smokymtnchik

I had surgery on Jan 19 of this year. I've only lost 22 lbs. I now hate this thing inside of me. It has only prove that I am a failure at weight loss. I've had one lap band refill since surgery and it was like nothing happened. What is wrong with me???? I have actually again 2 lbs!! I'm a sick person if they had to go in, implant a devise to keep me from eating and that didn't help! I'm so frustrated and angry at myself. I'm embarrassed at my failing at this.. I hate facing people. I dont' want to go back and face the nutritionist at my Surgeons.. I have to go back June 10 and I dread it so much. I am also suppose to have a fill on June 10 but I don't they will do it.. since I haven't lost any. I succeed at everything in my life, that I put my mind to.. I can do anything I put my mind to.. I cannot, however, lose weight. I saw a counselor for 4 months before my surgery, I thought that would better prepare me. I need advise.. Please. Dana

I do have a printer. However, actually getting them to him would be impossible. They have a yahoo group for all the patients. I posted on it yesterday hoping for answers.. the office manager (who was rude to me today) manages the group. Needless to say, my post didn't make it to the group.

I am just so disapointed in my surgeon's practice. What bothers me the most is how I've treated myself over the past couple of months, especially lately. I put mself in a state of pure depression thinking that I failed and was doomed to be fat the rest of my life. In that state of giving up and seeing no hope I ate whatever I wanted and quit exercising daily. Now instead of being mad at myself I'm angry with my surgeon. How dare he tell me that "this is a tool" to help you lose weight. Tools are meant to be maintained. Now I know without the maintenance it does me no good. I wish I could print out these post and give them to my surgeon. I'm off to heal my self inflictted mental wounds. LOL

I called my surgeon's office today to request a fill this week. He is again out of town this week. They can get me in next week. The office manager was very rude to me. She automatically went on defense mode when I told her I kept getting rescheduled. I made the appointment for next week but I have a call in to another weight loss center in the area to see if they will take me as a patient. If so, I'll then call my insurance company to get the okay. I feel like I've been abondoned by my Surgeon. Thanks for all the advise everyone. Dana

OMG! Thank you all so much! I am calling tomorrow and demanding a fill. I live in East Tn. Dr. Boyce is my surgeon. He doesn't put any saline in at time of surgery and then does one fill at one month out.. then every two months. So I should be approaching my 3rd fill, not my second! I do have HMOs and if I can't get in to get a fill I'll call my insurance. I'm like some of you.. I just cant' bring myself to journal. I'm so busy of the day and usually eat my lunch at my desk and get right back to work. Thanks to the food advise.. I'm boiling eggs now. I'll stop in the morning to buy bite size cheese and I've already got cottage cheese. You all are wonderful. I'll let you know what my surgeon's office said.

Thank you all for your encouraging words. My first fill was Marcy 20th.. it was supppose to have been exactly one month after my surgery but the surgeon went out of town. My 2nd fill was suppose to be around the first of May but the surgeon's office once again called to reschedule because he has to be out of town. I wrote my email late last night after I couldn't sleep from all the crying at my pity party. My mistakes: I am not using a support group like this forum. I am not following a specific diet - I just tried to cut back. I do not food journal, which I understand helps so much. Thank you for your encouraging words. I plan on printing these so that I can read them when I'm having another pity party. I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday.