Kat817

Hi girls-- Jennifer, you should be ashamed of yourself! Made a half witted woman scroll back through post after post of Judy's looking to see what in her life I missed!!! I read about Michelles concerns, and was up to date on that, but I missed what was going on with Judy....finally decided to just admit I missed it and ask.....and read further!!! Well I thought I felt 100%. My stomach/band issues are much better. Still tender, still sticking to a soft diet for a few days....but things are passing through so it is ok. But this virus reared it's ugly head again today. I thought I was up to walking a motorcycle swap meet.....nope! Had to have Rick drive up to get me at the curb.....my fever popped up, and I was just spent all of a sudden!!! Come home took a nap, and some Tylenol---and feel pretty good again! Manda brought me some Tylenol for kids aged 6-12, called Rapid Melts or something like that---these she give me were actually store brand---but same thing. They pop in your mouth and kind of dissolve--no chewing required, no Water required, and when I couldn't swallow anything---they saved me! I would much prefer to slowly dissolve 4-6 of them than chew 2 of the Tylenol To Go's----they gag me!!! Jane my DH has given me a hard time over your card!!! She wrote to Roomie and Rick in the card---since we are Gruene roomies.....so he called me Roomie! LOL It was very cute, thanks so much! I love getting good things in the mail! And I noticed the other day you passed your half way point with your weight! I cannot scroll back far enough to your last post----but I wanted to tell you way to go!! Gina, I see you here, this girl that lives down the road, walked by with her puppy earlier, a 11 week old German Shepard---made me think of yours!!! This ones name is Cybil (Cybil Shepard)! How you doing??? Michelle, I agree if your DD is worried enough to cry, then ask if she wants to have it looked into or not.....just a thought. I hate when kids worry about being different. It is hard being a kid. Judy----sorry, I am not a good one to paint or remove paper---I get tired and giddy, and begin painting whoever is helping me, and that kind of thing!!! TracyK--How did Macy like Horton? Laura---has your pain totally gone away? I am so glad you have found a Dr. you can get started with, it makes such a difference, when you don't have to state your entire family history or even your own history each time. Hope you feel better! Jenn---did you catch Laura's stuff? Or mine? Or Haydee's?? Good grief we are a sad, sick bunch the last few days! Pamela----Get Susanne all moved? Enjoy the visit with her parents? What kind of German goodies did you get? I am always so jealous!!! Well, My son and family just showed up to show us their new dog....they bought an English Bulldog. He is cute! I tried to get them to pocket the cash and hit the pound DIL said no! Oh well! BBL~~ Sorry if I didn't get to you yet--I will!! Kat

Well----another cup of hot tea, and a small bowl of soup down. Feels like it is sitting there a bit confused!! But that is pretty normal, for my food to take awhile....oh yeah that IS the goal!!!! Anyway, Rick is totally relieved---I keep telling him---ME TOO!!! Every muscle in my body hurts from the shakingI did yesterday when I was freezing with the fever....it is hard to move around today!!! If I get in bed on one side, I have to get out on the same side. I used to HAVE to use one certain fork---I just liked it, the tines were smaller---I would wash it up between meals so I would have it!!! I am moving on from it now!!! When I was first pregnant, and did the La Maze classed, they taught us a breathing techinque to calm yourself in the very early stages of labor---breathing very concentratedly in to a count of 5 and out to a count of 5. I still do that anytime I am stressed---or even when I am working out and need to be sure I am breathing, not holding my breath, I will do it to a count of 5!! LOL---idiosyncrasies (sp?)----yep I am just as wierd!!! Rick has wierd ones, that are old wives tales passed on from his parents!!! No walking in one shoe or you will have bad luck---a horror with me trying on shoes!!! No rocking a rocking chair with no one sitting in it, or you have bad luck..... All kinds, he is slowly being less influenced by them, much to his Mothers horror!!! LOL---going to go to bed, I am exhausted!!! Thanks my friends for always being there for me! Kat

Working on my 4th half full mug of tea----my pulse is down to the high 80's. So that indicates my hydration levels are UP!!! YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!! SOOOOO glad I have you all here! I would have been so much worse without this connection! Hugs~~ Kat

Hi girls--------Pat I am so sorry I missed your birthday---I have been having hell. As I said, I had the sinus junk, and it went into bronchitis, the meds made me soooooo sick! Everything I tried to take made me sick! So...the first day I stuck to liquids as I was always instructed following a PB or throwing up. First day I did ok, then by yesterday---I was blocked, or swollen closed! I ran a fever of 103.4 + for hours yesterday....I was sooo sick! I couldn't swallow anything to take anything for the fever. Finally my DD brought me some meltaway Tylenol Childrens of my granddaughters, and I took several over a few hours, and it worked. Today no fever.....Anywhooooo... So I call my band doc, he is out of town til Monday, the doc filling in for him is in Denver! So.....on to my second level of security, I called my oncologist, who had agreed to do an emrgency unfill---he is now teaching at the big medical center--the name escapes me in Scottsdale AZ. But they look through my file, tell me come on in. When I get there, they realize they do not have a needle long enough to tap my port.....so call my doc back, he suggests a Fill Center USA. I call, my closest one is in Albq. 3.5 hours away, and they cannot get me in until Thursday. Now the patient coordinator at Fill Center USA was wonderful, she is still calling me to check on me, but the Albq place sucked! The coordinator found me a center in Arizona 5 hours away that will come in any time night or day and work on me. In the meantime, I called my Uncle who is a Dr. He has a friend somewhere near him in Mississippi, who does bands, and he had him call me. We talked and discussed this for 30 minutes. He finally told me he was going to suggest something pretty unorthodox for a band doc, and told me to totally empty my stomach---even if I had to gag myself----and then to sip quickly a cup of hot tea with sugar as hot as I could stand it. He was thinking that I have had this fill less than 2cc. for almost 2 years, he thinks the swelling is combining with the mucus from my bronchitis, and plugging me up. The hot should break thatup he said. So I did it. Drank 1/2 a mug, it stayed down. Half an hour later the second one stayed down, and I just finished the 3rd. And it does not have me feeling full at all....in fact I feel, dare I say it---quite normal! I was soooooo dehydrated! My BP was like 76/52 but my pulse was over 120!! Anyway I am much better, yesterday and this morning were tough, but I am thinking I am going to survive! Pat I hope your day was special--you are a special lady, and I value the friendship we have formed! I hate I missed sending my love and wishes for a happy day on time....please forgive me! Will be back when I am up and around to catch up with all of you! Hugs~~ Kat

Terry--I went to fill in my info and it looks totally different that it did when I went in the first time.....help!!!!!!! Kat

Hi girls-- Well flying to my surgeon, is not really an option. I would have to fly to San Diego, and then drive for a couple hours---I cannot get a passport til I get my name changed.....a damn good reason to get that done, but I cannot change it and my ID until after our trip or my travel doc's and my ID wouldn't match!!! I called my Uncle for help. He is an MD----he has a friend who does lots of band things. He actually called me, we talked for quite awhile, and he told me he was going to recommend something a bit unorthodox for a band Dr. to say-----but he told me to totally empty my stomach, even if I had to gag myself, and then to have some HOT---as hot as I could handle it water or preferably sweetened tea---as I could use the sugar--and drink it in a sipping manner, but as quickly as I could. His theory was that with this getting so tight during me being sick, I was just as likely plugged with mucus (like we discussed Tracy) as I was super swollen. He said after 2 years with no more than 2cc.'s he couldn't imagine me swelling that much. So I tried the throwing up, got a small amount of greenish snotty slime-------sorry it is so gross----but that is the sinus junk I am dealing with. I drank one coffee mug about 1/2 full of hot tea. It stayed down. Well like I told Rick, my stomach holds that much! It doesn't mean it is going through, until I have to potty, I will have no idea if it went through, and I am so dehydrated it might not even make me go! So about a half an hour later, I drank another 1/2 a mug. So far both are down, and I am not hurting golf ball style or anything. Jeff, my Uncles friend told me, that depending on why the band is swollen depends on what you treat with hot or cold. He said the make up of the band....indicates hot--being plastic and silicone, the warmth eases it. If the issue is stomach, sometimes cool eases the swelling, as in following a fill. But since I had not really done that, I wanted to work within the band, and if it was mucus plugged, then the warmth might dislodge the blockage. I am not having pain.....I felt like hell yesterday, I was running over 103 fever, but when that went away, I feel fine. I am not starving....I was terribly thirsty, the tea helped. Still not sure if it is going through or not. Fill Centers USA--as a rule has been wonderful! The patient coordinator I talked to has called me hourly to check on me, and been trying to work things for me. Found me a Fill Center in Heber Arizona, she said she googled it and it is about a 5 hour drive-but she would (the Dr.) come in any time this weekend to unfill me. So..... If this warm liquid goes through, and I can take it in---I will try to hang in there, and see my Dr. If not we will leave for AZ at the time we decided it isn't working, and she said no problem, it sounded like the ideal way to handle it. The Fill Center coordinator was going to write up a report on the unwillingness of the Albq. office to work with us---she said that is not the face they want to present. For now, I am ok-----just waiting, to see how things go. I feel pretty good.....kinda weak. Going to check my BP & pulse again here in a little while, that will give me a clue whether the dehydration is easing. Earlier my BP was only 78/52!!! But my pulse was 124! Not too good the doc said! Tracy, when this gets handled---and it is not so chaotic, I plan on calling you and talking for real! You should have your box by then. And Rick said you don't have to pay anything for shipping, if I will mail it out of our house he is willing to pay------anything to clear some stuff out!!! I don't see him getting rid of any motorcycles or motorcycle junk though....smart alec that he is! But I Hope some of it works for you. I got the box ready, he took it to the PO---I have no idea ---he said he sent it with confirmation---but he had no idea what he did with the slip, he said it must be in the truck! men......... OK----gonna go reheat my heating pad--------another suggestion--heat on the band site----he said this is quite common with sinus problems, allergy sufferers are being warned of this now with banding..... BBL~~~ thanks so much---I love you girls! Kat

Hi girls---sorry for not checking in earlier. I was pretty out of it last night. We drove to Durango, they were totally unhelpful----concerned for their $$$$ only. Then this morning I have spent all morning on the phone trying to get help--which is not forthcoming! Before I had my surgery--I picked my surgeon, Dr. Brown in CO., then insurance failed me, so I went to MX, Dr. Brown agreed to do aftercare--he is 6-7 hours away....over snow packed mountain passes at this time of year. So since he was so far away I set up with my oncologist to do an emergency unfill for me. Well this hits---my PCP, and my band Dr., are both out of town until Monday. The stand in for my band Dr. is in Denver. So one of Becky's co workers was unfilled at the ER in Durango---they turned me away. My local ER also said they had no way to do it, I needed to be seen by my band Dr. I contacted the oncology center, and my old oncologist is not in practice anymore, they did however find my file, and would see me, but they do not have nor could they get before probably Tuesday a Huber needle, which is needed for deep tissue non coring port taps..... So we widened the circle of search....there is a Fill Center USA in Albq. now, they can fit me in on Thursday. I explain to the almost non English speaking woman, that is not going to work! Actually I called the main office, spoke with a very nice understanding girl, who then conferenced in the Albq. Dr.'s office, who acted like she did not even understand what an unfill was. She cannot fit me in until Thursday. By the time I leave here, even if I left now, I would not make it to the band Dr.'s offices in Denver in time. Not sure what I am going to do.... But I am not totally dehydrated--I still have tears! This is so frustrating. I was prepared! Just not for them to all abandon ship at once. I have been trying to sip water again....guess I will just do my best, and if it gets bad, go in for IV fluids....and hope I don't erode in the meantime. Thanks for calling Tracy---wish I hadn't been so distracted.... Will let you know. Hugs~~ Kat

Tylenol helped fever it is down to 100---aches and pains are eased, it stayed down, but I am still unable to drink at will---it is tiny sips, and I feel them stop....apparantly they are slowly seeping through.....not sure what to do at this point, wait it out, or unfill............ And I don't get any email notification of this thread, no matter how many times I click the button....grrrr Thanks for being there girls! Kat

Ok girls not wanting to be a downer here, but I have serious problems. I have been up since 7 and have taken a sip of tea every 15 minutes. 4 times it has come back upin the form of foam....the rest has remained down, but I feel it, pressure in my chest. So I called my band Dr. ready to drive 6 hours--not. I also have the flu. Fever over 103----freezing and chilling then burning hot, and miserable, head feels ready to explode, but I cannot take anything. Well Manda just brought me some dissolving Tylenol of Kinseys, going to see if that helps. Anyway---my band doc is out of town. His on call Dr. is in PUeblo CO-8 hours or so. Took the dissolving tylenol, and so far so good. going to keep sipping tea. Becky works with a woman who has been banded, at Swedish in Denver, but she had an emergency unfill under fluero in Durango. Going to try it til 4 PM if nothing else comes up, and the fever goes down, I am going to try to wait it out. If anything even spits up I am going for a total unfill. I also called my oncologist who agreed to do an emergency unfill, and found out he is in the hospital himself----had to have his gall bladder removed......all the cards are stacking against me! I need purple power--I am really scared. Kat

I will fill out the info tomorrow Terry---I will have to look it back up. I just got up to shower, and am going back to bed. My NYquil problem has hurt me, I am down to sips of liquid only--nothing else stays down. Add that to the cold or whatever I have and it has been a crappy day, spent most of it in bed. Will check in tomorrow. Night Kat

Morning all, Laura, so sorry you had such a rough night. I hate ER's for that reason. It is all such a hurry up and wait thing. They almost waited too long on Rick's appendix. Terry---I knew you said your sister said mean things to your Mom, and I kind of, not really stood up for her, but maybe sympathized with her at the time, but I had NO IDEA you were talking about something like this! OMG, I have no idea what I would do in your situation. Maybe telling sister that until she can control her temper and emotions she needs to stay away, but then she would know your Mom talked to you about it, and just get that much madder. Oh Hon I have no idea! Poor Mom. How would she react to getting a bunch of get well cards filled with Purple Power???? I didn't mean to minimalize what your sister did, or to agree with it, I had no idea of the severity of it.... Well, I am hoping my band is ok. I took that Nyquil, and OMG-----made me SO sick....I barely made it to the bathroom, puking hard. Dry heaves for an hour seriously. Now I keep getting the golfball feeling in my chest even though I am only drinking. I called my fill Dr. who is also a surgeon. He said it sounds like I seriously irritated the esophagus, to eat a bland non acidic diet for a couple of days, keep my portions small, and concentrate on liquids.....and not to take anymore Nyquil ---------like anyone needed to tell me that! He said as long as my liquid is going down, there will be nothing they could do for a slip today any different than in 2-3 days or a week for that matter. So, to baby my stomach, and maybe it is just spasming from the assault it took. I was shocked, I called and told Andrea, one of the girls at the desk, she has been there since before I was banded. She put me on hold and in a couple minutes, the Dr. was on the line. He also said he didn't think right now unfilling me would do a lot as I don't have a lot of fill in, he thinks my band placement was done in a way I am not needing a lot of fill. Which answered some of my questions anyway! He wants to see me in the next month to check me over. I told him the appointment was already set for the 11th, and he said that would be fine. So keeping my fingers crossed, and my diet bland.....it is pretty uncomfortable today. Add to that my cold, and I am not a happy girl! Rick just got out of the Dr. he has bronchitis. He wanted me to go to my Dr, but he is out of town until Monday. Which is ok, my cold may get worse, but I am not wanting to put antibiotics in my belly right now anyway. It has been nice Springy weather here, and this morning is no exception, blue skies, windy, but sunny---doesn't matter, I am freeeeeeeeeezing!! Suzanne---do you feel up to working today? Sounds like we were bit by the same bug. Michelle---I am so glad you got your inspiration back from our own words!! LOL! I remember when you were all worried about insurance, and having the surgery, and comparing post ops----all my little chicks!!! LOL----Now all the chicks are smaller than the old mother HEN!!!!! I am so proud to be part of this group though--I know I don't tell y'all often enough how thankful I am you allow me to be part of you! But--THANK YOU!! Pamela--poor Johnny---kids can get so sick so quick. Kinsey has had a runny nose forever, but the pediatricians do not like to give out meds, and don't recommend OTC things often, so we keep wiping, and handing out juice and vitamins! She eats really healthy. Anyway she goes back to the pediatrician today. Judy--Enjoy your new tunes!!! Rick has a portable Sirius system he used to pop back and forth between his truck and the company truck. He offered it to me when he moved up and quit using the company truck-------but I hated all the wires! I wouldn'tmind if it was like what you are doing and built in! TracyK--Sharon told me she was dropping another bag off, but I have not seen it, so will ship this as is, and if she gets it here, will just send another box. It will go out today. Promise! TracyKS---all your boys well now? Jane---How'd the taxes go? Are we still going to be roomies!!!??? LOL, seems like taxes eat up all of DH's check! He puts pretty heavy into his 401K, and a stock purchase program, our insurances, and a medical flex account. Then for the first few months of the year, money comes out to go into a Roth IRA purchase, which maxes out in July or something and quits deducting from his check, but he brings home less than half of what he makes.....some of it our stuff, but tons of it is taxes. We do overpay though, preferring to get a refund as to owing. I had lost weight this morning, was down to 183----but not expecting that to last, I was totally dehydrated after my problem last night. So I am not claiming it yet! I am going to go curl up under a blanket and snooze awhile.... BBL~~ Kat

I have no idea of the calorie breakdown of my day!! B--nothing, started drinking tea L- 1 chicken bacon rancher mini sandwich from Applebees, and 2 glasses of Water D--1-1/2 cups of mixed veggie salad. 1/8 c. homemade ranch w/ fat free mayo, half a dozen croutons, sprinkle of sunflower seeds, and 2 roasted chicken tenderloins. More tea I have had to force myself to eat today, and my salad is not digesting well..... Oh after dinner snack----a shot of nightime Nyquil!!! Wishing my tummy would settle so I could go to sleep! Manda is not planning to continue to see Ryan. She entertained the thought, but Lindzie's reaction or lack of to them moving out, solidified her stance that things are not right between them, and that is not likely to change. Lindzie is very much like Ryans Mom seems to me, quite manipulative---they seem sweet and concerned but with his Mom I get that hair on the back of my neck tingle that she is not always genuine..... Manda actually rented an apartment. She thought about Jason's offer, and decided that might just be too confusing for Kinsey. She has not signed a lease, and in fact may end up moving back to the trailer she remodeled----not sure at this point. She is trying to keep things in a happy place for Kinsey. Jason is definitely trying to win her back. Ryan refused to let her take her car---it is in both names, and so she was without wheels, she sold hers to buy that one....he may change his tune when he calms down. But Jason offered her his Jeep. She will be driving our van. She figures she can find a car over the weekend maybe. She needs something reliable---she drives about 75 miles a day to and from work. Anyway-----I too am worried about Laura. I ask earlier if her suddenly having the period after so long might be involved. Tonight when I was peeling a hardboiled egg for Ricks salad, I wondered if maybe she ate one that was bad....still thinking and wondering about her. Wouldn't be surprised if they admitted her, which is why we have not heard from her. Big hugs headed your way Laura. Pamela--my Mom sent me over the 3rd installment of the yarn shop books tonight!!! The author of the ones she read is Debbie Macomber. The first book was The Shop on Blossom Street, the second was A Good Yarn, and this one is Back on Blossom Street. Did you get a chance to read yours? Any good? OK....gonna go try to go to bed. See ya in the morning---this cold is kickin' my butt!! Kat

In the new movie "Horton Hears a Who" there is a line by the little fluffy yellow friend of Horton's, saying in his world they "eat butterflies and poop rainbows"---or it might even be the other way around eat rainbows, and poop butterflied, I don't remember, but my 3 year old granddaughter does, and repeats it often!!!! I have posted a wide variety of both positive, as well as grumpy, and not so positive posts through the years. I have actually started very few threads, mostly post on others---stating my experiences as I know them to be, and often relating things I have seen or heard from others. I try to be positive the majority of the time, even when responding to people with problems---or fears. In fact I responded in just that way I think to the OP's other post that LJM brought up. I am not trying to sugar coat the lows----just reminding them, that the majority of us here, have been through what they are going through, the fear of surgery, or Bandster Hell or whatever, and survived! I understand how the big number of complaints and complications could be intimidating, but like Marimaru said, those not experiencing problems aren't here saying that. I didn't start a thread today saying "Another problem free day for me!" Good grief, if we all did that-----it would show the balance, but too many of the successful bandsters are out living their lives, and not posting at all!! You state that if the complainers spent their time trying to fix the problems you mentioned as opposed to whining here, it would all be ok.....but exactly how is someone whos port has flipped, or cannot be located without multiple pokes supposed to fix that themselves?? When I got my first fill, I quit counting after 12 pokes. I believe it was in the neighborhood of 17 when he finally got it. I carry most of my weight in my belly---he was not the operating surgeon, and I have a low profile port, securely and deeply implanted. I tried to fix the problem! I made a map!!! I placed a paper on my belly, traced where my scars are---and X'd the spot he finally found my port. Now keep in mind no less than 7 or 8 of those pokes were in an area the size of a dime. I thought I had the problem whipped....not so! When I went back for my second fill, I had lost weight----and my map was useless!!! I got my fill, in less sticks, but it was still a 5-6 poke day. And unless you have seen the fill needle---it is not to be taken lightly! Yes if you are eating tons of food, or not chewing you can fix those things---but not all things! And having someone who has been there, comfort your fears, or share in yours---helps! There are other lap band support groups out there, and I hope you find one that better fits your needs. Kat

My DH and my DD said the same thing Judy---do it! In fact when I demured, my DD told me---and this is an exact quote of our conversation---------- Manda ---"C'mon Mom grow some balls, Grandma would have got one in a second! I'm gonna get one of a Violet for her, I love the idea" Me------"Grow some balls? Who raised you? Besides if I can do that, then fine I'll get THEM tattooed!!!" My DH thinks it is something I will regret not doing, but I ask just the other day and it is an entire year I cannot donate....that really upsets me, so I will have to think about it, and make my decision on the spur of the moment I believe! Kat-----and nope, nuttin' growin' yet!!!

My insurance woman I spoke with was really nice too00gave me her direct extension so I do not have to go through all the explanations each time. I promised myself I would wait to call again tomorrow!! I am soooooo hoping it has been approved. I have everything on that list---and they sent off pictures, I had an actual breakdown that was bleeding the day of the appointment. So.....keeping my fingers crossed. Went and picked up Kinsey, she and Lindzie were with my Mom for a bit while they talked and discussed technicalities....I was there when Ryan come after Lindzie---give him a hug, said I was sorry things didn't work out for them, and he started crying! He got it together, and said he would miss Kinsey, and give her a hug, and he left in a hurry. SO frikken' sad. They both want to be happy---but it was not working.....so....what do ya do? Anyway---I need to go fix our salad, we are having chefs salad for dinner. Kinsey loves helping chop veggies! Laura----learned anything yet??? BBL~~ Kat

Green, did the oncologist mention why he believes it may have spread or where? I ask, because my first visit at my oncologists---I met with a different Dr. than the one that ultimately became MINE! He told me that the type of cancer I had, and as long as some of my issues had been ignored, I was almost guaranteed that my lymph system had been compromised by the cancer. He went on to tell me the high percentages that follow the female circle he called it, going from reproductive organs to breast, how common brain cancer was as a secondary cancer....on and on and on! I come home, a scared ass basket case! I did 6 months of oral chemo prior to my surgery (total hysterectomy), then followed up with another round of 16 weeks of infused therapy on top of an oral concoction. In the end, mine had not spread. This September will mark 5 years. Many aspects are as you say icky, and often painful---but it is worth it! Like we say about our bands---it's worth it. Sometimes it is hardest to talk to those we love, and share our fears, and anger, and what have you. It is hard to burden them with your feelings as they try to process their own. Please know if ever you want someone to unload on----I am here---and it looks like lots of us are. Have a spoon or 2 of ice cream for me....I didn't lose any weight! Kat

Well heck, I just went to the Applebees website to get a calorie count on the chicken bacon rancher sandwich I ate, and they do not provide a breakdown on anything besides their weight watchers menu items. I am loving the little chicken sandwiches, and the mini cheeseburger, it is the perfect size----I ate all but about half the top bun---was wonderfully full, yet not overly so....ideal! Of course we ordered the triple appetizer----So Rick ate the boneless hot wings, and the other chicken ranch sandwich!!! But it was nice. I needed him to talk to. I guess Manda had called him, and told him she was sorry, she did not want to disappoint us. He said he told her he was disappointed for her that things didn't work out as she had hoped, but SHE was not a disappointment. That if she was standing on a street corner selling herself and drugs, then he might be disappointed in her, but this is nothing, he just hopes she can find a way to be happy, and safe....and he will always be there to help her. Took everything I had not to bawl there in Applebees. But she is almost done-------everything is loaded, and ready to go. She is cleaning the house, and moving some things around so when they come home, the fact that she and Kinsey are gone is not so obvious. She is leaving some items of hers, that he will have to have some time to replace. When she moved in her washer and dryer were the better of the 2 so they kept hers, give his away....so, she left those...that kind of thing. I have to get my butt in gear, my kitchen looks like a tornado hit it! It isn't bad---just seems like I have everything spread out--bowls from Easter that don't get used often---chaos! Laura---please let us know what you find out, we are worried about you! BBL~~ Kat

Glad to hear all went well, I too am waiting to hear from BCBS on my TT.....things always move so slow when you are waiting!!! Look forward to hearing your good news and sharing my own!! Kat

Weight this morning 186.0...... Not that it matters much, nothing changes!! LOL Not weight wise anyway! Well, Manda is moving out today. She had the talk with Ryan last night, he was mad at first then, calmed down, and said he understood. She talked to Kinsey this morning, and she doesn't really understand, but she doesn't want to really leave Ryan. Then she talked to Lindzie, and she said she said a simple OK---but do I get to keep the things you bought me? LOL, kids! She told her of course, that she bought those things for HER they were hers now. Lindzie did get upset when she found out that Manda was taking her dogs....and Kinsey's playhouse in the yard, but she never said anything about Manda or Kinsey leaving. She told Ryan she took this week off to take care of Lindzie, and she will do that, she will take her and show her where she will be living, and let her know she will bring the dogs to see her sometimes if she wants.....he said he was going to try to get Thurs. & Fri. off, but if she would keep her til then it was ok. She said he did get indignant, that she chose to sleep in Kinsey's room. Not sure how I feel---relieved, kind of sad, kind of scared. Not sure of what.....I just want my kids happy. And I know at a point he made her Very happy---but no so anymore. I need to let it go, and let her live her life, but it is so hard! So we are supposed to eat sensibly---and be in competition, and all I can think of is eating right now----and that is soooo not me in the morning! But stress does it everytime! My cold is better in that I feel better, but I have no voice, I sound like I have half a dozen frogs in my throat. Laura---girl I am worried about you! I hope you are at the Dr. DO you think it could be related to the fact that you had not had a period in so long? Scary stuff, passing out, falling down is NOT ok! You should have at least tried waking DH up---my gosh, he is going to have to be trained!!! What if you had hit your head hard enough to be knocked unconcious??!! If you want a baby in your future, start working on the waking up issues now!!! LOL Seriously though, I hope you see a Dr. today. So sorry you were so sick and alone------as has been said, ANYTIME you can call. So it wakes someone up---we tell them it is ok, and they go back to sleep--no biggie! DH's work wakes me up all the damn time, it is my turn!!! LOL So I am going to try to eat sensibly----and Rick wants me to meet him for lunch at Applebees (right down from his work)----that should be fun!!! Terry, I say if you win, we all pitch in, and get you beading, metal supplies! My mind is running 100 mph----and I feel at a loss---to be honest, I want Kinsey! I want to sit her on my lap, and see her little face, and see that she is ok. I know with Manda off, and Lindzie out of school, doing that is not really an option---but I think that is what is my problem. Pamela--I have it so easy with Kinsey, if I were to be caring for my Grandson--I would be beyond goal weight by now, he would have me running every minute! But Kinsey is very mellow, she likes small quiet toys! Sounds silly---but it is true, they come in and go for opposite things. Connor comes in, hits the toy box running, and throws things out as he digs through it, til he gets to the cars with sirens, and the guitar, and the pull turtle that makes horrid noises (songs---but loud, and dogs barking to songs kind of noise). He throws tantrums when you try to get him to pick things up. We are working on that! Kinsey does not take things out of the toy box very often. She loves her doll house, with all the furniture, and people. She likes the little toys you get in Happy Meals etc. She will sit at the coffee table with a little arrangement of toys for an hour, playing and talking and singing. She likes certain shows on TV--ones she can interact with. He only will watch SpongeBob! She will take her bathtub Barbies in the water and swim and play til her lips are blue and the water cold. Connor will not sit in the tub---he is too busy! With him, you put him in the shower with you, and make a game of it! The differences are HUGE! I am not sure I have the energy to keep up with Connor all day everyday. I love him with all my heart, and he is getting more fun by the day. He just is NEVER still! He tumbled and turned somersaults in the back yard Easter day for an hour! He didn't hunt eggs, he found them and threw them like balls. I would have my work cut out for me with him! A couple of hours, and I am exhausted! Kinsey is an amazingly easy child. She eats anything, and minds well. She is 3, and has a mind of her own. But all in all, from years of day care operations, she is one of the mildest mannered children I have ever come across! Hope this change doesn't upset her too much. I have to be honest, I am relieved, not to worry about Lindzie hurting her.......is that mean? Well I am off to the shower so I can go meet Rick. I will see you all later. Hugs~ Kat

Me too Betty, me too.....I feel kinda crummy. Yesterday was the worst of it, Sunday with a crowd here, I knew it was coming on, but made it through a rough day----------long story, won't bore you! Then yesterday I had to take my Dad to Albq. for his follow up on his carotid surgery---and I felt terrible! Muscle aches---and I had to sit in one position driving for 7 hours!! LOL, anyway, today I feel better, but I have no voice---and when I push it, I sound horrid, like half a dozen frogs in my throat!! Diane--how did the biopsy go??? Let me know--------was thinking of you! Well today my DD is moving. She is leaving Ryan. She said she loves him, but lives in worry, in regards to his DD. Not only that next time she might do something that hurts Kinsey, but also that she is hurting the child, because with all that has gone on, she cannot love her unconditionally, and she thinks all kids deserve that. So while she is sad----she said she feels an enormous weight has been lifted as well. Hope she finds someway to be happy---that is really what I want for my kids---and to be honest, she tried a lot longer than I would have expected....can't say I would have. There have been problems for over a year now....so, today she is moving. As with most things it causes a ripple effect.....Ryan works with my son, so it is affecting them at work---he is giving my son the silent treatment. I think that influenced her decision to stay for so long as well.....I don't know girls. It is upsetting in general. I am meeting my DH for lunch--going to try to eat sensibly!! Could be interesting! On the other thread I chat on regularly, we are having a mini contest, to try to jump start some summer weight loss---so I guess I best at least try!!! I will check back in with you all later.....please send thoughts of happiness to my DD. Kat

Green--I just come home and read this news....please know my thoughts are with you. Speaking as another survivor-----keep your thoughts strong, and know we are all pulling, and praying for you. I also agree with TheGhost---and if the looks don't cut it-take him down with your keyboard (no, no, no---not up side the head!) I have seen you in action....Although a silent green would definitely be a sad day.... I will do my best to cut my garbage put out, to make up for your increase----and I too am glad that $$$$ is not affecting the quality of your care, too often it does here. Take care of yourself, and if ever you want to unload----type away....you know how the PM feature works I figure!!! Time for you to be the Lean, Mean, Green......get an attitude with the cancer----you CAN beat it! Kat

I'm home....count me in, and if by some strange happenstance, I should actually hear from insurance and get my surgery--I will disqualify myself. Was a good trip to Albq. Dad got great reports, was a follow up from his carotid surgery. He is good to go for 6 months.....but he has to go see his cardiologist sometime between now and then, but it isn't a biggie. Today----he walks in, we have to walk past Subway ( in the hospital) and he smells the bread, and expressed he would like to have that for lunch.....so I ate the tuna salad, with some veggies....didn't set well. Sitting without moving for too long,plus my cold, combined with me being tighter, stressing over DD.....it just sat there, anyway, that is all I had to eat today!!! I drank 2 cups of tea----about 40 ounces.....so it was not a health minded day for sure! So----just checking in, I will be back later....gonna go lay on the couch and whine for awhile!!! Kat I hav

My favorite pre band was to go to a little family owned Mexican restaurant here in town---and have a Chimichanga---usually a chicken Verde....with Pappa's (potatoes with green chile & cheese) and Beans. Of course as has been said, lots of chips and salsa, and often a maragarita, or 2! No earthly idea what the count is----the chimi being fried, is going to be outreageous on it's own! The thing is----it is still my favorite meal!!! Well it is the first time. The second helping in leftovers is ok, by the 3 eating, I am sick of it, and throw out what is left!!! More often than not, we now order a couple of tacos or a taco and an enchilada as a side, then we share a chimi---I eat about an inch and a half long piece of the chimi, and a taco----and I am done!!! Still love the place though!!! Would have honestly preferred it to Easter dinner today!! Mexican food goes down sooooo easy too!!! Kat

Hi girls! Well, I had a fairly nice day afterall--there were a few glitches courtesy of the inlaws---but in the end it turned out well. Manda showed up here early. Kinsey went to Sunday School and Church with my parents, so Manda come to help, she vacuumed, and did everything that was left to do with dinner!!! She is making plans....actually called her ex, and explained to him, that things were not great---told him what was going on, and ask if it come to it, could she drop Kinsey at any time, a moments notice. He told her Of course she could, and that if need be he had an extra bedroom since his roommate moved out, and she was welcome to it, so Kinsey would know she was ok. I tell ya I was shocked! He works with Rick, and he had been telling me that Jason had finally turned a corner and decided it was time to accept responsibility. Being the Mom, I still hold a grudge!! But he come to pick Kinsey up today---brave man I will admit---to come to our house in with all the people here, and face them---and she cried, she didn't want to leave.....so he let her stay. I honestly felt kinda sorry for him. His Dad lives in TX, and is aloof. His Mom lives in town--but works EVERY holiday---since the kids left home, and she is alone, she works so others can be with their kids---she is an OR nurse (with a drinking problem---scary!), His brother is in Boston, and a sister in ALbq. But he was alone, he just looked sad when he left....I wish he had stayed the same person he was when he was a boy----I loved him then, the man he grew into was a jerk though! Kinsey called me early to tell me the Easter Bunny come! She was beside herself with excitement! With Kinsey supposed to be leaving, and my inlaws needing to go to my SIL's as well, I told everyone between 12 and 1---ASAP following church. Well, dinner is done, we are waiting for my inlaws and my DIL and grandson, my son got called in to work. And we waited, and waited....finally DIL calls, Connor went to church with my inlaws, and wasn't back....and she had just finished making biscuits, and was going to get in the shower. I was livid!!! They should have been here an hour ago, and she is just getting in the shower? And inlaws are not even home yet??!! Rick stood up, ask my Dad to say grace, and we ate, without them! They showed up while we were finishing up. I tried being nice and told them to grab a plate, my MIL says they already ate, they stopped on the way in from church and had something to eat, so they wouldn't have to upset one of the kids by choosing to eat with the other....so they weren't going to eat at either place. I saw red, but held my tongue and told her there was sugar free cake, and sugar free cheesecake---they are both diabetic, so I made special dessert for them. She says real prissy "Oh no thanks". So I sat back down, and we were all visiting, and she asks Rick " Do you have anything diet to drink, I am so thirsty" He tells her, well I figured you refused everything else, I wouldn't even offer, but yeah I'll get it." She sat there then and refused to talk for awhile....but eventually perked back up. She told my son, that she was not taking any food, because she wasn't going to eat any food. Which is all fine and good, but she just told me she would.....woman is worrying me to be honest. They left, my folks left a little while later, all our kids were here, and we ended up out back throwing some horseshoes, and riding the 4 wheeler----just enjoyed the kids. Lindzie at one point told me Kinsey has a toy in her bag, and I didn't get one.....a common complaint. So I kneeled down, and told her---no you didn't get one, you got the other item, made for bigger kids. Kinsey still sometimes needs us to come wipe her bottom, do you want me to come wipe yours? She says no of course, and I told her you are 4 years older, and sometimes you get different things. So I thought---what the heck....so I told her, I heard what she said about wanting Kinsey to die, and I almost didn't give her anything because I was so mad at her, and if I ever heard her say or do anything mean to Kinsey again, I would never, EVER buy her anything again, not for birthdays or Christmas, or anything. She tried telling me she didn't, then telling me I really couldn't do that. So I reached in to the basket I give them, picked up a bunny slinky I gave her, and tossed it in the trash---I said I sure as hell can and will! She got wide eyed and kept looking over at the trash can ( we were having this conversation in the kitchen). I told her do not even think about taking it out---it is gone! And if you cannot behave lots more things are going to be gone! She was miraculously well behaved the rest of the day. I still believe Manda will be making a move soon. She is off all week on vacation. Originally I was to have both girls on Tues. & Wed. I told Manda---I was rethinking it! But in the end she took vacation. I have no idea what Ryan would do if she moved out----she takes care of Lindzie's schedule....lines up her daycare, makes sure she has clean clothes, and lunch money....everything! But I still believe he is going to have to figure it out---not sure I like the idea of her being at Jasons---but at the same time, not sure she should be alone either....kids, do you ever quit worrying???? My youngest DD's husband, the germaphobe---had my grandson helping him pitch horseshoes, he had Connor picking them up and handing them to him, he grossed out, digging them out of the dirt!! Hilarious! The day had highs, and not so much lows, as mads!!! But it ended wonderfully---all my kids together, laughing, and enjoying one another. Tomorrow morning I leave early to take Dad to Albq. for his appointment. He has a list of things he wants to do....LOL! Sort of blame Rick for that!!! Rick mentioned I wouldn't buy a couple of things I found at Bed, Bath & Beyond----so Mom says she wants to go there, I know they actually want to go so they can buy the items as a thanks for taking them, they are pretty easy to see through!!! Dad wants to go see the Body Expo thing too---so, I plan on hitting Macy's and shopping while they go----I saw it, think I will keep my $15 in my pocket this time! Although in all honesty I would probably get out cheaper seeing it again, than shopping!!! LOL So.....will see all you ladies tomorrow night! Oh and Haydee's eggs---someone ask what they do with them once they are filled with confetti----they get broke over someones head!!! Of course!! Great colorful fun! My grandson would have loved it--to him the eggs looked like balls and they all got thrown! Terry---love, love, love your jewelry, I agree, I love the silver! LOl---see ya tomorrow! Kat

Well finally heard from DD---all was not well. She was trying to find out what was going to happen---Lindzie was supposed to be in the bathroom with her Dad doing her nebulizer treatment, and he had left her there, and went to his bathroom---and she had Kinsey breathing her meds. It ends up that it isn't supposed to be too bad, but now Kinsey won't quit coughing----it has to be related. And when she got in trouble, she told Manda and her Dad she had hoped it would kill Kinsey. So Manda is beside herself---I look for my DD to move out soon. She has reached the end of the rope, and tied the knot----and is simply hanging on.....but she sat here tonight and cried. As much as she wants it to work, it isn't. Makes me sad for her....but I cannot honestly say I am sad over it in general. I am actually fearful with Kinsey being there. She said Ryan was mad at her for being upset by a kids anger, and he was mad at her, because when she called Jason (Kinsey's Dad) and told him she was coughing so much she wouldn't probably be going to his house tomorrow---he wanted to bring her her Easter Basket and stuff and Manda said ok. He was mad that he was coming to their house, and bringing stuff for Kinsey but not Lindzie---even though Lindzie's Mom buying for her is ok....I don't know. She said when Jason got there, Ryan was rude----and Jason had brought a stuffed bunny for Lindzie! Hope he changes his attitude before tomorrow---I might not be nice either!!! Oh it IS tomorrow! Manda and I have been talking for awhile! But now she has my mind going a hundred mph.... Pamela---your dinner sounds amazing, I would have been gawking like a tourist!!! Well---I really am going to go try to lay down and make myself sleepy. Happy Easter Violets! Kat