NeonRaven8919

I'm a London, UK based NHS patient. I've only just found your post, but I've added some hopefully helpful waffle to your original post.
I don't have experience of Portsmouth hospitals (only their seaside touristy spots) but in general, I've had only good experiences with the NHS treatment I got.
The psychologist visit is usually just a formality because I don't think a ten minute phone call is a really good gauge of someone's preparedness for a life altering surgery. If they NHS has already gotten you past the referral stage, I would imagine, you'll just need to wait until they can find a surgery slot.
I was approved in July of 2024 and told that "unless the moons and planets all align, you will likely get your surgery Spring 2025" I guess the moons aligned because two weeks later, they called to tell me it was time to start the 12 week milk pre-op diet and I was scheduled for October 2024. You will probably not have a 12 week pre-op diet. I was told this was a test group trial for University College London Hospital and because I had NAFLD.
Don't be too nervous (easier said than done, I'm sure) and congratulations! You've made it this far! You can do this!
We're all here to support you!

I'm a London, UK based NHS patient. I've only just found your post, but I've added some hopefully helpful waffle to your original post.
I don't have experience of Portsmouth hospitals (only their seaside touristy spots) but in general, I've had only good experiences with the NHS treatment I got.
The psychologist visit is usually just a formality because I don't think a ten minute phone call is a really good gauge of someone's preparedness for a life altering surgery. If they NHS has already gotten you past the referral stage, I would imagine, you'll just need to wait until they can find a surgery slot.
I was approved in July of 2024 and told that "unless the moons and planets all align, you will likely get your surgery Spring 2025" I guess the moons aligned because two weeks later, they called to tell me it was time to start the 12 week milk pre-op diet and I was scheduled for October 2024. You will probably not have a 12 week pre-op diet. I was told this was a test group trial for University College London Hospital and because I had NAFLD.
Don't be too nervous (easier said than done, I'm sure) and congratulations! You've made it this far! You can do this!
We're all here to support you!

Definitely a win in my eyes, or more accurately, a near win
I walk passed a charity shop every day on my way to work and they've had a dress in there that I've loved for awhile (Light grey stripes with neon yellow stripes). I never bought it because it's a size S and I'm not a size S. Still sometimes never think I could be. But still, I admired it from afar.
For months, I've seen it in there next to the neon yellow hot pants (I love neon, but I will never be a hot pants person as I don't like the wedgie feeling)
I handed in my resignation a month ago and am moving on to new neon green pastures. So I told myself, if that dress is still there on the last day of work and it's the last time I will walk by that charity shop, it must be fate.
So I bought the dress. As my mother would say "just because it goes around you, doesn't mean it fits". She was right. It doesn't fit. Yet. But the fact I can even get a size S to go around me is a victory. Something I would never have dreamed.
But it WILL fit me. Not just because I believe in fate, not just because no one else wanted this grey and neon yellow eye sore, but because I've quite literally worked my arse off.

Definitely a win in my eyes, or more accurately, a near win
I walk passed a charity shop every day on my way to work and they've had a dress in there that I've loved for awhile (Light grey stripes with neon yellow stripes). I never bought it because it's a size S and I'm not a size S. Still sometimes never think I could be. But still, I admired it from afar.
For months, I've seen it in there next to the neon yellow hot pants (I love neon, but I will never be a hot pants person as I don't like the wedgie feeling)
I handed in my resignation a month ago and am moving on to new neon green pastures. So I told myself, if that dress is still there on the last day of work and it's the last time I will walk by that charity shop, it must be fate.
So I bought the dress. As my mother would say "just because it goes around you, doesn't mean it fits". She was right. It doesn't fit. Yet. But the fact I can even get a size S to go around me is a victory. Something I would never have dreamed.
But it WILL fit me. Not just because I believe in fate, not just because no one else wanted this grey and neon yellow eye sore, but because I've quite literally worked my arse off.

That's a wonderful, but sad, story. It's also incredibly happy. You find your way through the darkness and that's incredible!

That's a wonderful, but sad, story. It's also incredibly happy. You find your way through the darkness and that's incredible!

Anyone who has ever flown commercial has seen the safety briefing, right ?
"In the case of cabin pressure drop....an air mask will lower itself in front of each passenger.....put your own in place before helping those beside you"
Took me quite a while to realize that our own personal health condition is no different.


The WLS provided a wild ride for about three years. Surgery yield excellent weight loss results. Faster than I was ready for. I didn't make the best of decisions and never missed the opportunity to go have fun.

One day....I woke up from the hubris and took inventory. My marriage had somehow survived...as it had survived tough times well prior. I was a dad to an insanely gifted son. I had a good job surrounded by great people. Mostly, though....my wife was there at my side and patiently waiting for me to get my head extracted from my arse.
I did.
We then had what can only be described as the best years of our marriage....like we were dating again. I was blessed and the first to acknowledge such.
She had some health issues arise and we discovered it was worse than we were expecting. Diagnosis was cancer....treatment began right away but it was a terminal diagnosis. She fought hard...superhuman efforts. Her pain tolerance was Simply Beyond my compression. Cancer took her in April of 2021.
I maintained my promise to her to keep on with the sobriety.
I failed in most other ways. I had zero desire to cook as it was too painful. Anytime I'd try the sense of loss would be overpowering. We had so many fun times in and around the kitchen....I'd cook and she'd help me clean up my mess. Music always on....every day together was alike a date night.
I remain so very grateful to have been given those recent great years together....but I chickened out when it involved anything we'd once do together. No cooking of anything other than maybe a quick breakfast.....no music....no movies or shows we once enjoyed, no gym, no maintaining of friendships......just went to work each day and came home....existing off fast food and vending machine garbage at work.
Three and a half years went on like that.
As the fourth anniversary of her death loomed, I once again took inventory. What I acknowledged was ugly. The mirror sucked, the way most of my clothes fit sucked, my annual checkups with our primary care doc sucked....and I owned every single bit of it. I owned all that suck.
I also knew that she would kick my ass for letting myself give up like I had. I've never quit anything in my life....yet there I was....quitting on pretty much everything. I pissed myself off so badly.
I made the decision to crawl outa that hole and do what she would have me do if she was here to push & pull on me to get my shyt together. She fought so hard to live....and there I was... giving up...no fight, no attempt, just giving up like a punk.
So things began to improve greatly when I started jumping on what I could gain control of. My health was a perfect place to start.....

And so it has been going the last few months. Daily macros are improving more each day. Essentially Keto but am supplementing with fish oil, Fiber, turmeric, powdered greens, multi-vitamins.....trying to shore up every aspect of daily good stuff taken in. I flipped the collective bird to all the fast food restaurants and their drive thru windows. Screw 'em all.

Found the stereo again....whether in the truck or at the house. There is music.
Took over the yardwork....and there is a pile of it needed.
Joined a gym. Bought some new ear buds and gym clothes....and a heap more new music.

In short.....I acknowledged that throwing my own health away was what had been selfish......taking control of it was imperative.

The loss is still there....but my response to it is now different.
Now I am doing much more to honor her by living as she wanted me to. She wanted me to live....all aspects of living.
Health first, foremost and always.......and the other aspects of living are becoming more clear each day.
Life is a gift. Squandering that gift is a crime.

Longwinded answer.

@NeonRaven8919 I love that for you you will definitely be able to fit in that dress soon enough show us some pictures once it does! @Dub your winning. @NeonRaven8919As far as the scale goes, I'm a year and two months postop. I've never owned a scale. I still don't own a scale. It's not good for my poor mental health and as a woman we have too many hormonal changes, bloating, cycles, menopause, perimenopause, Water retention it's just not a good indicator of your progress. Your metabolic wellness is your best indicator of the progress that you're making.

This a great point!
This took a long for me to get to terms with. Just going up slightly while I was on the pre-op diet had me panicking that I would be refused surgery, and going slightly up or the scale not budging after surgery and I was convinced I was a failure. The scale is neither a friend, nor an enemy, but this mindset took some time for me to understand.

It is a marathon, not a sprint or *insert favourite cliche here*

Definitely a win in my eyes, or more accurately, a near win
I walk passed a charity shop every day on my way to work and they've had a dress in there that I've loved for awhile (Light grey stripes with neon yellow stripes). I never bought it because it's a size S and I'm not a size S. Still sometimes never think I could be. But still, I admired it from afar.
For months, I've seen it in there next to the neon yellow hot pants (I love neon, but I will never be a hot pants person as I don't like the wedgie feeling)
I handed in my resignation a month ago and am moving on to new neon green pastures. So I told myself, if that dress is still there on the last day of work and it's the last time I will walk by that charity shop, it must be fate.
So I bought the dress. As my mother would say "just because it goes around you, doesn't mean it fits". She was right. It doesn't fit. Yet. But the fact I can even get a size S to go around me is a victory. Something I would never have dreamed.
But it WILL fit me. Not just because I believe in fate, not just because no one else wanted this grey and neon yellow eye sore, but because I've quite literally worked my arse off.

Yes, it was a lovely thought but … I avoid buying clothing of any sort for anyone unless I’m certain about what size they are but even that can be different label to label, fit to fit. Even someone who is about the same height and weight as you can wear a different size because of different body shapes. If I do want to buy clothing for someone I’ve snooped (helped with the laundry or checked a tag of something they’re showing me), asked a spouse, sibling, parent or child to find out what size someone wears or just asked them outright.
What about asking if they still have the receipts so you can exchange them for smaller sizes?

Much respect for how you played that.
You'll rock that dress.

It is great to have some "goal clothes".

I have a pair of jeans that are in the closet....waiting on me to grab 'em & wear 'em out. I hung onto them as I'd bought them right after the sleeve. I never got there.....but I am confident I will this time.

So my win yesterday was being able to comfortably fit into my new Victoria Beckham jeans, size 8UK / 4US, and eat a meal (2 mini slider burgers less the buns) without fearing I would split the zip

This a great point!
This took a long for me to get to terms with. Just going up slightly while I was on the pre-op diet had me panicking that I would be refused surgery, and going slightly up or the scale not budging after surgery and I was convinced I was a failure. The scale is neither a friend, nor an enemy, but this mindset took some time for me to understand.

It is a marathon, not a sprint or *insert favourite cliche here*

Thank you.
Seems like there are wins occurring every single day. I am finally in a place where I can see them for what they are and appreciate them. A pile of these little wins are funny in some way, too.
Back in the timeframe surrounding my sleeve surgery the weight loss is what drove my happiness. Getting rid of the unwanted bulk was awesome and it was the spark that ignited a powderkeg of fun, adventure and a small bit of misadventure.
I had no plan or goal for what life would look like....I simply jumped onboard the train and was okay wherever it took me.
Now it is different, but I believe in a better way....perhaps.
I know what lies ahead in terms of carving off the unwanted weight. I'm familiar with trodding that ground and know where some of the pitfalls may be.
I think having my head screwed on correctly has made the daily discipline easy to achieve. The weight loss is more of a symptom of everything else falling into place. It is not its own thing, but a part of the overall improved state of mind.
Hard to verbalize, but there is a goal for daily life...and I am getting closer to being in that spot and living that daily.
I still get a kick out of hearing the scale make its new lower reports, but I don't get pissed if there isn't some big drop or even an uptick from the day before. I know this for the long haul. There will be a steady drop and there may be a few days here or there where it'll be in a holding pattern before resuming the loss train.
One aspect of life...one that will take care of itself so long as I follow through on the straightforward nutritional steps.
One thing that makes it SO freaking much easier this time around is the supplements available to us now. Essential greens in a powder, turmeric capsules, fiber-filled products, Protein products with zero sugars, Vitamins galore, etc, etc.
Life is good....and getting gooder.

Definitely a win in my eyes, or more accurately, a near win
I walk passed a charity shop every day on my way to work and they've had a dress in there that I've loved for awhile (Light grey stripes with neon yellow stripes). I never bought it because it's a size S and I'm not a size S. Still sometimes never think I could be. But still, I admired it from afar.
For months, I've seen it in there next to the neon yellow hot pants (I love neon, but I will never be a hot pants person as I don't like the wedgie feeling)
I handed in my resignation a month ago and am moving on to new neon green pastures. So I told myself, if that dress is still there on the last day of work and it's the last time I will walk by that charity shop, it must be fate.
So I bought the dress. As my mother would say "just because it goes around you, doesn't mean it fits". She was right. It doesn't fit. Yet. But the fact I can even get a size S to go around me is a victory. Something I would never have dreamed.
But it WILL fit me. Not just because I believe in fate, not just because no one else wanted this grey and neon yellow eye sore, but because I've quite literally worked my arse off.

Definitely a win in my eyes, or more accurately, a near win
I walk passed a charity shop every day on my way to work and they've had a dress in there that I've loved for awhile (Light grey stripes with neon yellow stripes). I never bought it because it's a size S and I'm not a size S. Still sometimes never think I could be. But still, I admired it from afar.
For months, I've seen it in there next to the neon yellow hot pants (I love neon, but I will never be a hot pants person as I don't like the wedgie feeling)
I handed in my resignation a month ago and am moving on to new neon green pastures. So I told myself, if that dress is still there on the last day of work and it's the last time I will walk by that charity shop, it must be fate.
So I bought the dress. As my mother would say "just because it goes around you, doesn't mean it fits". She was right. It doesn't fit. Yet. But the fact I can even get a size S to go around me is a victory. Something I would never have dreamed.
But it WILL fit me. Not just because I believe in fate, not just because no one else wanted this grey and neon yellow eye sore, but because I've quite literally worked my arse off.

Definitely a win in my eyes, or more accurately, a near win
I walk passed a charity shop every day on my way to work and they've had a dress in there that I've loved for awhile (Light grey stripes with neon yellow stripes). I never bought it because it's a size S and I'm not a size S. Still sometimes never think I could be. But still, I admired it from afar.
For months, I've seen it in there next to the neon yellow hot pants (I love neon, but I will never be a hot pants person as I don't like the wedgie feeling)
I handed in my resignation a month ago and am moving on to new neon green pastures. So I told myself, if that dress is still there on the last day of work and it's the last time I will walk by that charity shop, it must be fate.
So I bought the dress. As my mother would say "just because it goes around you, doesn't mean it fits". She was right. It doesn't fit. Yet. But the fact I can even get a size S to go around me is a victory. Something I would never have dreamed.
But it WILL fit me. Not just because I believe in fate, not just because no one else wanted this grey and neon yellow eye sore, but because I've quite literally worked my arse off.

I can see you, you had the biggest grin on your face. Congratulations, onwards and downwards to your next win

A couple small wins yesterday.
Small, but I take note of them and small wins encourage the behaviors that lead to bigger wins, right ?
So...this 'un is a two parter.
Several months ago, a few weeks before I had taken action to burn off the regains and dig my way back.... I was goofing around on the web... looking through a certain company's website. They make gear that is hobby related. I happened to notice that they also had some logo T-shirts that looked cool. So I ordered two....but ordered them for two sizes smaller than I was wearing then.
They arrived and were stashed away with some other clothing, all smaller sizes, that I'd been ordering. The stash had made it's way upstairs to be put away.
Soon afterwards... I started putting in the work....burning off the regain and get in better overall health. Kitchen discipline being the first step.
Fast forward to yesterday.....laundry day at the hacienda.
Grabbed a shower and started getting dressed so I could go knock out some errands. Almost dressed but remembered my normal day off work stuff was on the drying rack. Damn.
I spied the stack of smaller sized stuff still in shopping bags....sitting there. Hmmm. Screw it...let's find out, dude...either it'll fit or it won't. Grabbed one of the new cool guy t-shirts and some new flat fronted cargo pants. Cut off tags & peeled off stickers and began to.....WTH !!! This shyt if fitting. Bamsucka. Got dressed and strutted around the room like a bantam rooster....chest poked out....big grin.
Small Win Numba One Achieved.
While running errands I wheeled into a parking space in front of one of the local gyms I'd been considering. Took my bantam rooster arse up in there and looked around. It was clean, plenty of open treadmills and recumbent bikes...just what I need for pre-habbing my knees. Gonna build up the muscle tissue before getting those suckers replaced over the next couple years.
I joined.
Small Win Numba Two Achieved.
I plan on never having to eat an elephant (although I used to look like I could)......but....but if I did....I'd eat that thang one bite at a time.
Thankfully getting healthy may prove to be easier than elephant eating. 🤣

My win for the week is that I’m finally getting back to the fitness level I was at before my 7-week break. I’m almost lifting as heavy as I was, my endurance is better, and overall I’m feeling really good about my progress. I’m trying not to focus too much on the number on the scale (still being mindful) but paying more attention to how my clothes fit, how I look, and how I feel health-wise.

I can totally relate to this, 2 years out from surgery. I was beginning to think I might not see my end goal weight of 150. Until a couple weeks ago. I was bouncing around 155-160 for the longest of time and was resigned to the fact that the rebound weight everyone talked about here had happened or maybe my goal was just off. I was perfectly happy to remain in the 150s, but I'll admit I'm pleasantly surprised. And fitting into a size 6. Sometimes a 4 depending on the clothing item. Dreams really do come true. LOL
This forum has been such a help to me during the whole process. I'd like to thank you all for your advice and encouragement. It was and is priceless to me. Will periodically check in and I continue to wish everyone here much success and boundless health. ❤️

@ms.sss I love that! That's awesome... yeah In other groups I'm part of people talk about not wanting to be identified as this WLS "patient" they feel that they have always been someone else ..that is not their whole being so I love that you go chick!
This f**king journey is hard as hell I commend anybody who gets through this journey successfully so if you can get through this journey. You can Get through anything that includes tackling regain if you have regain or you can do anything your mind sets out to do it's hard it requires that much discipline so if you can be disciplined in this, you could be disciplined in anything.

a bittersweet win: i find i don't need nor rely on this forum as much as i used to.
🥹
i am more and more no longer identifying as a WLS patient nor "former obese person". i'm just me. i find im not so scared about "getting fat" again, and sort of just know in my bones that i've got this, no matter what comes my way.
confidence is honestly THE best thing to come out of all of this.
❤️

I should have posted this last Sunday, but I ran a half marathon and broke 2 hours for the first time. I know a lot of runners train for years to complete that milestone, so I'm pretty happy with that!