Kat817

I've had many a bad day!!! Bad weeks----had a few months that were questionable!! Seriously though--to be very honest, when I was going through the time you are now, I was very distracted, and cannot tell you how I managed on a day to day basis. I was banded the end of April---and a few weeks later, mid May, my DH was diagnosed with a bad heart valve and scheduled for open heart surgery. During the angiogram to check his arteries-so they could bypass at the same time if needed, he got a blood clot. We spent the next several weeks monitoring his blood, and hoping the heart valve would hang in there, until the clot resolved. By the time it did, 8 weeks had passed, and he was not in great shape. They did his valve surgery....and had to reduce the overall size of the heart---it has enlarged so in the weeks we had to wait. So we got him home from that, and I had been so busy caring, and worrying, I did not focus on my band so much. I had gone for a couple of fills, and was losing well....but the little nuances of difference I was too preoccupied to seriously notice. I probably would have skipped the fills to be honest, but my SIL and I were banded together, and she made the appointments, and drove us to them! When my DH come home from heart surgery, he had orders to walk--so together we began walking and exercising. I changed how I cooked seriously then----HIS health was involved. How ironic is it, that I could do it for him, but never for my own health?? He continued to be on blood thinners....due to the valve. 2 days before he was due to go back to work, the antibiotics he was taking had been making him nauseated. Well he ended up vomitting. They had not properly monitored his blood thinner (coumadin) levels, and he was way too thin. When he vomitted, he tore his esophagus loose on both sides from the stomach. The Dr. come out of the ER where they were working on him, and told me he would likely expire in the next 10-15 minutes, as he was bleeding so freely, they could not keep blood in him. Even the fresh units they were putting in, as it passed through the liver, the clotting agents were removed, as he had too much coumadin in his system. Through some experimental measures, awesome Dr. and surgeon, and lots and lots of prayers, he pulled through-----he spent over a week in ICU----and then several days on the medical floor before coming home again, and trying to regain his strength. When he finally did, then they realized, the clotting agents they gave him, had destroyed the internal work they had done on his heart, so it was back to more surgery for that. By the time we got all of this behind us----months and months had passed. I had managed to lose quite a bit of weight---I had some decent restriction from my 2 fills, but mostly my band has eliminated my hunger with those fills. So I would have to remind myself to eat. And as I say with his health I began cooking in better ways---less food being the biggie!!! We also walked together, and slowly built up to more exercise. I joined Curves when he come home----sounds pretty mean, but it got me out of the house, and somewhere I could seriously work off some tension. There is not a real gym in my small town, and I could not leave for long periods..... So overall, much of the early time, passed in a blur! I have plateaud, and not lost an ounce for a month at a time, but when I do that, the inches still drop. LBT was a true life saver-----I could log on, and vent! Get away from heart problems, and focus on ME and my band! I could feel a little selfish, without hurting anyone! I wish I had words of wisdom----and if I do, they would be, that when it gets hard, get busy--do something besides think about it! Get a hobby--hit the gym---something to occupy your mind. Take a walk when you want to snack....or open a bottle of Water, and drink it. Many times thirst presents itself as hunger. Good Luck--You CAN do this---I am proof positive!! Kat

TOM, Carlene, Telly, Penni, Leatha, wow, there are lots of them.....miss their words of wisdom!!! Kat

What about one of the monthly delivery things? My cousins send them to my folks every year. They chose fruit, and each month a small box of fruit---different things, get delivered. Is he where you can go see him ---or does it have to be sent? What is his living condition? Alone? In a home? Is he able to communicate at will? Like using a pre paid phone card, so he could call without it costing him? My former FIL was in a nursing home here, and although his son and I divorced, he was still my DD's Grandpa, and was an amazing man! We took 2 coffee cans, and covered them with wrapping paper to make them look pretty, and each time we went up to the home he was in, we took it---she learned to bake Cookies so we could take them to Papa Mac. We would drop off a can and bring the other home to have to fill for next time. In over 2 years that we did this only a couple of times was there something left in the can, and we went each week!!! I think he felt comfortable sharing the wealth since he knew we would bring more!!! He also loved pictures----both snapshots, and ones drawn by the kids. Mostly what he loved was the time we spent with him---so if that is an option, I would bet he would feel the same. If the choice is to order a basket, or go for a quick visit---I bet he would like seeing y'all more!! Kat

Fat cells retain estrogen, so when you lose suddenly, the estrogen is dumped into your body, and it does tend to alter cycles, and cause mood swings----rather like PMS! When the estrogen level changes, it causes every other hormone in your body to struggle to rebalance---so there is a lot going on. It should level out soon---but it often takes a few weeks. I was unable to take BCP's due to the estrogen being what triggered my migraines. So following a hysterectomy, I never had another migraine, until I was banded, and had several right after being banded. They have completely disappeared again, even though the weight is still going down. Hang in there, you might mention it to your Dr. But I would hesitate to change meds, when in all I have read on here, it does level out. Fertility also increases.....be aware of that!!! Kat

Sorry it was revealed without you wanting it to be-----I too have a MIL who loves to make negative comments to me. My SIL and I went to be banded together, so how she reacts to me with my band, is all dependent upon how my SIL is doing. One week the band is going to kill us both---and the next she is doing so much better than I am she wonders why mine is not so successful....it is a no win situation. I remind myself she is 80----and do my best to ignore her!!! One advantage is not having to remember who knows or what you can say to who.....I am not good at remembering those kind of things, so I just told everyone! Welcome to LBT---and around here, we let ya whine about whining, and be mad because someone is mad at you----it is all about support!!! Besides on one level or another, most of relate to some part of it!! Welcome!!! Kat

I get what you are saying Michelle--I think it is because in the beginning, we had no real plans of meeting up, so we had the feeling of anonymity, and felt we could be free with our emotions, and our thoughts, and if someone didn't share them--well that was ok! So, no one put on any "airs"--and we let the real us show through, through the excitement of quick weight loss, the sadness-and fear of plateaus.....and we began sharing lives----we rally in times of need, tease one another, and like Pamela above, crying for/with TracyKS----we bonded whether that was the plan or not!! The few I have talked to on the phone have been strange, yet exhillerating, to finally put a voice to the typed word! I cannot wait to be able to see the rolled eyes, and laughter----those kind of things! Jane---I DO know what you are saying too. I SOOOOOO wanted my TT done before the trip....but in the end opted for safety, and health over speed! I told Rick---who better to accept me, belly and all, than the girls I whine about it to on a daily basis!! I was trying on a shirt the other day and my arms looked even bigger in it, and I thought OMG I have a lot further to go than I had hoped.....but it'll happen, and in the meantime, I am pretty doggone happy with what I have done!!!! When I think of all of us, I do not think in terms of size....ever! Not sure why---because to be honest, there are others on the board, both large and small, that I "picture" in my mind when their posts show up-------maybe because I don't KNOW them, so the only thing I have is pictures they have shown. With you guys--it is not a size picture in my head though. I had a wierd phone call from my DH's secretary----she was trying to be sneaky, but she is not very good at it. Now I may be all wrong---but she was talking about my losing weight, and Rick told her we spent an hour looking for my wedding ring in the back yard---I was pushing Connor on the swing, and it went flying! We found it, but it was scary!!! Anyway----she was asking me what size I wore now! So either she is going to try to sell me some....or Rick is behind it. He tried to talk me into going to buy something inexpensive this weekend, I refused. I want to wait and get mine sized........and like I told him, these are going to be perfect for my trip and surgery, because I will be swelling--I always do when I go to TX!!! And following surgery I will be too----so lets wait. Beginning to wonder if he is ignoring me!!! But we have nothing special coming up---except Mother's Day----that just dawned on me.....yep I betcha he is ignoring me!!! Chana (sounds like Shawna) does not call often---she does, and when I go in to the office, she chats like that all the time, but the timing of the call, made my alerts go off!!! Well I should get up from here and get some things done. Talk Soon! Kat

I was just thinking this morning, I need to call Lori--my stylist---then realized it is Monday, will have to do it tomorrow!!! I have a fairly new purse, I bought in JCPenney's ---but it is really small. For traveling I would like it to be bigger, to hold my book for the flight, etc. So I may dig into the depths of the closet and find one to carry for the flight. I have a small, not much bigger than a wallet, thing----that has a credit card holder, and a change purse type of thing in it. It has the super long strap, so you can throw it on crossed over your shoulder, and have your hands free. I like to use it when we do flea markets, or the zoo----it is probably not real fashionable, but it is super lightweight, keeps what I need and nothing else---and leaves my hands free. I have it laying on the bed---so I can put it in the suitcase!! I still need to buy a waterproof camera, and get all my memory cards, and chargers together to put in the camera case---so I can take LOTS of pictures!!!! My small digital camera will fit in my mine purse---or a pocket, so I am bringing it, leaving the big camera at home. But will likely bring the camcorder----not sure. And the excitement builds!!!! Kat

The girl I spoke with at the insurance company was the one who told me to call every other day. She said once it goes to determination of qualification--that each time someone checks on it, it brings it up to the top of the que again..... In the end, it went fast---getting it there was what took forever! She suggested that to me on Monday, and it was approved that week! Call Away!!!! Be pleasant--but call. The first time I called, I had a legitimate question for them....I had ended up with another tear, and did not know if I needed to go in for documentation, and if so who I should see, my primary or the PS. She noted it, and said for the time being see who I usually saw, which was my PCP, and then as we talked, she is the one who told me to call back on Wed. then again on Fri. EACH week. Because they are instructed to tell you that once it is received it could be 3-5 weeks before determination is made. It took less than 3 days!!! At least less than 3 days from my phone call--it may have taken the 3-5 weeks if it had not been pulled from the depths..... CALL!!! Kat

Jane try Walmart.com they have a site to store in most locations now, you order it online, and it is delivered to the store closest to you---maybe they have the shoes you want. And it is my understanding if there is a problem, such as fit, items can be returned to the local store---as opposed to being shipped back. Might be worth a try! Kat

My first 2 pics only showed up if I opened the link, but the 3rd one was right there---go figure!!! I cannot believe how tiny they are! Becky and I went to the pound once and picked out a dog for her boys. We got Happy. He was a mutt----and he was aptly named. He smiled, and he wiggled his entire body, he did not wag his tail, he wagged from head to tail! Such a good dog! He was sturdy built, able to handle roughhousing with two boys. He chased the flashlight beam....like a cat will a laser pointer---Happy chased the flashlight beam, and loved it. He fetched, and if he brought it back and dropped it on the left all you had to do was tell him "no I want it over here", and point and he would move it! He used to play with the neighbors dog all day long. One day he happened to get out with the neighbors dog---and they went down the road, and found a new game----chase the chickens. Unfortunately, his way of catching them was to chase and pounce---which was killing the chickens. Becky and Gary live in the county---outside of city limits. Since he was caught killing livestock, he was automatically put down. The owner of the chickens even tried to stand up for him----he did not have a drop of blood on him, he was not eating the chickens, just playing....but the animal control officer, loaded him up and it was over. The boys were devastated---it was horrible. Happy died, because he was playing with chickens. Maybe Klaus was just doing something similar---asserting his ownership of the carport.....but not intentionally being mean! As has been said, if he wanted to kill it, it seems it would have been obvious! Well, I am off to bed, I have a loooooong week ahead. Will talk to you girls tomorrow..... Kat

I used to have a tshirt (Becky bought it for me, as an inside "joke" about Rick's ex!) It said.... Roses Are Red... Violets Are Blue... I am Schizophrenic.... And So Am I.... No I'm not, Yes you are. No I'm not, Yes I am... And the arguing text swirled down the side and onto the tail in the back. I never wore it, I did not want to make fun, afraid it would hurt the kids. Well a couple of yard sales ago, it was in a box, and Abbey saw it, she begged to have it! It is her Mother! She loves the shirt. Cracks me up. She sleeps in it! My Mom brought me home a shirt from town today---I keep telling her to wait! For one thing our taste is not always the same. She wants me to dress like she does, and I am not ready! LOL This one is not bad---pretty actually! I might even bring it with me! I am so ready for this trip! I am rethinking what to wear tubing. I was going to do my swim suit top at least, and maybe some cut offs. But think I will make sure my top is well covered. I do not want sunburned to where the compression garment or my bra might hurt----so gonna think about maybe my swimsuit cover up and some shorts---that way even if I burn, my bra would not be uncomfortable---know what I mean??? Can you tell I am totally overthinking the surgery thing??? LOL Kat

Eileen, please know my heart is with you as you make the decision with your doggy child. I have been there, and know it to be a heart wrenching, soul baring choice. It has been several years now since Chelsea was put down, but I miss her still. I gave my DD a dog brush this weekend, when we cleaned out for our yard sale, and it still had Chelsea hair in it---reduced me to tears----I told them I was saving it for the DNA factor, so when they made enough advances, I could have her cloned. They all laughed, I didn't. I loved her so much, and I still miss her, so I do understand how badly you are hurting. You will have to be the strong one for the family---but when you need to cry and vent---we are here. (((((hugs)))))) Kat

Would it help to write it out and tell us what all has been going on---we are never too busy to listen and support a sister Violet going through hard times-----heaven knows you guys are always there for me. If you want to talk about it, we are here, if not I will respect your privacy----but sometimes it helps to get it all out. We want to help if we can.... I think we need to find a park, with teeter totters!!! DH and I were talking about that---now that we are so close in weight!! How I used to love them!!!! Kat

I used to take my huge suitcase to see Manda when she lived in Hawaii--and only pack enough to fill less than half of it, and bring it home FULL!!! LOL I am planning extra space in mine for this trip too!!! Kat

Suzanne----girl you never cease to amaze me! You have so much going on, yet you find time and energy to take neighborhood kids to the park! You are very special!!! I so wish you were going to TX with us. I know your plate is heaping and overflowing right now-----and flying is an issue....but I really wish you could be there!!! Jane, Tracy gets a + because she is on your friends list.....I am lazy and have not sent invites out!!! LOL It is beautiful here, although a chill in the air. Rick and our son and Gary went riding, I thought about hitting the barn, and chose instead to just stay home, and try to get our house back in order, and ready for the week ahead. Kinsey is back tomorrow, and will be here late, Manda has a training program, if she can handle it---it will require sitting, and she is having problems sitting....so who knows! Then Tuesday she goes to Albq. to the cardio. Hoping to get some answers. Anyway, it is looking like a busy week, so I wanted to get laundry done etc. With the yard sale nothing got done, just messed up over the last couple of days! It is all back to order now, just finishing up laundry, and prepping to grill some chicken. Will check in later, off to fold some sheets.....will the fun never end???? Kat

Julie I tried to heed what you said about unfilling too early. I am scheduled for a total unfill on the 13th, I leave for TX on our trip on the 16th-and will be with all bandsters so hopefully they can help keep me in control! Then I return on the 19th for surgery on the 20th. I have a question for you! Did you have to do the drink thing to clean out your system before surgery? Or was it simply nothing after midnight? I have been told both---------and forgot to ask. I will ask him the 12th when I see him the last time before surgery!! I am sooooo hoping for pretty results---but it all has to be better than where I am!! You recovering so quickly has made me feel so much more relaxed! I have surgery on the 20th, and DH has to go to Denver on the 23rd. My DD, my Mom, and my best friend have all offered to come and stay, so I will let them decide who comes when among themselves, heck we may all end up here!!! He is freaking out over it, but it cannot be helped so....we go with it, he will be home the evening of the 24th or the 25th, depending on how things go. Anyway, seeing you up and posting, and saying you are ok, has helped immensley!!! Continued good healing. I cannot imagine where Steph is now, excitement would be all consuming!! I have over 3 weeks, and can hardly contain myself!!! Kat

Me too!!! That is why my DH gives me such a hard time about always packing so many "jammies". I change after dinner, and lounge around in them, then strip for bed--then put them on the next morning, hang out in them until I dress, and then they go in the hamper....and that evening I get fresh ones.....what is the big deal? I do the laundry! Yes I will have to pack more....but it isn't hurting him or anyone else!!! LOL You are all going to find this hard to believe, but Rick is headed out for a motorcycle ride, and I do not want to go!!! I want to make my house MINE again, it was thrashed with all the chaos of this weekend.....so I am staying home--feels wierd!!! He, Gary and our son are going---Becky is staying home too--I had to laugh! I am not buying new things for the trip----as badly as I want to. I am saving that $$$ to buy after the TT. So I have the suitcase on the bed in the extra bedroom, but nothing in it yet! Kat

Terry---your jewerly is beautiful, I love the design on the birds wing.....you do wonderful work! Pamela---rather than the vets, try going to a feed store for some fly repellant, and if you cannot get it FOR him----try fly traps around him. We use spray, and also powder for the cows. This sounds so gross--but when they get to the ear, like they are now, the ear tissue itself allows the powder to adhere.... Ya know he may be a hummingbird killer, but you DO have to treat him humanely anyway!!! (j/k) We have a tube----you can buy themin different sizes, we use across the fence gate between the field and the barn--it is filled with fly powder, you hang it low, so they bump it, and self medicate as they walk under it to get back and forth. Might look and see if you could do something similar with fly powder in a tube sock or something across the door of his dog house, then his ear would receive a bit each time he went back and forth..... I have stuffed jalapenos cooking, and they smell sooooo good!!!! I better go check them. BBL~~ Kat

Wonderful Job Tracy!!!! I just love it when my little chicks are so successful!!! It has been a great year---you have worked hard, and totally deserve the rewards being offered to you, and you will represent the band so well! Job well done my friend! Kat

Becky-they refer to it as a mons lift, they are going to do some mild lipo, and lift the skin to make it taut again. He said mine should be pretty easy, as there is not an issue with a pubic hairline----I guess it was a side benefit of chemo that someone besides DH gets to appreciate---sorry TMI I know, but it made me laugh!!! Steph you already look great, you are going to be one of the TT poster children!!! Mine is ungodly, and MUCH MUCH MUCH worse!!!! I am in a size 14 easy--will likely make a 10 when it is said and done, because they fit, they just won't button around the middle. Not sure I could ever post it---but will take them, then decide!! If I looked like you, I could do it without issue, unfortunately I do not!!! Well, I have things started to cook out, guess I better get busy--see you girls tomorrow! Kat

Glad you are back, and that your trip was so wonderful Betty--missed you! Sherry--is the reflux improving at all? I loved seeing your post, I miss them!! Manda is the same today, which in itself is a relief, it almost seems like everytime she goes to bed something new crops up--but she is hanging in there. Poor thing looks so miserable, so swollen. I am anxious to get my TT done, I feel like it will make a difference in my life. Improving the things I can do---the flapping sagging skin and fat impede movement now in things like riding a bike....but also in a mental way. Now in public, I am constantly pulling at my shirts to make sure the big ol' belly is covered. I stand strategically behind things....it is always on my mind. When I was big all over, it was big too so not noticable in a stand out way. Now it is deforming looking-------and if you think I am exagerating it--ask my MIL--she was the one who put the words in my mouth!!! She does so much for my emotional state!! LOL Today we will eat a late lunch/early dinner. Rick went in so some of the guys who are in the middle of projects needed for the work week could finish up, so he is not due home for another half an hour or so....so we will eat about 3:30.....I plan on letting him grill chicken!!! BBQ it, I have a large left over baked potato, I am going to dice it, and cook it, have some baked Beans, and some stuffed jalapenos. Not a very creative meal, but I am using up some things left over in the fridge, I am seriously trying to cut down on the amount of food we waste. It is pretty pathetic! I need to learn to cook less, and do this and use what is left over.....I could have grilled the chicken and given his stuffed jalapenos and forgot the rest and Rick would have been happy!!! Men! Well, I better get busy----I had plumbing problems all morning, of course while Rick was at work, so I liquid Plumbered it, and need to go pour some boiling Water down the sink--see if it worked! Wish me luck! Talk to ya later! Kat

Got my fingers crossed for ya------should explain my inability to type! Kat

Things here, continue to be an unfolding drama, with no answers, and questions out the yin yang! Manda now has lymph glands throughout her body swollen---visibly swollen. She hurts to put her arms down, from the ones under her arm, the ones in her groin limit the ways in which she can sit. But the Dr. insists it is strep throat, even though the glands in her neck are several times the normal size, her throat does not hurt! Dr. just seems to dismiss it. Due to the swelling, she lost feeling in her arms....some prednisone, and she can feel her arms again, but it is not a cure! It is not a diagnosis. She sees the cardio Dr.'s on Tuesday---hoping they can shed some light. Right now, most seem to be leaning towards this all being a flare of rheumatoid arthritis....she has actually been referred to a rheumatologist---that is where her new blood work up will go. If we knew what it was, we could deal with it. She spent all those hours in ER the other morning, and they told her her white count was slightly elevated----nothing more. Then yesterday she got a call from the hospital, that her Iron and B12 was EXTREMELY low----but yet no one mentioned it nor do they have a suggestion, only mention it to your Dr! She is hurting, and scared, and getting angry that no one wants to take her seriously. I mean you might be able to say my joints hurt, and no one can see them. But these lymph glands are very visible----but they still seem to act like it is not worrisome. Anyway....hoping for some help on Tuesday. I helped a friend and we had a yard sale the last couple of days. Made a few hundred bucks, and cleaned out some closets, and cupboards......but wore me out, so I am heading off to bed. Will check in with everyone tomorrow. No one has failed. There are times we become complacent, but I believe that is normal---we have lives that extend beyond this weight loss endeavor---and there are times those things need our attention, and we need our focus to be on something else. You have the ability to get back on the horse....and you will, of that I have no doubt. Try not to take each day so serious----it is not a race, and ruining today thinking about it, and stressing over it---does nothing but make you ruin a good day. I always say, I really DO want to get to a point of being thin, but I am NOT willing to give up today, hoping to be there tomorrow. Tomorrow is not a given....so dieting like mad and making goal is fine for some people----but the way MY luck runs, the day I hit goal, I would also get hit by a truck or something, and not only would I have ruined the goal day, but every day before it for 6 months as I made myself miserable denying myself food, and forcing myself to exercise more than I tend to do!!! We will get there.....and get to spend time with supportive, loving souls here on the way!!! Kat

I'm the same way Steph---I have no hourglass.... My PS said much of the pain from a TT is the liposuction, and how it is done in so many areas usually. But in my case he said there will be very little, just some of the pubic mound, and the upper stomach. None on the sides, or back, the usual love handles....I have none!!! I have nothing left to lose on the back, or love handles, or hips. He said in fact the incision may pucker a bit at each end, because my hip bones, are just bone covered in skin. But he said in a year we could fix that in the office. I thought to myself---after living for years with this hanging belly, do you really think I would care about some mild puckering on a scar???? I have always, even back in the day when I was thin, been top heavy, and no hips---very slim---not curvy on the bottom half. So I figure, I have to be ok, I never had perfection, so don't expect it now!!! Although I will say, I never truly appreciated how good I looked back then, I fret over the boyish hips, and everything, and to look back now, I looked good!!! LOL You will be fine---it is almost here, I know I only have like 20 some days left!!! YAY!!! Kat

Sign me up for the picture class--but we might need a dunce cap, I am a dunce sometimes!!! My DD was giving me a hard time today, about what all I planned to pack, because I take so many jammies. They always razz me about that, because I like to change them as I change my clothes----each day. Long time harassment----wonder who raised such smart aleck kids???? Must get it from Rick! Kat