BethFromVA

Oh, YOU TRAMP! Okay, he's like hardened clay after it's been fired in the kiln.

Band in the va-jay-jay. He's like putty in my hand.

Sorry, HH, but I've been LMAO at this one! VERY GOOD! :biggrin: As for the drinking... and hot tubbing... and construction workers, how many hours a day do you think I play Dear Abby anyway?

Which begs the question, Monkey -- are we boring you here or something? You're so freakin' fickle.

Omg, I just saw!! :biggrin: Thank God, another one that makes me look good. And sexual favors? You mean he probably won't take this bribery mon-- er, thank you card I have for him?

That was my thought exactly. You'll do great!

SEE? I only bitch-slap and run (learned it from plain). But SHE BITES.

Well, I only said that cuz you asked if it could hurt your marriage. If you give it to yourself, Aquaman costume or your Little Bo Peep (preferred) costume, no problem. Now... if you are giving it to that cute cable guy again, yeah, could cause problems with the li'l woman.

SCORE! Only took 55 pages and 820 posts...

Wasa skeers me. Makes me look all soft'n fluffy. I should post more where she does so people will notice my niceness more. I'm really not a bitch. No, really. SHUDDUP, I AM NOT. F*ckers.

That subtle, eh? I need to get laid more often. No reason. Just thought I'd put that in there. Depends on who you're administering the enema to... :biggrin:

If you did, you might find a sammich in your folds. YUM!

RINK RINK RINK?? Are your inner voices off key again?

AGAIN? Babe, I have learned how to keep it in perpetual motion. WHAT??? Don't EVEN kid around like that!

Okay, why am I hearing the EEEEE EEEE EEEEE EEEEE EEEEE sound from Psycho the second KC showed up??

Those voices keep telling you that, don't they? Poor dear...

Wait... they don't... they don't LIKE me? What are you saying?? Seriously??? I'm stuck with YOU losers? Now I'm REALLY depressed. Where's the pureed possum a la mode with caramel sauce and chocolate sprinkles? *sob*

Yeah, I DO know. I'm really glad that you are staying with your therapist. I was going to do the same and just recently hooked up with one after many months out. I just thought the added support would be good as I battle a lot of hurdles and have people around me who aren't as supportive as they could be. Total foodies. And texture, yeah, true. I had two weeks liquids prior, two weeks liquids after, then two weeks mushies before I could actually chew anything. To be honest, I suffered NO real hunger after surgery. It may have been about a week before I felt a bit. So you might be lucky. Good luck! I take it your surgery is coming up soon. I just kept it in the back of my mind that this (liquids, mushies, discomfort) was temporary, but my new lifestyle was going to be forever. I wanted it bad enough that my personal promise to myself was that I was NOT going to complain about any of it. And if you ask my husband, he can attest to that. It seemed to help me handle it all.

Okay, I'm really starting to have issues with my band. It's round with a hole, so it always makes me think of donuts... I have a donut inside me that I can't eat. I don't think I can handle it. I'm eyeballing my nail clippers...

Well... okay, here's a thought. Stay with me here. If you puree him right soon after he ate the frosting, aren't you ALSO eating frosting too?

Sure, no problem. I'm turning over a new leaf cuz Monkey seems to think I'm slinging poo a bit too much.

Banned? ME?? :biggrin: Warm and fuzzy is my way. That SLUT!!! And her too!

That's what I get for playing Susie Homemaker and sewing all day.

Uh...

So I'm missing more drama and angst? I should offer my help. People love it so.