ grill which is just outside the back door, and someone had used the chalk I have out there for the kids and wrote BOO on the grill. It is right next to my big window. 2 nights before finding all this, I saw something flash out there, figured one of our solar lights was blinking (which they do if they catch another light source) or a firefly or something....bothered me enough tho at the time, I closed the blinds, then forgot about it. Guess I shouldn't have. So when he was gone, I was a bit stressed. The last time someone messed in our yard, the messages were much more sinister, and it ended up being my ex. To the best of my knowledge my ex remains in prison---------but these charges he is in on now are not against me, so I am not notified of his release. So I loaded the gun, and I carry it. Not a huge deal, I have no issues whatsoever about shooting him. I know that sounds extreme. But I know in my heart of hearts, it will come down to him or me if it ever comes to it. I have been the receiver of his out of control anger before, and will not be again. Will not have him here to threaten and hurt my family again. Y'all have no problem writing me in prison right??? But yeah, I am very glad Rick is home!!! I am sleeping, and eating, and feel much more relaxed. Jenn, leaving to go get his kids, is not ignoring you---it is what was in his plans BEFORE you! What he plans from this point out will be telling, does he include you, want you to meet his dd's etc. But same as you made your plans for today before meeting him....he likely had done the same. Don't take it personally. I AM needy!!! My DD's are so not! Rick is somewhere in the middle, but he has patience that I have none of! I want to hear he loves me on a daily basis! Not a big deal, I do hear it very often, and I am not a basket case if he hangs up without saying it or anything like that. I am not movie crazy! BUT, I am comforted by KNOWING. I do not act crazy, but pull into myself if I feel let down by anyone. My girls say screw 'em and move on. I question MYSELF! I do not have anywhere the self esteem they do, nor the confidence in myself they do. If I did nothing else right, I am proud they are capable and know their own worth. I was raised by a very traditional 1950"s homemaker, and it shows!!! Wierd! Gotta go get the girl and the meds, see y'all later! Stick around and get to know the girls Paula!

Cindy, your DD will be in my prayers. I sometimes wonder with problems as severe as hers, and she has a family, why they put off a hysterectomy like they do. If I had done mine in the beginning when my serious problems began, I would have avoided the cancer....I said many times to take it all---but no they always had another thing to try! I hope they find something to ease her pain quickly. Fibromyalgia is not pain of that sort. It is centralized in several joint/muscle areas. And the more trigger areas you have the higher the possibility of it being fibro. My Mom has it, and hurts, but not in the way you are talking about your DD hurting. My DD has RA, and has pain associated with it, as well as other health issues related to it. I have RA---but mine has never ever flared. The only way I know I have it is, the arthritis they removed from my knees during surgery is red tinted, and tests as RA. Tracy, yes he went and spoke with the guy about the other job, they did not seem to want to negotiate pay. If he changed jobs he would lose the 5 weeks paid vacation he has each year now---and he would lose the equivalent of $8.70 an hour. So he said thanks but no thanks and left. Now we will see if they ever counter offer or not. He is ok with it. He knows he can get a job there if lay offs happen! Birthday party today was fun, chaotic, but fun. Managed to deal with the ex wife and the DD's inlaws as well. Talk about a bunch of wierdos! The SIL and he family were having conniption fits, because we were letting the baby tear up a cake. His room and all is TOTALLY decorated in dinosaurs. He doesn't care yet, but SIL is very into them, so he has every dinosaur known to man, high dollar ones! Ones he does not want any of the kids playing with! Well there were 9 kids there, and all day he was freaking out! DD made DGS a cake---a chocolate cake, she began with a couple of 8" square layers, and cut them up and frosted them to look like a mountain, and had dinosaurs on the mountain, and green icing around the base like grass. SIL about come undone when she sat the cake on Corvins high chair tray. He did not want him digging in the cake. He wants to train him using utensils. So as soon as he began getting into the cake and covering himself in chocolate, he and his Mom grabbed him up to clean him up. He never really got to enjoy the cake....its a shame. He is in for a strange raising. We were supposed to go to dinner, but Connor got in trouble with my DIL---rightfully---he hit Mom---so they went home, and no one felt right about going without them, so we each went home. Come in, made some fish....did really good with dinner, did really good at the party, then had ice cream tonight----go figure! Suzanne, I am sorry your sister is doing this. I hate being lied to. I can imagine your anger and disappointment. Will check in with y'all in the morning. Not sure what tomorrow holds, besides laundry!!!

Yep Tracy, I am good. Rick getting in, and trying to get everything caught up....everytime I thought I had time to post, something come up or someone come in. His Mom is up to her usual----the chimney needs cleaned, and the car is running funny, and yadday, yadda, yadda. He already worked on and fixed sons sewer drain problem, which was not a big deal, but son is at a new job, putting in tons of hours, and it is dark when he leaves, and dark when he gets home....add to that the fact that our temps have been ranging from several below 0 to highs in the mid 20's---and he has had hell. Rick was able to work on it in the daylight, and got it fixed. But his Mom is irritating the hell outta me! We had plans to do a little shopping and go to a movie, just be together, and she did her level best to interupt every little bit! He finally told her, to turn on the heater, and he would TRY to get to her stovepipe today. So he goes out this morning to do it, and they have a raging fire going. Well you can't very well clean it if it is burning hot, and if it is plugged, why are they using it? He was so mad, he just told her, call me when it is ready, did not even go in to visit. She will be 10 times as bad now. But he knows it too! He is good about telling her what is what, she is just better at ignoring it!! LOL Today we have my next to youngest grandsons 1st birthday party for the kids. We did a dinner with the grandparents on his actual birthday the 7th. Today they are having all the cousins etc. and having a build your own sundae party. Kinsey is so excited, she wants lots of chocolate, and no sprinkles! She is a girl after my own heart. Connor wants gummies on his----he must be like his mom, she eats lots of gummies, and fruity candy, not chocolate. Rick is putting a new battery in the van. The other one was warrantied, it did not last. I think they should have had to do the work of installing it, but he prefers to do it himself. After the birthday we are taking our kids and grandkids to dinner. Probably Chilis, it is the only place the son out law will eat. Right now the thought of eating makes me nauseas. I ate a bit of breakfast, and I simply cannot eat much in the morning, it is too long to digest, and when I swallow all my saliva, I end up too full--and feel like hell. By about noon, my band loosens up and I can eat ok, but morning is HARD for me. Not worth messing with! I can drink clear liquids----water, tea, soda---thin stuff---but even cappucino or soup is too much. It might be all in my head, but it feels like it is all in my belly!! LOL Well I am off to get dressed. I bought some new shoes yesterday. They are taller than shoes, but not as high as an ankle high boot, right in the middle. Amazingly, they are really light weight---and are Doc Martens. Most of them are SO heavy. I like DM's because they fit my foot well, and have lots of toe room, I hate my toes squeezed in shoes!! But these are nice, all leather, and lighter than any DM's I have ever come across! I am happy! Also bought a couple of shirts at Sears---for $4.99 each. Some good sales out there! I would have shopped more.....but I was with my anti shopping husband!!! In and out and on our way is his way to shop!! Maybe this week I'll go look. Will check in with all of you later. Glad to hear you had a good time Jen.

VERY impressive Scottyd!!! Good for you! In April I will have had my band for 4 years. I have had no problems. Occasional PB, or stuck feeling, but nothing a day or so of liquids did not take care of. I made it to goal weight---from a size 22/24 to a size 8. I backslid during a stressful time in my life, but at that point I had been completely unfilled for over a year, and had had several surgeries -- non band related technically---one was a TT, and it was TOTALLY band related! Would not have needed it without the band!! I have a history of nausea with anesthesia, so I unfill for surgical issues. Stress hit, medications hit, and I regained! BUT the band has again helped me control it, and it is almost all gone again! I choose not to be super tight, and it works for me. I would reband again in a heartbeat!

Just quoting it, because I could not say it better, and in actuality nowhere near as well!!! GREAT sentiment, I agree whole heartedly!

Rick is on his way home!!!! YAY YAY YAY!!! I cannot tell you how happy this makes me! Turned this really crappy day into a pretty happy one! Crappy to Happy in 6 short hours! Maybe I should write a book! LOL Did the grandparents dinner with my (well you know) DD and DH's ex wife, and her husband, and the Son Out Laws family. Ex wife's Mom was there, a really nice lady. Older DD went too, just to bolster Mom up! We sat at a long table, and I was seated right with the ex, I do mean right next to her!! Right there were her Mom and the DD's tho, so it was ok. It was a good half an hour after we ordered, in come the SIL's family, they left 3 empty seats on each side and sat at the opposite end of the table, and did not socialize with the rest of us at all. So it was not too bad!!! Rick was so stressed making me go alone! It ended up not being a big deal at all. Through the years, we have made peace as ex's and all is well. She is on her meds, and did not try to "save" anyone at Chilis!! Well ladies......I am having issues. I had a lump. Have a mass actually. I had the mammogram, remember....well it was flagged. So we re did it, a rolled mammogram that time. Mass still presented. So we did an ultrasound. Mass is evident. Blood work has a raised CA125 tumor marker. We were going to do a needle biopsy today, but now there is skin lesion in the area, so they opted not to, as the skin problem could contaminate the biopsy. So we MRI'd today, and will do a surgical excision on the 13th. Prayers and good thoughts appreciated. Now I have to break the news to my husband over the next couple of days. I have not told him much, he was there, and could not be here, and I did not want him among the heavy equipment with his mind somewhere else....so now I gotta tell him. Deep sigh. We are cold here, too, but so far winds are calm, and mean temps remain low single digits, to just below zero, then highs in the mid to upper 20's. Has been that way for 10 days or so. People have pipes freezing right and left. The city is actually applying a credit of several dollars to each city bill, and asking that everyone keep faucets dripping, as even the city main lines are freezing! Well, I am going to go get some things done, my honey is coming home!!!!! YAY!!!

Tracy, I am so so sorry to hear your Nanny passed away--but like I mentioned to you on FB, what a gift that final day of clarity with the family was---for all involved. Jenn, I agree--I think the job was a major issue with you. I NEVER thought you were happy in the job, you lost your "I can do it" attitude when you started it. So this is meant to be, you took it as long as you could, and now it is time for something different. MIL is still in the hosp. looks like maybe she will come home tomorrow----but most likely Fri. My SIL is mad, so she is punishing them, by not doing anything for them. She is SOOOOOO much like her Mom it is scary! But it took MIL turning 80 to make her this way! LOL So guess I will pick up FIL in the morning, go to Wlamart and get his Rx's, take him to the hosp. leave him, go to my Dr. appt. and then go get him at the hosp. From the Dr. to the hosp is less than 2 blocks. Decent weather, I would just park at the hosp. (valet) and walk to my appt. But it is so freaking cold!!! I am going to be drugged--valium is all----so I should be able to get to the hosp. sit and visit until I am capable of driving again. Telling you all this is the first I have told anyone about it. NO ONE knows I am going to the Dr. tomorrow. I knew Rick had to go, and I do not want him there worrying about me....so I hid it. He is gonna wanna kick my butt! So anyway, since I can't tell him, I haven't told anyone else.....so was planning pre MIL/hosp. to take a book, and kick back and recover enough to drive home. It could prove to be interesting! LOL Wish me luck. And a prayer or 2 couldn't hurt either. Suzanne, I am sorry you were left with a mess, but maybe instead of focusing on the mess, focus on the 'left'---you survived it, and you know you did all the right things!! Tracy I am hoping for your house!! I LOVE the Diet DP bar....I am so there!! LOL Well I am going to have Pistachio Almond ice cream for dinner, unless I get off my butt and find something else in a hurry.......I hear it calling me!!!

You are all welcome to dispute the ideas with one another, and each offer your opinions on the subjects at hand. Personal attacks are not allowed on the board. At the bottom left hand side you will find the forum rules.... If the poll offends you, or the wording of the poll offends you, no one is requiring you to respond in it. It is very hard in a forum such as this to "get" humor. We cannot see a raised eyebrow or a grin that might go along with a post, so tend to read everything very seriously. It is pretty obvious that there are many more women than men here, but maybe through a thread such as this, some of the men will get together for some support.

My MIL, although I do love her is as needy as needy can be. She wants to be the center of attention, she raised perfect children, according to her, NOT them!!! She is not beyong being manipulative to get her way, or the amount of attention she wants! She talks better than she listens....so it makes it hard to just have a conversation with her. In all fairness, she was not always this way. She used to call, and we would chat away for a half an hour a day----but in her aging, she is getting VERY petty. If she calls you on Monday, you better call her on Tuesday, or her panties get in a ruffle, and she won't call you period, and she is not above calling Rick then at work to just chat.....because perhaps I have not told him that I quit checking on them......THAT kind of thing. I try to keep reminding myself that she is 82! Then I remember her Mom lived to be close to 100---and I know I need to put things right now, because I am setting myself up for years of it, if I don't. Rick is just soooooooo patient with my brother, and my family, I want to be as good to his. Such a mish-mash of feelings! Suzanne, I think that is good that your nephew is going to spend some time with his Dad before joining up....it will be important to both of them. And both he and you know you did your best for him. I have drank at least 64 ounces of water every day this year so far. I have had some other liquids too---but MUST drink that much water---it is my promise to myself! So far so good. Had a turkey sandwich with swiss cheese and green chile at lunch, took off as much of the hoagie as I could---but the chile was hot, and it burned in my pouch for awhile, so having a mild dinner.....snacking on crackers!! LOL So glad you see you girls checking in!!!

Suz---I never found my chain, thinking it will surprise me come Spring and I finally clean the garage, or I will find it next Christmas! I hung a yoke piece there, but it looks wierd to me! LOL Tracy, there is a part of me that is jealous--I miss having the kids here, and feeling the excitement, at teaching them things, and having a schedule for them etc. But.......it was my job---and it made my grandkids feel like an extension of my job. I had kids all day, then kids would come for the night, and I didn't enjoy them like I wanted to! So..... If an opportunity like yours fell in my lap, I would do it too tho! Kinsey starts school this next year, and there is no way my DIL is going to work so I won't be keeping the boys. So, I would enjoy that! This job that Rick had considered for the chemical company-- keeps popping up! Today we walk into the hospital, and there in the refreshement room across from MIL's room, is the guy who is trying so hard to get Rick to come over there to work! He waved, and we talked and then this girl (yes I KNOW theoretically we are not girls anymore.....but you know!!!) I have known forever--seriously since Jr. High, comes up, gives me a hug, and we are discussing our mutual friend who moved away----and the chemical guy says "oh you guys know one another?" we laugh and say yes, and she tells me, he is her little brother!!! And lo and behold one of the guys who would have the say in things is her HUSBAND!! So we are laughing, and she suddenly says to her brother, "remember when I was in high school and those guys blocked me in the pig barn at the fair, and I told you a guy from school intervened for me? Well that was Rick, that was Kat's husband!!" So then he had to tell her he really knew Rick, not me! Was a ring around the Rosie kind of thing! We all had a good laugh about it. Her brother said, he kept telling them to give him more money! I guess the 2 guys work in different dept.'s of the company. For some reason, every single day, something comes up about this job. I feel kind of like God is beating us over the head with it.....now to see how Rick feels about being beat over the head!! LOL MIL is still in the hospital. I am going to be exhausted. Got home last night, could not sleep. I knew Rick had a 1 AM call, so I talked to him then, and watched TV in bed til around 3 before finally falling asleep. At 6 AM my FIL calls, he was trying to reach my son......at 7, Rick calls, while talking to him the phone beeped for call waiting, it was Becky.....finally got off the phone and said to heck with it, I was going to sleep for an hour. DIL calls, not 10 minutes later.....doze off FIL calls again, and I have to get up to get him a ph. #. I give up! Got up, went and got him, followed the path HE wanted to take to the hospital (irritating me to no end!!!) spent the day sitting there, trying to make conversation, while HE dozed in the chair! I told them, my house is going to be cold, and it is getting dark, and I need to go home to haul wood in. MIL was unhappy about everyone leaving, but good grief! I have no desire to sit there all day every day------but SIL does not want to go get her Dad and take him....for some reason that is my job. Sorry, needed to vent!! Jenn, we camp a lot, and love it! Will of course let you know if we decide to do the Riverwalk------we would never leave you out! Maybe you should do a cross country camp out all the way to TX and back!!! Or you could drug up and fly!! LOL Will check on all of you later.

Suzie----you are WELCOME at my little corner of NM anytime!!! I am literally in the corner of NM--we are about 50 miles from the 4 corners monument. I would love to do the Riverwalk, and I have no issue doing it "on the cheap"!!! We can find a motel away from the walk itself, and take the bus system---I understand it is excellent---a trolley system or something, and it takes you all over the place. OUr Aunt & Uncle do it that way. I will know more, when Rick decided for sure about this job. The chemical company called again today, and through me offered him the job again, and when I told them, he was probably not interested due to the pay cut, he said he would discuss the matter and be back in touch! So wierd, they cannot get ahold of him, they are off by the time he is accessible anyway but the company cell phone.....so they talk through me! Anyway, things were so chaotic tonight, I forgot to even tell Rick he called again! Tonight, as I was sitting down to eat, my DIL called, and my MIL was headed to the hospital, she had pain in her leg, and my FIL drove her to the Dr. they sent her to the hospital for a doplar, and sure enough she has a blood clot following surgery. We ALL told her WALK, get out of that chair! But she is stubborn as the day is long. Add to that, she refuses to eat----so her blood sugar is bottomed out---under 70.....and she actually seems pretty pleased with herself! She is getting the attention she wanted from the surgery. Although she is upset tonight that the Denver kids have not mentioned getting here, and Rick is not immediately headed home. Although for both to end up happening would not surprise me..... I have made a crockpot full of chicken and rice, and a pot of black eyed peas, and a crockpot full of chicken and dumplings, and taken over there. I am not a mama bird, I cannot chew it up and spit it in her mouth. She is an adult and has to take SOME responsibility! It is so frustrating, she does not realize that these tricks and attention getting schemes she used 30 years ago do still work, but at her age, could have devastating results! She went against ALL advice given with her surgery, she didn't walk, she didn't drink lots, and she even took off the TET hose, and sat on her legs crossed in her chair like it was not a big deal. We told her with that 8 hour car ride from Denver 2 days before surgery and then the surgery, she really needed to be careful, and it seemed like everything we told her not to do, she did, and laughed because she was just doing so good......and even tonight she is laying in that bed looking like the cat that swallowed the canary. So there goes my next few days, will be shuttling FIL back and forth. SIL and I drove up together tonight, so one of us could drive him home, he should not be driving in the light of day, let alone dark and occasionally still icy roads!!! Come home and my fire had burned out, a few coals, enough to start a new one, but not enough to keep my house warm! So I am slowly thawing out! When I got FIL to his house, I had to carry wood in for him. Wish my son had thought and done it. But he is in a GROUCHY mood, so helping anyone is out of the question! Their septic leach lines are frozen, so they have serious sewage issues, and he is trying to work full time out in this cold, then come home and deal with that. I understand the anger and frustration, but still wish he was not so moody. Well, I am off to get some things done so I can go to the hospital tomorrow. Will check in as I can.

Suzie, the Riverwalk is very warm! Yet it is really cool!! LOL I had been before, many years ago, in another lifetime I lived in SA. But Rick has never been. It can be as expensive or as cheap as you want to make it! If you want to stroll, and see things, and even stop for a beer, it is affordable. It can also be REALLY expensive, with lots of high end shops etc.!! I would love to meet up with you guys there! Or anywhere! To get to SA from our farm is reasonable---gotta love the interstate! LOL So that is why I said Spring or Fall, that is when we go there! I think our husbands would get along great, they all seem pretty down to earth! Rick has a great sense of humor, and would start out quiet, not knowing anyone, but he loosens up, and I know you would like him. I miss him so much it is unreal! Not sure why today has been so hard, but it has. I got word through my parents, who saw old friends, that one of my oldest friends was in town for a week at Christmas, with her husband, DD, and DGD. I never even got a phone call. She said Happy New Year on FB, never even mentioning she had been here. I know she has family, and obligations, I am not asking that she spend hours with me. Just a phone call... In the conversation her MIL had with my Mom, she did say they (friend and her DH) spent a lot of time golfing. Well ya know what.....good for her. She wants to wrap herself up in no one but them, that works for me. I have worked to keep the friendship going, but no more. I called one time we were in Fort Worth for Rick's cousins transplant surgery, and she lives in a suburb in the DFW area, and she had company (his family again) and could not meet up with us. She has been in town before, and never called. I always made excuses for her, but for some reason 2010, has brought out in me, a need to do away with the excuses for friends! So enough is enough, and I had enough. I will respond ONLY if she is in touch with me DIRECTLY. Same with a bunch of people in my life!!! Roads go 2 directions, phone lines work both ways. I know you guys get what I am saying....doncha???? LOL Going all out for dinner....thinking tuna salad sandwich!!! LOL BBL

I'm with you 2!!! I never saw your Dad Tracy, but there is a face there---how impressive is that!!! I am just doing nothing today......part of me wants to do something, the other part is fine with the laziness!!! Actually my plan is to hit the used book store, but I am waiting for my DIL who was supposed to be here an hour ago----I do not wait well for people!!!! I was writing on pics and organizing them yesterday and ran onto our pics from Gruene, and San Antonio. Was a fun trip. Think I will see about Rick and I doing the Riverwalk this summer...well this Spring to be exact, or next Fall. Just checking in......it is cold here today too. Actually just feels like someone left the freezer door open.....for days on end! We have not been above freezing in many days---and we are due more snow on Wed. I am ready for Spring!!!! See y'all in awhile.

You know for years Suzie, they had programs for young men, that they had the option of joining the service to avoid jail time on small charges----non violent charges usually. One of my oldest friends her DH of over 30 years, did that, joined the army to stay out of jail, for alcohol related issues. Turned him into a man! The ALL ME attitude we are all finding is taken away from them there! Maybe we should send a bunch of people!!! LOL I am on edge----I know I am----and that may be a lot of my problem. I have avoided talking about it, and basically hid from it in general, and it wasn't until your line you wanted to say to your sister, about having problems too--it clicked with me! I feel relieved that I can recognize what is behind some of my stress. I was beginning to wonder if I just invited their attitudes! I called my DD to let her know I was taking Kinsey to the movie, and if she wanted to go fine, if not we would go without her!! While talking to her, my Dad called and invited us to lunch, after church. So in the end, DD, DGD and my folks and I went to Chinese food, and then us girls--Mom, me, DD, and DGD, 4 generations went to see Alvin and the Chipmuks!!! There is a point in the movie where the chipettes meet the chipmunks, and are smitten, and they are batting eyelashes and wiggling their noses, and I look down at Kinsey, and she is grinning ear to ear, and wiggling her nose. It was priceless. She loved the movie! Come home, talked to Rick for awhile, and now just vegging until my shows come on--new ones tonight!!! YAY!! Heated up a bowl of black eyed peas and cornbread for dinner. We haven't had any more snow, but the temps have not gone above freezing in days....high today was like 28 or so. Just yucky! My niece spent NY in the hospital, having emergency surgery---she had an ectopic pregnancy. She had been told for years---I mean lots of years, like 20---that she could not get pregnant. Then this! She is heartbroken. She wanted a baby so badly. It destroyed her marriage, them trying so hard, and in the end she turned to a lot of drugs, and hard lifestyle, I have to wonder what this is going to do. So do the kids go back to school tomorrow? I have none, here regularly to know if it is tomorrow or not. I'll check in after my shows are over....FINALLY new TV!!!

Yep been a quiet room! Christmas is gone at my house! Boxes, and totes carried to the garage, and will go to the shed when there is less snow and ice between here and there. Til then they are out of the way, and most of my stuff is back in its familiar spot. I lost a harness chain! I know that sounds like a stupid thing to lose, and be as upset as I am about it, but it is what it is. This is a simple chain with a round ring on the end link. It used to attach the horse or oxen bridle or yoke to the harness, and it belonged to Rick's great grandpas team. I have it hanging on a narrow strip of wall between our bedroom door and the LR. I take it down and hang a string of snowmen there during the holidays. I have everything back up, but the chain is MIA. I unpacked totes, and searched them and repacked them (there went a lost couple of hours!!) and still have not located it. I know it is here, just where here has me lost and confused, and extremely agitated! I am normally fairly organized, and for something to just be gone makes me CRAZY!!!! I have been bumming.....I am sad that Rick is gone, and they told him it looks like his 2 weeks will turn to 3. The kids have their own lives, and it seems the only friends I have who are not out and busy, are the ones more depressed than I am, that do not want to hear my problems (minor as they are!!) but want me to listen yet again to their laundry list of complaints!!! I sound so selfish saying that, but it is true!!! For some reason the reality of it hit last night, when one of them called and it dawned on me that the conversation was almost an exact re run of that a month ago!! LOL Except this time I got to hear how none of the kids or family paid any attention at Christmas to what she needed, or wanted, and instead got her generic gifts.......oh well, it DID make me sit up and pay attention not to whine at my kids!! LOL. Lessons in what NOT to do! LOL While I was moving Christmas boxes, I missed Ricks call.....now it will be hours before he can call again, I think that is what has me cryin' in my beer. OK, it is diet Dr. Pepper, and I'm not really cryin' but it sounded good! Marie and I were supposed to go see Avatar today, but her son is in town, and that is not something that happens real often, he hotshots things, so she is spending the day with him, which I would expect her to. We can hit the movie mid week, it would be much less crowded I'm sure. Anyone seen it? Trying to decide whether to munch on something for lunch or hold out, have an early dinner and call it good!! Will check in and see if any of you busy folk have been around later!!

mmmmm that sounds good Suzie, might think about that tomorrow! Well, maybe the next day, we do black eyed peas tomorrow. Normally my DH's family does the German traditions of pork and sour kraut, but he is gone, and I am not doing all that for myself!!! About 40 years ago (seriously!) my Dad began having 2 parties a year, as a special Thank you to his employees. He had a big BBQ during the summer, and then he had a big posole dinner on NYE. It has always been an open house type of thing, come and eat, then they were good to go to their individual parties. He told ALL of them as they each left, if they needed a ride, to call, do not drive drunk! LOL In the beginning, he offered alcoholic drinks as well as non. Then after my brother got hurt, and developed alcohol problems, he quit, and it has been non alcoholic ever since. I personally quit drinking at them when I was 24. Rick and I had been at a little pub, had too much to drink, and went next door to this game parlour place, and had our caricatures drawn---I have them framed! LOL Anyway, we picked up another 6 pack, and headed over here. We were not trashed, but buzzed. I was not so far gone as to normally embarrass myself or my family. I was however tipsy enough to walk in the front door and promptly trip-----over our preacher! LOL I swear it is true!!! Our caricatures went flying! I quit drinking anything at the parties after that! Most years, I go out and spend the evening with family and friends. Even tho Dad retired many years ago, lots of his old friends from work, and church, and lodge friends, as well as friends of my brothers and mine, all show up. It is not unusual to have a crowd of 80-85 come and go through the night. This year will be S L O W. The roads are icy---and it is cold! Mom and Dad's friends are their age, and many don't drive much at night, and especially not in this weather. So he will have posole left over this year, which will make Rick happy since he is missing it! Long story---but that is what I am doing tonight. Kinsey's school is closed today with the snow, so she is with me. I wanted to take her to the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, but her Mom wants to go too. I ask her to go see Avatar with me this weekend, but she doesn't care to see it, so I may go alone. And I will not ask her to go anywhere with me again for a long while----maybe she was busy at work, but she was snotty. Mom didn't like it. Hurt my feelings to be honest.....like pulling her teeth to spend time with me or what??? Well, I need to go shovel--------------the fun never ends! I need to borrow Suzies snow blower!!! Wanna bring it over and try it on my yard??

LOL The current offer is from Champion, he was offered a position with Coastal awhile back but the $$$ was not enough in comparison to what he makes now. Which is going to be an issue, he is well paid now.......

Got my exercise in this morning. Shoveled my drive and walks, and my neighbors as well. I am tired!!! Talked to Rick last night, well early this morning, about 12:30 AM, he was headed out to supervise a rig down, and they are moving towards Odessa. Then this morning, a guy I know called, and he works for the chemical company Rick is thinking of changing to. And he said that a guy he works with said he knew someone wanting to work, and mentioned Ricks name, and he was totally excited, said the job is Ricks if he wants it, they have him approved, and he is good to go. I told him Rick was out of town and would refuse to make a decision until he fulfilled his agreement to be where he is. #1 because he is just that way #2, when the new year rolls around they will owe him for 5 weeks paid vacation when he leaves! He said Rick's loyal attitude is one of the things they discussed when they were selling him to the hiring team! Now I cannot reach Rick to tell him! LOL Frustrating! I am thrilled tho, that his reputation in the field is so good, and that he is not stuck working for the moron that has taken over if he doesn't want to. I made a pot of chicken & gravy sauce, cooked it all night so the chicken is fall apart soft, and am going to add rice to it, and take it to my inlaws. Should qualify under her soft diet.....she is refusing to eat right now. I could have predicted this would not be as easy as it should be!! LOL As soon as the house clears out, she will eat. The woman is not skinny----she is an easy size 16 on a 5'4" frame. She is not huge by any stretch of the imagination, but she claims not to ever eat......sorry that doesn't add up! Ironically the DD's and the DIL's "get" that, the DS's worry about it! Got my check in the mail for my medical flex account. I wanna go shopping!!! But the weather sucks, and I do not want to go try on clothes, when the clothes you have to take off include boots, etc! I also need new work out shoes, but I don't want to do that with wet cuffs. So guess I am on the hunt around my library (seriously hundreds of books) for a good read today, and do nothing! Have a good one....or MAKE it a good one!

Cherie, that would be great, get in touch anytime. You will usually find me on the "Home Thread, Thread for the Homeless" or something like that, began as a shoot from another thread, now it is just a group of us who gather to support and gab! DD takes 2 or 3 things, I know she said they just changed her to something called Humera....but I would have to ask her. She has been doing reallllly well. Without the band I would have no idea how much I would have gained. It is a scary thought. Plus the additional 40 would have been on top of my original 289 pounds. Just reminds me how much I love my band!!! LOL

Lotsa farmers are real cowboys!!! LOL Surgery was great---if anything she was disappointed it was not as big a deal as she was anticipating! LOL She does love attention!! I just called and checked on her, and she is in bed, and sleeping well. She had a bowl of soup and crackers for dinner, so she seems to be doing great. BIL& SIL are leaving tomorrow, so the local SIL and I will alternate taking food in for a few days. Any suggestions on what to take her----besides more Campbells???

Hi CherieLynne~~ I was, and still am doing great with my band. I had a crisis....and amid it all regained almost 40 pounds! I have a history of nausea with anesthesia. I had 3 surgeries in a year, only related to my band in the way that one of them was a TT. I also had a thyroid tumor, and an intestinal torsion. So due to surgery, I was totally and completely unfilled. I managed fine through that. Was unfilled for over a year, without weight gain. Then my DD began having some issues with her outer ear swelling, and was soon hospitalized, with the most horrendous looking ear you can imagine. Her ear was tomato red, and was so swollen you could not see an ear canal. There was an abssess, that ate all the way through her ear. They were caused because it would swell until the skin popped. The diagnosis come in with it being a cartiledge destroying disease....which is fatal, life expectancy is no more than 7-10 years. I cannot tell you the devastation. I was keeping her 4 year old, who was scared at what was happening to her Mommy, and my DD was, well, like you would expect a 26 year old to be that was just told she would never see her child grow up, and the disease would be disfiguring, disabling, then fatal. The stress caused hives.....which would not go away, so they put me on high doses of prednisone, then tried repeatedly to taper it off, only for them to return. They operated on my DD, and eventually sent her to a different hospital, where they discovered the disease was only a psuedo disease----she too has RA, and this illness mimics the disease, but is NOT fatal. Is usually no more than what she had, but hers had been mismanaged for so long, they expected it to be disfiguring, and prepared to amputate the external ear. End of the story is happy, the meds made a HUGE difference. She had a PIC line at home for 2 months. But she has not lost any of her ear, only the lymph nodes below it which surgeons removed in diagnosis. But.....I lived in the hospital, eating LOTS of ice cream, because it soothed my acid ridden stress related tummy----and also tried to soothe my soul. I have not experienced hunger since being banded. But once the prednisone began, I was ravenous again! I am off the prednisone, and have no hives. Nothing negative to show for the experience except for about 15 pounds now! I NEED to exercise to get them off, I am just lazy about it. I could lose them just as well, by getting another fill, and eating less, but I choose not to go that route. I have a small fill in----less than 1cc---in a band that will hold 4cc.'s. But I do not have tight restriction, mild is good for me, I do not PB, but I cannot eat large amounts. I can eat roughage (salad) and meat, without issue. I can eat some bread. Mostly my portions are diversely different than pre band. I think if I had more weight to lose, I would be more motivated, but I am really OK with where I am. I began in a 22/24 pants, and now wear either an 8 or 10....without elastic! LOL Everything I owned before had elastic everything! I think since your body is used to the steroids, you are used to the things they do to your body----mine was not, and the hunger was so new, and I was so scared, I fell into old habits and tried to eat my way to comfort..... You should be able to get back in the pool as soon as your incisions heal, and I would bet you will be able to add other exercise as the weight drops. So sorry my post scared you----was not meant to!!! Good Luck to you on your surgery---it was without a doubt the best thing I ever did for ME!!!

Glad to hear you sound more upbeat, and that you have plans in the offing to get you involved in something. You and all my other "homeless homies" are always welcome in my little corner of NM!!! And BTW--I am living proof, you can meet a cowboy in a dance hall, dance with him, and remain by yourself!!! LOL The only reason I remember him is he was sooooo confused by who we were and why we were there, and thought we were messing with him that Terry's name was Terry, since that was his name. Then Pamela threw in her distraction.....and he was just confused all the way around! Such fun! MIL looks like she was banded! Seriously! She has one larger incision in about the same place as my port incision! Then she has a small little one on her belly button and 2 poke holes. Now if we can keep her from overdoing the pain meds all will be well! She had both knees replaced at one time several years ago--and addicted herself really quickly to the pain meds, and figured out which ones of us were harder and made her do her PT, and which ones of us she could get away with things with! She is a sly old woman!!! Resolutions sound good, but rather on focusing on someone else special--focus on you being special to yourself. Then and only then will you be ready for someone else to appreciate you!!!

Jenn, I think it is time to break out the phone book, and look up some support groups. You could fit into several categories. Grief support, in dealing with the accident from Kev, singles groups, family support for those with head injuries--cannot remember what they call that here, we (Mom and I) went for awhile learning about my brothers injury. Meet new people, people who have an idea of where you are at with things. Bars and alcohol are only going to make it seem worse when the haze wears off IMHO. I know my friends have let me down, and I am sure I have done the same with them. I hate that it happens, but it is such a crazy time of year, for EVERYONE. The friends who are not there right now, may be going through their own thing, it does not mean you are not worth it, or that they are ditching you---it just means that right now is not a time for them. If it repeats everytime you need them, then I see where it would feel that way. Another thing to think about, is DO SOMETHING for someone else. Volunteer time at the local homeless shelter. It will get you out of the house, among kind hearted, helpful people, and helping others who are so obviously in worse shape, may help you to view your situation differently. If you don't feel like right now you could handle all the people, go to the animal shelter and volunteer. Animals love without expectations. There is a ton of need for volunteers this time of year. It will get you into a new group of people--good people usually, and you would not be sitting home alone. MIL's surgery went well. She was convinced, she was going to have to be opened up, and was going to be nauseated after surgery and have to spend the night in the hospital, etc. All gloom and doom. She went in, the surgery was done in less than 20 minutes, she was awake just minutes later, and sitting up eating crackers, and was dressed and out the door headed home 2 hours later! She is settled in, snacking on crackers, and soda, taking her pain meds all without issue. And shocked (and I daresay a bit disappointed!!!) as heck!!! Dr. said her gall bladder was full of stones. He also told her she was in remarkable health for a woman over 80....she did not appreciate that! LOL Rick put in 36 hours straight on the clock! Went out at midnight yesterday, come home noon today. He has to be present on the location due to the type of job they are doing. And he is the only one certified to be on hand for it. He said he got a little rest in the truck. But tell me that is safe! I told him he even got a hangnail I was finding an attorney! I was joking, but in all seriousness, with those hours they are pushing, if he were to be hurt I sure as hell would sue! I ate ok today----hard to eat much junk in the hospital waiting room! Had a couple of cheetohs. Then had half a small burger on the way home. I have kept a bottle of water with me all day and done my best to drink steady. I think that is my plan, my resolution is not going to be to deprive myself of anything but to make myself include it. I am going to resolve to drink minimally 64 ounces of WATER a day. Anything else I drink is bonus, but I must have that much water. The rest of my life, I need to keep well hydrated---might as well make that a habit now! Well I am off to call some folks let them know all is well. Snow is beginning to fall outside......

Suzie I think the key in what you said, was that you would do it for him too. I tried telling DS and DIL that a few years ago---before they married. We were in Denver, and on the trip we stopped and bought some junk for snacking, and they were fighting over who got something they bought. Not a full blown fight, but both bickering, and unhappy that the other was not letting them have it. I told them then and there, that unless they got to a point where they WANTED the other to have the best of everything, and WANTED to make one another happy, and put the other first, they were not ready to commit. They ignored me. To this day they think of themselves first. Sadly.....I even see it happening occasionally with the kids. DIL conned DGS out of the caramel filled Santa because he did not know the difference and she did. I don't think I am not worth the best.....I know that is how she sees it, that is not it at all, but I love him, and want him to have it. He in turn wants me to! If we had one of something left like they did we would not argue who GOT it, but which of us was giving it to the other, and we would end up sharing it. They will never share things, it is not in their nature. I guess they have no idea what they are missing, but I do find it sad! Cake was good. I tasted a bite, I am not a fruity cake lover----but had to make sure it was ok! She loved it, loved that I remembered. There was mostly family and just another friend and I, but she was happy they did something! He and his DD made enchiladas. He called me as I was leaving, asking if I would grab some cheese........total lack of planning! But it was GREAT company, and I am glad I went. She loved her bracelet, and was wearing it when I left. MIL has surgery at 9 tomorrow, so I have to be at the hospital at 7:30 with the family. Although.....I am tempted not to be! I went over there tonight after leaving Maries, to see them, and my BIL & SIL who are in from Denver. They were up watching the football game, but my MIL & FIL were already in bed (was a few minutes after 8). I heard the channel changing on the TV in their bedroom, but they did not bother to come out and even say hello. But I will go......for reasons mentioned above. Rick will appreciate me going whether anyone else does or not, so I will be there. I am having a hard time with my fire keeping the house warm today-----not sure what the issue is! I might have got into some wood that isn't as dry as the other....is all I can think of. Will check in before leaving in the morning if I have time, if not when I get home. Have a good day all!

Oh Tchr, I hear you on the prednisone!!! It had a hand in my regaining weight! I was unfilled completely, dealing with loads of stress, and broke out in hives that would not ease. Steroids is what finally eased them, then as the stress level dropped (good news on DD's health mainly) they went away and I got off the steroids. But all of it combined, I regained almost 40 pounds! OMG I was so mad at myself! But.....with the band it is going away again, and I know without it, I would have gained the 40 pounds on top of what I already was, so it was not as bad as it could have been without a doubt! Laura, glad you got good news with the crochet thing! It always makes you feel good to help others, especially ones in such need. When I have a group of guys---and I will consider your son and his buddies guys---the thing I make that they do best with is a big pot of pulled pork, for sandwiches. I don't remember if you do pork or not tho! Could be done with beef as well----I do it sometimes too, and have the butcher slice the roast very thin before I cook it. Then it makes quick easy sandwiches, we just use hamburger buns. We do this for our Superbowl parties, and I will do it if we are having a gathering in the yard, and don't want to mess with the grill. We do the pork, and I just toss a loin in the crockpot cut into chunks and let it slow cook over night, then shred it. Then add our favorite sauce---I like to spice up the Sweet Baby Ray BBQ sauce. With the beef, I put the slices in the crockpot with a packet of Au Jus gravy mix and however much water the gravy packet calls for. Then drain when done the next morning, and fold in BBQ----it feeds a lot for not much cost wise, and it is pretty healthy overall. And it is band friendly to me! LOL Well my cake is cooled, and ready to be assembled---wish me luck! I found a great card, and a totally cool bracelet for her. Hope it works out well and she has fun!!