Kat817

****TUESDAY'S TIP OF THE DAY**** HOT CHOCOLATE A group of graduates, well established in their careers, were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor, now retired. During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives. Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups - porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the hot chocolate. When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said: "Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. The cup that you're drinking from adds nothing to the quality of the hot chocolate. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was hot chocolate, not the cup; but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each others cups. Now consider this: Life is the hot chocolate; your job, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life. The cup you have does not define, nor change the quality of life you have. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the hot chocolate God has provided us. God makes the hot chocolate, man chooses the cups. The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything that they have. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. And enjoy your hot chocolate. It is so wintery here, the hot chocolate felt fitting!!! Kat

Hi girls~~ Lazy day, Kinsey and I have been making a play-doh smorgasbord!! We have pies, and cakes....and soon to be lots of mixed up colors if I don't watch her!!! Manda tried to go to work, but got turned around by her boss, they closed her plant. So she is at home trying to get her important work done without the help of a certain 3 year old with 4 wall fever!!! Add in, 2 rambunctious pups----and you now know why I have Kinsey even if her Mom is at home! She will be here after her in about an hour she said. My DIL called and wanted us to meet at Pizza Hut for the lunch buffet. That is a total and complete bust for me--but I always pick up the tab, so I get invited frequently!! Not today I begged off! I ate a slice of 12 grain bread toasted for breakfast. Will have a clementine for snack in awhile---trying to keep some fiber going in! Will be back in a second to post my tip! I got it in an email the other day and saved it for today! Tracy, hope today at work is ok----feel better. Pamela you will knock his socks off whenever you get observed----just save the hard thought lesson!!! I am hoping the roads get cleared and I will go work out again later today. I slept much better, I slept in late! Jane are you sleeping on an incline?? It works great for me! Laura----DD had wierd Chantix dreams too! So did my best friend Becky! She told me hers, I laughed my butt off!!! Literally---it is GONE! Ms Jen! I see you here!!! How you doing? Sure you can't join us in SA? OK, be back in a minute with my tip of the day! Kat

While I agree that in the case the OP cited, they should put the child first, if he continues to treat this child as his own, he might feel as though he is just continuing to allow her (mom) to rub salt in his open wounds. We know judges make men pay for children who aren't theirs....but not all judges! We never know how the judge is going to rule in any case--especially ones like these. If the Mom is withholding the child now since it "is not his"....that is going to be a threat from her til the day the child turns of age. She may not have him by the short & curlies but she has him by the heart----and knows it! It does need to be decided by a judge in the best interest of the child--------but then it needs to be enforced! THAT is where my problems come in, leaving my DD to feel very much like bonniep mentions. I was awarded child support! He was awarded visitation. Did he do either? Nope! He would allow her to come see him-------if I brought her and picked her up--------he could not be bothered. And he did not pay his support--------but as I said before, legal help is either a years away waiting list for legal aid, or high dollar! You choose---pay the bills or hire an attorney, and allow yourself as well as the child to be drug into the court system yet again. Back to the OP--it states that the judge found it not in the best interest of the child to determine paternity. Does that mean, the father is a relative, or someone it is going to be traumatic to reveal, or that the father is unknown? I feel for this child ~~ BUT still believe that man to be within his rights to know, be put on the birth certificate, and given parental rights, or have the right to bow out of the picture. Obviously the Mom has thrown it in his face that he is not the Father, or it come out in some way, or he would still be going about his business assuming to be the father, and this would not have been in court. Is there any reason to believe if Mom brought it up once, she won't repeatedly anytime he does not toe the line with her? While the child is the #1 concern this man too has rights! The Mom in this case holds ALL the cards! She can opt to tell the child at any time - he is not your Dad. She can hold back visits....She possibly knows who is the Dad, and the day he makes more money than the ex, then she might come forward. While we concern ourselves, and rightly so, with the child, this man has to be dealt with fairly too--it is his life too---he only gets one same as the rest of us, and if his heart has been ripped out by the revealing that this child is not his, does he deserve to have that happen again, and again at the hands of the deceptive ex wife? Yes it seems cruel to want out of the childs life---but sometimes you have to have the anger to get through the pain of a situation. Not to sound extremely sexist, but it is much easier for many men to be angry than it is for them to be sad--they are victims of their own raising. Bottom line in my opinion is this poor child does not have much of a chance. Whether "Dad" is in the picture or not, she is living with a lying, manipulative woman, who is very unlikely to change her ways. That will be what she learns as she grows. We have branched out into 2 totally different discussions here--one of this man who wants his CS reduced, done away with and reimbursement, and another totally different discussion of Non paying parents in divorce. While I do not support the Father who has access to his children, and refuses to pay, such as my ex husband, and bonniep's father-----I still feel the case in the OP is 100% different! Unfortunately he is going to be dealt with in a court used to seeing Dead Beat Parents--and he is going to be colored with that whether it is deserving or not. Kat

Usually if you had no issues with spicy before, you won't after. I love hot mexican food, and eat it all the time! Without issue. Try a small bit, increase both the spice and the amount slowly, and just see how you react. A burst of real flavor is sooooo nice when your amounts you eat are so much smaller, I want the most taste packed in that I can get!!! Welcome to LBT! Kat

Oh I believe both parents should pay to support their children! I also understand exactly what you are saying Marimaru--I was in the same boat. I made a concious decision, that I would rather forego the support, and have the money to pay the bills. When you have a certain amount to live on, you have to choose, to either hire a lawyer to get the unpaid support, or pay your bills. I could have withheld visitation so HE took it to court, but the one getting hurt in that would have been my DD. It was my choice not to spend her entire childhood fighting with her Dad. She soon was old enough to realize. One of her friends who had a Dad who actually paid, was telling Manda that her Mom was so unfair---she got paid over $200.00 a month for child support, and Mom only paid her $10.00 a week allowance with it. So Manda ask me why she didn't get any---I told her point blank her Dad did not pay CS. And explained to her that even if he did pay me $200.00 a month, then that money was supposed to be used to SUPPORT her--not just SPOIL her! That it was to help pay utilities and groceries, buy new shoes and clothes and Vitamins....all the things it takes to help raise a kid. She ask me---well if he doesn't pay child support how do I have those things? I told her that was why I ran the day care, so I could provide them. She must have been all of 8 years old, and she says "Well I think if he won't help we are better off with him not living here, he drinks a lot of beer, and I bet it costs lots of money!" Out of the mouths of babes!!! I too would take my child---with or without child support--I did! But ideally a true DAD---not just a Sperm Donor, would want to be a part of the childs life and that includes financial obligations. They would not leave that decision simply up to you. I do agree though that there are likely just as many women out there who misuse the money they do get for child support, as there are men who simply don't pay. It is a flawed system as many are, but with something like this where emotion runs so high, it is a hard thing to work out. Kat

Pre band, I used to have them---with cream cheese. As a kid growing up I would not even try cream cheese! Then in high school, we were at a party and they had them with cream cheese, and of course to fit in, I ate one----which led to boxes and boxes through the years! Jane, my Dr. found and fixed my haital hernia in surgery, but it did not stay repaired--which I understand it likely just herniated in a slightly different area. And is not unusual. Dangit! Denise, I am doing the same thing, if I would quit when I get the first signal, I would be good, but I wait, and keep nibbling----DOH! We usually get money back come income tax time, which makes our accountant crazy! Rick claims single and zero dependents all year long! They take massive taxes out, and yes the gov't. gets to use it all year tax free, but it keeps us from spending it a dollar at a time, and gives us several thousand dropping in at one time, so we get to "do" something! We always buy a CD, then make a plan....small vacation, or something for the house. Trips are much more fun by the way than re roofing!!! It works for us, and so does the accountant so he doesn't say much other than to always remind us it is not the wisest way!!! We are in the middle of a blizzard....seriously. You cannot tell which way the snow is falling, the wind is blowing so hard you hear it howling! I opened the door, and pushed the storm door open to look, since it fogged up, and pushed snow off of the threshhold!! On a covered porch! Looks like DD is not going to work again tomorrow! I tried my suit on for Rick since I was so unhappy with it, and he said it looks great, he said he is impressed. I give up! Either he too needs new glasses, I am way hyper critical, or some of both! Well I am off to ebay for awhile....will check in tomorrow! Hugs~~ Kat

Kbug---please don't think we don't understand that.....every Mom should be so lucky as to be so loved.... Kat

I agree with the restraining order....if she shows up, and all is fine---you have the choice of calling the police or not, but if you ever need it, if she harrasses you at work, or tries to contact your kids at school---anything you have the order to fall back on. Plus it also shows a level of her disturbances, if she is ever to be locked up again--maybe next time they will keep her! Don't count on it though. My DH's ex just was released after being held for 3 hours----she went after her parents and uncle with a shotgun....she was going to take down the Episcopalian Church, starting with them. She comminicates with God when she wears her special cowboy hat---and he told her to do it. When my DD (step DD technically---but mine all the same) flattened her tire to keep her from chasing down her parents--the cop threatened to take my DD to jail. That is until the EX tried to lay her hand on his head, because God was telling her to baptise him. Crazy people everywhere!!! Restraining order seems in order---just what we recommended for the kids! Kat

That is what they told us about our investments---that they are like a roller coaster, highs and lows, and the only time you seriously get hurt in a crisis like this is when you jump off. So we buckled up and are holding on tight, and we have rebounded several thousand in the last few days....I feel so inept at it! We took an investing class, but still I feel at a loss for how to properly handle it. Jane--if I take my antacids late in the evening, I get that yucky slimy junk! Try your evening Zantac a few hours earlier, maybe. Or try one of the other OTC anacids, try the Prilosec or Tagamet... And stay on your DR.!!! Make them deal with you, that is why they get paid the big bucks!! Today, I had..... A clementine for breakfast About 5 bites of hamburger with grilled onions for lunch--no bread or anything. A snack size piece of cheddar cheese a few minutes ago and dinner is going to be slice of meatloaf, and some green beans. I drank 3 bottles of water, and a glass of tea this morning, and a glass of tea at lunch (I know....at lunch...should not have been drinking with lunch!), and will likely have another glass or 2 of tea before bed. hang on.....my tea glasses hold 2 cups of fluid, each cup is 8 oz. So.....1.5 liters of water.....and so far 32 ounces of tea with another 32 coming up....so 64 ounces total, plus the liter and a half of water. AND I worked out once, and going to more tonight! I am being so good! OK, off to put sauce on the meatloaf!! TTYL~ Kat

Walmart----those kind of places actually sell a airport kit now. It is packaged with clear bottles of the right size....even includes the quart zip top bag....I think it was like under $3.00. I saw it, I was going to check through my stuff from prior travels before going that route. I too am hoping to carry on everything---but since it is a straight through non stop flight, if I do have to check it, there is less of an opportunity for it to get lost. I DID IT!!!!! I have been to work out! Then Rick and I are begining our evening work outs again tonight. I am not holding my breath at it doing anything for my weight loss, until I get the thyroid levelled out again, but it makes me feel so much better about ME! I have ate pretty good today....drank pretty good--now if I can stay out of the ice cream I may have made a true bandster day again. It has been awhile since I could say that! Drove by and saw the house that blew up--OMG! It is a total loss---how they managed to save the neighborhood considering we are a small town, with a volunteer fire dept.---I will never know! The street across where the gas line ran is burned and melted, the neighbors flower pots are melted, neighbors window are broke out---the house is flat in some areas, and the chimney is hanging above nothing.....unreal. Scary! Dad and I exchanged our hard drives today so we can update pictures and things, and will swap back tomorrow. We each bought an external hard drive and we store all our pictures, and files on them --like copies of the front and back of all our credit cards etc. Copies of birth certificates, marriage license. I know those documents won't do me any good, but I will have them to get info from should I ever need it ---heaven forbid! We store them at one anothers house....figuring, what good does it do to have it in your own house??? So I am going to upload all my new pics to it tonight---he is already done! Of course he is, he did not spend all day trying on swimming suits and finding nothing better that what he already had! Guess for now my Target suit is going to have to work! Guess I will go check on the main thread, and look through my email---looks like my SIL went on a major sending spree!!! TTYL~~ Kat

I wish I had that dedication, but I don't....I want enough to maximize my health, and little enough I don't spend hours a day! Lazy me! Kat

Morning everyone! It is still morning here! I don't have tons of time, I am heading in to meet Rick for lunch---like I need that! It snowed here again, so Manda is working from home, and Kinsey is with her, so I might go try on some swimming suits at the mall today. Rick wants to take Kinsey swimming Wed. or Thursday, and I am not 100% sure of the suit I bought at Target, so going to look a bit. I wish I was more sure of size, I found one I liked on line! The explosion was from a gas line. An elderly woman apparantly---was sitting in her LR, and saw flames coming out from under her wall furnace---so she took off outside, got into her front yard, and half her house exploded. The high flames I saw were coming from the gas line running down the alley. They are lucky they did not blow up half the neighborhood!!! IT did not apparantly hurt her badly---I haven't heard more, this all come from Lindzie's bus stop people! When Manda works from home, she drives Lindzie down to catch her usual bus, so as not to confuse her. Well the bus stop is in the exploded houses front yard! So they had them on the corner, and several parents were there. Can you imagine if it had been at a different time, there are 8 kids at that stop---what a tragedy it could have been. Denise I thought about you and your DD all evening. I kept thinking "I should have told her this or that...." I would seriously call around and find out about shelters for abused women--they are safe houses. Then you can present her with several options. Set aside a couple hundred bucks if you can afford to, and if she shows up needing it, but refusing to stay---she could hit a motel 6. It is more difficult than I can say watching someone go through it, I cannot imagine the horrors I put my parents through! If I saw my DD go through some of it...I have no idea. Big hugs---will continue the prayers. I remember the younger DD is Shannyne (or something like) but don't remember this ones name. All of you forgetting your tips had me scouring the calendar to see if today was Tuesday--but I am good til tomorrow!!! I had an AHA moment last night. I had my stomach all calmed down and feeling good. I had eaten normally without issue. Then Rick and I were sitting on the love seat watching Extreme Makeover Home edition, and he grabbed a bag of pistachios we were given by my brother...so I took a handful, and within a short time, my stomach was killing me! I had eaten some before when I had the pain! This morning, I did a final test. I ate 1-----just 1 pistachio, chewed it extra well--not a chewed issue now I know, and within a short time my stomach hurt again!! So--no more pistachios for Kat! My brother deals with boils on his face from time to time. When he was injured so badly, they wired his face together, and for no reason sometimes he gets boils, and it is the bodies natural infections fighting the wire in his system they said. Of course this was so long ago, they used different things then than now. He sure hates it, and they look so painful. Sorry you are having problems Tracy----you have had a time of it that is for sure! My neighbor is in quarantine now with MRSA staff infection in her open wounds from back surgery. Hoping to get her moved back out to the general floor and then to an assisted living facility while they continue her treatment. They are moving her to the same facility my MIL went to when she had the double knee replacement. Most of the patients are joint recipients--and they are letting her go there, with an open staff infection. Does that seem risky to anyone else?? I have 3 deer and a roadrunner eating in my backyard right now! It is dripping off the house in such a glare, I cannot get a good shot for a picture, dayum. Snowed some more last night...as well as all the rain, and sleet, it could not make up its mind! Well I am off to get ready. BBL~~ Kat

Morning All! Betty---you did it now, made me so jealous!!! It snowed here yesterday, so obviously no riding for us. It has snowed so much around here, that even when it was fairly nice the other day when we considered it, we thought better of it. When it ices over, they sand the roads, and then all the mud falling from the oil field trucks, make the roads really dangerous for a bike this time of year....so we will wait. Dammit! Mandy, what kind of surgery are they talking about to fix Abi's bloody noses? I have had to have the chemical cautery done a couple of times myself, I have a blood vessel that is extremely close to the surface (result of a break), and it seems like once it breaks open for whatever reason, re injury, dryness with allergies, whatever, I have to have it cauterized to stop the bleeding, sometimes 2 or 3 times in a months time, then it quits and is fine for a few years! Hope Abi gets past her problem! You girls need to get well and stay that way! Jetti---slow but sure wins the race!!! I mean we would all love to go to bed fluffy and wake up not--but, it doesn't work that way!!! A slow approach to fills is in my opinion the right way to go! Sneak up on restriction, don't allow yourself to get too tight! I am contemplating a teeny tiny fill.....like .02 cc maybe. But will see, after I kick myself in the butt and actually exercise regularly again, I might not need it!! Dianne--you still going to Curves? I am recommiting today actually! Been there this morning, and it was not as bad as I feared!!! I had lost a pound (big whoopee!!) and my measurements for all intents and purposes had remained steady. A half inch here and there one up one down---mostly clothing differences I would guess. I am going to kick into high gear! I am shooting for a daily trip as opposed to every other day! I want my "strength" up, when Spring hits, I want to be able to go and do, and not wear out! Wish me luck! I am making February's Wall of Fame---I intend on being a big loser there....y'all have to help keep me motivated! Well I have to get it in gear--I am meeting Rick in town for our eye exam---which is VERY good, I need glasses......first time ever, and it is so apparant! Last year he put me in reading glasses, and the difference, omg! But now without them reading is difficult, and everyday vision is blurring some. So looks like I will head straight into bifocals--yep girlies.....I IS OLD! Talk to y'all later, sorry I missed so many! Kat

I agree that the only way this man should be required to pay for a child that is not his, is by agreement. Then the CS should hinge on full adoption, he should have as much legal right to fight to raise the child as she does if he is going to pay for the child. This business of you pay, but you don't get to share in the childs life is crap! It will be a moot point as soon as the child is old enough to be properly brain washed to the custodial parents way of thinking anyway! I can honestly say without a doubt the best gift I ever gave my DD was to not talk trash about her father---and to let her develop her own relationship and eventual opinion of him. I realize this is not an option with the pedophile father in prison, but in a general sense....I could not give her a set of loving parents, but I also worked VERY hard not to give her my feelings on the matter. I did not raise a dummy, she is an adult now, and sees things with an adult eye and heart, and she knows. But she never had to experience the hurt the kids we are discussing did. I watched my Aunt divorce at the same time I did, her kids were in their early teens, and she talked to them about the divorce, their Dads infidelities, etc., I saw them hurt---they still in their late 30's struggle with it! The only good thing I found in it, was instruction in what not to do! Poor kids in all these cases end up suffering because of parents. I hope as divorce becomes more and more prevalent ... that more of them learn from their own childhoods, to be more accepting, and handle the divorce better. Kat

You are up late like me tonight Jane! My heart is finally slowing down, so I am heading to bed soon! Kat

Well--my heart is pounding and I am WIDE awake!! I was making the coffee pot for morning, and something nearby exploded, rattled the house. I opened the door and kind of looked around---saw nothing so come in. A few minutes later, sirens started and there just kept getting to be more and more sirens, so back outside I went. Mind you it is sleeting, and cold and nasty outside--but when I walked down my driveway, you could see smoke in the streetlights, and then I saw the flames! A huge fire, right in the direction of my parents and Manda's house. I come in and figured to heck with it, and called my parents----line out of order, goes to an immediate busy circuit signal. Which made me freak out even more. So I woke Rick up and told him I was gonna go check on them. The closer I got the more direct the line of fire looked with their house! It ended up a block this side of their place...the house is fully engulfed, they had the neighborhood being evacuated---it exploded from a gas leak. The utility company was there today to supposedly fix it! Manda's boyfriends Mom lived like 3 doors down, and the lady who takes care of Lindzie is right next door---and semi disabled, she is in remission right now with lung cancer---and the smoke so thick you could have cut it! Manda said she went to another neighbors, and could not reach her DD---because no one had phone service, so Ryan (the BF) drove her over to her DD's. I would be freaking out over my house--that fire is friggin huge! As I was coming home, firetrucks from other stations were still coming in.... I called my folks cell phone, and of course they have it turned off! I guess they will be ok, and will find out what is going on---when they find out! I am just glad they are ok!---can't help but worry about the people who were in the house, no one knows if they were there or not. They had been evacuated earlier while the utility company was working, but the neighbors, none of them knew if they ever come back. I didn't stay and talk to Ryan and his Mom anymore, Rick was waiting, and the neighborhood needed to be cleared out, I did not want to be in anyones way as they tried to get to what they needed to do. Scary business! Anyway, guess I will play some Solitaire, and try to relax so I can go to bed! See ya in the morning! Kat

OR------------all 11 of us can walk into a restaurant, order 2 entrees, with 11 forks, and y'all 3 can split the ticket!!! LMAO!! Gotta love the bandster life! LOL Kat

Denise, that hits very close to home. It is hard to say what he is doing or saying that have her in a position that she feels she must stay. Plus you have to take into consideration her being pregnant, she is full of hormone induced emotions. She wants her life to be different---and she knows she wants it to be different, and is begining to make the move, or you would never have known about it. If she was still hiding it, as she apparantly did the first time or so--you would not know. Simply by "coming out" and admitting it is happening, she is making the first step. I know you had issues with her living with you---are you prepared to change that? If you are, or if you have an alternate plan for her, as far as a place to live etc. keep repeating that option to her. Remind her she is not alone. I know you have, I just doubt many people know how many times you need to hear it---and you never know exactly when the right time to say it will cooincide with the exact time she needs to hear it. It is painful....more emotionally than physically. To grow up in a home free of any violence, and then be hit, it hurts your heart and soul, because you know that is not love. You question every decision you make, wondering how you got where you are...and begin to believe you may really deserve it, because afterall----here you are. I cannot explain it well, but it is such a deep hurt, you seem to try that much harder. Like the puppy that comes up and licks the person who just kicked them....you beg for the love you just KNEW was there. I truly believe her telling you to be a very good sign. Keep the lines of communication open, and as hard as it is, rather than speak ill of him, speak lovingly to her, and repeat how she does NOT deserve that, and her child does not deserve to learn that either. She already knows all that.... but it helps to hear it. It is a sad time for her too. Scary, when the person you trust the least is yourself. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Big hugs to both of you!! Kat

I agree, when we were looking into all different areas---we would have possibly had rental car expenses etc. We all agreed to go to SA--not because you guys insisted!! You are planning, phoning, using your own vehicles--I think it is fine the way it stands. I don't feel you owe me a rebate either! I thought the same thing when you mentioned it the first time, but simply forgot all about it! Until Jane (thank you) reminded me of it all! Kat

So sorry you are sick Pamela! I have done similar things. Stopped Rick from doing that the other day! I removed some things from the fridge that had been there too long, and sat the bowls on the counter above the trash, was waiting to open them and dump them until I was ready to take the trash out. He actually come in and was going to eat something out of one of them! OMG--yuck! Yours I understand fully--he was just off his rocker! Feel better soon! Wasn't it you that reminded Michelle during her stomach virus, to look on the bright side at the weight she was "losing"? If not you--whoever it was....now you can think that way!! Tomorrow girls I amp up the exercise again.....ok, maybe when you aren't doing much of anything, simply doing it will be a move in the right direction!!! But tomorrow begins it, whether my Mom cooperates or not. She used to go work out as well, so she and I would share Kinsey during that time, I would drop her off with Mom, go work out, call her and she would drop Kinsey back with me, while she went....but when she hurt her knee, she could no longer do either she thought. She was worried about not being able to deal with Kinsey if she got hurt. Well her knee is better, surgery is behind her, and whether she wants to work out again or not, I am. I may have to go to the college so I can be there at 4 AM--but I am going whatever it takes. I have too many stresses on my mind at night, and I am not doing enough exercise, so I lay awake at night contemplating things---and stay tired all the time. I need to wear myself out again. So I can sleep. Oh yeah some weight loss would be nice too! Terry---we use a local area bank and our debit has no benefits like that. I found myself using it all the time, where as if I rely on having cash, I spend less. Everyone is different, but I think twice about parting with the cold hard cash! Sliding my card is easy!!! I play games with my bank account---mind games! When I balance my account, if say the balance is $842.00----I take the $42.00 and put it into the savings, and start over with the even amount. I never seem to actually miss the money out of the checking account, and it allows my savings to grow. Then we set a balance amount in our savings account, and everytime we get to $1000.00 above that amount, we do something with the extra thousand bucks, whether it be a CD---or invest it. If we challenge ourselves, we do really good. When we don't we just get complacent, find ourselves spending like crazy, eating out all the time....no idea why--but if we have a goal we seriously work towards it. And the way our 401K fell it might be a damned good thing---what a hit we took! For now---what I save---is my Gruene fund!!! Saving the Green for Gruene!! Wooooo Hooooo!!!!!!!!!! Well I am off to wrap some birthday presents for Ray-Ray. His Daddy is gonna love me.....I am so paying him back for his noisy childhood!! Will check in later... Kat

Jane, I had it bad prior...and had a hiatal hernia repaired during surgery. It stayed gone, for about 5 months, then come back. The Dr. figured it herniated again---as my band looks fine. Both of my parents have terrible problems with GERD, as I did prior...and do again! I have a wedge I sleep on---and do my best to go to bed on as empty of a stomach as possible. And even with the meds, and the wedge, I still have to avoid sleeping on my back! I take Prilosec OTC once a day---not sure it does anything though!!! Sorry you are having issues with it, it really sucks! Kat

Most states anymore have a formula they use, it is the same for everyone. It enters how much each parent makes, who is responsible for insurance, day care, and other child related expenses if there are any, figures that in, and then supposedly equalizes things. There are however things that do not get figured in...such as other child support received! My son pays child support from his first marriage, his ex wife has 3 kids by 3 different men, and recieves CS from all 3, and maintenance from 2 of them. As it stands right now, she gets $2100.00 a month from the guys, and is receiving a Pell grant to go to school, and qualifies for it, as a single mom, and it overpays her local community college tuition and books by as much as $2500.00 per semester. She does not have to work. She likely won't for many years to come. I can only hope she is being a good mom for my granddaughter.... Kat

Wonder if Tracy fell in???? Jennifer, we too keep a fun stash of money. We even have a separate account it all goes into. Back in the day before we were married, we kept separate accounts, due to his ex, and the whole child support thing. We never closed what used to be mine when we combined things, so we always deposited our change in it. Then about 3 years ago, maybe more--we decided to save $5.00 bills. We never spend a $5. $1's or $10's or other is fine, but we never spend a $5. We have a bank on our dresser, made from a motorcycle gas tank, and we drop them all in it. Then what we save through the year is what we make our motorcycle trips on. You would be shocked to see how fast it adds up! We slowed down for awhile, as we were both pretty much just living with our debit cards...but we also noticed we were spending a lot more, so went back to using cash on a day to day basis, and our spending slowed down, and our savings flourished again!!! Last time I deposited out of our tank, which is coin change and the $5's I deposited over $900.00!!! Pamela----sooo glad you had fun! I love concerts! It always seems like everyone is happy and having a good time! Hope Susanne is feeling better....sounds to me, like since you got to go and she didn't she gets the back massage! I am so proud of y'all losing weight so quickly right now! You must be doing something right! Not me! I am not gaining, just sitting. I hope the new dosage will do something good for me with my thyroid! Suzanne---I think they will be kind and make you an honorary Shrinkin' Violet. They did me! I am actually an April 06 bandster! My 06 group ended up dwindling down to nothing but an exercise thread--one of which they were all runners it seemed. Well I cannot run. I have a tumor in my leg, and I cannot do high impact anything. So I was mainly there....supporting. Then we come over here to "mentor" the next years April bandsters. And I found a home. I seriously Thank God for these Violets everynight---they have been a blessing to my life, and I know they will be to yours too. I cannot wait to meet them, I sure do wish you could find a way to get there!!! Well we went to Becky & Gary's for dinner and ended up playing a game of Mexican Train with them, and their youngest son and his fiance. Rick and I kicked butt!! Tomorrow we have to go back over there for their Grandsons birthday, he is turning 3. I got him a great noisy toy! Tonight they made some super hot stuffed jalapenos though, and with my stomach having been so wierd, I opted against eating them. So I snacked on some ritz/pretzel things she had, and then could not eat the steak, I was full on about 7 crackers. I have no idea what is up. I don't hurt anymore though, and it isn't like I have serious restriction, or no restriction, it is just being kinda touchy. I think I over ate the other day---grazing----and now I have some swelling. So I will take it easy again tomorrow, and hope it is all ok. For now I am going to go check my ebay sales stuff and then head to bed. I get to sleep in again tomorrow---whooppee!! See ya tomorrow! Kat

Oh poooooor you Laura!!! Poor kitties too, but seriously pooooor you!!! My old cat was an indoor/outdoor cat, he did his thing outdoors. I don't do well with poop--litter boxes just are beyond me! So I am totally feeling for you----so, so sorry you are having a "crappy" day!!!! Hope the cats feel better soon!!! Kat

No wonder we all have Beannie on our minds---today is her birthday!!! Wherever you are Miss Beannie--love you , miss you and hope all is well!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Kat