BethFromVA

I hadn't thought about that. Sad, really...

She was thinner a year ago. She has definitely put on about 30 pounds (though she is taller than me). I could sit on her head and squish it like a melon.

I_Said_NO, it's IMPERATIVE that you not guage your success by the scale alone. The fact that you say you are losing inches means you ARE losing. However, you are likely gaining muscle (a VERY good thing), which makes the scale not budge. When i used to diet in the past, I would keep a weight loss journal, but more importantly, I would keep a journal with inches lost. When I would have what I thought were plateaus where I lost no weight, I almost ALWAYS had lost inches. So in reality, it is NOT a plateau. You are simply increasing muscle which in the long run burns more fat. That's why guys lose so much quicker than us -- their muscle mass. Watching the scale may make you worry, freak, or slip. I too say to ditch it. Even WW doesn't require you to weigh in each week.

Had my psych eval to day. I think everything went well. She told me that barring any really bizarre results from my paper testing, I WILL be banded on November 21st! However, I think I will choose to call my new "birthday" YESvember. :wink_smile:

Well, I just told my husband about my decision to get the lap band surgery. I had not told anybody but my best friend a few weeks ago when I was going to the seminar because I knew she would just listen and not judge or try to convince me one way or the other. Hubby can tend to be a bit negative and always points out the bad, so I chose not to tell him until I had chosen because, frankly, this is about and for me. All he knew was that I was going to all these doctor appointments and knew I had something going on but didn't want to talk to him about it just yet. Until tonight. He was amazingly supportive and happy that out of all the WLS out there, I had chosen this one because it was not as drastic as so many others out there. I was so surprised that I started crying. He asked if I was sad about this, and I said no... just emotional. There's a part of me that is SO excited to begin this new journey, yet another little voice in my head said I failed or wasn't strong enough to do this myself. He shushed me and said that's not true at all... this is just a tool, and I will still have the work to do. I just need some help, and that's okay. He even asked, if it was okay with me, if he could go with me to meet with the nutritionist when that time comes because he does a lot of the cooking and wants to know what will be best for me. How fantastic is that? Wow. :sad_smile:

More often than not I feel that fitness trainers way over-push people who are not ready for it, trying to get them to do things their body isn't ready for or simply can't do. And because they have a little schooling under their belts to be certified trainers, they think they know everything.

Aw, that's sweet. :eek: The food thing may be a double-edged sword with him. You see, hubby LOVES food. I don't mean like, I don't mean just loves to eat, he LOVES FOOD. He was fat as a youngster until he hit college, and I was thin until I hit my mid-20's (about a year after we met). Don't get me wrong, he could stand to lose about 20 pounds, but I went from 140 to what is now my highest, 290. :eek: Eating the same... and in many cases, I ate a lot less. When I dieted before, he took over the cooking because he liked it better than cleaning up. I did lose 70 pounds, but there were a few times I hit some somewhat major plateaus, only to find out he was adding wine to everything to add flavor! I got really mad about that because for my weight loss, that little additive was keeping me from losing. And as typically happens, that "little bit" would increase from a splash to a half cup or more! I know he supports me and wants me healthy. However, the day WILL come when he realizes he loses his "eating buddy." Before I just gave up because the temptation just got to be too great. He wouldn't feel like cooking, and that restaurant we love would call out really loud... So I guess we will have to see how this goes in the long run.

Well, I just told my husband about my decision to get the lap band surgery. I had not told anybody but my best friend a few weeks ago when I was going to the seminar because I knew she would just listen and not judge or try to convince me one way or the other. Hubby can tend to be a bit negative and always points out the bad, so I chose not to tell him until I had chosen because, frankly, this is about and for me. All he knew was that I was going to all these doctor appointments and knew I had something going on but didn't want to talk to him about it just yet. Until tonight. He was amazingly supportive and happy that out of all the WLS out there, I had chosen this one because it was not as drastic as so many others out there. I was so surprised that I started crying. He asked if I was sad about this, and I said no... just emotional. There's a part of me that is SO excited to begin this new journey, yet another little voice in my head said I failed or wasn't strong enough to do this myself. He shushed me and said that's not true at all... this is just a tool, and I will still have the work to do. I just need some help, and that's okay. He even asked, if it was okay with me, if he could go with me to meet with the nutritionist when that time comes because he does a lot of the cooking and wants to know what will be best for me. How fantastic is that? Wow. :sad_smile:

Ooooh, ditto!

You can do it, Kathy. I'll be joining you soon enough! :sad_smile:

Omg, you are FANTASTIC!! I'm so proud for you! That has got to feel better than ANY food ever did. :sad_smile:

I have (Anthem) BCBS too. They must be the way to go. I only just had my consult about two weeks ago. Had it not been for my vacation last week, I may have gotten an even sooner date. However, since I am running out of time off, I opted for the Friday, November 21st date she had so I at least have the weekend, and then just a short week before Thanksgiving. It will be a TRUE Thanksgiving for me this year. :sad_smile:

My mom is notorious for saying one thing one time and then flip-flopping on it later on. She suggested surgery to me a couple times in the past, but frankly, the only surgery I knew about was gastric bypass which scared the bejeepers out of me and was a huge NO in my book. However, I know if I told her before the surgery that I am doing it, she would probably start talking against it. It also doesn't help that one of her neighbor friends is a very opinionated nurse. You can do the math from there. :sad_smile: Heck, even hubby doesn't know yet, and I just got my surgery date today! I was going to tell him about it last night, but we are still so jet lagged from a trip we got back from on Monday and he was so tired I said I'd tell him today. I wanted to be sure of what I was wanting and getting myself into before I involved anybody else.

I completely understand where you're coming from. However, for me, I am more scared of dying fat -- from heart disease, diabetes, a stroke, cancer, and any number of things. When I look at it that way, for me it makes this surgery a bit less scary.

Looks like I join y'all!! I got a date today from the doc for November 21!! Omg, I can't believe how fast this happened! :sad_smile: I'm dubbing next month "YESvember". hehehe!!

Reality sucks sometimes, doesn't it? :sad_smile: The fact is, many people DO believe all their problems are due to their weight. It's a hard reality when we find out that the weight was just an additional problem to the ones we already had. I know that adjusting to my new body (when it happens) will be exciting and scary at the same time. I know that I must address the issues that made me overeat. Many people replace overeating for overdoing something else: shopping, exercising, gambling, sex addictions... all sorts of things. Which creates all NEW problems. My sister is like that. She was a bulimic. Now I believe she has that under control, but she is (I believe) an alcoholic. And when I saw her this past summer, she was WAY overdoing the exercise thing. It was absolutely manic. So long as we know these things going into this journey, we won't be surprised or potentially even more depressed in our thinner selves. I think it's very important that we heal the mental self as much as we are working so hard to heal the physical self. No matter how great thin feels, there was still something within us that drove us to get fat. Heal that as best you can and you will succeed in the long run, in my humble opinion.

Yeah, ironic, isn't it? I guess I look at it this way: We didn't gain weight because we were happy campers. Losing the weight won't make us happy campers either. We will still be the same people, just in different packaging. Whatever made us react by overeating will still be there. It's up to us to address both issues -- physical and mental.

You make total sense, really. I know that there was at least one time when, after losing 50 pounds and being about 180 a nice guy was paying attention to me. Not leering or nasty, just acting like I was somebody, you know? Nothing happened other than we flirted a teeny bit, but I have a husband who has never been very sexual with me (I don't think it's about the weight, it's just him) and I found the attention flattering. Once I found myself making plans to lie to my husband just to go out and dance with this guy (hubby doesn't dance), I became scared. I didn't go dance, and I wasn't planning an affair, but just the fact that I was willing to lie to go out and have fun freaked me out. Immediately thereafter I gained the weight back just from the stress. And I think I have mentally sabotaged myself when I've lost before too. I realize that I will likely have to address these issues as I lose through therapy. I know a lot of the reasons I gained, so I don't need to research that; I will just need to work on me -- the new me -- as I become this different person on the outside. And hopefully during this process, I will become a different person on the inside too -- one that isn't so mean to myself and self-deprecating.

Hey SPEED, it's sounding as if the extra skin thing will be enough of a deterrent for us to keep our clothes on with strangers, eh? :thumbup:

I like that.

This may be dealt with here, but there are SO MANY topics, I just thought I'd ask. How many have or had issues with your brain and eyes catching up with your weight loss? In other words, what was your experience with body image? Granted, I know my skin won't look great, and I can be okay with that now as it's more important to be healthy, but after being fat for so long, I wonder how my brain will handle a large weight loss. How did y'all do with that, and was it hard? Easy? Did you see what others saw? I can't help but wonder what that will be like.

This thread is really hitting something within me. I am still pre-op, but I know the issues discussed here are a reality -- more for some, less for some. Years ago I used to have visions of returning to my pre-fat, 120 pound range. Not just the range, but the body as well. Then a few years ago I lost 70 pounds (which has re-found me, by the way... :grouphug:) and I noticed my big belly was turning into an apron. I remember back then thinking, WTF?? All this work and this is my reward?? So now I'm going into this procedure knowing those days of being a tight 120-pound raven-haired beauty are gone. After reading these replies, I now realize I may look older too (I am 42 and can pass for early 30's easy). I had said for years that I figured if I lost the weight, all the fat that was pushing out my wrinkles would be gone and then what? Right now I say I would rather be healthy and not worry about the fact I will never be a hardbody. I say I would rather be able to tie my shoes without sounding like a bull in heat than worrying about extra wrinkles. I say I would rather be able to walk up my 14 stairs and not sound like an overheating VW Bug than regaining my apron. I say I would rather not risk the diabetes that is knocking at my door than potentially losing some hair. I tell myself now that the realism is my weight loss is needed -- desperately needed -- for my very life and, just as important, my quality of life. I too was one who was blessed with having a nice body for some time. I don't know which is worse -- those who were always overweight who lose or those who remember when they looked fantastic and seem to have it in their minds that that is what they will regain with the lost weight. The thought of hair loss, wrinkles, and looking like a flying squirrel do not appeal to me in the least. However, being thisclose to 300 pounds is, for me, worse. Right now I say I will gladly choose the lesser of two evils. One hundred pounds from now I may also feel the bittersweet tang of what that loss means, but for now, I would take 100 pounds lost over anything else in this world. I hope that when I hit the century mark, I will look at the sagging skin and even my wrinkles as a testament to a job well done rather than a punishment. For me, the punishment is being the weight I am and the life I am losing as a result of it.

I know when I lost weight in the past it certainly did that to me too (the hornier part, not the threesome/couples part, lol)! :biggrin:

So true. I have the reverse problem: Though I know I am fat, I don't see just how FAT I am until I see myself in a pic. :biggrin:

Got that right! I just don't understand people who walk into an X-rated store and then complain about all the dirty stuff. :biggrin: