Bugg

Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’m going to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated! Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.

Thank you so much for responding, everything you said made me feel validated in my fear and comforted as well. I actually do love cooked vegetables and meat cooked in other ways besides fried. I like a variety of foods in fact. I guess I just see people posting such healthy looking meals that don’t look appealing to me and I’m just like “do I have to eat that?” Like I’m not a fan of raw vegetables and cottage cheese, for instance. I haven’t seen anyone post something that I like which makes me think that what I like to eat are things I won’t be able to eat. I’m not too concerned about not being able to eat junk food at all because I’m not really a junk food eater more than I am a comfort food eater. I just love a good meal and I just don’t see anyone posting good food. Food is a concern bc it’s important, but my biggest concern besides food is being able to get out of my head and an even bigger concern is the things that can go wrong! Being dehydrated, vitamin deficiency, extreme constipation, hernias, gallbladder removal, GERD, having to convert to bypass, being hospitalized for something. Like is there anyone who has not had a complication? Even people who don’t regret the decision seem to have so many scary issues. I’m so afraid of what could go wrong. I’m afraid of being sad about food the rest of my life. I’m sad now about the control food has over me. I feel trapped. I hate that I have to be fat and even go through all of this. I hate I’m on a forum complaining about being fat. Lol. I just need someone to tell me to do it and that it will be ok and worth it! I guess I just keep imagining I’m going to be sitting here physically feeling a cut off stomach, if that makes sense. Lol. Like, I know I won’t be able to eat a lot anymore, I know I’ll need to make the better choices with food which is fine, but I just don’t want my life to revolve around food anymore! I don’t want to sit around everyday worried about food. It seems like I have to go from thinking about what I’m going to eat everyday to worried about if I’m going to be able to eat enough or eat too much or get dehydrated or get enough protein or something with food! I’m just sick of food! Lol.. Will my life ever not be about food and weight?!! If the sleeve makes me go from worrying about weight to worrying about weight on top of a bunch of other stuff, is it going to be right for me? Am I trading one woe for another? I hope that makes sense.