riley4183

LOL! another woman speaks out about her pannus: "Let's make sure I'm getting this "pannus" word right first. Is that the belly that hangs over my girl parts? If so, then my pannus has a mind of its own and makes its own decisions. I was leaning over the copy machine to select the number of copies and the machine started copying before I hit "go." I thought the machine was flipping out, but that's when I noticed the 'ol pannus flopped itself on the "go" button for me. It also knows how to type. If I reach to get the phone, it flops onto my keyboard and types faster than me! I can't tell you how many times I've seen rows of X or C going across the screen before realizing my pannus is editing my document. Lop the damn thing off!"

Tamra - I was at goal when I saw my surgeon on a Friday, I asked him if I could see the case manager right away, and he personally walked me across the hall and got me an appointment for - Monday! 3 days later - and I had to lose another friggin pound! But I did it! Water water water water water - you want to feel like you are goingto float away, every time you want to eat something make yourself drink a bottle of water first. You'll think you're drowning, but it works! Chris good to hear from you! Yes baby pics please :-) I can't wait!! Tina how are you holding up girlfriend? Hey Candra, hey Jes! It's getting close to getting-together-in-east-bay time/ Pat will carpool down with me! Maybe some sacto people can come over? Let's plan a walking activity (as opposed to an eating one) - or both!

Oh goodness, it IS crock-pot weather! Raining here, a little bit this morning and quite a bit this afternoon - I was glad I'd gotten my walking in before the rain. I have been going in to the office at 6:30, working for an hour then walking for an hour, since I can't go b4 work now it's not light out until after 7 am!! Crazy! How did I do this last year? I don't even remember, but I started losing in November so I dealt with the darkness SOMEhow. Supposed to REALLY rain tomorrow, we are due to get 4 inches which would be great! And hopefully my check will get deposited tomorrow so I can get some groceries & get my eating back on track. No more bowls of cereal cause it's all we have! I am just not feeling motivated to diet, and I'm not feeling bad about it, either(!) which is totally new to this obsessive. Good job in your class Heather, I think you have WAY enough going on! Got pics of the house yet? John I'm so glad you enjoyed the walk & met folk! What a small world we live in, no? Keep up the good walking, you are doing great! Pat I'll bet you are down 5, the Kaiser scale has been good to me! You are so on track for a surgery this year!!!! Very exciting!!! Nicole, Tina, I am proud of my girls, you are thrown into the ost stressful situations thatyou have faced for years, and you are HANDLING IT WITHOUT FOOD as your crutch! Yay girls, and yay band, which doesn't let us flub up TOO bad! Pammie glad you finally have restriction!!you're workin it now Jes let's get together soon, Candra Reggie, wanna play?? LOL we are trouble!!! Chris! How's our band baby? We need a progress report! OK got to go put a load in the dryer, ttfn

Congratulations!!! What a great story. I wish you and your fiance all the best in your new lives!!!

Did my little 5K, did my laundry, dyed my roots, took a super-hot super-long shower (it's raining here - so that felt BOMB after getting cold & wet doing the 5K!), flattened hair, did some research for work online, made dinner (Ahi tuna), ATE a piece of tuna - that's 2 fish in one DAY!, ate a bowl of cereal (bad girl, slider food but need some fiber and no $$ to go buy veggies), drinking herbal tea . . BORED BORED BORED. I despise being broke but I guess I had better get used to it! I guess I could have gone to the gym. I guess I still could . . . naaaa. I'm going to drink herbal tea & read a book :-)

OMG Heather are you KIDDING? An HOUR on the ellipical! Ye gads . . . I consider myself to be in pretty good shape, and I MAX at 10 minutes! Holy cow. I HAVE TO go back to the gym now, because I have to have at LEAST 8 weeks of ski training before I hit the slopes over Christmas! I am so excited, I have not skiid for YEARS just sit in the lodge and drink . . .well not this year! This was my big goal I set for myself after last year's Christmas ski trip, and I am SO going to do it. I'll have plenty of time off, LOL, what with the MTO. No money to do it, but I'll work it out! I can't wait - and what a good way to mix up my exercise! Not getting me on that elliptical for an hour tho. Nonononono

ANyone out there? Heather? John? Jes is out having fun - just us here I guess!

LOL Pat, exactly what I have been wondering but was afraid to ask! I drag down to my subscribed threads everytime, unless I see that the last post to the pre-op segment was our group then I just click nthere! I have no freaking idea how to do it the "short" way, but you are right, there has to be one! For "what else have you lost", just go to post-op and search for that

OH! I forgot to announce - Michelle (Team Thrive, and at meeting yesterday) and I work in the same Department, and Friday we turned in our newsletter story that goes all over the county - about our weight loss surgeries! RNY for her, LAP-BAND® for me - both Kaiser, SSF for her and Richmond for me. It reads like a freakin' Thrive ad . . . . So we have "come out" about our WLS's to total strangers and clients now!! Wish us luck . . .deadline was friday, story should be out within 2 weeks! I'm a little nervous, but here goes!!!

OH yes, balance is my #1 issue. I am known for saying "It's all about ME" because it's something that I (co that I am) did not discover I was even capable of until after 45! Now I tend to overdo the "me" part (well my youngest thinks so!) but I have discovered that I really like doing for me - in fact, I really like me, and I've missed her! Self-esteem has never been an issue for me, denial yes but self-esteem, no. I denied that I was treated any differently @ work because of my weight; I am a professional and I work with professionals. It was not until I had dropped 70-80 lbs. that I started noticing that folks were REALLY paying attention when I talked, that they were actually hearing me, etc. and that just pissed me off! I'm the same person . . . . but probably cockier and more self-assured now. OK more than probably :-) I an definately cockier. Most of my friends, tho, have expressed that with weight loss comes a much higher level of self-esteem, and most of them struggle with the new-found attention. I don't; I have always liked attention. But if you are used to being able to hide and suddenly you can't anymore, it's crazy! Have you read my thread, "what else have you lost?" people have lost friends, marraiges, etc. because their attitude has changed in 2 important ways: 1), they have learned to put themselves first; and 2), they have stopped putting up with sh*t from others. People who don't want us to change and grow and be self-assured don'tlike those changes! How did weight loss change how I feel about me? It made me feel like me. I was here all along :-) and I missed me. I was lost in a fat person - and was in denial about it for a long, LONG time. I love having a body that works for me again. I love being "normal." I love losing my frumpy look, and feeling like I look nice and neatr and prefessional again. I like being able to wear business suits to my hearings. This is who I walays knew I was. I guess people DO react differently to me now - they act right :-) Does that sound weird? OH Pat you have got to come to a Tuesday meeting - Mia, who I was sitting next to yesterday, spoke (very tearfully) about this subject just a few weeks ago. No, Susan was not at the meeting yesterday, but I had walked 3 miles with her an hour earlier! We remain a big part of each others' lives, thank the Lord "-)

Oh Pat I am so glad you enjoyed it! Although I cry so muvch through those things thatnI'm not even sure "enjoy" is the right word! Oh if you think Dave's story is moving, you should hear little 18 year old Paloma's dad when he gets up and speak about how proud he is of her - not a dry eye in the house! Yes it is ALL about support, and about dealing with our feelings, which are what put us on the website in the 1st place if you think about it! And I am so glad that the depression topic came up several times yesterday, it is REAL and we all go through it at some level! Besides that meeting and Tim/Bonnie's 3rd Thursday support group, we (what used to be my 14 week class (you met only 2 of them yesterday), plus others we have welcomed along the way) also meet every other Tuesday at one of the members' houses, and we would LOVE to have you! We are all Kaiser, either Richmond or SSF, and almost all have had syurgery now. We laugh almost the whole time! We used to cry a lot more, come to think of it . . . now we are a lot less scared! People ask me all the time what the secret is, and I have 2 answers: 1) exercise (sorry!); and 2) support. ANYways . . I will see you Thursday! Great to meet you too! And yes, binder clips ARE a fashion accessory!!!

Heather woo-hoo! Making on offer! OMG how exciting! COngrats - or shall I save that until your offer is accepted. woo-hoo!

Here is what my dear friend Susan (from my 14 week Kaiser WLS class) just posted . . .I think it is VERY instructive!! I hope Liz or Robin or someone from Richmond Kaiser reads this, and knows what a difference they have made in this girl's life! Both Susan, who wrote this, and her sister Buffy who she talks about in here, did the Tahoe Marathon 2 weeks ago, too . . GO TEAM THRIVE!!! When is the right time for each person to have WLS? How do you know that you are ready? Wish I had a great answer for these questions, but the truth is, there is no right answer, and I believe it is a different journey for each and every person! Many people who have seen me prior to my WLS and then now, Post Surgery... make many very flattering comments regarding my WLS journey, talking about all the work that I have done, and the changes I have made... just to lose the weight and be approved for the surgery to start with... and then positive comments about my not wanting any cake when it goes around at work, and packing smaller high protien lunches for my meals at work, my clothes swimming on me, rooting me on with my participation in a 10k and half marathon, etc. The truth is, and those closest to me know... this journey has started and stopped many a time... depending on what you are calling "the journey". If you consider the decision to have WLS (weight loss surgery) the begining of my journey... it actually started approximately 10 to 11 years ago. That is when I first began to toy with the idea, however had no idea of what exactly was involved and what was required to be successful with it. A few years after going back and forth with the idea... I actually was referred by my primary doctor. Part of my insurances program (Pacific Care) at the time, was a requirement to take a Healthy Weigh class. This consisted of going to class one day a week for approx. 11 weeks. The whole premise was that your body knew its correct weight and could self regulate your portions if you let it. I attended each and every class faithfully, even signing up to continue after its finish with a follow up class. We worked on logging when, what, and how much we ate... and ranked how hungry we were in the begining and how full we were at the end of the meal (on a scale of 1-10). We also had movment and exercise at the end of each class... so each week a different type of exercise was introduced (this was my most favorite part). I found that I enjoyed Yoga, the exercise ball, and line dancing the most out of all the different things that we tried each week. After the above class, I sort of fell off the radar for awhile, again thinking that perhaps I could just do the above and lose the weight by myself, but it didn't quite work that way. Needless to say I came back to the idea of WLS, and this time was referred to a barriactric surgeon over in Sacramento (approx. 2-3 hrs drive from my home). Those who know me, know that I do not particularly like driving alone, especially long distances and to places that I am not that familiar with. So I dragged a girlfriend, my sister, and anyone else that would go with me. At this time, family was not so keen on the idea of WLS, however they still stood behind me. I remember my sister saying something to the effect of, are you sure you need to do this, it seems pretty radical, I don't think I could do it! I went thru a mirad of test, which were all fine, (Labs, X-ray type procedures, Pysch exam, etc.) and told to lose approx. 10 percent of my weight. I was given a 1400 calorie diet to follow, encouraged to exercise and rescheduled to return in another month or two. So I did what I did best for my entire life... I struggled with keeping to the 1400 calorie diet and I remember going over this amount several times. I remember, it being very difficult to cut back to what I thought was an extremely small amount of food! Several months and appointments later, I finally got to the initial goal weight and had a surgeons appointment in 1 1/2 weeks. Nervous, nervous, excited, and more nervous... I slipped off the wagon and began to eat... The day of the appointment, I came up over the weight required... and told to reschedule when I had lost the weight, and so I went... repeating this cycle of losing and gaining, losing and gaining... the doctors office called in every couple of months, but I finally became discouraged and realized just how scared to death I was that I would die on the table during surgery. My insurance eventually sent me notice that the surgeon was no longer under their list of providers and to contact them for another provider. By this time, I had already given up on the surgery, although it always lingered in the back of my mind somewhere. I went on eating my way thru life, occasionally thinking or talking about this or that diet. I also actually followed thru several times and tried various diets... Jenny Craig comes to mind, good food although too small of portions, lots of money, and did fine during the day, but in the evening I could easily eat my meal, my snack, another of their snack or twos... and sometimes even go on to look for something else. Needless to say I only lost a few pounds and of course eventually gained them plus some more back. I went on Atkins also... as everyone around me at work was doing it and dropping the weight like crazy! I did lose weight but not as much or as quick as it seemed others were, and when I went off of it... back came the weight plus more. I did the weight watchers program, but often found it hard to make it across to the farthest part of town away from me... and even though I did lose some...again it was alittle at a tme, and very slowly... only to fall off the wagon and regain plus more. Several years later my sister Buffy decided to go to the referral overview class with her insurance carrier Kaiser. I remember her going on and on ( not usual for her! ), and telling me about how confident she was feeling about the surgery with all of the information she was learning. She also began to make changes in her lifestyle. Not great big changes, but small ones over the course of the 14 week class. She also began to attend the local WLS montly support meeting. On February 2008, my sister had her surgery at the Kaiser in Richmond. All went well and she returned home after a couple of days. From that point on, every time I saw my sister (fairly often as she lives just on the next street from me), she was either doing some new healthy habbit or looking like she was melting away from the top down. As I continued to watch my sister and see her progress, I again revisted the idea of the WLS. By this time, I was at my all time high weight of 312.6 give or take, my feet and back constantly hurt, my knees crunched when I walked or stepped up, and I had high blood pressure, ending up on 4 different BP meds. I for the most part had become a spectator to life, sitting or laying down many times during my day. My sister on the other hand, was out walking her dogs on a daily basis, buying new moto cross outfits to ride on the ATV's with her kids, taking up yoga, and getting a bike. I contacted my insurance and was told I would have to once again go thru a class, but this time it was done over the phone with weekly check in's. As I did this, I began to think about taking the 14 week class that my sister had taken, as it was open to non-kaiser members for an additional twenty dollars. The phone check in thing was just not really doing alot for me. Timing is everything though... and I was soon told that the phone class was no longer going to be required, and that my employer was not going to pay the same percentage for our insurance any longer. I ended up swithing my insurance to Kaiser, to ensure I did not have to pay more out of my check to keep my prior insurance. As of July 2008 I had Kaiser Insurance coverage. First thing was first, I picked a doctor and with my sisters advise, requested a referral for WLS and registered for the 14 week class. Initially I was not too happy that I could not get into the September class which was being held on a day of the week that I had off work. I was in a rush and wanted everything done now... I even thought about going to the class and seeing if I might be able to take an empty slot, if someone did not show up.... but instead I dealt with my barriactric appointments. Initially I was contacted by San Francisco Kaiser, but I requested Richmond, and had to wait for the paperwork to be transferred over. (Even though I was in a rush, I wanted to go where my sister had been, as well as it being much easier of a drive and closer to my home). My first appointment was on September 30th where my official weigh in was 312.6 This was the weight that the center would use from now on. Numerous people were there for the orientation and they came from all over Northern California. My 14 week WLS overview class started on November 14th 2008. I believe there was 13 people in the class. Amazingly enough several worked for the county like I did, but in different departments. The class was very enlightening, and encouraged us to make small changes that we knew we could accomplish weekly- not as a diet, but as a way of living and for a new life! The class also worked on negative self talk and image, and turning those inner feelings and voices into positive ones. Each week we either had a speaker and/or worked on another part of successful WLS life. I remember one evening we each picked a couple of small snack crackers, shut our eyes, feel it in our hands, smell it deeply and focus on the smell, hold it in our mouth and note its texture and enjoy its crunch, and really savor its flavor. We were to be completely present during that exercise with the food and note how much we got out of the little piece of food when doing so. WOW! It was amazing to me, just how much the group of us had in common... We all tended to be very giving people, and did alot for others, but when it came to ourselves... not so much! Most of us had sleep apnea, and were either borderline or actually needed C-pap machines, none of us were really exercising, and many physically could not, and the list could go on and on. Even though I wanted so very badly to get into the earlier class, this is where I was meant to be... and where I found a safe place...and great friends and support. Nearly all of us have had our surgery, and the few that have not, still worked on making positive changes in their lives, and will find the right time and way for them... as I believe it is all in the timing...and things are meant to happen in a certain way...usually ending up for the best! I have often wished that I had done the surgery earlier... but the time was not right for me... when I went into surgery in January this year... I was a little scared... but not of dying on the table ( the 14 week class, along with researching the hospital and talking to my surgeon Dr. Parks and finding that neither had ever had a fatality on the operating table quickly gave me confidence), but possible complications down the road... this was quickly laid to rest as I knew I would die early without it...and the next half of my life would not be that of a quality one unless I made some radical lifestyle changes... So if you are contemplating the surgery, that is fine... if you are scared... that is fine, do some research...if you are deciding not to have the surgery but going to try it on your own and am making any positive changes in your lifestyle... I salute you... If you have had the surgery but having a rough time...go back to the basics and start setting small goals to incorporate the WLS rules... if you have had the surgery and am working it... I say to you ROCK ON!!!!

Congrats girl! Actually, you are past halfway! How good does THAT feel??? WOOT My body is resting, I am eating differently, I think I will lose 10-15 more eventually. Size 8 is my goal. My pannus is really not as bad as I thought it was going to be, and it is only below my navel and only in the front - don't need the full TT, just want the skin cut off. The boobies, that is a different story! They are all skin and I want that garbage cut off too, they hang down (almost to my pannus!) and hurt my back - plus make that slap-slap-slap noise when I run up or down the stairs! I need to go see a PS soon and get an idea of how much $$ I am looking at, I know it is $8000 for just the pannus skin to be removed, without ANYthing else. But it actuqlly hangs down about an inch less now than it did when I measured 2 months ago, so I am hoping that as my body changes it will diminish more. OH and my stupid port sticks out 2" now! You can totally see it under my clothes if I wear a sweater or something. Nicole you have lost almost 100% of excess weight, does yours stick out too far too?

Oh did I mention . . .I did 5K (3.1 miles) in 39 minutes this morning :-) I think this is where I need to put my efforts, instead of spending SO may hours a day walking SO many miles, I need to do more intense exercise for shorter periods of time. Then MAYbe I can get my house clean, balance things out a little.

Candra! I have the shrinking cookbook 4 you :-) If you & bridezilla want to come to Santa Rosa, I know a lady who bought out a bunch of bridals shops and has 3 huge storage units full of dresses that she sells for from $10 to $200. Beautiful stuff! She has some bridesmaids dresses to, although probably only about 60-70 of those. I bought my daughter 3 dresses for her wedding, she couldn't make up her mind so I spend the big $30 and got all 3!! The lady even altered one of them for FREE. It may be worth the drive!! Lemme know if you want her name & numba . . . . OK I ate the tuna!! Can anyone else eat the whole damned can in 1 sitting, or is it just me?!?!

Jeepers yall - this thread is suddenly a ghost town!!! Is it something I said?? LOL. I need to turn this off & get on my sweats & go speed-walk, but it's way foggy and cold so I'm dawdling :-)

Amen sister! You keep doing what you need to do for you. Your friend will either come around, or she won't. I am sorry about your loss, but . . . good for you.

OMG . . just found this on Fatty MGee's blog . . .I was researching having my pannus removed, and ran across this - I LOVE this woman and I've never even met her! We all have a pannus, if not now then after we lose - nthis woman embraces hers and others and it's hilarious!! Panni, front butts, and a mannus The image*** above shows a great depiction of a pannus. I have a pannus. Lindsey has a pannus. some pannuses are small, some are big. I would say mine is above average. It's the only thing I have ever excelled in. I may not be in the 90th percentile of my class, but I'm in the 90th percentile of my pannus...and that's all that counts. My co-worker, we'll call him Bill, has a pannus. Actually, Bill is so big I think we should call his a Mannus. Bill, I think, is getting up to almost 400lbs. I'm proud to call him a co-worker. Bill likes to show his Mannus off. He does this by wearing shirts that are too short. He doesn't seem to care about his Mannus. I do care. I'll go as far and as fat to cover my pannus up with sweatshirts tied around my waist and long t shirts. I wear men's t shirts. They cover my pannus. They do not cover Bill's Mannus. Such is life. Fat girl stores such as Lane Bryant (Dear Ms. Bryant, I love your bras...thanks for your support, love, Em) Torrid, and the plus size online section of Gap and Old Navy don't get it. They don't understand that women who are large have pannuses and like to keep them covered up. They think we like halter tops. They think we love showing off our "front butt". I am here to tell you, NO MORE FRONT BUTT! My uncle has a very interesting pannus. I call it his butt stomach (not to be confused with front butt). His butt stomach is a mix between a pannus and an ass. Imagine this...a normal pannus with a strange crease running from his belly button all the way down his pannus and eventually under it, into no man's pannus land.

Congrats Kathy! I'm so excited for you. I want mine cut off too, but am a bit worried about the upper belly skin hanging over - so glad to hear the result is better than you'd expected! Take good care & keep me posted please, I'll be there too as soon as I can afford it!!

You;re doing great, Jes! I think your food intake is pretty darned low. A whole cup of chili tho? Really? Was is sort of thin? I had: B - decaf soy latte L & D - homemade vegie "nachos" concoction, which uses the lowest-fat tortilla chips I can find, then veggie beef crumbles, fat-free veggie refried beans, hot sauce and reduced-fat mexican cheese. Lots of protein, but lots of carbs too I'm afraid . . . . beatsbtaco bell's, tho, which is where I was headed! Pure head hunger, no 2 ways about it. Like I was telling Pat this morning, I don't really get physically hungry - I was hungry by noon today, but had not had food for about 18 hours before that. BUT! I STILL have this insatiable desire to eat! Head, head, HEAD. My "tool" is working just fine, thank you. I'm not losing because I'm letting my head hunger win too much. And right now I don't really care, I am enjoying being a 10, I am OK with the fact that my little halloween moon on my Halloweeny ticker isn't going to get to the end before my 48th b-day (the 26th), and I'm just not beating myself up because my clothes fit the way I want them to. I have lost 111 lbs. and I am only 7 1/2 months out from surgery! Holy moley, I think I can slow down now! I happen to know that LAP-BAND® patients lose for 2 years, so I'm going to quit rushing the weight loss and try to get some balance back in my life. Not giving up on my daily exercise, but I'm going to leave room for more stuff too :thumbup: well that's the plan anyways. What is suprising me is how much less I eat even when I am not trying to eat less or be "good." Does that make any sense? I'm hoping that's my new normal :tt1: If anyone reading this has size 10 career clothes, I am in need!!! I have bids in on some items on ebay, but BOY does that take a lot of time! I still have 3 or 4 dress suits and a couple of blazers, all 16s in my closet for one of you career girls - I was going to have them altered, have found out I can buy new (used) for the $25 to $40 each it would cost to alter them, they are just too big to take in cheaply. Most need dry cleaning. Lemme know! My latest yummy thing: decaf vanilla chai steeped in hot vanilla soy slender (no water), drank before bed. 70 cals but 6 protein and 4 fiber . . . and I feel like I'm spoiling myself. Just got back from the store with #1 son, I went down to get a can of tuna for our dinner (I am TRYing to eat fish 2x a week, so far I have only managed 2x a month LOL) and then when I got home I realized that I was never wanting the tuna, I just wanted an excuse to eat the mayo! So . . . NO I didn't eat the mayo alone, but you thought I was going to say that didn't you?! That crazy Riley, cream of jimmie dean girl . . . . no i did not eat the mayon right bout of the jar, I put the tuna away and had my vanilla chai instead. Pretty proud right now!! Boy am I rambling! Someone quick, come on here and rescue me from myself . . . :tt2: OH! Candra I picked up your cookbook today :-)

Helllooooooo . . . . anybody out there???>

That's a great idea! Start the thread, I'll comment! Probably more than once - I realize new things that I have gained almost daily :-)

Well for bein' in bandster hell, you guys don't eat squat compared to what I was eating! I did same as Tina, lost good and then gained back 5 lbs. in the 2 weeks before my first fill. I still gain back a couplw when I'm due for a fill, but I gained a BUNCH back before that first one! It's the only real blip on the weight loss slide graph . . . . I met Pat this morning! (Hi Pat!) I can't wait for her to meet all the rest of you all, she sure enjoyed our energetic little Jess! Now I have someone to carpool with, yay! And we have a support group meeting this coming Thursday, and another one next Tiesday . . it's all about the support! The big group meeting up here today was very inspirational, as usual. SO proud of myself that I only cried 2 times! Going to walk to store with son, type when I get back :-)

OUCH! 178 this morning - that's a 3 lb. gain! oops . . . liver-weight no doubt, I have been craving and eating all manner of carbs, which I NEVER touch . . . . but clothes size down to a 10 this week! So all is good . . .I'll shed the liver-weight this week :-)