Sugar1

Well, my husband told me this weekend that he is going to be moving out. We have been having trouble for years but keep thinking we could work things out. I have not slept with him in the same bed for approximately 5 years, no intimacy at all. I have no interest in him and have so much anger towards him. He sees himself as the victim and that he does nothing wrong, blames everything on me. Whatever is wrong with his life is my fault. I was going to take our 12 year old twins and move out since we live in my in-laws house, but he said that because economically it would make sense for him to move out, he would do so. This is something that I wanted. I wanted to split, however, I am so anxious about it, how we will live money-wise. I make a little bit more than he does, but not much. My children both wanted this too, however, my son started asking me about money last night. I told my husband that I thought that we should talk to both kids since they overheard him say he was moving out. I told him last night that they are asking questions. He said he was not going to talk to them now, but they could ask him any questions they wanted, however, both kids will not approach him on this. I think in his mind once he talks to the kids it is a definite he has to move out and maybe he really doesn't want to. I don't know, but I am so confused. This is something that I really want. We have been together for 24 years. Married for 18 years in Sept. I guess I am looking for reassurance that I can do this on my own. My parents divorced when I was 8 years old. When I talked to my mother about this, she said that things are different now from when she divorced my dad and since I have 2 kids, I should just stay with my husband until they are 18 and then deal with things. I don't know... Yvonne

Does anyone get a pain on their side after eating... sometimes I think this happens if I have eaten too much... and I don't think it is gas... was wondering if this is something that happens to others....

I have been under a tremendous amount of stress for the past few weeks and my band has been even tighter than usual and I am pb'ing a lot and everything that I eat is painful. It's an awful feeling. I don't know which is worse... the pain and pb'ing from eating, or the stress and the way it makes you feel. urghh

Thanks for your thoughts DynamoMini. I don't think a fill is what I need since everything I have been eating lately does make me ill. I pb a lot and I think that the band is tightening up with all the stress. Even though the eating is hurting, I still eat, and eat, and eat... I tend to eat lowfat ice cream for dinner because it is easy to go down, but a half gallon is lasting me what, 3 days??? I think I need to start with the nutritionist, but, who has time for that? I know I don't... I am always having to entertain the kids because my kids don't want to be home with hubby cause he's always yelling about one thing or the other

I have been banded since April 2006 and have lost a total of 95 lbs (although I gained 10 lbs on vacation... too many Bahama Mamas)... so, now my weight loss total is 85 lbs. and I can't seem to get back in control. I have been overweight all my life... for as long as I remember. I can remember growing up being put down by my mother for being overweight, being teased in school and being told I couldn't do things because of my weight. I didn't have many real boyfriends. I met my husband when I was 19 and although I thought I was in love with him, now looking back, I was in love with the thought that someone was willing to be with me in spite of my weight. We got married, after 5 years we had twins... I have been up and down in my weight all through marriage and have been up and down in my emotions. I finally realize that I never did love my husband, and still don't. Now, because of our living separate lives under the same roof (that's a whole other story), I am dealing with depression on an even grander scale, even though I function on the outside (one would not know I was depressed by looking at me), but I am eating more, and not because I am hungry. I stopped smoking for about a year, and went back to smoking, I am in early menopause and taking hormones because the emotional swings got so bad and my ob/gyn said she would give me something for the depression, but that it would possibly make me gain weight. I don't want that, I am petrified of gaining back all the weight I have lost. The 10 lbs I gained on vacation is an obscession to me, but I seem to not be able to get control of my eating. I am in a catch-22. I remember when I was first banded I was told I would not see below 200 lbs. Well, I am very close to that and want to show that I can do it. I want to lose another 50 lbs. I don't want to be fat the rest of my life. But losing weight is not making things any better because now all I see is the hanging skin on my arms, my legs and my stomach and I have been obscessing about that. Grrrrr.... nothing is easy Sugar1

I pb a lot... almost every day... I think it is caused also by way too much stress and when I pms and when I get my period, I go on liquids cause I can't keep anything down, and I have trouble eating in the mornings. Yvonne

I haven't posted anything since November. Life just got way too busy to get online, however, I am back!!! Wow... I stumbled on this thread and it is exactly on point with what I have been going through. I have twins. A girl and a boy. They will be 12 next month. Gabriella is an inch shorter than Joey and she weighs 120 lbs. Joey is 108, however, he is very solid. he can stand to lose a few pounds (or stay the same and just maintain weight while he grows). Gabriella is very heavy. She has a large stomach. She is a dancer, and very good at it, however, next year she wants to start toe and will not be able to do it unless she loses weight. Her ankles won't hold her up. I dread going clothes shopping with her because she cries and then gets angry at me (yes, she blames me) for her weight. She refuses to eat anything that is healthy and eats enormous amounts of food at meals and is always looking for some type of fattening snack. When my DH and I try to control what she eats, it is a fight. She only eats chicken fingers and french fries or a BLT and french fries when we go out to eat, or babyback ribs and french fries. I am at a loss. I don't know what to do. I thought when I was banded and lost weight, it would inspire and help her, but she has just gotten worse. My son on the other hand, eats well. He eats all kinds of food and fruit. My DD refuses to pick up a piece of fruit. HELP!!!!! I don't want her to go through what I have gone through. It is a constant source of anxiety for me. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Anyone want to try Friday nite at around 9 p.m. Eastern time??? Saturday nite also works... but I think maybe you're right, lots of people out partying... we may have more luck on a Friday nite.

Susan... I just looked at your profile on myspace. Great profile. I enjoyed it very much. Let's see if we can get a date and time together to go to the chat room. Maybe we can have others join us. I have gone in there so many times for it to come up empty.

Omg Congrats To You All!!! I Have Five, Yes, Five Pounds More To Go Before I Get To 100... And It's Taking Sooooooooooo Long To Get There Now That I Only Have 5 To Go... Oh, Well, Slow And Steady Wins The Race, Right? I Sure Hope So... Maybe Next Week I Will Hit 100....

Don't know about you guys, but without a bra on, I am flat as a pancake, although down to my knees!!! UGHHH!!!!

Thank you Julie and Puddin. Julie... meet you at the finish line..... :gluck:

lcain... I don't get pain under my rib, but I get a pain in my lower left stomach after eating... I think it may be just gas, but sometimes it lasts for a long time and yes, you get a lot of gas after being banded. I have a 4 cc band and had a fill yesterday. So far I have 2.5 cc's in my band and my doc told me that he doesn't have any patients who have more than 3 cc's in their band. So far with only 2.5 cc's 6 months post-op, I have lost 91 lbs which he said is where I should be 1 year out (according to statistics). Anyway, hope this helps.

I was a 46D pre surgery and am a 38B now!!! Pretty soon I will be able to use my daughter's training bras

Wow, what a nice, thoughtful thing to do. Everyone deserves a thank you now and then.

My first post here was on 4/6/06, 2 days post op and was a little discouraged that my surgeon did not think I would see any less than 200 lbs at 1 year post-op. Well, I am now 6 months out and have 9 lbs to go before I hit the 100 lb gone club. I have 20 lbs to go until onderland. I am truly committed to my health, my band and proving that when you put your mind to something, you CAN do it!!! Thanks to you all for your inspiration and support.

Ok, count me in... now at least when I go to the doc in 2 weeks and she asks me if I am exercising, I can honestly say yes!!!!!

I am a paralegal and office manager and have worked for the same attorneys for the past 14 years. I love my job but it is soooooooooooo stressful. We do estate work and one would think it's low key... NOT!!!!! I also have 11 year old twins that I shuffle back and forth to after-school activities.

Sherri: I too have horrible hunger at my TOM!!! I feel as if I can eat everything in site. I never suffered from cramps prior to my band surgery, but since the band, I have cramps for 2-3 days after my TOM begins. I also get horrible bloating so I feel like as if I have gained A LOT of weight, only to step on the scale and see 1-2 lbs up which is the water weight. Once my TOM ends, I am back down the 1-2 or even more. By the way, at my TOM, I still crave sweets and salt, but now, if I give in to the sweet temptation, I only have something small... not gorging myself like before. I actually have my TOM now and have had cramps since it started on Monday. Also, on Monday, I found I ordered while at work a bacon, egg and cheese on a bagel and while I felt like I ate too much, I ate 1/2 the sandwich and it took an hour to do.

Thanks Yoda. My doc doesn't like to do big fills for fear of overfill. I think I do have restriction and I am also VERY careful of what I put in my mouth. I was even careful in the Bahamas, and like I said, because I ate more, I exercised in the gym at night, which I don't usually do. I am a very determined person. When I first had my consultation for the surgery, the doc said I probably won't see less than 200 lbs ever. Well, don't tell me I can't do something because I will put your words back in your mouth, so that's why I am so determined. Plus, I have my brother's wedding next month and want to lose as much as possible by then. Hey Yoda, I am going on a cruise to the caribbean next year.... wanna come... no hubby again... he's afraid of water... lol

Wow... I've been gone for a bit and I come back and everyone is doing so well. Lapbandit... what can I say, except CONGRATS! I was away in the Bahamas with my kids (no DH as he couldn't get away from work) and it was literally paradise. Kids had a great time and although I ate more than usual, I made sure I went to the gym to work out a bit to burn the excess calories from food and those bahama mama's!!!! Now it's back to reality and getting things done for my baby brother's wedding next month, getting the kids ready for school, getting my daughter ready for dance starting up soon and everything else, I've had no time to get online. I have received great news... no more diabetes, and my blood pressure is NORMAL!!! No more medication!!!!! I have been on blood pressure medication for the past 10 years and they took me off. My knees don't hurt, and my heel spurs don't hurt either. I can finally wear super flat shoes. My doc told me I am no longer "morbidly" obese. Just plain old obese. She said it won't be long until I am no longer obese. Can't wait!!! Has anyone had this problem: you know you lost weight, because the scale tells you so, your clothes tell you so, other people tell you so, but no matter how hard you try to see it, when you look in the mirror, you just can't see it. I told my doc that I now know how anorexic's feel. She seems to think I need to go to her monthly support group. Is anyone else feeling like this?

4-3: JenRN - 263/257/248/150 - 15 total 4-3: jenn28 - 282/265/229/165 - 53 total 4-3: Picardy3 - 298/300/271/150 - 29 total 4-3: tipper - 300/290/259/165 - 41 total 4-4: Sugar1 - 311/289/231/150 - 80 total 4-4: Dak – 255/251/225/150 – 50 total 4-4: Angels - 264/255/235/? - 29 total 4-4: Harpseal Al - 327/295/220 - 34 total 4-5: Boo - 208/203/188/130 - 20 total 4-6: Disneynut - 290/287/260/125 - 27 total 4-7: Guysis - 234/205/134 - 29 total 4-10: JulieNYC - 358/298/150 - 60 total 4-11: Vickie1177 - 320/297/267/137 - 53 total 4-11: tellymelly - 240/235/184/135 - 55 total 4-11: Fel0816 - 307/284/265/to get under 200 - 42 total 4-11: dsrjrr - 231/230/210/130 - 21 total 4:11: truckinmama - 262/234/160 28 total 4-13: Nursekathy2u - 358/356/335/175 - 23 total 4-13: NJgirl - 248/230/212/140 - 36 total 4-13: Miper70 - 217/201/145 - 16 total 4-17: Amourette - 22.5 total 4-17: Jeepergurrl - 242/222/140 - 20 total 4-17: MelAnne - 245/207/150 - 38 total 4-18: Danaclark2 - 270/260.5/245/150 - 25 total 4-18: LapBandit - 392/369/347/336/324/308 - 84 total 4-20: Omamoon - 220/211.5/202/130 - 18 total 4-20: KimInMD - 288/288/253/156 - 35 total 4-21: Yoda - 273/257/231/150 - 42 total 4-21: kristielynn - 310/302/259/150 - 51 total 4-22: alisonb - 286/270/176 - 16 total 4-24: Eficka - 125/117 op.day/106.6/69 - 18.4 kgs/40.4 lbs total 4-24: Ceparano - 255/270.5/235/170 - 35 total 4-24: Kat - 289/281/246/165 - 43 lbs total 4-24: hlj25950 - 262/257/241/160 - 21 total 4-25: momof2boys - 270/266/244/145 - 26 total 4-26: Bostongurl - 264/244/208/145 - 56 total 4-27: tinaj - 226/221/210/150 - 15 total 4-27: lookingout - 185/178/165/101 - 20 total 4-27: flowergoddesstn - 214/204/190/130 - 24 total 4-27: Dimples0323 - 284/284/241/145 - 43 total 4-28: Susan4794 - 283/267/260.2/145 - 22.8 total 4-28: bluehill - 333/278/145 - 55 total 4-28: Irish Girl - 224/214/182/135 - 42 total <!-- / message --><!-- sig --> <!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

I bought the book Eating Well After Weight Loss Surgery. The Author was banded. The recipes are simple and delicious. You can use the recipes at the liquid, mushie and normal stage in your journey.

Amy, Sherri and Tracey... WELCOME TO BANDLAND... I hope and pray that all went well with you and congratulations. Yvonne

Dody... the gas has NOTHING to do with the food or the size of your liver, it has to do with the fact that they pump your stomach with air for the surgery... and the anesthesia... that's where the gas comes from. Yvonne