So I did it!!!
When I was banded my doctor said the average person losses between 40-50 pounds. I thought that was fantastic! I was 255 pounds and the thought of loosing 50 pounds was amazing.
But it after I got the surgery I decided that I wanted to go all the way. I wanted to lose everything. It's been 9 1/2 years and I am 103 pounds!! I went from a size 22 to a size 0, from a 2x to a XXS. I went from, 'Sorry nothing fits you in this store because you're too big.' to 'Sorry nothing fits you in this store because you're too small.' I went from 52% body fat to 13% body fat.
Am I happy? It took me a long time to be happy to be honest. I fought happiness every step of the way. I thought that I didn't deserve to be successful and thin. I stil had a mental image of my former self so it was a challenge accepting the new image in the mirror. It took a long time but I have accepted myself as I am now. I'm no longer afraid of being thin. (I was very afraid of becoming thin when I started this process. I used my fat to protect myself from the world. I felt safe being overweight- not happy, but safe.) But today I am very safe, because I am strong and accomplished! I realize now I worked hard for this outcome.
For the the record I lost the weight walking every day, portion sizes, cutting out bread and sugar That's it, that's all. I have maintained the weight all this time doing the same things: I eat small meals and snacks often, and I drink tons of water. I never skip exercising either. I get up everyday at 5:30 and hit the road. It's not complicated, it just takes dedication.
I didn't post this sooner because I have been waiting to see if this was just a fluke. Was I going to go back to my old ways in a few years? Plus for the past couple of years the feedback that I have received hasn't always been positive. Most people tell me to eat more instead of congratulations. Some people think that I have an eating disorder and they say really nasty things to me. But I figure those are the people that said nasty things about me when I was bigger; it's just that they said it behind my back instead of to my face. When you go from the biggest personin the room to the smallest person in the room things can get a little weird for other people, sometimes they flip out. I was the fat friend and the fat family member. I made people feel better about themselves. 'Oh, at least I'm not as bad off as Amy. Whew!' Where is their touch point now?
But now I feel strong enough to post because damn it I worked really hard to accomplish my goal. I keep working hard to maintain it. I'm the one who passes up on the cake, cookies, and ice cream. I am the one who is up at the crack of dawn to exercise. I deserve to be proud of my accomplishments now. I did it! Yes, I reached my goal and more importantly I have been maintaining it for years. I did what I first thought was impossible.
If you've done it too, then great job! If you're reading this for inspiration then please know this: I fell on my face so many times. I cheated and sabotaged myself but I always kept on trying. I never gave up. It was not easy. I used every support tool there was to get this done. I just kept being honest with myself and I kept going. I found the easiest thing to do for me and then just stuck with it. I also leaned a lot on my husband and daughter. Use everything you have to to get this done. You are worth it!