BethFromVA

Sorry, y'all, it's the most laughing I've done in some time.

And: Original ad: litter of 6 kittens up for adoption! they are all 3 weeks old and are looking for a good home. contact if interested. From Mike Hunt to *********@***********.org Hi, I am interested in taking all six kittens off of your hands. How much do you want for them? Mike From Shannon ******* to Me Mike, Are you going to take care of all of these kittens? I want to make sure they all find a good home, and was expecting to sell them one at a time. Are you able to house all six of them? From Mike Hunt to Shannon ******* Shannon, To be honest, I own a pet Bengal Tiger and he is on a strict diet of cats. I usually feed him one cat every couple of days, so this litter should hold him over for a while. Don't worry though, I'll take good care of the kittens until I feed them to him. Mike From Shannon ******* to Me That is horrible! You will not get a single kitten from me. I really hope you are not serious. From Mike Hunt to Shannon ******* Shannon, I was kidding. I seriously need all six kittens though. Disregard anything I said about a tiger. From Shannon ******* to Me NO.

He does good on the car ones. Here's another: Original ad: i am 17 years old and looking to buy my first car! if you have a good, cheap and reliable car for a student please let me know. thank you! From Mike Anderson to ***********@*******.org Hey there! I saw your ad and have a great car for a young driver such as yourself. I am selling my beautiful 1992 Toyota Camry. This car is almost perfect. 148,342 miles on it. I need to go to Wawa tomorrow, so that mileage might change. I'm estimating it will be somewhere around 148,347 miles. If this is a problem, let me know and I will ride my bike to Wawa. The car has a few MINOR problems but nothing too bad: - The ashtray is stuck shut from when I accidentally spilled a beer on it. I think there is like $2 in change in there, so if you can open the ashtray, it's all yours. - Due to a bad trip in Philly, I no longer have a radio. I run an old boom box through the cigarette lighter, however, and it sounds great. It is a 1986 Sony Cassette player. I'll throw in a Raffi cassette tape for an extra $10. The tape is Raffi in Concert with the Rise & Shine Band, and is an excellent album. - The glovebox is locked and I lost the key to it, so it won't open. Unfortunately there was a tuna sandwich locked in there, and you can smell it in the car. It isn't that bad if you light some incense. I dropped a few sticks of incense between the seats, you can have them if you find em. - The hood latch is broken and the hood will occasionally fly up and hit the windshield while driving. The windshield is currently cracked from the last time this happened, but the crack isn't that bad. In fact, it helps air out the stench of the tuna. - Needs new front and rear brakes. The ones on there don't really stop, but if you give the emergency brake a good tug it should take care of everything. - There is a hornets nest somewhere under the hood. I have no idea where. Occasionally a hornet will blow in through the air conditioning vent, but I will include a fly swatter above the visor. - There is some blood on the passenger seat and all over the side of the door. If you are ever pulled over and the police ask about it, just tell them the previous owner hit a deer. Don't say who I am though. - I bought the car from someone who replaced the original horn with a freight train horn. It is really loud and I don't recommend using it, I have caused several accidents with it. Besides these problems, this is a great starter car for any young driver! I actually call it the "ladies mobile" because the chicks dig it. I am asking $6000 for it, but am willing to negotiate. Thanks, Mike From joey ******* to Me hey thanks for the offer! $6000 sounds like a little much for that car. my dad only gave me a $4000 budget, would you be willing to take that? From Mike Anderson to joey ******** Son, you obviously have no experience in buying vehicles. When I said I was willing to negotiate, I meant I was willing to take more money for the car if you wanted to give it to me. Minimum is $6,000. Talk to your dad, and he will tell you that this car is a once-in-a-lifetime deal. He'll be pissed if he saw that you passed this up. Mike From joey ******* to Me What the hell is wrong with you? That car is a piece of s***! Stop e-mailing my son, you moron.

Okay, I was laughing my ever lovin' butt off at the site I posted earlier. Obviously this guy finds ads on places like Craigslist and jacks them around. Some of it is freakin' hilarious! This one had me laughing until I was crying: Original ad: **********HEY YOU THERE*************-$1500 HELLO I AM LOOKING FOR A FORD EXPLORER!I NEED A TRUCK SO IF YOU ARE SELLING YOURS AND IT HAS NO PROBLEMS WHAT SO EVER THEN LET ME KNOW. I'M A SINGLE MOTHER OF 3 BEAUTIFUL GIRLS AND WE NEED A WAY TO GET AROUND WHERE NO BODY WILL BE ALL CRAMPED UP AND A EXPLORER WILL DO US JUST FINE. I'M LOOKING TO BUY AROUND THE END OF OCTOBER IF YOU HAVE ONE THAT YOU WANT TO SELL THEN GET AT ME A.S.AP. (the ad also had a picture of her posing for the camera, like that is necessary for an "auto wanted" ad) Me to SHANIQUA *********** Hey there! I saw your ad and I think I have the perfect car for you. I am selling my 2001 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer edition. It is a great car and I hate to see it go, but I need the money to pay off my 2nd DUI fines. Only 72,000 miles! Here are the features: - CD Player - Intact windshield - Rear tires - Spare tire - New windshield wipers - Beautiful white exterior paint - Cloth interior It was in a very MINOR fender bender, however, and will need a few repairs. As you can see from the picture, you may need to replace the passenger-side mirror and headlights in order for the car to pass PA inspection. I took it to a mechanic, and he said that the mirror is fixable. I was selling the car for $1800, but due to these minor issues, I will drop the price to $1750. Thanks, Ryan Jackson Attachment: SHANIQUA *********** to Me Hi I'm sorry I can't afford to buy your truckit looks really nice and I would love to be behind the wheel of it but I can't afford it.My budget will only allow for me to spend 1500 sorry (she obviously didn't realize there was a picture) Me to SHANIQUA *********** tell you what, I'll bump the price down to 1500, but I get to keep the CD player and the passenger seat. and I will clear all of the change out of my ashtray. this car is a great deal. I've included a picture, check it out and please reconsider! SHANIQUA *********** to Me WHY WOULD I BUT A PIECE OF JUNK WHY FOR WHAT YOU BETTA BET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Erm... I'm verrrrry dirty. Disgustingly so. And so is my body.

Hey hey HEY!! Nobody said they have to be gentle.

I want one too. From KC's hottie neighbor boys. Both of 'em. I'm still a big girl.

Note to self: Do NOT choose a movie on Thursday night and expect it to be showing at the same times on Friday! :crying: Went all the way to the movie theater to see Orphan (last night showed a 2pm showing) and the first one they have TODAY is 4:20. BUGGER!! So... I hadda go buy mojitos instead. :frown:

Omg, buy her a mojito from me. Guys are THE biggest wussies when they've got a COLD. I can't even imagine dealing with one in the hospital. :crying: I'd be like, "Good thing there are nurses and doctors around so when I try to kill you, you might have a chance."

Ahhh, gotcha. Omg, I KNOW!! What's with THAT?? Never saw a townhouse in my life until I moved here, but when I visited last week, we drove past an area where they've built some! Used to be apartments or houses -- not even really condos, except maybe in town. Guess maybe Houston is going the way of so many others and starting to scrimp on the land? That was the one thing Houston has/had plenty of was land. Well, then parking lots and strip centers... :crying: I can't believe how many strip centers have died yet they have all those new ones waiting to fill up. Good ol' Houston. Gotta keep them illegals working, yanno... :frown:

PJTP: ColoradoChick sent this to me as her "new favorite site." I don't know how she finds this stuff, but there's some good reading here! It appears this guy responds to ads posted online (Craigslist?) in a rather Borat-ish way. Some of them are laugh-out-loud funny. I haven't gone through a ton of them yet, but it's VERY entertaining! Warning: There are some "F" bombs and other colorful words in them, so read at your own risk. E-mails from an Asshole

I wish Ebony lived nearby. We could have so much fun "wogging"!! :crying:

I'd like to say it's better than it sounds, but these days I find that things I USED to like are kinda ick for me now. It's funny how I will eat something now that I haven't had since before banding, and I'll say to somebody, "Omg, WHY did I like this??" So yeah, I probably wouldn't like it as much as I used to when I was the human garbage disposal.

I just could never get used to the heat. Lived there most of my life (27 years) and it never got any easier. And the HUMIDITY! Don't even get me started. :crying: I'm guessing when you were here the cost of homes wasn't so bad...? When we moved here, it was freakin' insane. I can't believe what nearly a half-million WON'T buy you here compared to Houston. In Houston, if we paid there what we paid HERE, we'd be living in a McMansion. A NEW, BIG, NICE McMansion. Here we got 2200 square feet with a yard that extends less than 20 feet in any direction. We went from a mortgage of less than $1,000 in Houston to a mortgage of $2900 here (including escrow on both). Certainly I feel you get more bang for your buck in Texas (Houston for sure) than you do many other places.

I found out the day I got back from Houston that I can't do pancakes. Had hubby take me to IHOP (wanted some eggs, sausage, and harvest grain and nut) and totally pb'ed on the cakes. :crying:

Well, the only way I figured out ONE person who changed was her icon/photo. There was that Donna person who was in one (or both) of the PnkPottymouth threads that you and I were reading/responding in, and I see that she (Donna) is now "FailureIsNotAnOption" or some such thing. Granted, she has about the same number of posts as I remember her Donna moniker having, so I don't know if she has a second moniker or simply changed the name of her first one. I noticed she changed it because I remember the picture of her, which is her icon.

I DO love the Hill Country. I knew I was screwed when I said I didn't miss Texas. In reality, I don't miss Houston. I know Texas has a little bit of everything there and has some really fantastic places. I can't take the insane heat, the humidity (Houston probably more than many other areas), and flatness (again, Houston probably more than many other areas). The cost of living is great, but the job pay is not, so it all evens out. Then again, if anything happened here (marriage, whatever), I have nothing to really keep me here except that I love it.

I'm guessing it's just the unknown. But as I read this, I'm thinking to myself how I worked a full-time job, took two VERY HEAVY writing classes (English 302 and BIS 300) where anywhere from 10-20 pages was due each week, and I not only succeeded, I made the dean's list with a 3.85. So... maybe it was my inner voice trying to assure me that, though it will be a heavy load, I will be able to do it. Congrats on doing it yourself! The nice thing about the university I'm attending is that when I was there in January '08, I was by far the oldest student in my class. In college, they're ALL 18-20 years old and annoying as hell. At university, it's a mix. And I think especially when you take night classes, it's almost exclusively adults.

HAHAHA, too funny! As I was reading this in its original form, the sentence was broken up between "on" and "duty" -- "I would be on..." And I'm thinking you were gonna say "that like a duck on a junebug," or, "[on] that like white on rice." :crying::frown:

Shoot, I'd be ripping my own plumbing out from the ground up to get those guys to come over! :crying:

A woman after my own heart! :crying:

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! :crying::frown: And the guys think they have a corner market on perving. Pfffftttt!!

I wonder how much it has to do with her reacting to your surgery, or you being more in tune with how consumed y'all both were with food, especially now that you can't make it the center of your life.

Wow, really? When I did the Cosmo Bachelor thing for 2005, for your city it gave a name. Not him? :laugh:

Erm, did you know he has his own website with modeling pics on it?????